Your Turn To Wait
A/N; Just little one shot that came to me while listening to a song by The Calling. This one is about the love Olivia and Fitz share that lives beyond time and space. Tell me what you think. Happy Father's Day to all you dads and also you moms as well who pull double duty as a single parent.
I don't own Scandal, that honor belongs to Shonda Rhimes.
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"Liv honey it's almost time for me go."
"I know my love." She caresses his leg and as she sits at his feet. She's fighting hard to hold back her tears.
"You know I love you more than anything; more than life itself." He says with so much love and conviction his words almost physically manifest in the still quiet of their bedroom.
The bedroom they have shared for more than 30 years.
"I know my love."
Fitz and Olivia are sitting in front of the floor to ceiling window in their bedroom. The window overlooks the orchards of their Vermont estate. Everything outside is covered with a light dusting of snow. Winter came early this year. He is sitting in a wing-back chair wrapped snuggly in a thermal blanket, Olivia's head on his lap. He runs his fingers through her silken strands. It relaxes him so.
"I'll go get the kids so they say goodbye."
"Okay."
"Liv, do you really know how much I love you?" His heart aches at the thought of leaving her. He wants her to know with every fiber her being the boundless everlasting love he has for her. Words are inadequate now. He doubts there are words that even exist to convey the depth of his love for her and it saddens him. Olivia is his wife, his soul mate, his reason for being, his blessing of unparalleled riches.
"Yes I do. Do you know I love you even more?"
"Not possible!" He smirks and winks.
"Please, who had to wait? And mind you, we are not talkin' a couple years mister."
"You have point, but now who has to wait?"
"Love of my life, your wait won't be nearly as long. You know I can't sleep or breathe without you."
"It's just another trip my heart, a short one at that. Better go get the kids." He says with a deep sigh.
"Okay, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere!" Olivia stands and turns to stroke his scruffy cheek before leaving.
He grabs her hand. "Wait! One minute?"
"One minute", she smiles.
/
Breaking news! Former President Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III passed away today of natural causes at the age of 90 surrounded by his family. He is survived by his wife of 32 yrs Olivia Pope-Grant and six children. Funeral arrangements are pending. During his term as President, President Grant passed landmark immigration legislation, brokered peace treaties in the war torn Middle East, eliminated deficit spending and balanced the Federal budget for the first time in history. President Grant survived an assassination attempt, admissions of infidelity and accusations of widespread cover-ups. President Grant weathered two tumultuous terms in office, but he is still considered one of the greatest presidents of our time.
/
"Mom, are you okay? Do you want any help choosing a suit or anything?"
"No, I'm fine. Your dad already picked out what he wanted to be buried in." She went to the closet and pulled out his vintage blue pinstripe. Fitz always looked so handsome and distinguished in that suit. She paired it with the blue and red stripped tie and of course the Eisenhower flag pin.
Five Years Later
"How long has she been behaving like this?" Gerry asks.
"Maybe a couple of months or more, Isabella responds reservedly, uncertain of the timeframe.
"And this is the first I'm hearing about it. What the hell you guys! Why didn't you call me sooner?" Gerry is pissed.
"Tell you what? Mom is acting strange; that she all of sudden missing dad. In fact, she misses dad so much that she started talking to him as if he were standing right in front of her. That she makes him breakfast, lunch and dinner every day."
"Ugh, yeah." Gerry retorts sarcastically.
"We thought it was just a phase because it started around the anniversary of his death. Mom was fine up until then. It's like the behavior change happened overnight or something. None us here understands what is going on with her. "The strange thing is we've all been at the house when she's talking to him and we can smell his cologne."
"Oh Jesus, just stop it. She probably has a bottle of his cologne hidden in the house somewhere. Didn't she spray the bed sheets for months after he died?"
"Yes she did back then, but not now. No, we've searched the house from top to bottom and there's nothing here. The scent is subtle, faint, and not strong, as if he suddenly left the room." Karen recalls the eerie details.
"Did any of you think to ask her about it? Has anyone said, hey mom what's going on with you?"
"Of course we have Gerry we're not idiots! She said she never purchased another bottle of cologne once the last bottle she used for the sheets was used up. Mom is adamant that nothing is going on. Frankly, she's a little ticked off at us for prying into her home life."
