Disclamier: My story is based off of The 1979 film, "The Warriors". I do not own the movie or the 1965 novel it was adapted from. I also don't own Ed Edd'n Eddy or any other cartoon and movie characters that I'm using in the story.
A/N: This is my reimagining of the 1979 cult classic movie, The Warriors. The parody is also an inspiration from the Family Guy Star Wars Triology aka "Laugh It Up, Fuzzball: The Family Guy Trilogy". This story will cross over with many other cartoon shows.
Characters who are appearing in this chapter:
Nelson from The Simpsons, who is portraying Luther of The Rogues, along with his friends Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph.
J. Dynamite, also credited as Jimmy(Not Jimmy from Ed Edd'n Eddy). Jimmy is Black Dynamite's brother from the Blaxploitation spoof movie "Black Dynamite" which is also an animated series. He is portraying Cyrus of The Riffs. I came up with the nickname J. Dynamite so there wouldn't be any confusion conflict between him and the other Jimmy from Ed Edd'n Eddy.
Narrator's opening prologue:
Over two millenniums ago, an army of Greek Soldiers found themselves isolated in the middle of The Persian Empire. One thousand miles from safety. One thousand miles from the sea. One thousand miles with enemies on all sides. Theirs was a story of a desperate forced march. Theirs was a story of courage. This too is a story of courage.
It was around midnight and the peach creek crew gathered together at the junkyard for a meeting held by Eddy's Brother. Most of the boys aged a few years ever since they formed the gang, but they still managed to look younger than their age. They all were wearing Warrior vests. Kevin, who was wearing a black wife beater, was the only member wearing a shirt under his vest and also had black fingerless gloves on his hands. Everyone else kept the same pants and shoes they always wore, as well as the same hats coming from Eddy's Brother, Double D and Kevin.
The Warriors consisted of Eddy's Brother, Ed, Double D, Eddy, Kevin, Rolf, Jimmy and Johnny. Everyone was listening to their leader in front of them as the Ed trio were sitting on top of the hood of a dismantled car followed by Kevin and Rolf leaning against it. Then finally, in front of them, it was Jimmy and Johnny sitting cross-legged on the floor like kindergarten kids listening to a children's story.
"So the truce is still happening and I've decided that we're all going." said Eddy's Brother.
Everyone, except for Double D, cheered in response of the statement as if they saw their own high school school football team score a touchdown.
"Oh dear." Double D said as he looked down.
"Hey, lighten up sockhead." Eddy said as he gave Double D a slight shove with his elbow towards his arm. "This truce could be our ticket to scoring the moolah. Not to mention...sweet...sweet Jawbreakers." Eddy said turning his head the opposite way with a drooling mouth as he entered a daydreaming state.
"Alright pipsqueak, lets not get too excited over this." Responding to his younger brother's excitement. "Double D has a good point, every gang in this city going to be there, so we need to be very cautious about this."
"Now that I think about this, it does sound scary. What if something goes wrong?" Jimmy said nervously.
"We'll start kicking some ass, that's what." said Kevin.
"Hopefully, it doesn't have to come to that. In the meantime, just stick close by the others Kevin and don't go do anything crazy. That goes for all of you as well. We want this meeting to go peaceful if we want a better chance to make it out alive." said Eddy's Brother.
"Yes! Peace is great for everyone! When you stub your toe, and it hurts you know friends are there to help you! When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced friends are there to..." Jimmy's singing soon came to a end once Eddy grabbed hold of his brace ring, pulled it back and released until the impact of the brace hit Jimmy in the face making it seem like some sort of rubber band had just slapped him.
"Knock it off Curlylocks, we're not going to a dam hippie convention!" Eddy said.
"Ha...I wish. I wouldn't mind getting some action from a hot hippie chick on the way back home." said Kevin. Johnny began to chuckle at Kevin's comment.
"What are you laughing at quirky?" asked Kevin.
"Plank says you couldn't get first base with a girl even if you tried chasing her with that baseball gang." The joke made everyone laugh, surprisingly even Kevin.
"Haha...that..that was actually pretty clever, I'm not going to lie." Kevin said after a chuckle.
Eddy's brother begins to check his watch.
"Alright guys, the train should be here in any minute. Now remember, J. Dynamite doesn't want anybody packed with weapons or starting trouble. So I gave him my word that The Warriors would come in peace. Now everybody claims that J. Dynamite is truly the one. The only way for us is to believe that is to find out for ourselves."
The gang leaves. Everyone enters the subway train.
*Theme from The Warriors By Barry De Vorzon begins to play in the background as the subway train takes off*
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Eddy's Brother and Rolf*
"Brother of Ed-Boy, are you sure this is wise? The Warriors and the son of a Shepherd fear that we may become outcasts to the villagers of the Bronx." asked Rolf.
