It's A Thing
The aftermath of the walker herd left the Alexandrians devastated, Deanna, Jessie and her sons gone, and Carl tragically wounded. It was dawn now and Denise was suddenly coming to the end of the wounded she needed to treat. Michonne and Judith stood just outside Carl's room. She didn't go in with Rick. She thought he would want to be alone with Carl. He had been in there for about an hour, and Judith needed to go to bed. Michonne stepped quietly in the room.
"He's going to be alright." Rick said turning to Michonne.
She handed Judith to Rick and walked around to the other side of Carl's bed.
"I'm going to take Judith home and put her to bed."
She gently ran her hand over Carl's head and gently kissed it. She walked back over to Rick and took Judith from him.
"Try to get home soon and get some rest." She said putting her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. He reached up to her hand and held it briefly.
"I will." He said looking up to her eyes. "Thank you for taking care of Judith."
He stood up and ran his hand over Judith's hair. Michonne took a look at him and noticed how fatigued he really was. She turned her head to the side causing him to look in her eyes.
"Why don't you come home now? Let's check with Denise on Carl's condition before we leave."
He held her gaze for a moment and then nodded. He turned back to Carl and kissed his head and followed Michonne out the door.
Rick carried Judith to their home, and once inside Michonne took Judith from him.
"You go on up. I'll get Judith to bed."
"Are you sure, you don't have to."
"I know. You need to rest. Carl may wake up tomorrow."
He nodded and went upstairs. Michonne bathed Judith downstairs in her bathroom, and then went upstairs to put her to bed. She walked by Rick's room and peeked in. He was cleaned up and asleep with an opened book laying across his chest. She silently walked in and picked up the book and laid it on the nightstand. She looked down at him sleeping and could see the stress he was feeling on his face. She wanted to comfort him somehow, but that's not what he needs or what she can give right now.
Rick woke up early the next morning and looked over at the clock. The baby monitor wasn't there, and he remembered Michonne had taken care of Judith. He got up and dressed to go see about Carl. The events of the night before didn't plague his sleep, but waited until now. Jessie and her children were dead, Deanna was dead. They got rid of the herd inside the walls, and today was going to be a big day of clean up. The clock read 6 a.m. He strapped on his gun, went in and saw that Judith was still asleep. Michonne had been a big help to him as always, and he certainly didn't want to take advantage of her being a mother to his children without her consent. He went downstairs to see if she was awake, he wanted to talk to her.
Michonne lay in the bed of her downstairs bedroom. When they first got to Alexandria their group stayed together in the house Rick chose as his own. They stayed together for a week and then branched out to other houses when they felt comfortable with the community. Rick told Michonne she could stay if she wanted to because there was more room there than he, Carl and Judith needed. She felt she belonged there with them and agreed. Rick was her best friend, and she still felt he wanted her near; not for the children, but for him. She opened her eyes with the feeling someone was in her room. Out of pure instinct, her hand grasped the handle of her katana and she looked toward the doorway. Rick was standing in the doorway leaning against the doorframe. The look on his face was curious to her. Every time he looked at her, no matter what drama they were going through, his face would go soft and tender, and his eyes gentle. She mentally shook the fog from her head.
"You okay?" She said sitting up.
"I didn't want to wake you."
"I'm not sure you did. What time is it?"
"About 6:30. I was going to go see Carl and help with the cleanup. Judith is to go to Carol, but she's still asleep."
"She had a big day yesterday." Michonne said getting out of bed. "You go ahead, I'll take her to Carol and then join you later."
Rick nodded and cleared his throat.
"I need to talk to you. I'll wait until you get dressed."
Rick turned and left the room. Michonne looked down to make sure she at least had pajamas on. She did. He could have stayed and talked to her in her room. He seemed fidgety and nervous. What was that all about?
She quickly got dressed and left her bedroom. Rick was in the kitchen eating an apple.
"What is it?"
He seemed somewhat relieved when he saw her.
"Michonne I really appreciate what you did yesterday."
"What did I do?"
"You kept me alive for one thing, and you really love my children."
Michonne was speechless. She hadn't done anything different than usual, but this was the first time his children had been involved.
"I do love them, and no matter what, I'm here for you."
