CHAPTER 1: Donna
SPRING, 1980 -- NEVADA DESERT
Donna sat, drumming unpolished fingernails on the all-too-familiar counter top. Her eyes scrutinized the room for the ten millionth time, stopping at the same clock, 6:27 pm, the lime green and orange walls, the register. She took in a deep, exasperated breath. The clattering and clinking of silverware and the murmuring, droning voices slipped through the intertwining of her sunburned brown hair and into her ears. 6:29.
'What is taking so long?' she thought.
The second hand of the clock slowly traced the radius with a slow paced turn. Donna stood and got into her bag, searching for lipstick, anything, to write a note on a nearby napkin with. She then remembered that she'd thrown out all of her lipstick after finding out about the animal testing that the manufacturers did. Again, she was hopeless.
Finally, Casey appeared through the smoke and steam of the kitchen. He ran a bothered and anxious hand through his feathered, dark hair, then over his stubble, before checking his misbuttoned shirt.
"Ready?" Casey's fingers rebuttoned his purple shirt easefully. Donna understood his nervous behavior when Hailey, Casey's sluttish coworker immerged from the same place Casey had just vacated. Casey and Hailey shared a brief look, and an almost unnoticeable wink. Donna saw it, but pretended that she hadn't. It wasn't as if she and Casey had a closed relationship. However, she couldn't help but feel the blood rush to her cheeks in a jealous insecurity. She smiled and tried to shrug it off.
"I was ready half an hour ago," she said through her teeth, still all smiles. Casey smiled sweetly and leaned down for a kiss. Donna could taste the betrayal on his lips, and it came in cherry flavored lip-gloss. Donna pushed him away from her and she left the clamoring dishes to the peace of the desert outside.
Donna couldn't help but reflect on how she even got here, in the desert with Casey Kelso. It had been such a fluke thing. When Eric came back from Africa, she was sure they had passed the test…they were really ready to conquer it all. And then, as soon as he had returned, he left again. What was it about her that he just couldn't seem to stay for?
Randy knew he could never take Eric's place, and although he was prepared to try anyway, Donna couldn't ask him to do so. With Fez and Jackie settling into a new relationship, Hyde distracted by the record store and his divorce finalizing, Donna was alone; More alone than she had ever been.
Enter Casey Kelso. Donna was the one that to seek him out. She found him packing the Trans Am for a move to the desert. She made the most rash and impromptu decision of her life when she went to his house with a single suitcase and a few letters from Eric to remember. She didn't even tell anyone. She didn't need to, since Jackie did. And she left.
At first it was hard…not knowing where they were going to sleep at night, not knowing if they would have the money for dinner, but she settled into this life nicely. It felt like home before too long, but it was starting to ware on her. Casey would be with her one night, with someone else the next. Maybe that's why she liked it…her heart was safe because she would never allow herself to love someone like she loved Eric, and she would never allow herself to love Casey again.
Unfortunately for her, she did.
The heat of the sun hit her like the sizzling water in a shower, it was all around her, and she was bathing in it. She took off her jacket to escape the warmth it trapped within. A breeze swept by just in time, blowing over her bronze shoulders and refreshing her for the drive she and Casey had ahead of them. She jogged, despite her dehydration, to Casey's dusty Trans Am and climbed inside. While rolling down her window, she reached for her canteen. Casey moseyed out of Ed's diner and stumbled to the van, drunk as hell. 6:40.
"The concert starts in 20 minutes," Donna expressed excitedly, "let's get going!"
Casey clumsily climbed into the driver's seat, and slipped the keys into the ignition. They still had miles of desert to go, and The Eagles concert wasn't going to wait for them. However, with the windows down, the radio blasting Jimi Hendrix, and a consistent speed of 90 miles per hour, they'd make it there in no time.
Donna cleared her mind and forgot about the hurt that was subdued inside of her due to Casey's need for other women, allowing her to let her right leg hang out of the window, and sang on the top of her lungs. She smiled at Casey. After five months, she was really starting to fall for him. He glanced over and smiled back, taking his tawny colored straw cowboy hat off and setting it on her head. Donna giggled and leaned over, kissing his cheek and resuming her previous position.
Donna stretched her arm out the window, caressing the wind, suddenly getting an urge to jump out and fly, so she leaned her whole top half of her body out and screamed loudly, hearing it echo back off of the reddish-brown canyons. Casey's hat caught the current of the air and propelled off of her head, looping and swishing through the wind before resting in the middle of the asphalt. Donna just laughed loudly, her eyes squinted to a point where she could barely see anything to protect them. Her glistening blonde hair whipped and snapped against the car and tapped on the curtained windows of the back seat. Casey pulled her in. Donna looked at him questioningly.
"I don't want you to get hurt," he said drunkenly. Donna smiled at his care for her, and obeyed his wishes by sitting back and listening to the deafening music. She looked out at the desert and watched its goldenness meet the brilliant, vivid blue sky. The sun was still high, this time of year the sun was up until around eight. The desert stretched on eternally, despite the magnificent canyons that pointed their uneven, jagged fingers towards the heavens. The sky had no limit, and not a cloud broke its never-ending pattern of blue. All Donna could think about was how she wanted to take this whole moment, this whole feeling of perfection, and bottle it up in a jar to keep in her memory. This was all she needed.
Casey glanced at her, his brown eyes piercing her from over his black, large framed sunglasses. His smile was wide and gleaming. Donna lost herself in his eyes again, until she saw him chomping on a piece of gum. Hailey's gum. Donna's massive smile faded to a weak one as she remember this, and put a small shield back up, but it was too late. She already lost her heart.
