A/N: Hello dear fans of the Fate series, welcome to the crazy world of my mind. This, as you can see, is a cross-over with ideas taken from Fate Stay Night/Unlimited Blade Works (because I like this one better than the normal series/rote) and Fate/ EXTRA. I must warn you that this is a kind of a teaser - I don't have any idea to where I'm taking it, let's see if I can get inspiration to keep it going.

Cross-over: Fate Stay Night/Unlimited Blade Works and Fate/ EXTRA.

Summary: Archer's master has made a "request" and now he was in an inexplicable and complicated situation. Cross-over: Humor. Language, OOC and mentions of naked bodies.

Warnings: Language, OOC, Mentions of naked bodies (maybe it could be classified as light sexual content/sexy times). Both heterosexual and homosexual content. Don't get your hopes up, I'm not one to write sex scenes or the likes, to be safe I always put harder warnings anyway. Be aware that I do love to mess around with the characters.

Disclaimer: I don't own the game, the anime or the likes.

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Unbelievable Fate

Chapter 1 – Prologue to misery

He couldn't believe it.

When his Master approached him to discuss about that Servant, to say he was uneasy is an understatement. That guy was pretty strong after all, maybe the strongest of Servants.

She had told him "I think an upright advance would be beneficial for us..." her tone said that she was hiding something, so he asked: "But that's not everything, is it Master?"

Then things started to get twisted. He had been having a bad feeling about this, he trusted his instincts… after all instincts and perseverance could get you anywhere. True to his guts, it wasn't everything and the situation got out of hand.

Which lead us to now: he was naked save for a small towel precariously attached to his hips. That, for itself, wasn't a great deal, no, where he was got the winning prize of freakishness: inside that guy's steam room.

To be honest that room could, instead, be called a bath room as it was big and had golden made water fountains with the shape of lions and a big bathtub. There was, of course, steam and benches, but it smelled of riches and spices, as it was really something that guy would have.

All in all the place screamed luxury and all the other deadly sins you could quote.

As he sat there, white hair plastered on his forehead and neck, toned and tan chest glistering with sweat and water and eyebrows on a tight frown, he drank some fine wine. He had to admit, at least that-individual-that-you-should-not-name really had some nice wine, though it did nothing to make the state of affairs even a little bit better.

Oh no, that couldn't be farther from the truth, he was pissed off. His gray eyes were fulled with irritation...

That damn Master of his…

"That little wimp!" he said out loud, voice heavy with feelings, he would pin her down and show her her place… unless she used another command seal.

Yes, as unlikely as it seems, she used it, commanding him to be there and do the deed. An ultimate stupid and silly… Whim.

Oh he wasn't happy.

When she had said that they would "assault" the King of Heroes' "vault" he replied (thinking about it now, maybe he shouldn't have said it like that) "No fucking way, crazy bitch". He knew he could be a little cynical, but had never, even before turning into a heroic spirit (guardian), used such coarse language. He wasn't really surprised that she fumed and used one of the seals.

And so he drank that sweet wine. He drank until he felt the room spin and sighed. At least this would make things a little… less troublesome.

Let's face it, he hated "that Servant's" guts. He, overall, hated all of that guy, but now he was bound by an order to do "that". "That" was something he had a hard time understanding why would his Master be curious about. He was an heroic spirit, a guardian, and "that" wasn't one of the things that he'd like to submit himself to.

As he awaited for his feared encounter, he looked around. The fellow had good taste and high standards, everything looked like if it wasn't plated in gold, it was some expensive and exotic tile. Now that he thought about it, even the spices he smelt on the steam must have been of high quality, as was the wine… though the smell also had something on it that left him restless. Well, he had drank too much, though he wasn't one to pass from drinking high amounts of alcohol, he did feel light headed and all.

Or would he pass out? Maybe he should try and test it… It was then, as he started to think about life's dilemmas, that the door opened and he wanted to kill.

