Astrid straightened herself as she apparated on to the sidewalk outside the Leaky Cauldron. The place was merry with music and drunken singing. Years of training to be an Auror and this was what she was reduced to, mediating drunks on weekends. She sighed and entered the pub, the music growing louder as she opened the door. Following her entrance was a bunch of cheers from wizards who thought the intoxicated cat calling was a form of flattery. Astrid was a seemingly young woman of 25 with fair skin, long blonde hair and clear blue eyes. She half smiled and pulled out the Auror badge, an expected hush fell over the men and they turned back to their respective parties. Astrid made her way to the bar and smiled to the barkeep.

"Where's the problem, Henry?" she asked.

"Broom closet," he smiled.

She nodded and made her way over to the broom closet Henry had mentioned. Unlocking the door and pulling it open, inside was a man with a dirty beard and ratty clothes. He looked at her with blue gray eyes and he smelled as though he hadn't bathed in weeks. "Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm Auror Astrid Bigelow. Who are you?" she asked calmly.

"It doesn't matter…I'm nobody now…"

"Who were you then?" she asked.

"I was a great author and adventurer…an Auror of the highest regard…at least I said I was… I don't know anything about myself anymore…" then he proceeded to sob.

"Okay…look…the folks here said you were being rambunctious and causing problems. They want you to leave. So I'm gonna have to take you out of the building but do you have a home to go back to…a friend to call? Anything?" she asked.

"Not a soul…"he said and his own response led him to cry harder. Merlin's beard she hated mopey drunks. Astrid sighed and ran a hand through her hair, she hated the idea of throwing him on the street. He could fall asleep on his back and choke on his own vomit or be mugged…oh curse her moral compass.

"Look, you tell me your name and I'll let you crash at my house," she said.

"Really? You'd do that for me?" He sobbed.

"Yes, if you tell me your name," she clarified.

"I think its Gilderoy or something," he said and the fact that he was so deeply confused about his own name concerned Astrid but that may have been the amount of booze in him.

"Alright Roy, let's get you home before this mob goes rogue and throws you out on your face."

"I used to have a pretty face…I've seen it before…all gone now…" he lamented and Astrid rolled her eyes. Getting him to his feet and steadying him before apparating out of the Leaky Cauldron and to her home in Diagon Alley. At the front of the building Astrid had to unlock the door with a magic key as the lock was enchanted so intruders couldn't use a spell and get in. But this meant she had to let go of half the strength she was using to carry the man and just as she let go with one arm did he fall to the ground like a limp noodle.

"Bollocks…" she muttered and unlocked the door. Readying herself to pick him up again, even with her afflictions perk, carrying dead weight was a challenge. Plus she wasn't tall, standing only about five foot seven and slender in frame. Somehow and very carefully she managed to get the drunken Roy to her room. She briefly considered putting him on the couch but knew her mother would probably go into a panic that some hairy hobo was in her home. So her room was the better option to avoid this threat. At first she dropped him on the bed and his weight and the momentum caused him to bounce a bit and land too close to the edge causing him to fall right off with a thud. This made Astrid sigh with frustration and it took three more tries for him to land on the bed and stay there.

Once on the bed, Astrid elected to get him out of the disgusting clothes he was in. Roy slipped in and out of sleep while this was happening. Each time he would comment on how he didn't think he'd get lucky tonight or how he hoped when he woke up tomorrow she wasn't a troll. Astrid ignored these comments and finished undressing him down. Lingering on the idea of keeping the underwear on but as they were wretched as well she knew it'd be beneficial for him to be in new ones. Now if there was ever a sight to turn a woman off of the thought of a man it's a man's parts when they haven't been washed in weeks. It made her nauseous so she moved quickly to her chest of drawers, pulling out clothes her last gentlemen friend left. Getting them on Roy and rolling him into the bed and onto his side to sleep.