"That's kind of a big undertaking don't you think?" He said smiling.
"Not for me."
He thought about her statement and realized this is probably something she's needed in her life, like being there for Carl.
"I don't want you overwhelmed living here with us, and you're not their babysitter, I want that to be clear."
"You already talked to me about this regarding Carl."
"I guess I'm adding an addendum to that to include Judith. She's still a baby and without a mother. You're like a mother to them, and that's how I want it, if that's alright with you."
Michonne smiled sadly, actively fighting back tears. This man never ceased to amaze her. He just finished slaughtering who knows how many walkers, and can articulate so tenderly and appeal to her so deeply.
"It is." She said never thinking that she would be blessed to be a mother again.
"It takes 2 people as well as a whole community to raise kids, especially now. Any decisions involving Carl and Judith you need to make in my absence, you go ahead and make them."
He stopped talking for a moment and looked in her face.
"You okay?"
"I am." She said plainly to cover for her emerging emotions.
Judith could be heard crying from upstairs.
"You go do your thing." Michonne said going up the stairs. "I'll be there soon."
He watched her go up the stairs, and felt very fortunate to have her in his life.
Rick left Carl and went out to join the Alexandrians in the walker cleanup. He walked over to Michonne who was going through the dead making sure they were indeed dead. When she saw Rick, she was grateful Aaron was thoughtful enough to locate Jessie and her children and move what was left of their bodies over to the cemetery.
"How's Carl?"
"He's still not awake, but Denise said his vital signs are good. I'll take over here, why don't you go see him."
"Jessie's body has been taken to the cemetery." Michonne informed him.
"Okay." He said nodding to her.
To Michonne's surprise, he went right to inspecting walker corpses instead of going to the cemetery.
Two days after the walker herd, Carl was still unconscious. Michonne sat at his bedside reading to him. Denise said he was still doing well, and should wake up soon. She grabbed a book with a bookmark in it from his room and started reading where he had left off. The book was Moby Dick, which she recalled had some very boring chapters in it. As she started reading she saw Carl move a little. It wasn't the first time she had seen him move, so she continued to read.
"I've read that book already." He said in a hoarse voice.
She stopped reading and jumped up from the chair to look down on his face.
"Michonne, I can't see."
"Hold on, I'll get Denise."
"Denise, he's awake." Michonne loudly whispered from the door.
Denise came in and quickly examined Carl.
"He said he can't see."
"That's temporary. How do you feel Carl?"
"My head hurts, what happened? The walker herd! Where's my dad, and Judith? Where's Michonne?"
"I'm here Carl, I'll go get your dad. We're all okay."
Michonne went to the door and let out a loud, shrill whistle.
A very short time later she saw Rick and Daryl rounding the corner at a run. He looked devastated then relieved when he saw the smile on Michonne's face.
"He's alright, he's alright, and awake."
Rick squeezed her shoulder as he quickly moved past her and into the house to Carl's room.
"Carl."
Carl's vision had returned by the time Rick entered the room.
"Hey Dad, what happened?"
Rick turned and looked at Michonne. Her looked told him Carl didn't remember.
"We defeated the walker herd. Jessie, Ron and Sam didn't make it. You were accidently shot in the eye." Rick said holding Carl's hand.
Carl's hand flew to the bandage on his face. Tears fell from his other eye, and Michonne could tell he didn't want to cry.
"If you feel like crying, go ahead and don't hold it in. Your dad and I are right here."
He sniffed and looked at his dad.
"Never a dull moment." Carl said in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"You're going to have to compensate for that when you shoot." Rick said smiling sadly.
Carl looked at his father and nodded.
"I can do it."
"I know you can."
"I just didn't want to look like the governor."
Carl's attitude was neutral, but Rick looked at Michonne with the same bitter look that was on her face.
"He'll be fine." Denise said.
"When can he come home?" Michonne asked.
"Tomorrow. I want to watch him overnight, and he'll have to come every day to see me to get his bandage changed."
"Alright." Rick said facing Denise. "I really appreciate what you've done. Carl was shot before when he was very young, and a very kind person helped him then too. Thank you, and if you ever need me, let me know."