… Maybe not really kill, as his intoxicated mind kind of liked what he saw, but certainly beat some sense inside that idiotic mind. Really, it was kind of unexpected what he saw and he got angry with himself that he felt relieved, for it was she and not him.

"What are you doing here, my dumb Master?" There was such bite on his voice that made his Master cringe. She, as himself, was wearing nothing but a towel that was barely big enough to cover her breasts and ass. As Archer took a step forward, she took one back, until she was pressed against an ivory pillar.

Aggressively, when he was close enough, he slammed his hand beside her head. She had been eying him, his chest and the lateral opening of the towel that hid his privates (wishing for ti to fall off), but when he was too close for comfort, she averted her gaze. She was small, definitely not the tallest woman he had seen, but she had those pit like brown eyes that could trap you in. With his other hand he took a hold of a lock of her long wavy brown hair and smiled.

"My beloved Master, care to explain this before I carry you out of this place as if you were a sack of potatoes?". She had been watching him take a hold of her hair, breathing faster as a multitude of fantasies coursed her brain but froze as he scolded her.

A chuckle was heard and the encounter he had been fearing for the most of his stay on that cursed place happened. "Don't be like that mongrel" said a voice much too close of him for comfort. As he turned around there was Gilgamesh, propped in another ivory pillar, in his all brilliant and unashamed nakedness, saved for his pure gold earrings and necklace.

The other Servant was blond, hair shining as golden as his jewels and red eyes burning with something that Archer didn't want to define. His naked, toned and fair chest glowed, keeping a goblet in his left hand, he smirked mischievously.

Archer hadn't been able to feel the other's presence until now, and that was dangerous. 'How long had he been here?'. How come he, of the Archer class, wasn't able to feel his presence? He was bound by a command seal to do what his master had asked of him, but he would be dammed if he let his master open to an attack of the extravagant Servant.

Calculating his approach, he asked the, for now, most obvious question: "Dare I ask you what does it all means, dear Master of mine?". His voice had a bite again, as he waited for the answer, he watched the other servant' every movement. Gilgamesh had left his place on the pillar to get near them.

That wasn't good, both of them were ranged fighters so the close proximity didn't sit well on his guts. Archer let go of his master's hair and corrected his posture, that earned him a laugh from the other as he stopped some steps away from them.

"I never tire to watch you, a faker, try stand on my way. It's… endearing." He changed the focus of the conversation to the Master who, even being the one to make the "deal", looked freaked out. "Tell me, child, how will it be? Did you do your part or shall I use the Chains of Heaven?"

Archer had forgotten about those cursed chains, he really was at disadvantage here, but before he could say anything, his Master did so. "Yes, I used a command seal and told him exactly what you've asked of me. I've prepared everything as per your instructions, King of Heroes."

The laugh that followed was bordering madness. Gilgamesh looked very pleased, Archer, on the other hand, looked scandalized and betrayed. He turned to see his Master again, gray eyes set aflame "Your little..." but before he could decide what to do, one golden chain bound his right wrist.

"I've told you to behave mongrel, now do you want to do it the easy or the hard way?"

Archer couldn't do more than take a breath and close his eyes, when he opened them again he saw his Master. Those brown eyes really were pits of pure darkness, as it turned out to be her soul.

What had they saved up on their sleeves for him?

...

To be continued.

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A/N: This fic started with me trying to pressure my beloved sister to make a drawing of the series for me, so I really don't know where I'm taking it… or even if I'll finish it. Also, I've put some inside jokes, so, dear sis, make my drawing so I can put it as a cover for this story s2

As you can see, I mixed the elements of both series to get Archer and Gilgamesh as Servants and Hakuno as a Master. That way I could put them in a position that allowed me to do what I just did even if I do try to keep it as close as how the series is as possible. Of course I abused of my "poetic liberty", I love doing so, but I hope it was enjoyable to read and thanks for reading it!