Okay guys, so, I have recently been getting obsessed with Newsies ever since I saw it in July (there was a cool breeze blowing in the theatre too). And I started watching the cast vids, so I wanted to be in that cast, so this came into existence.
I looked up at the Nederlander theatre. This was it, I was gonna be the second Bruiser. The only female Newsie in the story line. I took a deep breath and pulled my hoodie down. Only 15 and almost on broadway. Dad hadn't been very supportive to say the least, in fact my arm still ached from last night, but it would all be worth it. I walked in the doors and made my way to the front. To say the least, I was a little surprised to see a few different guys stretching right there in the front. I went up to one that was doing the splits.
"Um, excuse me?" I asked him. He looked up at me and stood up."Hi, I'm Lizzy, I'm the new bruiser." At this the others looked at me. I suddenly felt very self conscious and a little scared. I had never seen this many men in one room before. The man smiled and shook my hand.
"Nice to meet you Lizzy, I'm Ryan. I play specs." At that point I realized who he was.
"Oh my God. You're Ryan Steele." He chuckled nervously I think.
"Uh, yeah."
"Wow, you were amazing in west side story."
"Oh, wow, thanks." He smiled. I then remembered I was supposed to be 'professional'
"Oh, uh, sorry, little fan moment there. Um, anyway, do you know where I'm supposed to go?" He smiled.
"Yes, but uh, I gotta go stretch a little more," He turned to the others."Any of you guys done?" I looked past him at the other boys. One with brown eyes and black hair stood up, slightly raising his hand.
"I gotcha." He walked over to me and shook my hand."Andy Richardson, nice to meet you." He smiled.
A few days later I sat in the dressing room I shared with Ben and Andrew. I had become pretty good friends with the rest of the cast. Lavon and Andy were the most fun to hang out with, but I had a pretty close relationship with the three main boys (Andrew, Corey and Ben) because of all the time we spent together on stage. Granted I had only been in rehearsals for this before and it was my first show as bruiser. I yawned. Things at home had not been getting any better, dad was getting drunk more often, which meant he was more violent, which meant more future scars and many present bruises. I shuddered at the thought of what might happen later that night.
"Hey Liz, you okay?" Ben's voice jolted me out of my thoughts. I looked over at him, he had a look of concern on his face. Andrew did too. Other than the two boys who played Les, I was the shortest person in the cast, something Andy constantly held over my head, literally. So it was a little intimidating to see them staring down at me.
"I-I'm fine. Just a little nervous." I told them. Ben looked convinced, but Andrew still seemed a little skeptical. He shrugged it off though much to my relief. Ben put a hand on my shoulder and I tired not to wince.
"You're gonna do great Liz, don't worry about it."
"Yeah, you've been doing awesome in rehearsals." Andrew agreed, smiling. I took a deep breath and smiled.
"Thanks guys. Now get out, I gotta change." I tried pushing them out of the room. Ben walked out without a question smiling, but Andrew, being the little goof he was, pulled a Nani on me. I put my tiny hands on his back and tried pushing him out.
"Oh no, Gravity is increasing on me!" He teased me.
"No it isn't, get out!" I said with a smile.
"It is too Lizzy, the same thing happened yesterday." He smiled and practically fell on me. I huffed and pushed him out.
"Go!" I said, still smiling. Andrew grinned and left after that. I sighed in relief. I loved the boys, but I wasn't exactly about to let them see any of my scars. I slipped my Newsie cap on my head, already having my pin curls done up. I put on my mic and costume."Okay guys, I'm decent!" I called and the boys came back in.
"I don't get it, all the other girls are fine changing with us." Ben said as he closed the door.
"Yeah well the other girls aren't fifteen years old, Ben."
"Andy's fifteen isn't he?" Andrew said with a smirk on his face. Ben's soon matched it and I tried to force my blush down. Yeah, it was true. I had a bit of a crush on Andy Richardson. And so obviously, my dressing room buddies knew all about it. Which meant insane amounts of teasing. I rolled my eyes.
"Shut up, the both of you, I have enough making me nervous already." I sighed.