All she could do was nod silently. Usually she could talk to anyone, but ever since Rick Grimes and his group arrived at Alexandria, he was larger than life to many Alexandrians. Denise thought he was intimidating when she first saw him, and even now, but on the other hand she noted he was probably the kindest man she had ever met.
Rick wanted to see Michonne in private and she left the room with him.
"I'll take over now, you go home and gets some rest."
"Only if you promise not to stay long. You need rest as well as Carl. You'll need it when he comes home." Michonne said making him look at her.
"Okay." He said squeezing her shoulder again.
Rick went back in and found a sleepy Carl dozing off.
"I love you son."
"I love you too Dad."
Rick kissed his son's head and sat down in the chair next to the bed.
"I miss them Dad."
"Who son?" Rick said leaning in with his arms on the bed.
"Mom, Shane, Hershel, Dale, Beth…"
As Carl's list continued, Rick closed his eyes and shook his head wanting to break down and cry. His son has lost so much in his young life.
"I miss them too," was all he could manage to say. He was relieved when Carl quickly fell asleep.
When Rick got home, Michonne had just finished giving Judith her bath, and she had dinner ready for him.
"How's Carl doing?" She asked coming downstairs with Judith who instantly reached for her father.
"He started naming off everyone he misses." Rick said. "It's enough to break my heart."
Rick's eyes filled with tears and Michonne put a hand on his upper arm.
"It's natural for him to do that. He's in pain. Physical and emotional. I'm glad he's talking about them. How we treat that will help him cope with everything that's happened, and possibly what's to come. We don't want him to keep that inside."
"I guess so." Rick said kissing Judith's head. "I would like to know what he remembers about Shane and what happened there."
"That's something you really should talk to him about before it shows itself in unpleasant ways. Don't let anything he says pass by you. He needs to know that you want to know what he thinks."
Rick nodded and took Judith upstairs to put her to bed. When he came downstairs Michonne was in the kitchen rubbing at her neck.
"Stiff neck?"
"Yeah, I think it happened dozing off in that chair while I was reading to Carl."
Rick walked over and turned her around. "Move your hair." He said and proceeded to rub the knots out of her neck and shoulders.
"I'll give you an hour to stop that." She said moaning.
Rick smiled and continued to rub at her neck and shoulders. He noted her fine, strong muscles at her shoulders and upper back. He felt her relax under his touch, and she found herself starting to yearn for more.
Her eyes opened wide and she let her hair drop.
"That was great." She said easing away from his touch. Why start something that might not get off the ground. "Where did you learn that?"
"I didn't know I was doing anything special."
"You were." She said under her breath and fleeing to the sink to wash her hands for the second time. "My neck feels better." She said covering for her internal reaction to his touch.
They sat down to dinner together and talked about the progress of the cleanup, and Carl's condition. She always liked the times they spent talking together. Sometimes sitting and talking with her calmed him down to where he could easily fall asleep, but never did because she had to be the most mysterious person he had ever met, and also the most in tune with him. It was possible, he thought, he might be in tune with her, because that's exactly how it felt. Suddenly he saw something in her eyes that changed his mood. He felt a disturbance to his comfort zone and quickly got up and took his plate with him to the sink.
"I'm going to bed. I worked harder than I thought."
"And relief that Carl is awake could make you tired too."
"Thanks Michonne. Good night." He said going up the stairs.
Michonne sat alone at the table and exhaled. She refused to let any thoughts of what she felt when Rick put his hands on her shoulders take over her mind. She wouldn't let that ruin their friendship. He was her best friend and she didn't want to lose that.
Rick went into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. How he stopped himself from breathing hard in her presence, he will never know. He paced the room for a few moments and then took a shower. As the warm water fell on his head, all he could think about were those beautiful shoulders. He then reached up and turned the dial to the cold water setting.
By the time he got out of the shower, he had made a decision no matter what was in the future. He tried to regain the ways of the past, but they could not stand in this next world. What happened between him and Jessie was the proof. It didn't occur to him at that time that she was all wrong for him, and she was married. What had he been thinking? Using that woman to correct his failure was wrong and misguided. He walked over to the dresser and looked down at his hand. Without further guilt or regret, he removed his wedding ring.
In the morning Rick came downstairs and heard Carol talking to Judith in the kitchen.
"Good morning." He said.