"Hey baby," he yelled over the music. "We're almost there! Are you excited?"
"Hell yeah!" Donna yelled back. Casey pulled her close and kissed the side of her head.
"I promised you we'd see 'em!-" his words trailed off as the car came to a slow halt. Donna scurried out quickly. The parking lot of the concert hall was deserted and only remnants of flyers and trash floated around in small tornadoes at Donna's feet. Donna stared at this blank nothingness. No screaming fans were camping out. No groupies were applying their makeup. The parking lot was a canvass of nothing, just like Donna felt.
"Donna-" Casey began. Donna picked up a flyer that was rubbing against her like a cat that was desperate for someone, anyone, to pet it. Her eyes scanned the flyer.
June 1, 1980 EAGLES, HEART & LITTLE RIVER BAND
GIANT'S STADIUM EAST RUTHERFORD NJ
"Today's the 2nd." Donna breathed. Casey joined her in front of the van.
"I swear, I thought it was today, I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry, I screwed up-"
"It's fine, Casey," Donna said coyly, her back to him. She forced a smile and turned to him, "it's fine." Casey gave her a light kiss on the forehead.
"Come on. Let's get out of here."
Donna didn't bother turning on the radio this time. She wasn't in the mood to listen to it, especially since it was probably going to start replaying The Eagles just to taunt her. The sky was folding into a darker blue, with hues of dark purple meeting in the distance. Smoke burned its way up into the atmosphere.
Surprisingly, she missed Jackie's incessant whining and Fez peeking in at her when she was in her room. She missed Hyde, he was one of the only people that really understood her. She missed Kelso. Mostly…she missed Eric. When she rang home the week before, Bob had told her that she had received a postcard from him. She didn't even ask what it said. She didn't have the energy to know.
"Looks like a party over at Burke's. Want to stop by and hang out?" Casey suggested. Donna said nothing, staring out into the dark canyons that now resembled giant shadows under the blue diamond blanket of stars. Casey turned into the driveway of a tin can looking trailer. Before she could say a word, Casey was already out and walking up.
The crickets serenaded her thoughts as she sighed and climbed out, heading out back to see Casey. He led her to the bonfire alone, and Donna sat on the hollow log nearby. He handed her a beer, and Donna opened it quickly, still thirsty even though the sun had set almost an hour ago. Disappointment still lurked inside of her body, but wouldn't dare show on her face. She glanced up at Casey, who stared uneasily, hypnotized by the fire.
"What's the matter?" Donna started to rise. Casey flinched.
"No-no. You should sit," Casey said quickly. Donna felt a slight fear develop inside of her.
"There's something I need to tell you, Casey." Donna's nerves were jangling. Casey looked a little scared as well.
"No, I need to tell you something first-"
"No, please Casey. Don't make this hard for me…" Donna's eyes looked into Casey's. "I love you," she whispered. Casey began to speak, but Donna cut him off. "I-I know you may not feel the same, and that's okay, but-"
"Donna, I love you too," Casey began. Donna smiled larger. "But I'm seeing someone else, and I love her too…and I think want to be with her." Donna choked, and suddenly couldn't breathe, but she didn't let Casey see this. She just smiled and nodded, laughing a little bit.
"Oh. Well, okay." Donna cleared her throat. "Who is she? Never mind, I don't want to know. No, I do want to know. Who is she?" Donna rambled, but she knew the answer.
"Hailey." They said in unison.
"Why the concert then?" Donna asked as calmly as possible. Casey was automatically on defense.
"I was taking you to the concert as a goodbye. I was going to give you the time of your life before I was going to break the news." He stopped, staring at her sadly. "I don't know what else to say." Donna shrugged as if she didn't care, although she was dying inside.
"I'm sure you and Hailey are going to be really happy." Donna added.
"I don't know what you want from me. I love you, and I'm sorry."
"If you loved me, you'd be making a life with me, not with that slut Hailey." Donna's voice cracked.
"I am so sick of all this shit!"
"What shit?!"
"All of this hurt. I am so sick of hurting you and I can't do it anymore. Every time I see this sadness in your eyes," he paused, brushing her hair from her face, "it kills me."
"Then why are you leaving me?" Donna's throat hurt from the lump deep down in it. She wouldn't cry. She couldn't. Donna HAD to make Casey love her, because if she didn't, she'd have to admit she still did and would always love Eric.
"Because you can do so much better for yourself. I'm a real flake. I'm not good for you. You know that." Casey said soberly. "Plus, you don't love me. Not really. Not like you loved Er-"
"Don't even say his name!" Donna shouted. Casey leaned to kiss Donna's lips, but she turned her head the opposite direction.
The single thing to shatter the silence was the popping and crackling of the roaring flames in the bonfire. Donna shifted her weight on the log away from Casey. "Just leave me alone. No, take me home." Donna gazed down crossly, gently rolling the sand on the desert floor with her bare foot. "You've said all I need to hear. I have nothing left to say to you." Her eyes were welled up to their very limit in tears; something Donna by no means did for anybody. Hesitantly, her eyes crept to Casey's face. She couldn't do it again. With every morsel of internal strength she had, she rose and walked shakily out from the stare of Casey's stale brown eyes.
A/N:
The next chapters will reflect on solely each character, but soon they will intertwine. The pairings are not yet decided.
XOXOJACKIEXOXO