"Oh, so he makes you nervous does he?" Andrew smiled. I lightly glared at him and he raised his hand in surrender. I looked at Ben.
"Okay okay, I give." He said, still smiling. I sighed and got a little more jittery as the half hour call sounded through the big speakers. Ben and and Andrew smiled at me."Come on Liz."
"Show time."
A few weeks later I was getting undressed after my fifth show that week. Andrew was out that day and Ben was heading home already. I had the window closed for the time being and felt utterly sheltered. I looked around to make sure nobody was there and put my special day bag underneath our costume rack. I cleaned my makeup off and slipped my baggy sweatshirt on. I felt all the energy from the show leave my body and suddenly I felt a little sickly. It sure didn't help when I remembered that dad would be waiting at home for me. I was brought out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. I walked over and opened it to see Andy standing there.
"Uh hey." He smiled at me and I tried not to blush
"Hi." I chuckled."What's up?" I leaned on the wall.
"Ummm, well, first of all, you did great tonight." He said. At that point I did blush.
"Thanks, so did you." I rubbed my neck and bit back a wince. At that point there was a small silence between the two of us, then I remembered he said first of all."Annnd?" I prompted him, giggling a little.
"Hm? oh, right, yeah. Uh, Corey's looking for you." He said. I blinked.
"Oh, okay, do you know where he is?" I asked, smiling a little.
"Andy, did you find her?" I heard Corey's voice. Andy looked towards the stairs.
"You didn't think to check her dressing room?" I chuckled as I could practically hear Corey's eyes widen in realization. Andy rolled his eyes."I'll see you tomorrow Liz!" He waved before heading down the hall. Corey looked down the hall then back at me with a smirk. I looked at him.
"Not a word mister, I get enough from Ben and Andrew."
"Hey, I'm not saying anything." He raised his hands in surrender. I rolled my eyes again. "Anyway, uh, can I ask you something?" He said a little seriously. I turned to him."Sure, shoot." I said, sitting on the table. He frowned.
"Well, earlier, I saw something on your back coming up towards your neck earlier, what was that about?" He said, leaning back on the wall. I felt my smile drop and tried to pull it off as confused instead of worried. Apparently it worked. Corey gestured to where one of my scars had apparently been poking out on my back, pointing to where he thought it was on his back.
"Oh, uh, I think it was just an old mic tape remnant." I shrugged. He seemed to buy it.
"Oh, okay." He shrugged."Well, I"ll see ya tomorrah bruisah!" He said in his accent.
"See ya tomorrah Cowboy!"I replied, waving.
The Next morning I felt like I had a mountain of makeup on and I had nothing on my face. Dad was drunk again last night, and of course, that meant plenty of bruises. I yawned as I opened the door to the theatre. I sat down in the aisle between seats and stretched. I didn't do too much dancing in the show, but when I did, I still had to be ready. I made sure not to upset any of my injuries. I had once reopened a cut while stretching and Kara had flipped out when she saw blood trickling down my leg.
"Morning Lizzy." I swear my heart leapt into my throat when I heard Andy come in.
"Morning Andy, have a good night?"
"Eh. So so, you?" I pushed out the memories of the previous night.
"...it was okay I guess." I said. He sat down in front of me, frowning.
"Okay what happened, did you get stood up or something?"
"WHAT?!" I started laughing."Stood up, please, I've never even been on a date before, let alone stood up. Although I see why someone would." I looked down at myself."Hello, it is I, the flat midget." I said jokingly. Andy chuckled.
"Belive me, shortness is awesome, look at Andrew, I mean come on, he's pretty cool."
"Fair enough, and the flat part?"
"You are not flat girl. You may look it onstage but you sure ain't flat." He said, doing his best intimidation of Levon. I fell over laughing and tried not to blush, but the fact I had been in the splits did not help the pain.
"Ow, ow ow owww." I moaned.
"Oh man, are you okay?" He asked and helped me up. I held my head.
"Yeah, yeah I"m fine." I nodded.
"Are you sure, cause I think you're bleeding." He said, looking at my ankle. I mentally cursed.
"I'll just put a bandaid on it later." I replied, pulling my sock up over it. I was very, very thankful that most of my costume covers nearly my whole body. He looked unconvinced but shrugged it off.