"Good morning to you. You look rested."
"Sort of. Is Michonne here?"
"She left out as soon as I got here. She said she wanted to help out with the cleanup before Carl was due home."
Rick nodded and went over to play with Judith.
"Are you okay?" Carol asked noticing Rick was preoccupied.
"Yeah. How are you?"
"Not too bad. Now that Deanna's gone, and you're the leader, does everyone get to carry guns?"
Rick closed his eyes and mentally shook his head trying to forget how insensitive Carol could be at times.
"Yeah, I'm going to go talk to Olivia today about that."
"I guess we could have waited. It was just a matter of time before we took this place over."
Rick looked at Carol with a frown on his face.
"Am I wrong?" She said looking innocently.
"Not really, but sometimes the order your words are placed into sentences puts your sensitivity in question."
He stood up and kissed Judith. He went over to the coat rack for his gun and strapped it on.
"I think Michonne has plans to be home early with Carl."
"Sounds good. Have a good day." Carol said.
Carl was finally home and spent a lot of time sleeping. Denise said that was normal and not to worry. The more sleep he got, the better chance for a speedy recovery. His brain was not involved so he would be fully functional soon.
Michonne was sitting on the patio couch on the porch with her legs stretched out across the ottoman. Her head was back and her eyes closed.
"You look completely worthless." Rick said laughing.
"I am. This is great. Come try it."
He sat down next to her and extended his legs next to hers on the ottoman.
"You have to tilt your head back and close your eyes."
He did that and in about 2 minutes his breathing had slowed down and he started to snore softly.
She laughed and gently elbowed him in the ribs.
"Being completely worthless is great isn't it?"
"Yeah. I've got to get up and check on Carl."
"He's asleep. I'll run in and check on him and start dinner. I've been worthless long enough. It's your turn."
She got up and left Rick there in the relaxing cool breeze. She smiled to herself as she walked into the house.
That night Rick sat bolt upright in bed. He listened to what he thought he heard and quickly went to Carl's room. He was clearly in pain. He face was red and he was trying to sit up. He went to his son's room and held him down on the bed.
"Michonne!" Rick yelled out.
Michonne jumped up and sprinted up the stairs.
"What is it?" She said joining Rick at Carl's bedside.
"Get Denise. He's in pain."
If the situation had not been dire, Rick would have taken longer to look at Michonne. She was dressed in a tank top and shorts. He had never seen her bare legs before.
Denise came quickly and examined Carl. She assured them that he would from time to time feel throbbing pain from the wound. She gave them stronger pain killers for him and Carl was now resting peacefully.
Rick walked Denise home and when he got back, Michonne was standing by the kitchen counter.
"Did she say anything else?"
Rick shook his head and went into the kitchen.
"I made coffee for you."
"Thanks, that's exactly what I wanted."
He looked at her and took in what he couldn't fully appreciate earlier. He couldn't even begin to absorb how magnificent her body truly was.
"I just checked on Carl and Judith. I'm going back to bed. See you in the morning." She said quickly going to her room. The looks he gave her she liked, but she didn't want to false start anything.
"Good night." He said finishing his coffee.
He watched as she walked away. He averted his eyes before she disappeared down the hall.
After a month and a half, Carl's condition progressed nicely and the severe pain from the wound faded slowly down to a small irritation from time to time. He had gone back to school and was doing very well adjusting to seeing just out of one eye.
In the morning, Rick came downstairs and heard Carol talking to Judith in the kitchen.
"Good morning." He said.
"Good morning. Michonne told me to tell you she's taken an extra shift on watch today for all that time she missed when Carl came home."
Rick nodded and went over to play with Judith.
"Are you okay?" Carol asked noticing Rick was preoccupied.
"Yeah."
He stood up and kissed Judith. He went over to the coat rack for his gun and strapped it on.
"Are you sleeping with her?"
He stopped and looked at Carol with his mouth partially open.
"With who?" He asked shocked at her question.
"With Michonne, sunshine."
"Her room is there, and my room is up there." He said pointing upward.
"That doesn't mean…"
"It does in this case, and why would you ask?"
"There has always been something subtle there between you two, but it jumps off the two of you now."
"Well, we're good friends if that's what you're seeing. I'll see you later."
