Okey Dokey. I'm back.

After, like, a bajillion years. And this is the long awaited story (long awaited by me...) that I have been planning and writing and developing for about 2 years. Wait... *runs and checks* Yeah, two years. I planned on finishing writing the story and THEN publishing it, but I decided that since (in theory) you're all on summer break or something, I'm publishing the story now. I've written and about half the story, typed about a third, but have finished planning all my plots and twists and such.

There will be many twists. Many. Enjoy

Chapter 1, in which 3 Monkeys fling Poop, an Alarm Clock rings, and Sabrina eats Toaster Pikelets.

My eyes narrowed, as I dipped two fingers into the dark green paint. Slowly, I brought my painted fingertips across my cheek to make two warrior lines, repeating the action on my other cheek as well. I tied a camouflage bandanna around my head, and took out my paintball gun.

Puck had declared war. And war was what I, Sabrina Grimm, would bring.

I loaded my gun then climbed higher up the tree that I'd been hiding behind. Quietly, I watched and waited for the tell-tale stench of my arch-nemesis. I made sure that I was well hidden by the leaves of the tall oak tree, then perched down on a branch.

Quietly, I turned around in the tree, my gun ready to shoot. Where was he? Usually he'd have attacked by now… But there it was. I'd detected it; The stink of rotten food and body odour!

Suddenly, I felt something explode against the back of my head. Paintball...

"Crap!" I said, biting my lip as I turned around to see my attacker. Puck was kneeling behind a bush with the paintball gun in his hand, grinning like a maniac. An army of hooting chimpanzees bounced at his feet, applauding their master with squeals. I even saw a couple start flinging their own waste at the base of my tree.

"Prepare to be painted, Grimm!" He cackled, and then held down the trigger of his gun. Paintballs came pelting towards me, exploding as they met their impact. Some hit me, and burst open on my skin. Damn it, they hurt. But revenge would be sweet…

I grinned mischievously, leaping down from the tree with my gun. I aimed it towards Puck and shot three paintballs his way. His wings erupted from his back and he flew up and away, the paintballs only managing to skim his shoes. If he hadn't cheated, I would have gotten him in the face. I aimed my gun up at him, firing a few of the paintballs, but he was far out of range by then.

"Come down here and fight me like a real man, Stink-Breath!" I mocked, dropping my gun, and throwing out my arms.

"You're on, Ugly!" Puck shouted back. He tucked in his wings, and began to fall to the ground like a torpedo, zooming towards me with wicked speed.

"Oh no…" I grinned, then turned and ran. I threw off my heavy camouflage jacket, and sprinted as fast as I could. Just as Puck was about to hit the ground, he spread out his wings and veered up so that he was horizontal to the ground, now racing after me. There was no way I was going to outrun him- or out-fly him- and it wasn't long before Puck caught up to me, and lifted me off the ground by my armpits.

"Put me down you idiot!" I demanded, laughing hysterically as I struggled to elude his grip.

"No way, Grimm! You're just going to have to enjoy the flight until we reach our destination!" He was still laughing and grinning like a maniac, as we flew up and up and up into the clouds.

"Puck! You're going to hit the barrier, pigface! Put me down!" I yelled.

"Down, you say?" He asked, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Well, alright then!"

"WAIT! NO-" But I was cut off by my own screams as Puck let go of me, and I began to fall towards the earth.

"This is the end!" I thought as I plummeted to my death, "I'm going to die now! All because of my idiot best friend!"

Okay. Back-track. You're probably asking yourself, 'Why would Sabrina label Puck, the bane of her existence, as her best friend?' Well, let's go back 4 years, when we were twelve. We hated each other. I wanted him dead, and he wanted me dead.

Four years later, we're both 16, and he's my best buddy. My right hand man. His life mission isn't completely revolved around finding new ways to prank me and exotic colors to die my hair. He's not trying to kill me anymore! Or so I thought…

And this is where we zoom back to the reality of me tumbling down to earth. And who's the only one who can save me? The very stinker who dropped me.

So there I was falling to my death, my life literally flashing before my eyes, when Puck decided it was probably best if he didn't have to clean up the icky mess I'd make when I hit the ground below. Just as I was actually beginning to worry that he wouldn't catch me, two strong arms picked me up out of the air. Low and behold, I was actually alive.

