A/N: Hello. This is the first fanfic I've felt brave enough to post so... Enjoy reading.

Chapter 1: Goodbye

I felt a heavy sensation on my body when I felt myself lurch out of the deep sleep I was in. It was a sensation that I was never fond of every morning, but it was so much more pronounced today. I felt as if I couldn't get up, that it was sleep itself that drained my energy. Then, I felt the rays of the sun hit my eyes, forcing them to open. My vision was blurry and the rays were visibly cutting through my bedroom window and they were orange. It felt slightly wrong seeing that light, for most of my mornings were dark.

Weird… Probably must've overslept. I turned to my alarm clock, which read seven in the morning.

I sighed from reading that, I had indeed overslept today. Normally, I would be panicking waking up at this hour, but my obligations to school were at least over. It registered to my mind that it was summer, and I no longer needed to wake up early. With my anxieties rested, I got up and walked up to my closet. However, as I looked through the pile of haphazardly organized articles of clothing, I had realized something… There was a significance to today, something important was going to happen, but I had no idea what.

Then, it hit me…

My sister, Alexis, was going to leave today. Today was the day of her Pokemon journey, she would no longer be in this house, she would be off in the world. When I had realized that fact, a cold feeling of emptiness washed over me. The realization that she'd no longer be here had almost knocked me to the floor, but I had to take control of myself. I had known this was coming… It had been her dream to raise and train Pokemon, I was in no position to refuse her that chance for my own comfort, yet... I just didn't realize it would hit me so hard…

I heaved a sigh, and tried to grab the nicest set of clothes I had. A sports coat, pair of jeans, and a flannel shirt. It was definitely not something to wear for a journey and perhaps too ostentatious… But I was hoping that Oak's lab would get the message that I would not be a trainer. Today was Alexis' day and it should be rightfully hers alone. I grabbed my clothes and stowed away to the bathroom as quick I could, in the hopes that I wouldn't wake anyone.

I had felt a lot more anxious that I should've today. My mind and body were in absolute overdrive. I had brushed my teeth with more force than I intended, I got through my shower a lot more quickly than I imagined. I put my clothes on and I surprisingly felt refreshed, but somehow, things still felt off.

The whole situation was maddening, and the fact that I was letting it affect me more than it should didn't help matters. Alexis was going to leave, and nothing else would change… Nothing else would change. Nothing else will change. I kept repeating to myself, but each repetition grew more weak and weak… Things were going to change, and in the bottom of my heart, I knew they weren't for the better.

Regardless, I needed to spur myself on… I went back to my room, which looking at it from a visitor's standpoint, felt incredibly small now. Thankfully, the smallness of my bedroom made it easy to navigate, since the room was an absolute mess. Haphazardly folded clothing and crumpled papers was strewn everywhere, and it was incredibly disorganized. My bag was lying against my bed, half opened, possibly from the stupor I had felt from the last day of school. I glanced at the alarm clock and sat down on my bed, it was half an hour before eight. I had time to kill before my parents and sister wake up.

I felt a bit of a growl hit my stomach as I was about to space out and stare at my closet door. Damn it, I had to be hungry now. I contemplated just sitting there and let my hunger play out until lunch… I was used to my body reacting like this, and thusly my breakfast cycles were incredibly sporadic. However, I knew that my parents would be more alert than usual since this would possibly be the last time that their daughter will see them face-to-face, aside from the holiday visits. I was tempted to let my mother handle breakfast duty, but my father had to have the talent of a voracious and taste catching eater… He'd notice and the consequences would be dire if I abandoned my duties.

I glanced at the alarm clack, it was now 20 minutes from 8. I was wasting time thinking. It was looking like breakfast was going to be a rush job. Crap… I scurried around my room for my phone and shoved it into my jeans. I seemed to be really out of it this morning, and this would not bode well later in the day when Alexis was gone, but I couldn't think about the future, it was imperative that I try to fix something up before mom, father, and Alexis woke up.

I made a mad dash out of my bedroom and into the kitchen downstairs. Compared to my little, dinghy room, the house was very spacious. It had all the amenities you could think of for an upper class family, a nice TV, large living room, and a kitchen with a whole bunch of utilities that had, in the past, saved my life and cooking from disastrous to tolerable. Thankfully, the house wasn't a maze and I made my way into the kitchen, which I found was already pre-prepared with all the materials I needed to make the whole family's breakfast.

