The pain caused in my past has hurt me so bad I decided to write a more recent pain that never goes away, nor shall it ever.
Chrismukkah at the Cohen's
It takes great pain to wake up in the morning with no clue of what happened the night before and then curiously turning over to check the phone and see your name flashing. More chores to do today all made under your command but I regret saying I would do anything, turns out that all I am to you is... nothing.
Walking through the school hallway my heart beats slower as if I was to suddenly black out on the floor there and then about to grope my heart in a rapid pain, but the problem that kept me going was the people surrounding me. Their squeaky two-faced voices echo around me as if its something they don't want me to forget and one of them... was you.
Its bad enough to hear just your name or something you did or someone you fooled around with because its as if you physically claw out my insides. I hear voices inside my head telling me to forget you and that I'm worth more but I deny those thoughts and keep my head up only to be rejected once more. People make rumours as if they want to hurt me badly hoping I would turn suicidal but they are wrong as much as I hurt I shall never stoop to those levels no matter how bad.
I can feel something weird in my pocket, reached inside and it was my phone getting a call from you, but I had to reject it because the pain was just too much. Speaking on the phone, instant messaging on msn or even messages and comments on myspace were all way too much for me to handle. Your love is like a poison in a bottle, we met and you first handed me the filled up bottle and silently said "drink up" so I did. Since then it feels like every time I hear your name or see you in the street or something that some how relates to you I feel pain throughout my body.
The problem with this poison is the fact it will never go away it infects me like a knife slit to the throat I.e. Instant death.
There is a cure for this, but only you have it and by you touching me with thy lips shall it be destroyed. My faith and hope you shall do that is below negative causing me to be in utter destruction, depression and a state of insanity.
If only knew how much you meant to me, only to give me a chance and show we could be together, ignore the faults that are so vain and concentrate on the positives.
I shall wait forever...
You are my December Wish...
My poison love...