" NO...ABSOLUTELY NOT...No freakin' way...are you out of your god damn mind"? Lisbon shrieked, leaping to her feet, anymore petulant and she would have resembled a truculent toddler.
Special agent J.J LaRoche sighed heavily, hysterics he has expected, but not from Senior Agent Lisbon, his keen eagle-eyes wandered across the room to the CBI's most unconventional employee, the completely unpredictable Patrick Jane, consultant extraordinaire, who was currently lounging on the couch in the corner, observing proceedings with a bemused smirk on his handsome features.
" Sit Down Agent..."! he boomed out forebodingly, making a picture on the wall behind himself, shudder on it's nail " This is non-negotiable...Yourself and Mr Jane here..." Jane's smile broadened at the sheer venom in his superiors voice, it was no secret LaRoche couldn't stand the sight of him " You are the chief prosecution witnesses to this case, I do not need to spell it out to someone of your experience, that it is imperative that the pair of you are protected until the accused takes the stand"?
" But...Sir with all due respect...it's fact that the Espinoza family work alone, it's all in-house and Raul is the final piece in the puzzle...he's under lock and key in Folsom...they don't farm out contracts...who the hell is gonna come looking for Jane and I...huh"? she reasoned but she could see from the steely glint in LaRoche's eye, that argument was futile,
" Teresa...The FBI and indeed Homeland Security deem it necessary that you are taken into protective custody as soon as possible...The longer you stand here arguing with me, the less time you have to gather up a few belongings before you will be escorted to an unspecified location".
He had hoped that there would be enough finality in his tone to silence his fired up agent, but the threat just seemed to ignite further fury.
" Awwww c'mon Sir...Jane and I would be of more use right here at CBI...holing us up in the middle of nowhere, just takes operatives away from their duties...How do you know their clean huh..."! she pitched more in hope than expectation " Dirty cops...read about it all the time" she ended matter-of-factly, this time a glower was forthcoming, LaRoche's chins wobbling as his patience finally ran out,
" Wit-Sec...yourself and Mr Jane...non-negotiable...".
Patrick Jane watched in total amusement as his sparky superior stamped her booted foot in dissent and cursed audibly under her breath and it took all of his powers of resolve not to snigger. He silently conceded that being holed up in the middle of nowhere, with him, was probably Lisbon's idea of a living nightmare, but he wasn't going any place any time soon, solitude had always been a good friend of his, so disappearing off the face of the earth was something else he knew he would be excel at, but Lisbon looked genuinely tortured at the thought, so as usual he jumped in to try and ease the burden for her, he found himself trying to make life simpler for Teresa any chance he got these days, god knows she had gone all out for him.
" Er...could I make a suggestion"? Jane interjected hand raised to draw all eyes to himself and LaRoche's mountain-like shoulders sagged,
" NO..."! he and Lisbon chorused to a sigh of resignation from the consultant,
" Would you at least hear me out...Sheeeesh! what I was going to say...before you both jumped the gun and shot me down in flames..." his ever so slightly play school tone didn't wash with the special agent,
" Your point Mr Jane...time is of the essence here"! LaRoche drawled but Jane was not to be put off,
" As you know...I'm not one to...toot my own trumpet..."
" Oh no...not you...never..."! Lisbon muttered sarcastically but he pressed on unperturbed,
" I think we will all agree that had I not concealed myself in the closet in Raul Espinoza's flea pit of an office, when, if I may say so...certain FBI agents sat around outside trying to decide whether to pose as customers or shock and awe the place with..." he rolled his eyes a little theatrically " Smoke bombs...times must be hard if the greatest law enforcement agency in this fine country are resorting to such school boy tactics..."?
" JANE..."! Lisbon snarled " You are really not helping..." he tutted furiously before continuing,
" I'm just trying to point out that the bust would have happened two hours earlier, without the need for Lisbon to be involved...had the boys and girls at the FBI got their thumb's out of their ass..."
" Jane...if there is a point to all this...spit it out will you..."! she huffed impatiently and he favoured her with the most irritating, serene stare, she should have known, Jane was a master at building a scene, he was wasted in the criminal justice system, she often had visions of him in a garish Hawaiian shirt flouncing around an old school theatre calling everyone Dahling and directing Gilbert & Sullivan operetta's...