Puck was laughing hysterically, "Did you see the look on your face?" He said, dropping me on the ground. "Priceless. Just priceless. I wish I had a camera."

And I bet you were hoping that he'd stopped pranking me. Well, we might have been best friends, but we could still have fun trying to mess each other's faces up.

I shook my head at him, smirking, "I'm gonna kill you!" I laughed, and began to chase Puck around the woods.

Now, readers, you must've also been thinking 'Gee whiz. Looky here. Sabrina Grimm is actually in a good mood. Around Puck. THEY'RE IN LOVE! PUCKABRINA 4 EVA! OMG! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO KISS? PUCK IS SO HAWT!

No.

Just no.

We were friends. Not lovers. Sure, in the future we were married, but that could change! And it probably already had. Because there was no way that I was marrying Puck. That would be weird.

Now that that's settled, we may move on.

BREEP BREEP BREEP!

Stupid alarm clock.

Painfully, I rolled over onto my back.

"I swear," I silently threatened, "If my alarm didn't double as a radio, I'd throw it's ass out the window, right after I'd finished smashing it with a very heavy hammer. Or a chainsaw."

"TIME FOR SCHOOL GET UP!" My sister's voice awoke me from the sleep I had re-entered and the dream I'd been having about a non-radio-alarm-clock that I could damage until the cows came home.

"!" I moaned, as I remembered that it was my absolute favourite-est day in the whole flipping week.

Monday. The end of all weekends. The rain on my parade. The pooper of my party.

But I was on probation. Probation after I'd knocked out stupid Jeb's teeth. He was being an idiot towards humans. Saying they were ruining the planet, and how badly he would exterminate every last one as soon as 'the stupid Grimms finally die out and he could be free of this stupid town.' What a jerk.

And so as the story of me punching him was passed on by word of mouth, it expanded from 'me punching him', to 'me threatening his life, then pushing him to the ground, and stomping down on his jaw'. It was a stupid story and even though it was unlikely, everyone backed up Jeb's side, because he was popular. And I wasn't.

So now I was on probation, which meant no more fights and also that I couldn't sleep in and be little more than five minutes late, or I'd be expelled from the only highschool in Ferryport Landing.

Over the last 4 years, things had gotten rapidly worse here. All the everafters had grown uncomprehendingly bitter towards humans, and especially sour towards the Grimms and all our associates. Nobody wanted to be friends with me or Puck. Humans at school were hung from ceiling fans by the underwear and had their heads shoved down toilets. Only a few of them knew why everyone hated them so much, and all the others didn't know what they could do about it.

And I guess that was the way the world was heading. Everyone was so damn conceited that they weren't focused on what impact they were making on other people.

But that's just life in Ferryport Landing.

"Get up, Brina! You can't be late for school! You know that!" Daphne reminded me.

Grudgingly, I dragged myself out of bed. I pulled on some clothes then walked downstairs to see what wonders Granny was cooking up. The operative word of the sentence being "see", because there was little chance that I was going to eat it.

See? I was still a negative person, despite my new-found friendship with Puck. Sorry, guys. You'll have to cancel all your celebrations.

The rest of the family was at the table already, eating what looked like black-yolk eggs with a fluorescent green mush at the side.

I sat down at the table, squinting at the meal placed before me. I decided that eating radio-active mush probably wasn't best for my immune system, pushed my plate over to Puck, then stood up to go make toaster pikelets. Yes. Shock and Horror. We finally got some normal food in the house. Courtesy of me.

Once everyone was ready, Daphne, Puck and I shuffled into the family death trap. If you're unfamiliar with this little nic-name, 'the family death trap' is our car. And how welcoming does it sound? Not very. Not in the slightest.

Uncle Jake slid an old rusty key into the car, and it awoke with a loud squeal/bang/roar kind of sound. Suddenly, it lurched forwards down the hill and we were off and ready for school. Yay.

I hope you guys don't mind the infrequent mild cussing. I don't know about America, but in Australia words like Crap, Damn and Hell are used frequently and go without punishment. Just tell me if that kind of stuff is really bad for you. It's easy to take out.

(1,907 words)

Thanks guys
-Elli
xoxo