The next evening Astrid awoke and got ready for her evening. Moving about the kitchen making tea with cream, honey and a small vile of something red. Roy had just awakened too with a pounding headache in a home that was unfamiliar and in clothes that weren't his. Hearing the movement in the kitchen he got up and followed it. The flat was nice enough with wood floors and old portraits of two women, one older maybe in her 40s or 50s and the other familiar to him and strikingly beautiful. The portraits were painted and had the subjects in garb of the 17th century. He thought it odd but continued on to the kitchen. In it was a young woman that he remembered vaguely undressing him and he cleared his throat. She turned around to him and he made the connection that she was the subject of the younger portrait, he didn't think much of it as everyone has their quirks and maybe hers was renaissance fairs and history.

"Good evening," she said quietly.

"Evening?" he asked and she nodded, "oh…I slept through the day?"

"Yes, you were very drunk," she said.

"I-I don't mean to be rude but who's clothes am I wearing?" he asked tugging at the shirt a little.

"Former lovers," she said.

"Oh and did we…?" he trailed off with the question.

"You don't remember?" she asked acting disappointed.

"Well no…I can't say I do…" her eyes went sad and he felt bad, "But I'm sure it was one of the best nights of my life…I mean you are quite stunning and-" his words trailed off again as she cracked a smile and sipped her tea, "we didn't sleep together did we?"

"Nope," she replied.

"Then what am I doing in your house? And who are you?"

"I'm Astrid Bigelow and I got a call at the Auror office that a brawl had broken out at the Leaky Cauldron. I was sent to escort you off the premises."

"Bloody hell…I went home with an Auror…" he breathed, "and you just took me in…why?"

She shrugged, "I couldn't leave you on the street with a clean conscious. Do you want some coffee? Tea? I'm about to make some sausage and eggs if you like."

"Tea would be excellent and food sounds wonderful actually," he smiled and sat down. While she moved about the kitchen he noticed her tea and took note that it had a reddish hue to it but shrugged it off as a raspberry cream of some kind. There was a comfortable silence in the flat while Astrid cooked that was shattered as the door opened and closed. Footsteps carried in with the click of heels a woman in her mid 50s with golden blonde hair and sharp features. Her eyes were the same light shade of blue as Astrid's but the two were very different.

"Good evening darling," she said and Astrid turned to her with a cup of the same raspberry tea she was drinking.

"Evening," Astrid replied.

It took several seconds for the new woman to notice the hairy man sitting at the table watching them. The woman looked at him and furrowed her brows then looked at Astrid, "Darling please tell me this is work related or did you really get desperate enough to sleep with a homeless man?"

"Its work related," Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Alright, just checking," she said and approached him, "Diana Bigelow, Astrid's mother."

"Gilderoy," he said nodding.

She furrowed her brows again which made him feel as though he had done something to offend this elegant looking woman. Her eyes examined him for a time and he didn't know how to react. Diana then left the kitchen and went upstairs. Roy looked at Astrid, "did I do something wrong?"

"No, she's just like that," Astrid replied gave him a serving of eggs and a pair of sausages. Serving herself and sitting down across from him. Moments later Diana came back down with a stack of books and plopped them on the table. Taking one she opened it to the back where a moving picture of the author smiled at them. Diana pointed at the man in the picture.

"Is this you?"

Roy took the book and looked at the cover then at the picture, "yes."

"I knew you looked familiar," Diana said triumphantly.

"I barely see a resemblance," Astrid shook her head, "how did you make that jump from him to him?"

"The eyes darling," she replied to Astrid then looked back to Roy, "You're Gilderoy Lockhart!"

"Yes…so I've been told," he said not looking up from his eggs.

"You don't sound too happy about that," Diana said.

Astrid looked up at him, he seemed ashamed about who he was, "are you alright?"

His eyes left the eggs and met hers, "I don't actually remember it…"

"What?"

Roy sighed, "Years ago, when I was the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts I used a memory charm on myself by accident. That has a weird and damaging effect on you…not knowing who you are…"

Astrid nodded but he didn't know why. It wasn't like she could relate, "I went a little loony and they put me in St. Mungo's and there they tried to reverse the charm but it didn't work. So people began telling me all I had done. To say the least, I was very impressed with what great feats I had conquered. So after a few years, I gained some civility and wished to go out in the world again, you know make more memories. As I was back to normal, they let me go."