"Don't sweat it Rolf, this conclave is going to be a real big item, every gang in this city is going to be there." said Eddy's Brother.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Kevin and Johnny*
"This whole thing is bullshit. I mean we're literally going in there with nothing!" said Kevin
"We're going in there like everybody else. A limit up to eight guys with no weapons." said Johnny.
"Don't you think the other gang might suspect your wooden friend there as a weapon?"
"And you decided to bring up my penis because...?" Kevin had no response, but instead, he left Johnny with a blank expression on his face.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Eddy's Brother and Jimmy*
"You got the stuff?" asked Eddy's Brother. With a smile on his face, the fluffy haired kid pulls out a spray can. Unfortunately it wasn't the one the Warlord was expecting.
"Uhh...Jimmy, that's a Disinfectant Spray."
"Hey, the gangs might be able to leave their weapons and not kill us, but they can bring viruses without anyone knowing." said Jimmy. Double D suddenly appears out of nowhere next to Jimmy.
"Jimmy's right. After all, hygiene is very important these days." Double said pointing his right index finger up in a parenting way.
Eddy's Brother could only grunt and roll his eyes upward after listening to them.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Ed and Eddy*
It is shown that Ed and Eddy is wearing a wolf costume struggling to walk without going off balance as they try to reach the subway train. Half of Eddy's face is shown through the mouth of the mask while Ed was carrying him from the bottom to disguise themselves as a taller individual.
"This was a great idea Eddy! You never know what you're going to run into out there. If we're wearing our colors, we can't hide from those big meanies."said Ed.
"Who wants to hide?" asked Eddy.
Eddy's eyes suddenly became wide and the two boys came to a sudden halt when they heard a familiar voice yelling at them.
"EDDY! STOP GOING INTO MY DAM ROOM AND STEALING MY MASCOT COSTUME TO HIDE FROM OTHER GANGS!" yelled Eddy's Brother.
"Shit." said Eddy.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Kevin and Eddy's Brother*
"Maybe we'll get to waste a few heads along the way." said Kevin.
"You just worry about scoring me girls phone numbers and keep your mouth shut." Eddy's Brother responded.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Rolf and Double D.*
"Double D Ed-boy, when we arrive there from our Journey, you stick close by Rolf, understood?" asked Rolf.
"Don't worry, I don't feel like getting wrecked." said Double D.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Kevin and Eddy.*
"One thing we might get out of J. Dynamite's little get together is meeting some strange wool. I wouldn't mind nailing a little something down on the way back." said Kevin.
After a while, Eddy remained silent for about five seconds until he made a response.
"And you wonder why my brother never makes you Warchief." said Eddy.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Johnny and Ed.*
"What do you know about J. Dynamite?" asked Johnny.
"Gravy...whole lot of gravy." said Ed with his eyes half way opened while staring into space.
*The close up of a passing train switches to a scene of Johnny and Double D*
"What do you know about J. Dynamite?" asked Johnny
"He's the one and only of course, and...he sounds like a very swell fellow I must say." said Double D.
*The close up of a passing train switches to Ed and Kevin*
"When you're president of the biggest gang in the city, you don't have to any shit from your parents. You get to stay up late, watch more zombies movies, eat junk food and all sorts of other fun stuff!" said Ed.
"I thought you told me you didn't live with your parents anymore" said Kevin.
"Oh...you're right. Ahaha, I forget."
*The close up of a passing train switches to Kevin and Eddy*
"I'll tell you something, I'll bet nobody's even going to be there." Kevin claimed.
"I bet you they will." Eddy said encouraging Kevin to challenge on the bet.
"HA...you're on!"
*The theme song ends and the moving train's point of view fades to a scene of The Warriors already at the park where the meeting is held.*
"FUCK!" Kevin yelled.
"Hahahaha, pay up shovel chin!"
"Errr...stupidfuckingmoneyhustlingdork" Kevin mumbling under his breath as he quickly takes out cash from his pocket and hands it over to Eddy.
J. Dynamite is seen in the middle of a park climbing up a ladder, stands on a platform and begins to speak.
"CAN YOU COUNT SUCKAS? I'd say the future is ours! Look around you. No grudges, no fighting and no blood being wasted. That is what true power comes from. You're standing right next to six delegates from a hundred gangs and over a hundred more. Sixty thousand soldiers and only twenty thousand police in this town. What does that tell you?"
The crowd stares and starts talking at one another trying to figure out what he means.
"I'll tell you what it means. It means the streets is ours! This place is our home and as long as we stand against the corrupt that tries to put us down, we can open the gates towards many possibilities of power! No one can silence us, we will be unstoppable!" said J. Dynamite
The crowd begins to cheer with sounds of a baseball stadium. The scene slowly moves to a close up of a teenage boy with an evil smile staring at one of the members of The Warriors.
"Let us all open the gates and seize that power! CAN YOU DIG IT?" J. Dynamite yelled as he tries to fire up the crowd.
Crowd: "YEAH!"
J. Dynamite: "CAN YOU DIG IT?"
Crowd: "YEAH!"