" I'm merely saying that Raul Espinoza...if he is going to exact revenge on anyone in this building, it would be me...I was the one he found hiding in his closet...I was the one who...borrowed his finest blend Colombian coffee...I doubt he will ever forgive me for that...$100 dollars a kilo...definitely a reason to kill..." he wittered to more distain " He barely saw Agent Lisbon, she busted down that door like a hurricane, he was turned around and slammed on the desk before he got chance to draw breath...surely she doesn't need to be incarcerated with me...for god knows how long...so, that said...I will gladly fall on my sword and go to whatever hidey hole the United States criminal justice system deem necessary"? he added helpfully, flashing a rather doubtful looking Lisbon a dazzling smile, LaRoche however remained unimpressed by such an act of gallantry.
" Senior Agent Teresa Lisbon...Mr Jane...you will both be taken into protective custody in exactly two hours time, I suggest you return to your respective homes, pack whatever you might need...contact nobody...and I repeat...not a living soul and return here for 7pm this evening, where you will be escorted to an unspecified safe house" Lisbon's eyes widened with abject horror,
" WOAH! Wait a god damn minute...you mean together...you're sending us to the same place...together"?
" Why of course...as you most frugally pointed out...did you not...putting you in the same safe house, saves on resources...",
" Yeah but...Sir"!
" Agent...I have wasted far more time than necessary on briefing you..." Teresa gulped, she absolutely hated having no control whatsoever over any given situation and made a habit never to get herself into such predicaments...losing her liberty was one thing, losing it with Patrick Jane was something else entirely, and the maddening thing was, as she shot him a sideways glance, he appeared to be revelling in such an outcome...and it was this fact alone that unnerved her more than anything...spending god knows how long, who knows where, probably in the middle of nowhere with Patrick Jane.
Gathering her wits about her Lisbon suddenly had a brainwave...back up! She needed back up...surely if she could swing it so that one of her own team accompanied them to this safe house, she could avoid the crazy notions in her head, the bizarre little fantasies which had been creeping into even her waking thoughts about said consultant...she cleared her throat, more out of hope than expectation.
" Sir...I would like one of my agents on the team...Cho if he can be spared...I'm not sayin' I don't trust the FBI but both Jane and I would feel a hell of a lot better if we could see a familiar fac..."
" Oh hey! it makes no odds to me" Jane slipped in affably and she turned and fired a death stare at him to which he pulled a face and rolled his eyes at,
" Why are you making this ten times more difficult than it needs to be Agent"? LaRoche spluttered indignantly,
" Put Cho on the detail and I won't say another word" her request was considered for all of two seconds,
" Agent Cho will accompany the pair of you out to the drop, he will not however be part of guard detail, he is a recognised CBI agent and therefore would draw attention to your location...and that, is my final word"! he ended with a resolute wobble of his chins, Teresa sank back onto her chair with a wail of disgust, Patrick Jane however remained in his chair, gazing thoughtfully into space...already planning their entertainment, what they would eat, if their provisions allowed...and most of all he vowed to find out exactly what it was about being alone with himself, that made Teresa Lisbon so god damn nervous?
If there was one thing Teresa Lisbon hated more than anything whilst in a car, well ok two things, one was not driving the vehicle in question and the second, was being sat beside someone who constantly fiddled with a cell phone, and that was almost as irritating as someone listening to an I-pod so loud, that the music bled out from the tight fitting ear pieces.
So there she sat, strapped in the back seat of a federal SUV being driven through pitch black countryside, with Patrick Jane beside her, fiddling about with the cell phone LaRoche had given them...How the hell had he ended up with something so precious anyway...Oh you have serious control issues Lisbon, you really have to get those sorted out, she muttered to herself...but the flickering screen beside her proved to be so much of a distraction she couldn't bear it, she gave Jane's shoulder a nudge and leaned a little closer, not wanting to attract the attentions of the sumo-sized FBI agent riding alongside Agent Cho, who was driving.
" Jane..."! she hissed into the inky blackness,
" Mmmmhmmm..."
" For crying out loud...what on earth are you doing with that cell...if you run the battery down so help me..."! he paused for a few seconds and turned to fix his weary eyes on her, a stretched patience sort of a sigh escaping him,
" I do believe that's why LaRoche gave me a charger with it"? he sassed back to another scowl,
" Yeh well...just...stop fiddling will you..."!
" Woman! I do not fiddle...when have you ever seen me fiddle with anything"? disdain this time, dripping from every vowel and consonant,
" Phrttt! Where the hell do you want me to start"? a sarcastic chuckle followed,
" Well...I am a fantastic fiddler...even though I do say so myself...and this..." he paused and squinted towards the agents in the front seats of the vehicle, Cho...engrossed in his book, Special Agent Malone...eyes fixed on the dark road ahead " This should give us some idea of where we are being taken"? despite the darkness, there was no mistaking just how impressed his superior was, Lisbon's eyes twinkled with approval,
" Are you sure"?