"So what happened to make you like this?" Diana asked.

"I was walking about Diagon Alley looking for a place when I saw Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley."

"Did you know it was them?"

"No, not really but they recognized me and approached. We chatted and the conversation eventually came to the subject of my deeds. I asked if they remembered my books and the great things I did. They laughed muttering something about me not really remembering anything about the real me."

"The real you?" Astrid asked.

He sighed, "I didn't do any of it."

Diana gasped in shock, "none of it? It was all fiction?"

"No, worse, it happened but it wasn't me who did it. I would stalk Aurors and detail their feats then wipe their memories to take credit…" he admitted.

"Merlin's beard…" Diana said but Astrid stayed silent.

"I was so ashamed, I was told I had no skills and I'm completely useless. So I turned to booze… that way I didn't have to feel anything."

"But you are something…" Astrid said, "You wrote those books. Your books were stories that yes you didn't do, but you wrote out in your own voice. That takes talent."

He scoffed a little, "not much."

"I bet you could write more, this time just don't say they were true stories."

"No, I'm useless…" he protested.

"You know I bet if you cleaned up your act, shaved, bathed and got off the bottle, you might be able to go back to Hogwarts and study. You know for real and maybe you could become just as good at other magical talents as you were with memory charms," Astrid offered.

"In fact, Astrid has taken a job as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this coming year," Diana said, "she could probably grease the wheels for you to get in and take some classes."

"Would you do that for me?" Roy asked Astrid.

"I don't see why not," Astrid said.

"Wait…why are you leaving the Auror office?"

"I have a condition that makes it hard for me to work there," she replied.

"Oh so you what, slept with the boss or something? Made things awkward," he asked.

"Yeah sorta," Astrid said.

A hush fell over them and Astrid took the dishes and washed them. She pulled out a wand that looked ominous to him, it was black some sort of dark wood and it had a strange grip, it looked black but when the light hit it, a green and purple tint revealed itself. The grip looked like a brewing deadly potion bubbling and every inch or two was a small patch of melted aged silver. It was a wand that made him think maybe something wasn't all peachy about Astrid or Diana. Maybe they were dark wizards posing as an Auror and her mother. He didn't know but he wanted to. With their late breakfast out of the way, Astrid drew him a bath and set out a towel and fresh clothes. He washed himself for the first time in god knew how long and he dried off. Wrapping the towel around his waist he started to crave a drink. He looked at the sink seeing the razor she'd left him to shave. Picking it up he realized his hands trembling a little. He couldn't shave like this, poking his head out he called for Astrid. A moment later she came to him.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Can you maybe shave me? My hands are…" he showed her his hands.

"Oh yeah, sure…" she said and came into the bathroom. Gesturing for him to sit while she mixed the shaving cream, he watched her carefully. She couldn't be a dark wizard, could she?

"Did you go to Hogwarts?" he asked.

"Yes."

"What house were you?"

"Slytherin," she replied.

"I see…actually no I don't see you being in Slytherin," he said as she began to trim the beard.

"No one ever does," she said, "but I'm resourceful, I'm cunning, ambitious, Diana says I'm clever. Not all Slytherins are bad people."

"I suppose," he said, "so I take it you're pureblooded?"

"Yes, the Bigelow family tree is a pure family," she replied.

"I'm halfblooded so I'm told," he smiled, "they were so proud of me."

"I bet," she smiled beginning to put the shaving cream on his face.

He went quiet while she shaved his face. Enjoying the focused look in her eyes as she was carefully shaving his face, he couldn't remember but he was sure he'd never had a woman be with him like this. Astrid had seen him at his worst and was okay with it. Back when he was Gilderoy Lockhart the great Auror and author, he probably slept with fans and the like and that felt empty to him. But this, a woman shaving his face and being so caring of him was leagues more intimate than any romp in the sack could ever be.

"There you go," she smiled kindly down at him, "Now I see the resemblance to the picture."