"Okay, if you say so." He said and went into his own stretching."So, you didn't answer my question. What happened last night?"
"I don't really wanna talk about it Andy." I replied, trying to get off the subject. He frowned.
"But doesn't talking about it help you feel better?" He pushed.
"I said I don't wanna talk about it!" I snapped, then immediately put my hands over my head in fear he would hit me, squeezing my eyes shut."I"m sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." I whimpered. After a while I still hadn't been dealt a blow and I looked up at Andy, who had a look of hurt mixed with confusion on his face."W-why aren't you hitting me?" I stammered. His jaw dropped and he stuttered nonsense for a minute.
"Wha- what, h-hitting? Why would I hit you?" He said softly.
"B-because I sn-snapped at you." I replied in the same voice as before. He just sputtered nonsensical words and just looked around like he didn't know how to process what I just said.
"Lizzy, you know that I wouldn't, that none of us would ever try to hit you, right?" He said. I lowered my hands from my head.
"You mean that?"
"Of course I do, the boys snap at each other all the time but we'd never try to hurt each other because of it." He replied. I saw gears turning in his head.
"Sorry it's just...I was bullied a lot in school so..yeah." I rubbed my neck. It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth. Kids used to bully me for my scars, before I knew to hide them. Andy seemed to understand and he hugged me.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pressed you like that."
"It's okay, you were just being a good friend." I replied. There was a silence. But, not an awkward one like we normally had, but just a comfortable silence that we could sit in for as long as we needed.
"Whoa, occupado." We heard Ryan's voice and Jess La prato's laugh. We let go of each other and looked at the pair, I felt my face go bright red.
"No I was just, we were, she was..." Andy stammered.
"I just didn't have a good night last night and Andy was being guy here and making me feel better." I smiled at them."And before you ask, no, I won't talk about it. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I'm off to get into the dressing room before Andrew and Ben hear about this and begin teasing me nonstop." It was a well known fact among the cast that pretty much everyone shipped us. Of course I, being me, did not know any of this and just thought it was all a joke. I don't know whether or not Andy did but hey, whatever. I sauntered up to the dressing room and slipped a band aid onto my opened cut like I had promised. I slipped out the window and up to the roof, where I could survey all of New York in peace, not having to worry about anything. Of course this never lasted long as Corey and Andrew had started to come up with me so the three of us could get into character. It helped a lot as the first scene was the rooftop. Sure enough, I was soon joined by Andrew. He draped his legs over the edge of building, like I had already done.
"Hey." He said, smiling cheekily.
"Oh get on with it, I know they've already told you." I turned to him. His smirk deepened and his eyebrows wiggled.
Later that night Ryan Breslin, Tommy Bracco and I waited on a side of the stage as the house trickled back in for act two. I was silently removing the concealer under my eye to reveal a black eye that 'almost' looked real, which it was, but the boys didn't need to know that. Nor did the girls. Or anyone. I climbed up the ladder to the bed for Letter from the refuge. I didn't do much other than a little 'fake' crying, some talking, and fake sleeping. Bruiser was taken with Crutchie to the refuge and was tortured a little more because of the fact she had escaped before with Jack. Hence the crying. Andrew was still in the dressing room as King of New York came before letter, so it was just me up there by myself. Another boy was supposed to join us, it changed usually every night, sometimes it was Bres, other times it was Corey, once it was even Laurie, but tonight, I had no idea. I soon found out as Garett climbed up into the bed.
"Evening Lizzy ma dear. You look positively beaten this evening." He joked. I rolled my eyes.
"As do you. But wait, aren't you in king of New York?"
"Yeah, I"m not with you two tonight, it's supposed to be Andy, but I think he's stretching for the other numbers." He replied.
"So what, you just came up here for the heck of it?"
"Well, I'm also on the bottom bunk this evening as well so..yeah." He shrugged. I chuckled and leaned back, laying on the bed. "Hey Lizzy, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah go ahead." I nodded.
"Well, I think I..might have a thing for one of the girls in the cast." He replied. I sat up instantly.
