Chapter One: Their Stories
All of the Akatsuki members are backstage of the Mary show and everyone of them are wondering the same question. WTF ARE WE DOING HERE!?!?!? and the only one who knows whats going on is their leader, Pain and Konan.
Maury: Today on the Maury Show we have several guests today, they are the elusive Akatsuki organization. We will get to meet them all, and the first two are the Akatsuki leader Pein and his partner Konan. (Camera zooms on Pein and Konan) Now Pein, Konan tell us why are you two here? (Camera on Pein)
Pein: Thats Leader to everyone except Konan, Got it? (Maury laughs and says okay) Well Maury the Akatsuki are here today to find out who the father if an infant that was left on our door step.
(Camera on Maury)
Maury: Now a baby was left on your door step and you think one of you, the Akatsuki could be the father?
Leader: Yes, because of a letter found with the baby now just let me read it. (Maury gives the okay to read it)
"Dear Akatsuki I don't have much time left but one of you, I'm not sure who, is the father of my baby I leave him your capable hands. Signed (Name Blurred)" (Camera on Konan)
Konan: After receiving the letter we had easily tracked down the one who sent it but she died shortly after dropping the kid off, and she had never given the kid a name so each one of us had given him a name, after disputing for a while we decided that who ever the father was would get to name him. (audience and Maury laugh) (camera on Maury)
Maury: And Konan since you are the only women in the entire Akatsuki organization that would make you the boys mother? (Camera on Konan)
Konan: I guess? (Audience and Maury laugh) (Camera on Maury)
Maury: Well lets not wait any longer, the rest of the Akatsuki members are back stage and all but two are denying that they are the father (Audience gasps) (Camera on the large Akatsuki group back stage) and listen to their stories they made before the show. Lets watch....(Plays the Akatsuki's videos)
Kakuzu: I'll give you two reasons why I can't be the father of this little money eater!!
One: I would never have or make anything that would cost anything,
Two: No woman comes before making money, NEVER, Money comes first,
Thats why I can never be the father in a million years.
(Crowd boos Kakuzu's video)
Zetsu: Look at me do I look anything like the kid, No I don't think so. It's not like I would be a good father anyway, Because I'm a cannibal, But he is too cute to eat, You mean he is too small and an un-edible little thing, So you wont eat him? No if I'm the father I will fatten him up for years to come.
(Crowd and maury are silent, wondering what they just herd)
Sasori: I'm a walking, talking WOODEN man, do you honestly think I could have children, come on people, use that WAD OF GUM BETWEEN YOUR EARS!!!!
(Crowd boos Sasori)
Itachi: I am not the father of this kid because I say I'm not so there it is true that I'm not because this kid is not mine so it must be someone else's so I'm not the father of the child that is not mine but someone else's so it's not mine. (ten minutes of Itachi using revers psychology)
(Crowd boos while holding their heads after Itachi's rant)
Tobi: Tobi want to be the father cause Tobi will make a good father, we will play games, run around Tobi will name him George, and play with a ball, Frisbee, rope toys, squeaky toys, dig in the yard and bunches of fun stuff we can do together because Tobi is a good boy, RIGHT DEIDARA SENPIE!!! (Tobi rushes out of the cameras view and hugs Deidara and Deidara punches him off and steps on him and repeats)
(Crowd cheers for Tobi)
Kisame: Well I could be the father because I've felt more women than a strip pole, and if I am the father then I will take care of him and teach him to be a master swordsmen and how to pick up chicks, OH-YEAH!
(Crowd cheers, but with some disgust)
Deidara: I'm here to say I am not the father for one I'm Eighteen!!! and second I've never had a girlfriend, and third my art comes before any women or anything at all because true art is an explosion and if you philistines can't comprehend my art then I will show you MY TRUE ART!!! UN!!!! (Deidara puts his hand together about to set of his C3 clay art bomb when three guy as big and scary as Steve Wilkos comes and tackles him to the ground)
(Crowd boos Deidara but they later fear for their lives)
Hidan: LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU (BEEP)ING BASTARDS THERE IS NO (BEEP)ING WAY I'M THE FATHER, YOU HAVE TO BE OUT OF YOUR (BEEP)ING MINDS!!! I MEAN LOOK AT THE KID THAT (BEEP)ING BRAT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE ME!!! AND I WOULD NEVER GO WITH ANY WOMEN WHO WOULDN'T CONVERT TO MY (BEEP)ING RELIGION!!! SERIORSLY THAT MAKES ME (BEEP, BEEP, BEEP and random assortments of swear words and complaining for a few minutes)
SO THERE I'M NOT THE FATHER SO (BEEP) OFF!!!! (BEEP) YOU!!!!! (BEEEEEP)!!!!!!!!!
(The crowd and Maury are completely quiet in shock of what Hidan just said)
(Camera on Maury)
Maury: Well thats quite an assortment of people you have in your organization Leader? (Camera changes to Leader)
Leader: Well I think they are a bunch of dumb assess. (Camera changes to Maury)
Maury: Lets not delay anymore in order from their videos here they are the rest of the Akatsuki organization
(Crowd cheers and boos as the Akatsuki comes out)
To Be Continued...