J. Dynamite: "CAN YOOOOOOOOOOU DIIIIIIIIIG IT?"
Crowd: "YEAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Johnny was seen jumping with his fists in the air. Kevin, who was standing next to him, seemed rather bored and just rolled his eyes the other way. Ed was hugging Double D, Eddy and Jimmy tightly while swinging them back and forth at the same time. Eddy's brother was clapping while he had a satisfying look on his face.
The crowd was cheering their hearts out. It was like a celebration for them, a triumph for all gangs. The words that came out of J. Dynamite's mouth was like music to their ears. Suddenly, J. Dynamite's cellphone begins to ring. He picks it up and answers it.
"Yeah, hello?" asked J. Dynamite.
"Hey, listen, we appreciate everything you're trying to do for this city, but...uh, you're just not the same J. Dynamite we use to know, so we're going to have to let you go." said the Unknown caller.
"Huh? What are you talking about sucka? Who is this?"
"Your services are no longer needed in this community." said the Unknown Caller.
"Come on you jive turkey, what kind of rundown is this? Look man, I got to get back to the streets where I come from, sucka! "I'm going to tell your jive ass the same thing I told the other turkeys in my other action movie, I ain't NO snitch!"
"Who said you were? The Warriors sends their regards." said the Unknown Caller.
*BANG* A gunshot came about.
J. Dynamite was hit, the impact left him falling on the ground, just a few feet from the platform. Everyone was frozen. Suddenly time seemed to slow down. Most of the gangs, including The Warriors reacted with their eyes widened. The crowd screamed and panicked with an escape after witnessing the horror that they just saw.
No one seemed to noticed the gunman except for Johnny, who was in a state of shock. Johnny was standing on a short heighted stair bridge looking at the assassin in front of him and who was only a few feet below the bridge. The gunman was revealed to be Nelson and standing behind him, were his long time school associates, Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph. It wasn't long until the gunman made eye contact with Johnny. He greeted him with an evil smirk as he held the gun up and pointed it towards the innoncent boy. Before he got the chance to fire, Nelson received a sneak attack punch from his right cheek by the leader of the Warriors.
The other Warriors met up with Johnny and all of them jumped over the rail to meet up with their Warlord.
"RUN! Go to the other side!" Eddy's Brother shouted.
The Warriors obeyed and did as their Warlord commanded. Eddy's Brother walks to the opposite direction where the deceased J. Dynamite was laid on the ground with no sign of life.
"Man, who the hell would do something like this?" Eddy's Brother said to himself as he stared in grief.
"There he is! That's the bastard who took out J. Dynamite!" Nelson pointing his finger at the Warlord.
"Hey shut up, I didn't do anything you little fat shit!"
Jimbo rushes over next to Nelson.
"Yeah, that's the guy alright." said Jimbo, who was pointing towards Eddy's Brother as well.
"It's him! The Warriors shot J. Dynamite, somebody stop him!" Nelson yelled.
Nelson runs towards Eddy's Brother and attempted to tackle him. However, the leader managed to counter the attack by kneeing Nelson in the stomach followed by a snuff to the face. Afterwards, he then throws him into Jimbo causing them both to fall down.
Dolph with Kearney behind, proceeds to run after Eddy's brother, only Dolph was caught by a swinging punch from The Warlord's left fist. Kearney attempted a swinging punch of his own, but the Warlord managed to duck from it in time and countered with an uppercut from his right. Eddy's brother dominance came to end when he was hit over the head with a glass bottle by Lee of The Kanker Sisters falling down to the floor while seeing stars.
"You still haven't learn I see, don't worry...we'll make sure you will!" Lee said as she and the other Kankers were chuckling. The trio then decided to drag him away from the park and brought him to a unknown location.
"Oh no...NOT AGAIN!" yelled Eddy's Brother as he was recalling the past incident that happened when the Cul-de-sac kids were defending Eddy from his brother's madness, only in the end, it was the Kankers who cleaned up the mess. What happened to him that day, no one will ever know.
The park was now in total chaos as the police raided the entire place. The Warriors didn't hesitate to stay around any longer, knowing the police could bust at them anytime or even worse, become more victims of other gangs who will stop at nothing. As The Warriors ran passed an entire crowd, they came to a halt for a bit once they noticed a wooden fence blocking their path. Kevin was quickly kicking and punching through the fence breaking it half way through. However, Ed finished the job when he suddenly came out of nowhere and used his head as a metal like object to break through the fence finally giving them a quick route to escape.
A/N: So this is my attempt at a full fledged fan fiction story I am starting for the first time. I use to write stories back in 2005, but they were mostly just parodies with no thought put into it. I had less experience back then lol. This is a parody and adventure combining one of my favorite cartoons and movies. I had always imagine about this idea for quite a while and now I'm bringing it into a story.
Leave a review and tell me what you think. I don't mind criticisms if it's necessary to help me with this, I guess. xD.