"Oh my god who? Is it Levon, no, she's married. Hmm, is it Laurie, no..." I gasped."It's Julie!" He was silent."Oh my god it is!" I smiled."Okay, ask her out, within the week, or I swear I will tell her."
"No, please don't." I resisted the urge to chuckle. A grown man, still getting nervous about a crush. I smiled, he sighed."Fine, You know what, I think I'm gonna ask her out tonight, thanks Lizard, I owe you one!" I smiled.
"Happy to help." I replied. I smiled as Andy approached the bed, Andrew in tow and the pair came up the ladder. Andrew looked worse than I did on a no show day. Andy looked about the same. If I didn't know any better, I would have been worried that they had gotten mugged. Andrew and Andy both got into their character. As Andy was technically an ensemble member, it would be fine if he wasn't in King of New York, since he didn't have any big parts in that particular song. He climbed up to the top bunk with me as Andrew went off to get deeper into character, as for me, for this particular scene, I didn't need to do much, I just needed to imagine that I was back with dad, even thinking about it now made me shudder.
"Something wrong Lizzy?" Andy's voice interrupted my thoughts. I jumped a little.
"Wh-what, oh, yeah, I'm fine, just getting into character." It was then I noticed he wasn't smiling. He was frowning. And not the concerned frown that he had had that morning, but a frown that made it look as though he was about to cry. "What about you, are you alright?" I asked, placing my bruised hand on his. I had become a master at hiding winces, so his knuckles, visibly at least, didn't do anything. He suddenly hugged me tightly.
"I don't wanna talk about it, I just need a hug." He replied. I smiled a little and obliged. A little while later he was pretending to be asleep and Andrew and I were doing our refuge scene.
"Put the girl in with the crip." Mike 'forced' me onstage. I cried out as he pressed on one of my back wounds. The boys thankfully heard this about every night and just thought it was really good acting. I climbed, pretending to be weak, up the ladder to the bed Andrew and Andy rested on already. Andy was pretending to be asleep. As soon as Mike went offstage, I began my small bit of dialogue with Andrew.
"Oh my god, Ell, what'd dey do to ya?" (Bruiser's real name's Elly) I pretend to collapse into Andrew, it wasn't hard, I already felt pretty drained, and started 'crying'. I felt his arms around me."It's okay, it's gonna be okay, Jack'll come for us, I know it." There was nothing but the sound of my fake tears and sobbing for a little while.
"It urts Crutch, it urts real bad." I whimpered. He hugged me tighter."I don' wanna die Crutchie, I don' wanna die ere." I pretended to weep. The scene went on for a few minutes, I swore I could hear crying in the audience. I tried not to smile. If you're an actor and have a sad scene, and someone cries, you feel amazing. But obviously you can't show it.
"Awright Ell, get some rest." Andrew said with his accent. I nodded and laid by Andy's shoulder. He smiled a little at me and mouthed that I had done good. I smiled and signed thank you. It was the only bit of sign language I knew. He smiled and we both pretended to be asleep. Andrew started his song. "Dear Jack, greetings from the refuge."
After the bows, I felt both great and tired. I concluded it was time I had another sleepover at the theatre. Sometimes, if I was especially tired after a show, or too scared to go home, I would stay at the theatre and sleep in the bottom bed for Letter. But tonight, I had some obstacles to get through. Namely, the rest of the cast. Starting with, of course, my dressing roommates. I looked over at Ben and Andrew as they removed their makeup. Andrew left as soon as he could, saying something about a date with Scott, but Ben stayed. He looked at me.
"So, word is that a certain brunette girl and brunette boy were seen in the theatre earlier this morning, together, alooone." He smirked and I rolled my eyes. I flicked his forehead. He flinched."Ow!Damn Liz, you pack a punch for such a small person." He rubbed his forehead."Oh hey, The guys and I were wondering if you had any plans this weekend." I tried not to bite my lip as I thought bitterly, 'You mean other than being a human punching bag for my father?' I looked at him.
"I actually have a lot of homework to do this weekend, sorry Ben." I replied. He frowned.