It was probably my mother who set up all of this, and if she did, I made a mental note to thank her before I left for Oak's lab. This would've saved me half an hour at the least, since the kitchen pantries were sometimes arranged in confusing combinations. I also found directions for how to prepare the breakfasts for my mother and father and followed them to the letter. I still question why the both of them, especially my father, had insisted on making breakfast such a gourmet affair…

I sighed and worked on my father's breakfast first. I grabbed a stack of pancakes from one of the prepared boxes and put them on a plate. I checked back on the directions, and had to grab some berries from one of the kitchen drawers. I grabbed a bag of blackberries that were purely human grown for human consumption, since father did not like berries that were fed for Pokemon. I then put a few blackberries on father's pancake stack, which thankfully, there were only three pancakes. I grabbed some syrup that was next to the box and poured a helping of it onto the pancakes. That was the first part done, so I glanced by at the instructions again. An omelet, are you serious, an omelet? Aren't blueberry pancakes with syrup enough?

I followed the instructions to the letter and set the frozen omelet to the microwave. I concentrated on watching the food turn until I heard footsteps. I felt my body tense and I immediately turned around… Upon seeing the figure, I relaxed, but I felt myself also becoming incredibly empty. It was Alexis, all ready in her trainer attire. I felt a certain pang of pain hit my heart but I needed to concentrate, so I put on a smile on my face.

"Hey, do you need anything?" I asked of her.

She looked pensive for a moment, it was likely she saw through my façade. Nevertheless, she had approached near the instructions.

"Do you want me to prepare Mom's breakfast?" She offered, and that took me aback a little bit.

I couldn't ask that of her, and father would have my head if she had to do chores alongside me. However, I desperately needed the help.

"Where are…" I started to ask.

"They're in the shower, we still have time. I'll skip out on mine if I have to." She replied, a smile on her face as she began to work on mom's food.

"N-no… I'll prepare yours for you, I'll skip out. He'll get… Angry…" I tried to whisper that last part, but it was clear she heard.

Alexis was about to ask me who was 'he,' but a look of realization dawned on her face. She then went back to preparing the food and the beeping of a finished microwave blared throughout the room. At the signal, I immediately opened it and set on putting the blueberry pancakes and omelet on one plate. I grabbed a big plate and tried to neatly put transfer the food, but some of the contents of the freshly heated omelet had to leak out, leaving a small mess on the kitchen counter.

It had almost sent me into a panic, but I immediately grabbed some paper towels to clean the mess… I had no idea how much time had passed, or if our parents were about to come from their shower. I set father's plate on the table as I then had to reassess myself. I heard the showers turn off and that sent my heart off racing again. Alexis' breakfast had not been started yet.

Ugh, why do I have to be so incompetent at everything!? I mentally screamed at myself, but thankfully, preparing my sister's breakfast was easy. I literally shoved some pancakes onto a plate and then put some bacon, and then shoved it into the microwave. It was a very messy combination and I was hoping that she wouldn't notice my rush job, but she did.

"So I get shafted on the day I set off from my journey? Hurts." She said, an expression of fake hurt on her face.

I was tempted to scoff, but I was more worried about getting the table ready. Once her food was done, I yanked open the microwave and almost dropped it since it was hot. I set Alexis and father's food on the table as she set mom's… I let out a sigh of relief, we were done. I sat down to the chair next to Alexis' on the dining table and she was intently eating.

It was then that I heard my parents coming downstairs. I looked to Alexis and she seemed to understand that I needed to leave. I silently excused myself from the table and obediently set myself near the wall as both father and mother walked to the table. Once I heard the seats being filled, I quickly made haste for upstairs, not wanting to face father's wrath.

I then went to my room, closing the door as I sat myself down on my bed. I enjoyed these momentary bouts of silence, where I could let my thoughts run without having an audience. I read the clock, it was 30 minutes before nine. The Oak lab was due to open and soon, both my sister and I would be walking there. However, even then, I felt no change… Just this lingering emptiness hanging above my head. I needed to relax…

I felt myself space out, staring into the wall. I started to feel time escape my grasp. It was a surreal feeling, but a feeling I savored. Perhaps it was indicative of a sad and pathetic life, but the ability to be able to clear your mind of all the worries felt like a luxury. I felt my concentration breaking when I heard a knocking on the door, then its creaking, revealing it to be my sister.

"Claude, it's time. Get ready, they're allowing you to come." Alexis announced, walking away but leaving the door open.

I was left staring at the door until I had to get my bearings. It was weird hearing my name being said, but nonetheless, I had to heed the fact that it was time to go. I stood up and immediately exited the room, it was going to be a short trek, there was nothing for me to bring.

