A/N: This is an older fic that I wrote. I think I was like 15 or 16 at the time. It's a song fic to NSYNC's Incomplete. I thought I was swet at the time and just happened to think up a plot at the time. Anyway, yeah, I was going through some old file of my and I found it and thought "Hey, this seems good enough to post on . So, I did, and here it is. Hope you like. Please Review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or it's characters. Enough said.

Chapter 1

"He means so much to you, and you hurt him. What kind of lover are you?" Hiei laid in bed with his face buried in his pillow. It had been three weeks since Kurama told him that he no longer wanted to be with him. It broke Hiei's heart, but in a way, he knew it would never last; he was never meant to have that beautiful fox to begin with. "But you still love him so much... Why couldn't you just tell him how you felt? Are you that much of a coward?"

No matter how he looked at it, he still felt that it was his fault. He didn't blame Kurama for leaving him. Kurama deserved better. He deserved someone who could give him all the things that he couldn't. Kurama needed someone who wasn't afraid to admit their feelings to him, someone who devoted their love and life to him fully. That would never be him.

...

He was so lonely now that Hiei wasn't around; he wouldn't deny that he missed the youkai, that he still loved him... But how could he ever be happy with someone who never expressed his feelings to him?

Kurama sat in the park alone, watching the couples walk by, hand in hand, happily. One couple caught his attention. Two young boys, about his age, were sitting in the grass by the pond. They were holding hands and talking lightly to one another, ignoring the rest of the world; they were in their own special place. They spoke so lovingly to each other, with tender caresses and sweet kisses; they didn't care what anyone thought of them. They were in love and they intended to show the world.

Kurama sighed and stood from the bench; the park was too depressing. He decided to go home, where he could be alone and sort through his feelings.

"He means so much to you, and you left him. What kind of lover are you?" Kurama thought to himself as he walked along the path. "You weren't ever supposed to be happy in the first place, yet you were happy with him; it was your only chance and you blew it. It's your entire fault that Hiei's not here right now... You left him; you broke your promise and broke his heart. Now it's eating away at yours."

Kurama opened the door to his house just as the tears began to spill from his eyes; he did nothing to stop them. He slowly removed his shoes and staggered into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. There, he began to sob relentlessly, wishing more than ever that Hiei was there to hold him.

Empty spaces fill me up with holes.

Distant faces with no place left to go.

Without you within me,

I can't find no rest.

Where I'm goin' is anybody's guess.

Hiei sat motionless at the base of the large tree behind Genkai's temple, watching Yukina work in the garden. It was early in the afternoon and it would be a while before his sister would take a break, so Hiei used that time to do some more thinking.

"Did I ever deserve the trust and love Kurama gave to me so unreservedly? No. I never deserved his friendship, not alone his love. How could he ever think that I could make him happy? I could never make anyone happy. All I'll ever be able to do is cause him pain." Hiei leaned back and rested his head against the bark of the tree, closing his eyes. "It would be selfish of me to ask him to reconsider. I can't... He's probably much happier without me."

"...Hiei-san? Are you all right?" Came the soft voice of Yukina from her garden. This dragged Hiei out of his thoughts and he blinked his cherry red eyes open to meet worried identical ones. Yukina liked to think she knew her brother very well, and could always tell when he was upset. This time it was obvious to her, Hiei wasn't trying at all to mask his emotions. She placed her gloves on the ground and stood to walk over to the youkai resting under the tree and sat next to him. "Hiei, please tell me what's bothering you; you have been acting this way for days and I am very worried; please tell me, brother." Yukina pleaded softly, placing her soft hands over her brother's. "I want to help."

"..." Hiei didn't think that any one could help him, but Kurama told him, and even proved to him, that talking about it could ease the pain. He knew his sister was only trying to help him, but he still could not fully bring himself to believe that Kurama had left him; no amount of talking could lessen that pain.

"Brother?"

"I... I have something to ask you." He started out, in a shy, soft voice. "Never my life have I had anyone one who I cared about as much as I do Kurama. Growing up I was never taught how to love or express my feelings, only how to suppress them. I don't know how to show him... How do I show Kurama how much I care about him?" He watched Yukina blink; she squeezed Hiei's hands and smiled at him softly.