"That sucks. well, anyway, I'll see you tomorrow, two show day baby!"He crowed. Two show days were my favourite. I smiled and he left a little while after. I waited until he and the rest of the cast had left. I ducked out of the dressing room, on my way to the showers. I washed off the concealer and let the warm water run over my scars. I sat down in the shower stall and looked at my mutilated body. I counted the many gashes and cuts that left marks on my skin and kept count as my eyes traveled the rest of my awkward 15-year old body. I stood up once more and turned the water off, wrapping myself in a towel and a bathrobe that was waaayyy to big for me. Probably belonged to Bres. I picked up my bag, changed into a t-shirt and sweat pants, and made my way down to the right side of the stage. I climbed into the bunk bed and settled onto the mattress, happy that I wouldn't have to deal with any of my father's blows when I woke up.
The next morning, I woke up and half expected to see darkness, but no, I saw Kara Lindsay's face, looming over me.
"AH!" I yelled. She lurched back as I shot up. "KARA, WHAT THE HELL?!"
"YOu shouldn't be the one asking questions Lizzy, why were you sleeping here?" She said, putting her hand on her hips. She always said that in the cast she was a sister, but when it came to the younger kids, like Andy and myself, she was one hell of a mama bear. I guess one thing I never had before meeting her. I rubbed my neck awkwardly. She sighed."Look Liz, if you're that tired after a show, just ask one of us to drop you off or something. Levon gives Andy rides home all the time." She sat down beside me as she spoke. I looked at her.
"I just don't like asking for help." That was an understatement.
"C'mon Lizzy, it's not like we'll make fun of you for asking." She said, bumping my shoulder with hers. I chuckled and lightly bumped back, ignoring the pain. She smiled and put an arm around me."Just ask next time." She said. I rolled my eyes in my head. Yeah, right, like I would get Kara to drop me off at home. I pushed away images of dad hurting her and tried not to shudder.
"Yeah, okay." I nodded. She smiled."Come on, two show day! I got a lot of chocolate if you're eager?" I smiled.
"When am I not?"
Later that day, I was waiting in between shows. Andrew and Ben were going to some restaurant with a few of the other guys and Scott, Andrew's boyfriend. I was reading my favourite book, The lightning thief, when I felt a chin on my head. I looked up to see Andy, his chest shaking with silent laughter. "What?" I asked.
"Nothing, except I've been knocking on your door for a few minutes now." I blushed in embarrassment.
"Oh..."
"I never knew you had glasses." He smiled and sat down beside me. I then realized I had my glasses on. I took them off and put them in my case.
"Just for reading." I shrugged. "Third pair this month." I sighed. I could have been using that money for food, but no, glasses were hella expensive.
"Ah, Good book then?" He asked, looking down at the pages, his head now on my shoulder. I chuckled and nodded."Oh, right, I was wondering if maybe next weekend, you might wanna come have lunch with me in between shows?" He asked, a little pink dusting his cheeks. I'm pretty sure that my cheeks turned scarlet.
"U-uh, s-s-sure, I'd like that." I nodded. He smiled and the pink in his beautiful little dimples that are just irr- No, stop, shut up brain. Long story short, his blush went from pink to red.
"Great work tonight Lizard." He smiled and ducked under the table to grab something or other. He didn't come back up for a few seconds. When he did, he was holding a little bottle of familiar looking pills. I paled as I realized they were my painkillers."Liz..what are these?" He said with a terrified glance in my direction. I tried to snatch the bottle away from him but he stood up and held the bottle above his head.
"Give them back!" I shouted.
"Not until you tell me why they're here!"
"I don't know, maybe they're Andrew's." I lied. He put his hands down.
"Okay, then why don't I call him and-"
"NO!"
"Then tell why you have these!"
"I just get headaches a lot, okay!" I lied. Ben looked at me skeptically.
"Then why don't you just take Aspirin?" He asked calmly.
"I don't know, they aren't as effective." I lied again. Ben was silent for a while.
"You be careful with these Liz, what if you had overdosed?" He said in the most serious voice I had ever heard from him. I looked down in shame and didn't give him an answer. I felt two arms around me and I found myself being hugged by Ben. "Just..be safe with these." He said quietly.