Author's Note: Normally I stick with Harry Potter but I was listening to "Nobody Knows" by Kevin Sharp and an idea came to mind. I love NCIS particularly Tony and Gibbs. This is a song fic about how Tony is coping after Jeanne leaves. I just I would share. I don't own NCIS or Kevin Sharp's song. Lyrics are in italics.
Nobody Knows
I pretend that I'm glad you went away.
Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo stared unseeing at his computer screen absently turning a black velvet box in his fingers. It had been three weeks since he made his choice. He had known it was the right choice but at times like this he wished he had taken the other choice. But these four walls close in more everyday.
Tony sighed and shook his head. But his heart ached as his thoughts returned to memories. She was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. And I'm dying inside. And nobody knows it but me.
Like a clown I put on a show. He was brought out of his musing when he felt someone watching him. Looking up Tony found Ziva staring at him oddly. Forcing a smile Tony sat up. The pain is real even if nobody knows.
"Cant keep your eyes off of me can ya Zeevah." He grinned drawing out her name like he always did.
Ziva stood up and made her way over to his desk. "A quarter for your thoughts Tony?" She asked.
"Its penny for your thoughts." He said. "I'm fine."
And I'm crying inside. And nobody knows it but me.
"You don't look fine." Ziva said perching lightly on the corner of his desk.
Tony opened his desk drawer placing the small box under some files. He turned back to his computer trying hard to focus. Why didn't I say the things I needed to say?
Ziva stood and went back to her desk. It was obvious Tony was not in the mood to share why he was in a funk.
How could I let my angel get away?
A few clicks of the mouse brought up a picture. Tony smiled wistfully at the happy image of himself and Jeanne. Now my world is a-tumblin' down. How he wished that the time he spent with her was not a lie.
With another long look he right clicked on the picture and hit delete, the image disappearing from the file.
I can say it clearly but you're no where around. "I will always love you." He whispered.
"What was that DiNozzo?" Gibbs said appearing suddenly in front of him.
Startled Tony looked up at his boss. He hated that the ex-marine could sneak up on him. "No…nothing Boss." He said.
Gibb's raised a brow. "Then get back to work."
"Yes Boss" His automatic answer came out weakly.
The nights are so lonely the days are so sad.
Later that night Tony lay awake. His thoughts had returned to Jeanne.
And I just keep thinking about the love that we had. How he missed her love.
Sighing Tony rolled onto his side. And I'm missing you. He reached for his phone. Maybe he could call Ziva or Abby, instead he flipped the phone closed and set it back on the night stand. And nobody knows it but me.
He watched the minutes on his clock slowly tick by. It was well past two in the morning but his mind was wide awake and his heart ached. How blue can I get you could ask my heart. Just like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn all apart.
Sweet memories flashed through his mind. Tony's thoughts turned once more. 'Was there something he could have done?' A million words just couldn't say just how I feel.
A million years from now you know I'll be loving you still
Tony closed his eyes. The pain was not going to go away. The nights are so lonely the days are so sad.
He flipped on the T.V. and started to surf the channels. A late night movie caught his eye. But he soon realized the leading actress only reminded him of Jeanne. And I just keep thinking about the love that we had.
The couple on screen kissed. And I'm missing you. And nobody knows it but me. Tony sighed heavily letting a memory of her kiss come to mind.
He would always love her Tony knew. It would take time but one day he would get over the ache in his heart and fill the hole that was created by her leaving. Maybe one day he would find his true love.
With that thought Tony closed his eyes once more and finally slipped off to sleep. The last thing he remembered was the image of Ziva perched on his desk.
Things would turn out. And nobody would know of his pain.