"I knew there was... something... going on between you two. I never thought you would come to me for help, Hiei-san." Yukina leaned over and sat next to Hiei on the grass at the base of the tree. "Now tell me, have you told Kurama how you feel? I'm sure he could understand more than anyone else could."

"I was going to try and tell him... but- but he left me." Hiei paused, averting his gaze to his lap. " I know it's my fault. I hid my feelings from him, in fear of rejection..."

"I see... I'm sorry Hiei-san." Yukina placed a reassuring hand on Hiei's shoulder and the fire demon let out a pained sigh. "I do not understand, though. Why do you think that Kurama would reject you?" The Koorime girl asked. "Though you won't admit it, Kurama is your best friend, and you mean a lot to him; I know, I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. He cares for you, Hiei, like he cares for no other. He's probably insecure about his own feelings, and confused as to why you won't admit yours to him. He might think that you don't feel the way he feels about you."

"How do I know if he really loves me or not?"

"I know he loves you, brother. Anyone with eyes can see that. The question is: How does he know if you really love him?"

"I've tried to tell him... twice actually. But every time, I cannot form words into sentences adequate enough to express how I truly feel."

"That's because true love can't be put into words." Yukina smiled at her brother when he looked up at her with that almost innocent look on his face. "I'm going to help you, Hiei. Come with me." Yukina stood up and reached out a hand to help her brother. She pulled Hiei inside the temple by his hand and led him into one of the spare bedrooms and sat him down at the desk. Yukina pointed to the piece of paper on the desk and set a pen closer to Hiei. "I want you to write a letter to Kurama. Write whatever you want; it's your letter. You can take as much time as you want, I'm going into the city to meet someone and I will be back tonight."

Hiei blinked and picked up the pen in his right hand. He watched Yukina leave the room and close the door silently behind her, then turned back to the blank paper in front of him.

'Write whatever you want; take as much time as you want...' Hiei thought for a long moment. What could he write to Kurama that wouldn't make him sound like a fool? Hiei closed his eyes and drummed the pen on the desk just as a gentle gust of warm, summer night air breezed past him. All of a sudden, words began to form in his mind and he quickly leaned forward to write them down as if the wind would whisk them away as suddenly as it had brought them.

To my dearest Kurama,

Would you believe me if I told you I miss you? Would you listen if

I told you I am sorry? I never meant to hurt you the way I did;

though I knew from the beginning that I would.

Every night I've spent alone, here at Genkai's, I will admit,

I thought about you. So many questions with no answers raced

through my head and memories long since passed flash before

my eyes. Even after three weeks, I can still remember your scent exactly,

the silky texture of your hair, the light tone of your skin, the beautifully

rich voice that lulled me into a calm slumber every night. Everything about

you has been permanently etched into my mind. These memories are mine,

and mine alone; forever a keepsake of what I let go.

My heart is heavy with guilt, Kurama.

I've tried so hard to tell you how I feel, but every time you looked at me with

those vibrant, young eyes, I held back. I couldn't do that to you, I thought.

But in truth, I was scared. Scared that I would one day give you my heart

and you would leave me.

Please believe me, Kurama. I am sorry for the pain I have caused you. If I could,

I would take it all away, but I would only bring you more. But never doubt that I

still... love you. I'm just confused right now; I don't understand these new emotions

you gave to me. I just need time to sort all of them out, maybe then I will be able to

apologize to you're face. But until that time comes, goodbye Kitsune.

With All My Love,

Hiei

Hiei folded the letter in half and pushed it back on the desk, setting the pen down on top of it. He sighed and rubbed his temples with his fingers. He was exhausted. He stood from the desk, electing to take a walk in attempt to calm his restlessness. Sleep would not come easy for him tonight, just like it hadn't for three weeks; nothing would take his mind off of the fox, it seemed.

I tried to go in like I never knew you.

I'm awake, but my world is half asleep.

I pray for this heart to be unbroken,

but without you all I'm goin' to be is,

incomplete.