Hurt, that's what she felt at this moment. So much of it and she didn't know what to do with herself. She was nearly six sweeps old and here she was, trying not to show how upset she was. If anything, she should update her shipping wall but the thought of adding her and him as potentially being in a matespritship was nearly enough to send the young troll into another crying fest. How was it that Karkat and Terezi could be forming such red feelings for each other? She was trying hard to get his attention but somehow, he was focusing on her. Terezi was a good friend to her, someone she role-played with. She probably had no idea that she felt that way about Karkat but even so!
Maybe...it wasn't red feelings. What if it was black? Karkat wasn't the most nicest troll but who was these days? Besides Tavros but that was another time and another part of the shipping wall.
Yet somewhere inside, she felt that it wasn't black feelings. It was something more on the red side and she could feel her heart ache from the pain. She could feel the olive-colored tears fall down her face and once again, she had to force herself to push these feelings back. She still had a chance! Yes, if she tried talk to Karkat more then there was a possibility that he might see that she cared about him. That her feelings were the brightest of reds.
You did this because you love him. You wanted to be with him and it hurt so much that he didn't see you the way you saw him.
Running her fingers through her long mane of hair, she could only ponder how to get his attention. He only sometimes role-played with her and even then, it was in his own mean way. Which she was grateful for! Sometimes, she with wished that he talked to her more. She wanted to show him that she were better for him than her. Better than Terezi but as soon as these thoughts formed in her mind, she felt bad. Her fingers began to twist the wild mane of hers. She was very proud of her hair. It made her feel more powerful when she was on the hunt. Though it did get tangled easily, she took care of it the best she could. She put this above how she felt when she took down a beast or when she role-played. Her hair...she adored it.
You would always be second next to Terezi, no matter how hard you try to gain his attention...he loved her and not you.
She stood and stretched but even then, she didn't feel much better. Her mind was still caught up what she could do to catch Karkat's attention for but a moment. Just so he would talk to her and then she could come up with some purrfect for them to bond over.
Maybe. Just maybe.
Her eyes stopped when she saw her reflection in a cracked mirror she kept in her hive. Pounce de Leon was taking a catnap by it but she paid little attention to her lusus. Her fingers touched her hair while her eyes grew wider. Her mouth open, a small intake of breathe was heard.
Cutting your hair to look similar to hers might change things, even just a little bit.
Why was she even considering it? She loved her mane, loved it as much as she loved her lusus. She stroked it and let her fingers get tangled in it but the thought wouldn't go away. She wanted him to notice her so bad. She wanted him to look at her and see her but he was always going to look at Terezi. He was going to search for her when it came down to it. He would look for her hair, her cane, everything. She felt her hand grip part of the tangled black mess on top of her head while her free hand produced her claws. Somewhere, deep in her mind, there was a protest to cut her beautiful mane. A frown was slowly appearing on her face because she was fighting herself. It was beautiful and the thought of it being so short made her want to cry.
You just wanted some affection...even if it meant changing yourself in some way.
Her hand trembled. It was getting closer to her hair and she was so nervous. She pulled harder and closed her eyes, letting the sharp claws sweep across. When her eyes open again, she saw that she was hold a large quantity of her hair in her hands. She almost let out a moan but she gripped the tuft in her hand. She still had so much more to go if she wanted it to be the same was Terezi's. Her lips quivered and tears threaten to spill from her eyes but she went to work.
You were going to win his heart one way or another.
When she finished, she tried to be positive. It was...different. She could almost believe that it looked similar to Terezi from a distance. Maybe if she was lucky. Karkat would confuse the both of them. Then she could talk to him and make her move. Show him how much she cared for him and that she would do anything for him. That her feelings were for him and him alone. She didn't want to think she was better than Terezi but you wanted him. She was destined to be with him. She could feel it in her blood.
You won't lose to her.
AN: So this is my first Homestuck fanfic. Kind of feel weird by posting it. One, because my beta reader didn't look at it but she hasn't read Homestuck, so she would get confused. Second, I don't consider myself a GREAT writer and trying to get this down without looking like a complete idiot is kind of nerve-wracking. Anyway, I put that aside and finished this. The reason is because I saw this picture of Nepeta with long hair and she was cutting it. Then one of the comments was all the stuff I wrote in bold and italized. So this is for Trickster of Thieves for the amazing quote. I hope you don't mind that I used it.
I also hope that I did a decent job. I kept going back and forth by adding 'Karkitty' and 'Karkat' but when I went to look some stuff up, she refers to him as Karkat early on before going to Karkitty later on. And this is sorta of before they play the game and sort of AU-ish. Please don't hurt me!
That's it for now. Please review and tell me how I did! It would be awesome to see what you all think!