"You're falling in love with her." Carol said before he could get to the door.
He stopped and let what she said wash over him like a flood. She put a name to that thing he was starting to feel. He turned and looked at Carol.
"There would be no other reason for you to take off your ring."
Still he said nothing. What could he say?
"It's changed you in a good way. Don't screw it up."
Rick left out the door with every word Carol said stuck in the center of his chest.
The next morning breakfast was oatmeal with cinnamon and apples. Carl and Judith had already eaten, and she could hear Rick walking around upstairs, then his footfalls on the stairs.
"Good morning." He said going right to the cabinet for a bowl. "Oatmeal?"
"It's good for you."
"I'll take your word for it. How are you?"
"Pretty good. You?"
"Still tired I think." He said eating the oatmeal.
"What have you got going today?"
"Meetings mostly. I'll let you know what's going on."
"We need to find more food."
"Yeah. That'll be the main topic of the meeting. We'll need to organize more runs."
"I can tell you're losing weight. Is that why you took your ring off?"
She knew it had been at least a month since she first noticed he had removed his ring, but wanted to wait for the opportunity to ask about it.
He wasn't quite ready to have that conversation with her, but he wanted to tell her the truth.
"It's time I did don't you think?"
He didn't wait for her response. He stood up and dropped his empty bowl in the sink, grabbed his gun and headed out the door. She continued looking the way he had gone long after he left.
Why would I think it's time he took his ring off?
She started cleaning up the kitchen before her shift. She stopped and started to stare down into the dishwater.
"What do you want?" She said out loud, echoing Deanna's words.
The next morning Rick woke up and noticed his children were gone. Judith would be with Carol, and Carl had school. He dressed and went downstairs to see if Michonne was still there. He was preoccupied with thoughts of getting more food for the community. They needed food badly. He opened the door to her room without thinking. She was there and was just closing her robe, but not before his eyes caught a full glimpse of her. It unfolded as if in slow motion. He could hardly tear his eyes away, but he had to.
"Rick?"
"I'm sorry." He said turning his head away. "I wanted to….ah, is Judith here with you?"
"Carol came and took her already."
"Okay." He nodded and stopped panicking. He slowed down and took a breath.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"Honest mistake." She said looking into his eyes which always made him stop to read hers.
He left her room frantically trying to calm his breathing. He closed his eyes and tried to commit her beautiful skin, every curve and fine line to memory.
Over the next few weeks, Rick and Michonne had a chance to relax and really get to talk to each other. They talked and laughed about things that had happened in their recent past. Circumstances they had lived under did not permit these conversations, and they were pleasantly surprised that they thought the same thing about the same things. Had she really always been with him? Rick asked himself.
Rick had a restless night suddenly thinking about the theory of the law of averages, and wondered if it pertained to relationships. Thinking about what Carol had said, he realized he was afraid to let someone in again, even though this was right. She had become utterly precious to him. Thinking back, he recalled times while they were on the road that her happiness was always important to him. He knew Carol was right, he was falling in love with Michonne, and could only hope she could feel the same way about him.
"Rick!" Michonne called upstairs. It was fairly early and Eugene had come by looking for him.
"I'm up here." He said.
She went upstairs to his room and knocked lightly on the opened door.
"I'm in the bathroom."
"Are you decent?" Michonne asked.
"I've been told I am."
She walked over to the open bathroom door and clenched her teeth so her jaw wouldn't drop. He was standing in front of the mirror shaving with only a towel around his waist. She blinked twice hoping she wasn't seeing things.
"Everything alright?" He said nonchalantly.
"Ah, yeah." She said looking away.
Through the mirror he watched her as she looked away and smiled to himself.
"Eugene w-was asking about your run tomorrow with Daryl."
"He doesn't want to go does he?" Rick asked suddenly annoyed.
"I doubt it. He wanted me to tell you to make sure you see him before you leave." She turned to bolt out of the room.
"Hey, have you talked to Carl yet this morning?"
"Not this morning, but I talked to him yesterday, why?"
"I was wondering if we could all have dinner together tonight."
"Okay, I'll make sure he's here. Any special reason?"
"No, but we haven't done it lately and I miss our conversations."