" Mmmhmmm...you just gotta love Google Maps",
" Sooo...where do Google Maps have us positioned"? she muttered,
" Hmmmmm...we're heading North East...my guess is...their taking us to Cedar Canyon...a rather nice spot on the Green River, perfectly secluded...I can't see any cocaine smuggling crime lord bothering to go looking for us up there"? Lisbon sighed in defeat,
" Ohhh great...cut off from the outside world...and surrounded by nature...fan-tas-tic..." Jane frowned and turned to observe her once more, for the first time in close on nine years, Teresa Lisbon looked anything but the kick ass superwoman he had come to rely on,
" Why so glum huh...fresh air, mother nature in all her glory..."? this time she wrinkled her nose, her very cute little nose.
" I don't do nature Jane...I've lived my entire life in the big smoke...I don't like bugs...I don't do green...I don't like hiking, not that their gonna let us out of wherever it is their putting us...This is just glorified camping...and I fucking hate to camp...",
" Meh...You may not like all those things now my dear, but believe me, when we're done with this...you will at least learn to appreciate it...oh! and if the Feds think their keeping me locked up 24 hours a day when there are places to see and explore...they are very much mistaken"
" Jane...what part of Wit-sec do you not understand"! this time he glared balefully back at her,
" Obviously a hell of a lot more than you do Agent Lisbon..."
" Oh please...don't be a smart ass with me right now..."
" Wit-Sec Lisbon...Wit-Sec...not house arrest...we're under Wit-Sec...now ok I may not be one of your high falluting CBI special operatives...but even I know that means you can go outside and smell fresh air...see blue sky and hear the birds sing...Jeeze...how long have you been doing this job"! Teresa sat there in the dark, her entire body sizzling with indignity, How many times! She berated herself...How many times had she gone in to bat against Patrick Jane and been made to look like a complete amateur...fucking smart ass...God! this incarceration was going to be a living nightmare.
Her black mood deepened into an all out depression the second they pulled up outside the most hideously romantic looking bolt hole the FBI could have found for them...Lisbon could have sworn she saw Cho snigger to himself, lips twitching into a truly filthy smirk...she didn't even wanna contemplate what he would report back to Rigsby and Van Pelt once back in Sacramento.
Jane however, despite it being close on midnight, pitch dark and creepier than a dingy back alleyway in downtown Sac...Jane was in his element...skipping to unload the car, almost snatching the key from the FBI operative and he was inside the cabin before she had dragged her tired carcass out of the SUV.
Teresa stood and surveyed her surroundings through heavy, sleepy eyes...she was beyond tired now, every sinew ached, every nerve was on edge...but the baffling thing was...she knew it had nothing to do with being in Wit-Sec...she'd half lied to Jane about hating the countryside...and had she been on a romantic weekend away with a hot male friend...Cedar Canyon would have been perfect...Her heart felt like lead...why could she not have been here with a hot, sexy...male friend? Her brain physically screamed at her as she watched Jane gallantly taking her suitcase up the stairs...But Teresa, you are here with a hot sexy male friend...and you know it!
It didn't matter how much Teresa tried to deny it...she seriously fancied the ass off Patrick Jane...It had been creeping up on her for months. No woman could have failed to fall for his charms, he had a smile that could light up the darkest of rooms, his eyes were the colour of the ocean, and he was smart...
At first she had brushed his attributes off, telling herself he was simply pretty...she didn't do pretty boys...and he wasn't smart...he was fucking smug...to the point of being annoying...but as the months went by...Nah! there was no denying it...she went into work each morning craving his cheery Good Morning's! The day couldn't start till she heard his soft un-mistakable Mid-West burr...she felt alive the second he fixed his twinkly green eyes upon her, teasing her until she would swear he could read her mind and knew what she had been doing the evening before...
A scarlet flame would crawl up her neck, into her cheeks and the hairs on the back of her neck would stand to attention...God! what if he really could read minds...Patrick Jane would know that she had spent the evening before...pleasuring herself, with his handsome face, sexy smile and the ultra firm, taught body she often imagined under his finely cut suits in her head...this was usually the point Lisbon barked out orders to her team and stomped back to her office, slammed the door and sat behind her desk, using it as cover as she slipped her fingers between her thighs to try and satiate the painful throbbing that had erupted...cursing her consultant for being so unbelievable do-able.
