Angels Are Devious

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Supernatural or any of the characters.. Unfortunately.

"Dean! How many times must I tell you that it's a gay bar that you're going to? You aren't going to fit in dressed like.. that." Castiel threw his hands up in exasperation, appearing behind Dean in yet another one of his spontaneous acts. He gestured to the younger man's jeans and ACDC t-shirt.

"There is no freakin' way you're getting me to put on a pair of chick shorts and a hot pink t-shirt that will rub my nipples raw. No way Cas. Get Sam to do this for you." Dean gave Cas an irritated glare then continued, "And stop appearing out of thin air like that, it kind of creeps me out."

Cas frowned then stepped out of the small bathroom, "Here are your clothes." He threw a pair of black booty shorts and the hot pink t-shirt onto Dean's bed. "I expect to see you dressed in ten minutes."

******

"Let's go over this again. You're going to the bar to find a siren. You're going to pretend you're a young male stripper. Once you find the siren you need to do everything in your power to make sure he leaves the bar with you and not any other guy." Cas snickered then straightened out his vocal tone and coughed," Point blank, you need to kill the siren." Cas looked over towards Dean then shot him a glare, "Will you stop looking at your ass in the mirror?"

"Sorry Cas, I'm just preparing for later is all." Dean chuckled then gave his ass a squeeze, "Look at how firm it is!"

"You're hopeless sometimes.." Shaking his head, Cas let his voice trail off then raised his eyebrows in expectation. "Now, what are you doing tonight?"

"Getting laid." Dean smiled.

"This is not a joking matter!" Cas barked out final orders to Dean, watching the younger boy plaster on a serious face.

"Geesh. Fine, Siren. Got it. Don't get your panties in a knot." Dean sighed then played with his impala keys out of habit.

"I expect to hear good news from you tomorrow." Cas vanished as suddenly as he appeared, leaving an eerie silence behind him.

"Well this is just great." Dean paced around his small hotel room muttering, "Gay bar? Great. Now I get to have flaming faggots using pick up lines on me all night." He let out another sigh then opened the door, letting cool air rush into the room, "I better get pie after this."

******

The Impala's engines' purr came to a smooth stop as Dean opened his door and stood up, pulling his feminine shorts as far down his thighs as he could without them sliding down his waistline. The shorts had already started to inch their way up his body and his shirt slid up his stomach, revealing a perfectly toned body, every time he took another step. Dean eyed an 'alley cat' sign warily; it's dimly flickering lights casted awkward silhouettes around him.

"Here goes nothing." He slammed his 'baby's' door unintentionally, cursed, then slowly made his way toward the gay bar in his brand new attire. "I hate you Cas," he pulled open a think metal door and plastered on his 'gay face', readying himself for further eternal damnation.

"SURPRISE!!" Dean was plagued by streamers, disco lights, and a chorus of chuckles upon his entrance. Dozens of hunters and close friends surrounded him, amusement clearly bursting from their bodies.

"God damn.. CAS!!" Dean's face was red with embarrassment.

"I like your choice of attire dean. The pink really highlights your cheekbones." Cas snickered behind him, and a nearby Sam unsuccessfully stifled his hysteria.

"You.. You set me up?"

"Of course! Happy birthday kid!" with that Cas disappeared, leaving Dean to his brother who was now rolling around on the floor laughing.

"Just you wait Sammy."

Slowly his younger brother got off the floor and attempted to regain his composure. "There are a few guys and a pole in the back room waiting to give you your present, Dean. They seemed pretty anxious for you so I think you should hurry up." Sam looked at his brother and grinned, then turned his head and put on an immediate serious face.

"What?" Dean looked at his brother, small bits of worry flickering across his face.

"Do you really have a matching pink bow in your hair?!" He fell to the ground again, laughter consuming him.

"Sammy?" Dean's voice was even.

"Yes?" His brother was barely able to reply.

"Shut your pie hole."