Michonne nodded and just as she started to leave, Rick had finished shaving and walked past her to go into the bedroom. He passed by so closely she had to stop to let him through the doorway, and his damp bare belly brushed against her arm. Her hand wanted to yank his towel off. She smiled to herself finally seeing what this was. He had seen her right after a shower, and was simply giving back. She grabbed a hand full of his towel and yanked it off, and quickly ducked out the door and closed it behind her, but not before getting a halfway decent peek.
"Now we're even Grimes." She said from the other side of the door.
She heard him laugh, and she smiled still holding the towel in her hand. Not bad, she thought to herself, then just as quickly had another thought. What game were they playing? Was he interested or just teasing her?
Rick started getting dressed and wondered if the fun he was having with her was going anywhere. He wanted it to, but what did she want?
She tossed the souvenir towel into her hamper and went out on the porch. She leaned on the rail and took a deep breath. She could hear Deanna's voice clearly asking her what she wanted. Finally, she knew and answered that question out loud. "I want a man of my own. I want him." Then open your heart and be ready, because he is. Now is your time to get what you want for your whole life. Michonne smiled thinking of her friend. "Thanks Deanna."
The next morning she got up and took a shower before anyone else woke up. She was about to get dressed when she heard Judith.
"Good morning baby girl. Did you sleep well?" Judith cooed and reached for Michonne. She got her ready because Rick would be taking her to Carol before he left for their run. Michonne had watch duty, but that was not until later. She walked by Rick's room carrying Judith. His door was open and he was carving a hole in his belt with a knife.
"Good morning. You can bring her in here." He walked over to Michonne and took Judith. He kissed her head and put her on the floor.
Carl was in his room practicing throwing and catching a tennis ball off the wall in his room as his physical therapy, Judith was playing on the floor, and Rick was preparing to go out on a run. She loved her family. Michonne called out to Carl to see if he had toothpaste seeing that his father didn't, and neither did Carl. It was time for another bandage change and she looked at Rick and knew she had the same look on her face that he had. They were proud of Carl.
Rick picked up Judith and started out the door. He and Michonne lightly brushed hands as she told him her request for toothpaste while on his run.
She went to her room to get dressed and suddenly felt like a weight was on her. Something's gotta give quick. She thought to herself. Making first moves was not how she wanted this to begin. He would have to step up to the edge first, she would join him, take his hand, and then they would jump, together.
As Rick walked with Judith to Carol's, he wonder just how long his self-control could last. They keep dancing around each other, to the same tune, just not in the same room. He'll start with getting her some toothpaste, maybe then she'll be so happy about it and think he's the greatest thing since slice bread and throw her arms around him and kiss him, then he could take it from there. He had to laugh to himself as he pulled up to pick up Daryl. That was stupid, he thought, and not like Michonne at all.
Michonne stood on the watch tower and was anxious to see Rick again. They had grown closer in the last couple months than they had in the nine months prior. He made her laugh and she loved the shyness he tried to hide when he was with her, but more than that, he was the answer to her question, but he will never know that unless he moves first.
With the events of the day at a close, Michonne had put Judith to bed and heard Rick come in the house. She grabbed the baby monitor and went downstairs. From the bottom of the stairs all she could see of Rick was his outstretched arm from where he reclined on the couch. She bumped his arm with her leg and he opened his eyes and sat up and made room for her. What a great end of the day, he thought. He was home with his family again. He took his boots off and stretched his legs out like she had across the coffee table, and this was pretty much how they ended every day.
He felt bad not being able to bring her toothpaste, but handed her the roll of mints he grabbed out of the vending machine they found on their run. She smiled which made him smile. This would be a great time, she thought, and then before she knew it, they were holding hands, and he was looking into her eyes with eyes that smiled at her. He made the move she was waiting for. He leaned toward her, reached up to touch her face with his hand, and then he kissed her, gently but with a sense of urgency he could barely control because she was the one. He pulled back from the kiss and looked into her eyes and she in his. Their smiling eyes satisfied the question they both had regarding their mutual interest in a relationship. A resounding 'oh yeah' nearly escaped from Michonne's mouth just before he reclaimed her lips. As their thoughts transitioned into indescribable pleasure, Michonne thought to herself, he may have had a day, but they were both going to have an incredible night.