So yeah, I'm not the one for mainstream OTPs, and actually I shipped Kirsten/Fisher since like first episode. But then, I saw this conversation, and it had 'subtext' and 'double meanings' whritten all over it. So I thought: "Why the hell not?"
Title is a words from 'Radiohead - exit music'.
Please, bear in mind, that english is not my native language, so if you see, that I wrote something wrong - just let me know about it in the comments.
Maniac.
First time she sees him – it's on her university's parking lot. He just stands there and watches her, his deep eyes following her motions, his shoulders relaxed and a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Which is kinda creepy. He is creepy, and all… stalkery.
Yet, for some reason, he fascinates her.
(The fact that she seems to be into her stalker probably should mean that there's something wrong with her, but she knew that much already)
It's like she can't tear her eyes away, so she stares at him, full eye to eye contact, and his smile eases, becomes more soft and gentle rather than sarcastic, and Kirsten almost smiles back, but then…
She blinks and he disappears.
-o-o-o-
Second time, it's just a few days after she starts to work with a Stitchers Program. She stands in a line for coffee, when she turns and finds him standing right next to her.
He's acting like he doesn't know that she's there, and she wants to ask some questions like "What are you doing here?", "What are you doing?" and, most importantly, "Who are you?".
She doesn't say a word.
And then, he buys a coffee – just the way she usually drink it – and hands it to her with a small smile.
And before she can even open her mouth, he's gone.
-o-o-o-
He knows he's not supposed to do it, but he can't help himself.
Because he's a cynic, who knows a lot and doesn't feel much, and nothing surprised him for a very long time. Yet, the first time he lays his eyes at her, he's fascinated.
What's more important is the fact that this feeling doesn't go away even when he sees her for the second and third and fourth time.
And, seems, that no matter how many times he sees her, it's still there.
So he watches her from the shadows, secretly, sometimes letting her see him too.
It's wrong and unprofessional and wrongwrongwrong, but there's the thing.
He can't help himself.
And he kinda likes it.
-o-o-o-
Situation with coffee repeats, but this time, she has enough time to ask one question.
But instead of what she should be asking, she only manages to say one word.
- Why?
She looks at him with such curiosity, searching his face with her gaze, like she's hoping to find answers there, without him actually saying the words out loud.
- You need to trust that there are people who care about you.
-o-o-o-
Next time, she comes to the coffee shop earlier to be there before him. She opens the glass door, takes a breath and lifts up her eyes.
He's already standing in the line.
She marches into the line and stands before him and orders her own drink. Then, she goes to sit at the table without looking at him once.
Only because she wants to – oh, how she wants to look at him – and she's not supposed to feel this way, it's just not who she is.
He moves to sit with her across the table, his own drink in his hand, and they just sit there, staring at each other silently, trying to solve each other like a puzzle.
She's not stupid, she knows who he is, and there's plenty that she wants to know about the Stitchers Program, but she's not asking, knowing that he won't answer.
They silently drink coffee together the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and every other day.
After Martha dies Kirsten comes to coffee shop as usual – it's not like she needs his presence to comfort her, pfft, she's just really used to it by now.
Les never shows up.
-o-o-o-
Her heart actually sinks in, when she finds him in her house, and her knees are weak, and something buzzing in her head – but that's just consequences of a recent brainwashing, it's gotta be it, right? – and something tells her that their fall out of their pattern is not bringing any good news. Or, maybe, it's the fact that he says:
- So nice to finally meet you, Kirsten.
Like they've never met before. Like it was all just her imagination – and it's not, because her brain doesn't do things like that. Or, like someone's listening to this conversation.
And this time they actually talk – and it's actually pretty nice, talking to him – and she can ask anything she wants to know about the program, even if they are pretending throughout the entire conversation.
There's still some things, that makes sense only to them, though.
Like when he reminds her that there are people who care about her, and casually puts himself in the middle of that list.
- So… We just keep doing what we're doing? – she asks, and they both know that it's not about the program.
And no, she's not batting her eyelashes at him, nor does she flirt with him. Well, maybe just a little.
- Well, that's… That's worked for me, - he answers with a wicked grin.
And no, he doesn't flirt back. Well, maybe just a little.
-o-o-o-
When she comes to the coffee shop, he's not there, but there's an address written in the napkin that barista gaves her with her coffee, and she's 100% sure, she knows what that means.
And she's almost 100% sure, she will go there.
Because it's not that easy to find someone she likes to talk or just spend her time with.
Yep, that's all there is.