Once I saw Alexis waiting by the staircase, I walked downstairs with her. It felt excruciatingly slow, almost agonizing to a point. Once we reached the landing, I could see my father and mother, but their eyes were all focused on Alexis today. Then, she ran and hugged them. A small smile crept on my face as I watched the scene, it was as if a different family had taken the place of the family I was used to. She hugged mom first, and then went onto father. I felt a pang and perhaps some bitterness in my heart as I watched the tender way that my father treated and hugged Alexis. Regardless, once the scene was done, Alexis waved the both of them goodbye and I dutifully followed her to the front door.

As soon as Alexis was out of their view and I was in front of them, the father that had hugged her was no longer gone, replaced with one I was familiar with, the one I feared with all my life… I turned around and saw my father giving me an intense glare. I felt myself frozen in place from my father's glare, I felt my body tense up and I felt unaware my surroundings.

It wasn't until Alexis had shaken my arm that I was brought back to reality.

"Are you alright, Claude? Come on."

I turned my head away from father and to Alexis when she said that. I had felt dazed and I felt myself about to give out, I needed to get out. Thankfully, she had opened the door in my stupor. I had walked out in a rush and waited for her on the dirt road… She had a confused expression as she walked down, and I felt a touch of guilt when I saw that. Once we were together, we began the walk to Oak's lab.

"What was that about? You looked really scared…" Alexis asked, our pace slowing when she asked that.

That almost stopped me in my tracks, and I felt my heart warm up to the amount of concern she showed, but I felt guilty. She shouldn't be concerned about me, she was about to start what she has dreamed of for years.

"I… Don't worry about me. Today's your day, I'll be fine, now come on." I replied back, trying to shoot down whatever question she had.

Alexis seemed to be satisfied with that answer, and so we kept on walking. Thankfully, Pallet Town, our hometown, was small. It made the trek to Professor Oak's lab easy on the legs and there didn't seem to be that many people outside. Perhaps we came in too early…

"Were we too early?" Alexis asked, mirroring my thoughts.

"Maybe we should ask." I shot back quickly, I wasn't about to go back to the house and start waiting.

Alexis didn't seem to mind my answer, so she led the way to the entrance. I followed her, hoping that it was open, and to my relief, Oak's lab was indeed open. I entered the lab and took in the sights… It felt surreal to be here, perhaps it was because I was older now, three years older than what a starting trainer would be. However, I noticed that there was a group of three Pokeballs, the starters, and Alexis was about to pull off the cover lid until.

"Ah, the Sheffields! Hello Alexis, and hello to you too Claude!" Oak's voice broke me off from my reverie.

I waved to him slowly, too stunned to speak.

"Hello Professor Oak." Alexis responded for the both of us.

"I presume you are here to retrieve your starter Pokemon, right? Well, here they are!"

Oak walked over to the closed Pokeballs. He grabbed all three of them and unveiled the Pokemon inside. After a brief flash of white light, the forms of Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander were there, all staring at Alexis. I saw her contemplate the three for minute, then set her sights on the small blue turtle.

"I choose Squirtle." She said, an air of confidence in her voice indicative that she made the right decision.

"Good! I'll give you Squirtle's Pokeball and I'll also grab a Pokedex for you as well. So, are you going to give Squirtle a nickname?" Oak asked.

This prodded Alexis to go in thought once again.

"Hmm… Maybe Noel?"

The whole scene had made my heart warm, but a certain part of me couldn't bear watching it… There was an emotion inside of me that I feared would pop up, and I had no excuse or even a right to display or even feel it, but I felt jealousy. I felt those pangs of jealousy when I saw Alexis hug her new Squirtle in happiness. Sure, it made me happy that she was finally experiencing what she had waited for. All I could do was muster a smile when she looked at me with joy. However, I felt something tug at my legs…

I looked down, it was the Bulbasaur from the group of starters. I presume that Charmander was probably back in the pokeball, but I was surprised that any pokemon was attracted by my presence. Once it knew that it caught my attention, the grass-type looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Bulba…" It softly said, its eyes still gazed at my direction, still pleading for something.

I knelt down to the Pokemon, unsure of how to respond to it.

"Ah, it seems this Bulbasaur wants to come with you, Claude!" Oak announced.

That jolted me away from the seed pokemon to Oak, who had already gave a Pokedex to Alexis and I could see another one in his other hand. I became confused, but then I realized what the Bulbasaur wanted… It wanted to come with me…

"Claude, it likes you." Alexis said, walking over to me and the Bulbasaur, as was Oak.

"I… I…" I couldn't say anything.

Something like this should not have stunned me in silence, but… As a child, I had always held this belief that Pokemon always sought out the strongest humans as trainers, especially trainers. I was never someone strong, certainly not physically, and certainly not emotionally or mentally. It was part of the reason I never decided to become a trainer… I thought I wasn't strong enough.