"It's a little spooky. Mia and I were here last week and we could have sworn we heard dad talking to mom. When we entered the kitchen mom was at the stove cooking breakfast and the table was set for two. I asked about the second place setting but she just looked at me and smiled."
"Wait, she never answered you?"
"Nope. She changed the subject and asked me and Mia if we wanted breakfast."
"Okay, what did she say that was so damn urgent I had to drop everything and fly home?"
Karen with tears in her eyes, she said dad was coming for her soon.
"What?"
"Yes, she said he was coming for her soon and she needed to get things in order." Isabella echoed.
"Oh my God, what are we going to do?"
"Mom met with her attorney yesterday to go over the estate." Sammy pipes in.
"What? Larry didn't call me!" Gerry is incensed.
"We figured as much. She's been tight-lipped about a lot of her activities of late. We're really scared Gerry." Teddy reluctantly contributes.
"Have you called her doctor? Do you think we need to have her evaluated? Are you sure nothing has happened recently to trigger this behavior?"
"No, nothing. Don't you think we've been trying to pinpoint something! Nothing has happened!"
"The doctor thinks at minimum it may be some mild form of depression or worst case scenario the unset if dementia." Mia comments sadly.
"Grammy started playing grandpa's song a lot," a small gentle voice offers.
"Well I think we need to have her thoroughly evaluated!"
"Evaluated for what, missing dad!"
"Everyone started shouting their opinion. Little Megan repeated her observation in her sweet ten year old voice."
"Grammy plays grandpa's special song every day."
"Wait ..what?" Mia asks her daughter.
"Ever since the letter came, Grammy has been playing grandpa's song every chance she gets." Megan whispers to her mom as she clings to her side, afraid she's betrayed Olivia's confidence.
"What.., what letter?" Gerry probes.
"The letter she keeps in her Bible."
"Megan, can you go get Grammy's Bible for me honey?"
"Sure mama." Megan races upstairs, stands on her tippy toes and pulls down the worn leather Bible down from the bookshelf in the library. She tucks the family heirloom under her arm and runs back downstairs to her anxious relatives.
"Here you go mama. I think the letter is in the middle."
"Thank you sweet pea. Why don't you go play with your cousins outside?"
Mia examines the weathered letter. "No wonder the Postal Service doesn't exist anymore, look at the postmark on the letter it's 34 years old."
Mia opens the letter and reads aloud to her siblings.
/
My dearest Livvie,
I know I don't have the right to ask for your forgiveness, but nonetheless I am asking. Please forgive me. My words to you recent have been nothing short of cruel. My behavior vicious, vile, heartless and vulgar. I deserve nothing less than your disdain but all I want from you is your love.
I ask myself every day, how could I have said such callous things to you. You, the love of my life. You who without knowing it breathed life into my dead soul. I have acted liked a spoiled child. Believe me I truly regret never affording you the opportunity to explain about Defiance. My blind rage over Verna's admissions kept me from hearing your sweet voice. I recklessly let everything we meant to each other slip away in a moment of anger and disappointment. How small of me to take our love for granted. I am an unworthy bastard destined for emotional oblivion because of my rush to judgment and stubborn pride.
My sweet baby, if only I could reverse time, erase my stupid mistakes and take back every single word spoken in hate I would. Since I can't do that, what I will do is lay prostate before you and beg for your forgiveness. Please forgive me. I am nothing without you. I can't go on without you. I am lost without you.
I live in fear every single day. Fear that I will never see you again. Fear that you loath my very existence. Fear that you hate me with the intensity ten thousand suns. Fear that I have hurt you so badly that you will never be able to love or trust anyone again. This is my greatest fear Livvie, that I have ruined your belief in love.
You are love personified my heart. And you deserve wondrous, earth-shattering, life-changing, mind-blowing, endless love. You are my soul mate Olivia Carolyn Pope. Neither of us will be a complete person without the other.
Love allows for forgiveness and our love is no exception. Forgive me my love. Forgive me completer of my soul. Forgive me holder of my heart. Forgive me my reason for existing. Forgive me my sweet, sweet baby.