Her eyes wandered around the beautiful lounge room she found herself in, it screamed intimacy back at her, the glorious over stuffed couches...she snapped her eyes shut the second the thought of she and Jane writhing frantically on it entered her head...The log burning fire...Oh god...there they were on the rug before it...his stunningly lithe body bathed in the glow of the embers as she stroked her trembling fingers all over him...
Grizzling Teresa stomped through to the kitchen...no chance she was climbing the stairs where there would no doubt be bedrooms with beds the size of California in them and spa tubs big enough for two people to fuck in no problem...Kitchen...safe environment...utensils...nothing sexy about frying skillets and...knives and forks...Oh dear god! She whimpered under her breath...Would you look at the size of this...her hand reached out to smooth over the surface of a handmade oak table it must have been all of eight feet long...I could bang his brains out on that...Teresa mused before aiming a slap at her forehead and busying herself with the kettle.
After giving herself a hell of a talking to, Teresa had ventured up the pine staircase, Jane, she knew was probably already questioning her mood, he analysed everything and she really didn't want to give him any more ammunition...bottom line, she and Patrick were friends, they were in this together...acting like a spoiled child was just gonna peak his interest, then he would start digging...she paused at the top of the stairs...took a deep breath to steady her pulse and then called out to check his whereabouts.
Maybe this isn't going to be so bad after all? Teresa contemplated as she sat beside Patrick at a respectable distance an hour later, both nursing steaming mugs of cocoa...aimlessly watching the flames lick at the grate in the fire which he had set ablaze within seconds...
He was good company, he really had no clue how she felt about him...and with his past, Teresa doubted he would ever be in a position to reciprocate...she stole a glance at him catching Jane in profile and her heart began to trip mercilessly again...who was she kidding, even if Jane was remotely interested, she knew...there was no way on earth she could follow through...Teresa Lisbon really had no clue about giving or receiving affection...her tummy fluttered with disappointment...Teresa Lisbon really had no clue about love or being loved...it scorched her from the inside...the veil descended again, her mood darkened...and as if by magic Patrick turned to her, finding her glaring into her mug...
What on earth was eating his beautiful superior up inside...a secretive smile twitched the corner of his lips...only a matter of time before she gave it up to him...In fact she was gonna give everything she had up to him...of that he had no doubt!
Patrick Jane had gone to bed plotting...plotting his next move, fleshing out his tactics for opening up his beautiful superior. Teresa Lisbon he knew, despite his uncanny knack of getting under people's skin, drawing them out of the shadows of their sub-conscious, she was gonna be a whole new proposition...She was a very tough cookie, as tough as they came and Jane fully expected resistance all the way.
At the same time he knew she was totally worth it, she had to be the most beautiful woman he had ever met...His heart wrenched with guilt as his long deceased wife entered his thoughts...but after a moment of second thought he back tracked...He knew now that if he wished to move on with his life, he had to unlock the key to his heart, and that key was sulky, sultry and oh so sexy Teresa Lisbon.
He'd seriously though that hot, soothing cocoa would begin that process, and after seeing Teresa curled up on the couch, all cosy and mesmerised by the flickering flames, he was almost certain that at the very least she had finally relaxed in his company...and for a few minutes it looked like his chocolate ruse had worked...but it was obvious she was wrestling with something and by the time they turned in, she was sullen again, avoiding eye contact, muttering a hasty and awkward Good Night! As they parted company.
Patrick was baffled, he knew she had a tendency for being unpredictably moody, but even he had never seen a woman's mood swing the full 360 in the space of a few minutes and definitely not under the influence of chocolate?
Patrick hoped when he woke to glorious autumnal sunshine the next morning, a stunning blue haze from the towering pine trees cloaking the canyon below the cabin that Teresa would be well rested and relaxed, but when she shuffled into the kitchen hollow eyed and just as surly as the evening before, his heart sank.
Things did not improve over breakfast despite the FBI cramming the cupboards with the most delicious foods, including Lisbon's favourite coffee blend, and Jane rustling up the fluffiest of scrambled eggs, she remained totally unresponsive.
Patrick had always prided himself on his patience, but a comforting touch to the shoulder, a warm and gentle smile, a jaunty riposte was not gonna cut it this time...after an hour of being sighed and grunted at, even Jane had to concede defeat...he rarely made it out of the city, this had been an unexpected treat and he sure as hell wasn't gonna spend the duration of their stay, cooped up with a snarling female. Meh! If Teresa Lisbon wanted to stew, she could do it on her own time, in her own company..he needed air...fresh air...and tonnes of it.
