Everybody: HI AGENTKAZ!
This is a Harry Potter fanfic! It's set in the book! Isn't that great? So I can do with it what I want by slapping AU on it! This features some parodies (it's all part of being an arteest!) and it is not that serious.
Luke is a goth Gary-Stu gone wrong. As if he failed his Gary-Stu exams. He's rather nerdy, but not a genius. He is also conscious of various happenings, like the fact that he is stuck in a terrible stereotypical pseudo-gothworld and must fix it. So he's basically a good guy. You shouldn't hate him. Even if he has six names. He didn't want them!
1
Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge did not like any of his names.
But that was not of importance right now.
Nor was it of any importance that he had shoulder-length black-and-green streaked hair. Or that he was wearing clothes that wizards were not usually seen wearing: a black trenchcoat, a Phenomenauts T-shirt, old ripped black jeans, and tall black boots covered in straps and buckles. It didn't even matter that he was American.
Of course, what could be considered important was the fact that although he was a pureblood wizard, he was a blood traitor who spent most of his time reading Muggle books, listening to Muggle music, and using the Muggle internet. Despite this major detail, due to his combination of cowardice, average intelligence, and laziness, he was stuck in Slytherin by default.
This infuriated most of the Slytherins.
In fact, it became a sort of game for the new Slytherins, an initiation perhaps, to try and catch Lucian and drag him back to the big Slytherins for a little "fun".
This year was no exception. It was all orchestrated by Draco Malfoy and his cronies, of course.
"Why does this always happen to me?" Lucian groaned, exasperated, taking refuge in the only empty car there was in the Hogwarts Express at the moment. He was sixteen years old; he was going into his sixth year, and he thought this madness should have ended by now.
Well, it didn't.
The compartment door opened, and Lucian's head snapped toward the door, his pale green eyes staring daggers at whoever was intruding. Not that it would help. He whipped out his wand and pointed it toward the intruder.
Thickly-rimmed glasses before bloodred eyes stared out from a pale white face marred only by a lightning-bolt-shaped scar, framed by messy locks of ebony hair. The traditional wizard robes were artfully torn and worn over a black My Chemical Romance shirt and leather pants; his boots had even more metal attached than Lucian's did.
"Dude... Harry Potter? Is that you?" Lucian stammered, lowering his wand as he ogled the gloomily dressed incarnation of the Boy Who Lived... he certainly wasn't like this last year!
"'Course it is," black-painted lips set in a miserable frown mumbled.
"Holy crap, is it Halloween already?" Lucian rubbed his eyes and then blinked several times, hoping that the ghastly sight before him would depart. But alas, it was all too real. "What happened to you, man?"
"Nothing," the oddly-dressed Harry sighed. "Absolutely nothing. My life has always been a pit of deep despair, since childhood, when so tragically passed away those who loved me dear..." With that he raised up his hands, the tatters of his robes sliding up his arms to reveal line after line crisscrosses of scars.
"Dude! One scar was enough!" Lucian's pale eyes widened as he tried to take in this new Potter. His mind could not handle it. Meltdown. He screamed as hard as he could.
And then time stopped.
A gaseous figure floated toward the confused Lucian as the Hogwarts Express suddenly dissolved away, leaving him stranded floating in pitch-black.
"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" bellowed the featureless ghostly humanoid figure.
"Actually, it's just Luke Savidge. I dropped all that crap," Luke explained.
"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge!" the figure cried again.
"Dude, I just explained-"
"Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge! You were brought into this world to create pain, woe, and misery for those around you!" the spirit shouted.
"Oh, really. Great." Luke rolled his eyes. "What fun."
"BUT! You seem to have rebelled against that which you were created for, and somehow misery and woe have been brought in another way!"
"So whad'ya want me to do about it?"
The figure made a series of undistinguishable gestures. "Lucian Ashton Adrian Tobias Windowshade Savidge! You must find the evil source of this curse and destroy it, or you will live in this world forever!" The word "forever" repeated as the figure faded and the Hogwarts Express came back into view.
Luke closed his eyes.
"Aw crap."
It was one of those days.