I came across this song the other day. Livvie, it captures my feelings about you and I hope your feelings toward me as well.
Forgive me Livvie.
Forever and always,
Fitz
Anytime
I can't remember, why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now more and more, I wonder where you are
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
I miss you
Still have your picture in a frame
Hear your footsteps down the hall
I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane
How I wish that you would call to say
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
(No more)
Loneliness and heartache
(No more)
Crying myself to sleep
(No more)
Wondering about tomorrow
Won't you come back to me, come back to me?
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me?
Do I ever cross your mind, any time?
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
(Anytime by Brian McKnight)
/
Mia refolded the letter and placed it back in the envelope. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She raised he head only to be greeted by more tear-stained faces.
"This must have been written during the dark time mom and dad used to talk about."
"Where has this letter been for over 30 years?"
"Damn Postal Service!"
"Wait, is this the song Megan said mom has been playing every day?"
"I don't know maybe. I can ask her."
"No, let's look at the music player, it is more than likely already set to play whatever song she's be listening to everyday."
The tranquil sounds of a strumming guitar fill the room, followed by familiar lyrics. Hey isn't this the song mom played at the funeral?
/
So lately, been wondering If I could, then I would, And maybe, I'll find out Run away with my heart I know now, just quite how
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine, I'll go wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go
(Wherever you will go by The Calling)
"Do you really think mom is expecting dad to come back for her?"
"Hi grandma", the children in the yard chimed in unison as Olivia made her way around to backyard.
"Hello my precious angels. Come give grandma a great big hug." She stretched her arms out inviting the loving embrace of her grandchildren. Michael and Mina, the twins, reached her first, then Megan, Fitz V and Olivia II. She squeezed the little ones with all the love within her.
"Grandma, why are you crying, Fitz V asked?"
"Oh my sweet boy, these are happy tears. I am so glad to see all of you."
"Grandma you see us all the time."
"Well, it is never enough to my liking."
"Mom's back. Sammy go put the Bible back in the library."
"Where in the library?"
"On one of the shelves genius."
"Cute, which shelf?"
"I don't know just pick one. Hurry up!"
Olivia slides open the sliding glass door and enters the kitchen where her children have gathered.
"Well, well, the clan is all here. So, what do I owe this unexpected surprise visit to?"
"Hi ma," Gerry says as he gives her a hug.
"Gerry I thought you were in the middle of a big case in New York. Why are you here? What nonsense have you brothers and sisters been filling your head with?"
"No nonsense mom. We're all a little worried about you. You have been acting strange lately and we're concerned."
"Hogwash! I am fine. There is nothing to worry about."
"If that's true, why are getting you affairs in order?" Teddy asks.
"Why not get my affairs in order? Those who fail to plan, plan to fail. I have not updated any of my legal documents since your father passed away. I feel it prudent to address this oversight. Why is me being proactive a problem? Have you all forgotten I'm the mother here? I am not child. Tomorrow is not promised. What I am doing is perfectly practical and logical." Olivia belts out pointedly.
"Okay, what about setting a place for dad at the table or telling Isabel and Mia dad is coming for you soon? Why are playing his funeral music every day. You don't find these actions a bit strange?" Gerry pushed.
Olivia scanned the frightened faces of her children. Her heart was torn between trying to allay their concerns and preparing them for her approaching departure. Fitz was coming for her and she for damn sure was going to be ready when the time came. She smiled at Gerry and without saying a word left the kitchen and went upstairs to her bedroom.
"You see what we're talking about? Ask her a question she's not inclined to answer and she just dismisses you out of hand without a word." Karen squawks.
"What the hell just happened," Gerry snarls? "Mia call the doctor and set up an appointment ASAP. Isabel and Sam start dinner. I'll go check on her."
Gerry bolts up the stairs taking the steps three at a time. He raises his hand to knock on Olivia's bedroom the door but freezes when he hears a male voice talking to his mother.
Olivia stands in front of her bathroom mirror; her eyes are red from crying. She splashes cold water on her face to freshen her tired features. She uses a towel to dry her face and when she opens eyes and looks in the mirror she sees Fitz smiling back at her.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Fitz, I can't tell them everything. They already think I'm losing it."