" Er...and where are you going"? she barked as Jane made his way back into the sunny kitchen, small back pack in hand, her foot tapping impatiently on the wooden floor boards below it, Patrick turned as he carefully folded back the sleeves on the pale blue Chambery shirt he wore, this was after Teresa had gotten over the shock of seeing him wearing casual clothes, perfectly fitting black denim jeans...he smiled patiently,
" Why, it's a beautiful day...sun's up...I can smell pine...I'm going out to embrace the wilderness" he added a touch theatrically, she gulped, momentarily at a loss,
" Your going out? on who's say so"?
" Woman! How old do you think I am...I think I'm perfectly capable of taking myself out for a walk in the woods...Jeeze..."! he muttered as he stooped to check his shoe laces were tied tightly enough,
" And...and what about me..."? she questioned, throat tightening at the thought of being alone,
" Well...as far as I see it you have two options Teresa...you can either grab your rain coat, slip on some appropriate footwear and come out with me...or, you can stay right here and drown in whatever it is that has made you such poor company for the last twelve hours" a gasp escaped, pure indignation, her chest rose, breasts puffed out,
" Excuse me..."! he shot her a glance,
" Oh you heard me just fine...you have been a complete misery since we set off last night...I really have no clue what it is you despise so much about spending time alone in my company...so I shall make life a whole lot easier for you Teresa...enjoy your own company, you sure as hell aint about to enjoy mine" with a jaunty wink he was off, she stood open mouthed, the wind completely knocked out of her sails as Patrick strode to the back door and within a second...he was gone.
The silence was deafening and Teresa regretted her actions and most of all, her words the second Jane left. She slumped into the nearest chair, cheeks ablaze...He must think I am a complete moron? She groaned...If she kept this up he would suss her out for sure.
But the bottom line was, Patrick Jane made her nervous, he made her hyper-sensitive, he made her feel completely crazy...she couldn't show him any weakness, she could not crumble, she mustn't give in because she knew full well that she couldn't follow through, everything her heart and her head were telling her to do...logic was telling her it was probably the worst idea in the world.
Jane returned mid-afternoon to find Lisbon had perked up...well, she'd gone from un-responsive and surly to chippy and efficient and...Meh! business-like, which in his opinion, wasn't all that much of an improvement, but there was some life in the depths of her sulky emerald green eyes for a change.
She cooked, succulent lamb chops and fresh garden vegetables, they drank a beautifully smooth Cabernet, this alone should have mellowed the mood, but then she sat and pushed her food around her plate and even his attempts at gentle conversation was an effort...Jane absolutely hated feeling powerless, he could always get some kind of a fix on anyone in his company, but Lisbon, right that second, had him foxed and he really didn't like it.
After standing by her side washing up in complete silence save for the water being sloshed about, he muttered an excuse and turned in early, it was barely 9pm, he sure as hell wasn't tired but he was bored...out of his mind. He thrived on stimulation, he really didn't like being made to feel like he was the cause of such anxiety...He was resolved, if the atmosphere didn't improved tomorrow...Jane knew he would need to take action, he wasn't cruel, he didn't want Lisbon to suffer a moment longer.
She greeted him with a smile at the breakfast table the next morning, Patrick's heart soared, he had his Teresa back, she had finally thawed, well...the ice cap had sprung a leak and was slowly dripping...she could manage a smile without her face cracking and she managed chit chat without grinding her teeth...and when she suggested a trip up to Cedar Rapids to check out the renowned farmers market...Patrick jumped at the chance, maybe he could put his plan into action after all?
Teresa however was driving with her brakes on...she couldn't deny, it felt like the most natural thing in the world, strolling around the colourful market in the sunshine, with Patrick...In a way they had been a couple, joined at the hip for years, longer than some people stayed married for.
Watching Jane shop was an experience in itself...he asked really intelligent questions of the stall holders about their produce, he picked fruits up, he squeezed and sniffed...he tasted...and he did it all with an elegant sensuality.
The second her heart tripped giddily at the sight of the sunshine highlighting his curls, she turned away, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end from watching his sexy long fingers curling around apples, gently squeezing avocado's to test for ripeness, she busied herself with the items for sale at the next stall along...Just as soon as she felt herself begin to tumble under his spell...she slammed her brakes on...so hard that she almost left skid marks.
By the time Jane and Lisbon returned to their bolt hole late afternoon, Teresa was almost her usual self, Patrick still got the impression she was dancing on egg shells but the twinkle of mischief was back in her eyes and she was replying in more than one syllable which had to be an improvement...when he suggested they cooked dinner together, she was all for it...lucky for her, she had no clue that this was all part of his master plan...