A/N: Bella's a Mary Sue. The whole story doesn't revolve around Twilight, but it has Twilight in it. OOCness.

"Life sucks," said Sympathetic Sue. "My parents died in a car accident when I was two, and I was raised by my Aunt who hated me. I had no friends before I met you people. In my old neighborhood, people bullied me-."

"That's just horrible! You poor thing. I couldn't survive if that were me," Purity Sue said dramatically. Cue the sparkly flowers.

"Shut the hell up. Both of you," said Jerk Sue. "You both annoy the freakin' crap out of me."

"Don't talk like that," Purity Sue said. She then gave Jerk Sue a huge hug.

"Get the hell off," Jerk Sue yelled. "I don't want to see you ever again." Jerk Sue stormed off angrily.

"She's such a grumpy wump. I'll talk to her later," Purity Sue dismissed with a wave of her hand. "Now, where was I? I remember feeling sorry for you," Purity Sue said. "Let us continue. Now how did they bully you?" Sympathetic Sue stared at Purity Sue, and thought, "She must be a sadist."

Meanwhile, Bella Swan was getting ready for her date with Edward Cullen.

"I'm so pretty," BS thought.

"Hello," Edward Cullen said. "Are you ready for some more abuse today?"

"Of course I am," BS said excitedly. "I love anything that involves you."

They walked out the door. BS tripped over her own beauty, and landed on the floor.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Of course I am," BS said excitedly. "As long as I'm with you."

On the way to the unimportant place they were going, they met Purity Sue, who had a trail of flowers behind her.

"I've always wanted to meet someone who sparkled even more than me," Purity Sue said sweetly. "Where do you buy that amazing body glitter? The Gay Vampire store? I love that store. It's my favorite."

"OMG," said Edward. "I totally love that store. We should be BFFLs. Bella won't mind, will you love?" Edward asked Bella.

"Of course I am," BS said excitedly. "I love you."

The Gay Vampire store was known as "Gay V." It was very popular with girls because of its amazing make-up and accessories, and of the chances of actually meeting a gay vampire in the store.

After

BS and Edward Cullen walked out of the private community of Sue Society. But you couldn't really call it walking because Bella was tripping every five seconds.

"I think we should have underage sex," suggested Bella in a very excited manner; her face was dripping blood.

"Of course, love," Edward said. "But could you please help me rub on my body glitter? Purity Sue gave me this one."

Somewhere in the middle of Hell, an incredibly retarded goff girl was writing. The moment she discovered the internet, Hurricane Katrina started, and ended up killing 1,836 people.

A/N: How was that? Bella Swan's intials are BS. Lol. Plz review.

The BS and gay vampire belong to SM. Review Plz. 3 reviews until the next chapter. Do strikethroughs show up?