"No they don't Livvie. Our children are scared they are about to lose their only surviving parent. It's natural for them to pull out all the stops in hopes of preventing the inevitable."
"You're right. I should be enjoying my remaining moments. I have had a wonderful life. We have had a wonderful life. We've been blessed with a house full of children and grandchildren. It is all I ever dreamed of and more. Thank you my love."
"For what?"
"For never giving up on us. For having a vision of our life together. For dragging me kicking and screaming into this life of abundant blessings. For keeping your promise to be with me always and forever."
"Mom is someone in there with you? I thought I heard another voice."
"Did you need something Gerry? I'm exhausted. I think I'll take a nap before dinner.
"Okay mom. You take it easy. I'll send one of kids up when dinner is ready."
"Thank you sweetheart." Olivia walks over to her bed, grabs the pillow from Fitz's side, curls up into a ball and falls into a deep slumber.
Gerry enters the kitchen, his face ashen.
Karen approaches him. "What's wrong? You look as though you've seen a ghost."
"I didn't see one but I think I heard one."
Mia drops the glass in her hand.
"Mi, you okay," Karen asks.
"Yes…no…yes. Yeah, I'm fine", Mia mumbles.
"No you are not, what is it?"
"See now he's heard him too, just like we did. I think mom may be telling the truth. I think dad is coming back for her. A hush takes over the room.
"Mom is everything okay?" Megan asks breaking the silence.
"Yes honey, why do you ask?"
"You all seem sad."
"We are fine baby. Can you go get your cousins and wash up, dinner is ready. Oh, and Megan after you wash up can you go wake up grandma. She's taking a nap."
"Sure mama." Megan happily skips outside to corral her cousins.
Everyone is seated at the dining room table when Megan comes downstairs with tears in her eyes.
"Megan what's wrong baby?"
"It's grandma she won't wake up. I shook her and everything but she won't wake up."
"Megan can you feed and watch your cousins?" Okay she responds meekly.
The Grant siblings run up to Olivia's bedroom. Olivia is sitting propped up with her back against the headboard of her bed with a legal size manila envelope on her lap. Karen and Isabel try to revive her using CPR. Sammy call 911, they shout. Mia, Gerry and Teddy hang on to one another praying. Five minutes later the paramedics arrive. They check her vitals and record the time of death.
"Wait, why aren't you doing something? Why aren't you trying to bring her back?"
"We're sorry ma'am. There is a DNR on file at the station on Mrs. Grant."
"What? What are you talking about? You need to try to save our mother. You have to do something." They all scream.
"We're sorry. There's nothing we can do. She knew her heart could give out at any moment. I was there when she came in to file the paperwork. She wanted to spare you the trauma of having to see her on life support and eventually the decision to take her off life support."
"We have to transport the body to the hospital to file the official cause of death. Once you make arrangements you can have the body picked up from there." Gerry shook the paramedics hand and went to join his siblings by his parent's bed. He picks up the envelope.
"Whose watching the children?"
"Sammy called the housekeeper up from the guest quarters'
"What's in the envelope", Karen asked.
"Letters to each of us and each of the grandchildren. Instructions for her funeral and her wedding rings."
Mia stared out the bedroom window overlooking the orchard. She began squinting her eyes and shaking her head. "No…, no…, no…, this can't be."
Isabel came to comfort her. "I know honey. I can't believe she is gone either."
"No…, no…, not that…look. Isabel directs her attention to where Mia was pointing.
"Oh my God. Oh my God." The rest of the Grant children run to window.
"Do you see them?" Mia screams.
"No…no…no way. It's impossible."
But there in the flesh or spirit, before their eyes, standing at the entrance to the orchard are Fitz and Olivia holding hands, gazing into one another's eyes. They are not the octogenarian versions of themselves. They are young, beautiful and full of vitality.
Karen begins banging on the window yelling to her parents. Fitz and Olivia turn to the window, smile, wave to their legacies of love, hug one another and disappear in blinding flash of light.
The end.
/
A/N - I for one sincerely hope love is the eternal force that binds this crazy universe together. I hope we all at some point in our lives find a great love. A love that will survive beyond this all too short existence.