It had been once my dream to be a trainer. Inside, I wanted to take this chance, but… Something inside me told me no, that I should let another trainer take this Bulbasaur on a journey. I had no idea what to do…

"Alexis is right." Oak suddenly affirmed, catching my attention.

"I know you have your reservations, but I know deep inside that you want to be a Pokemon trainer. It seems like a great undertaking, but I have faith that you'll persevere." There was silence, as Oak kneeled down in front of me…

I knew what he was going to ask…

"Are you willing to be a Pokemon trainer, Claude?" Oak asked, with a finality in his voice…

I had no idea how to respond, nor how to react. Here it was, what I wanted for so long, but inside, I didn't feel ready. I had nothing packed for a journey, no food, no bag, nothing… I had nothing. I looked to my sister as well, she was smiling, willing me to say yes. I couldn't bare to look at that smile any further… I would only slow her down if I accepted, I would be a load, a nuisance in the journey. I looked down at the Bulbasaur, then to the floor… I knew what my choice was now.

"I… I can't." I said, my voice a faint whisper.

There was silence, I glanced at Oak… He was clearly disappointed, but something had told me that he had expected that answer.

"Oh… I hoped you would've said yes. I understand why, but that Bulbasaur and you would've made a great fit." Oak mustered, trying to inject some positivity into the whole situation.

"Anyway, you two best be off now, I'm pretty sure other kids are waiting. Come on, Bulbasaur!" Oak waved to the Bulbasaur to come over, and it hesitantly walked over to the professor.

"Thank you, Professor Oak, and goodbye." Alexis said, waving to the professor as he waved back. I followed suit.

"You are welcome, Alexis… May you have a safe journey. Claude, please reconsider." Oak pleaded at the end.

As I exited the lab with my sister, I had thought about Oak's words… It's likely that Bulbasaur would've been claimed by a trainer in the near future, and that thought made me sad. I wanted to take care of it, but I had made my choice, and I was stuck with it… I wondered if I would ever see it again. Perhaps that Bulbasaur would be in better hands. I convinced myself that the decision I made was right, and repeated that mantra… Bulbasaur will be in better hands… Bulbasaur will be in better hands…

The walk to the entrance to route 1 was agonizingly slow and she had let her new Squirtle, Noel, out to enjoy the walk. I saw the starter glance at me every once in a while, looking at me with apprehensive eyes. As Alexis, Noel, and I walked, I glanced at the blue turtle with a blank expression, but he didn't seem to be looking.

We reached the border between Pallet Town and route 1... This was it, the goodbye. The moment I had dreaded all year, the moment that I didn't want to face. Surprisingly, I was calm about it. I faced Alexis with the strongest expression I had, but I knew she could see past it. For whatever walls and dams I had built inside me, I wasn't ready to let her go…

"Well… This is goodbye…" Alexis started awkwardly.

I nodded, not knowing how to react… My walls had started to crumble and emotions began to grip me. I hadn't wanted to react like this…

"Claude…" She softly said.

I felt myself enveloped in a hug as I laid my head on her shoulders, quietly sobbing. In that moment, the full gravity of Alexis' leaving had hit me. These months of conditioning and reminding myself that Alexis would be leaving never helped… After a few seconds, I managed to get myself back together, just sniffles in my face as I pulled back from my sister.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have… I didn't mean to…" I started to say, but she put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, brother…" She replied, smiling.

That prompted me to hug her again, but I had a better hold on my emotions this time… From the corner of my eye, I could see Noel reacting a little bit to the scene, thought in a way that was grudging.

"Stay safe, Alexis. Be strong… Go out there and show them what you can do." I whispered to her.

"I will, I will, you don't have to worry about me. Maybe next year you could be doing this." Alexis whispered to me.

That garnered an instant chuckle from me.

"Sis, you know how I am with Pokemon…" I responded.

We pulled each other from the hug and I waved goodbye to her and Noel… I watched them both walk away into Route 1, leading to Viridian City. It was weird seeing their outlines get smaller and smaller. I heard the sounds of 10-year olds behind me and I turned around, they were running to the place I was in.

I took that as my cue to leave, but I turned around one last time. Alexis and her Squirtle were gone from my eyes, possibly in Viridian City now. With a deep breath, I turned to the direction of Pallet Town.

I would have to face my parents now… Alexis would no longer be there to comfort or rescue me. The empty feeling from this morning had returned, except it felt stronger this time. It slowed my pace down, I was instinctively delaying the walk back to my house…

Yet, as I saw the trickle of kids, new trainers, run down to Route 1... The pain erupted there, and it blew me down to my feet…

For the first time in a while, I felt alone…