AN:
So I was listening to Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney, and I happened to watch the video. It's about how Jesse likes his friend's girlfriend. I thought it was so sad and sweet and IT FITS THE THOUGHTS OF TRAUGHT SHIPPERS!
And let me clear something up. I'm okay Spitfire. They are pretty cute at times. Buttt, I would pick Traught over it any day. I know it'll most likely NOT ever be canon, but still.
I'm actually kind of surprised as to why this song hasn't been used in a Traught fic yet.
Also, consider this my overdue part in Traught week.
Anyways, enjoy!
~Zara
I shouldn't love you, but I want to. I just can't turn away.
It was an "at first sight" kind of thing, actually. He'd come in with M'gann, Kaldur, and Conner from the beach and had been greeted by the sight of a beautiful blonde teen. Tan skin, toned figure, and miles of golden hair.
At first sight, he was hooked. He knew right away that she wasn't Green Arrow's niece. He'd known Oliver Queen for years; he didn't have any Vietnamese relations.
Hah. Some cover, Ollie.
And it wasn't just her looks that he was attracted to. He hated guys who based their relationships on physical attraction. They almost always never made it to anything serious.
No, it was her personality. Her attitude. She was confident, intelligent, and witty. She didn't take crap from anyone, not ever. She was her own person.
That, and she was completely human. One hundred percent. Just like him.
And he loved every bit of her.
Then Wally had come in. His best friend, his brother, his partner in crime.
It was common knowledge that the speedster was a flirt. But, oddly enough, he hadn't tried his luck with the new archer. They fought all the time, bickering wherever they went. On missions, at the cave, everywhere.
He had shaken himself mentally. He didn't need a girlfriend. Their area of profession didn't allow much room for relationships. That, and he doubted Bruce would approve.
Not to mention that he was a thirteen-year-old kid.
He remembered how excited he had been when he heard that Artemis was going to Gotham Academy. Ecstatic, really.
And that night with the Reds. It led him to respect her even more. She was new to this (working on a team is different than training under your cruel father), but she had kept it together and saved him. Saved the team.
And though he had kept up a cool façade that night, he remembered how his heart had stuttered every time they had touched. Every nudge, every brush of their arms, had sent him into a silent frenzy.
When she had grabbed his wrist to stop him from running, he had nearly hyperventilated.
They were meant for each other, in his mind.
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move.
I can't look away.
Months passed, and the obvious progression of Wally and Artemis'…friendship became obvious.
They fought less. Spent more time together. He was protective of her during battles, often yelling out her name if she was merely knocked to the ground.
He had scoffed to himself. He knew how she felt when he coddled her. Being human meant having to push yourself harder to keep up with the metas on the team. Tumbles and falls were normal.
She had grown close with him too, of course. They connected easily with each other. They trained together, teased Wally together.
He would tell her about his stories as Robin and she would listen wide-eyed.
He told her about the time that he and Wally had dyed Flash's uniform hot pink and she had laughed that amazing husky laugh, ruffling his hair.
God, why couldn't she see it?
Why couldn't she see that just being around her made the heat rise in his cheeks, made his nerves tingle with something he couldn't quiet name?
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not.
Because I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
Six months of being a team, and Wally and Artemis were now together.
It pained him. It hurt. It hurt so badly.
Every time that they held hands, he wanted to hit something. Every time they went out, he felt like crying.
Wally would talk to him about their dates.
"God, Rob, she's the one. I- I love her. It just…fits, ya know?"
Yes, Wally. I know. I know better than you ever will.
He often scolded himself.
His best friend's girl. It was like some cheesy romance novel, wasn't it?
No, it wasn't.
This was real. Totally and completely real. The pain in his chest never let him forget that.
Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, and I can't help it.
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now.
This was definitely more than whelming. This was completely overwhelming.
He couldn't ever get his mind off her. It had gotten so bad that even Bruce had noticed.
"Are you alright?" his surrogate father had asked one night after patrol. A patrol during which he had gotten shot by a street thug. Nothing serious, of course, just a through-and-through, but still.
He had even told Barbara about it. The girl had been…disappointed, to say the least, but sympathetic as well.
He remembered the day that she had walked in on him crying.
"You really love her, don't you?" she had whispered.
Yes, I do.
He had distanced himself from Wally. He couldn't afford to slip up and say something stupid in front of him. Besides, he rarely seemed to have time for his best friend anymore.
"Sorry, dude, gotta run. I'm taking Artie to dinner later."
He had brushed it off.
Yes, of course, Wally. Go ahead. Don't want to keep her waiting.
OoO
What hurt him the most is that she seemed to view him as a brother.
He remembered the time that he had been stabbed by Kobra, on a mission with just the two of them. No doubt that was the whole reason that he had gotten hurt. He had woken up to see Artemis by his side, tan skin tear-stained. She had gathered him into a hug, and he had actually had to refer to the breathing exercises that Bruce had taught him.
"God, Robin," she had breathed into his hair. He remembered how sweet her breath had smelled, how warm her body was. "You're like a little brother to me. Please, please don't scare me like that ever again."
Of course, Artemis. It won't happen again.
Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go of you, but I don't want to.
I just gotta say it all before I go.
Just so you know…
Years went by, and Wally and Artemis only seemed to gain more closeness.
Every kiss they shared made him want to vomit. He'd never felt pain like this. Bullets and knives had nothing on the large, gnawing pain that never seemed to cease, the one he carried like some unshakable monster in his chest.
He'd long since turned from Robin to Nightwing. He'd slipped up too many times, and Bruce had had enough of it. He had no explanation for his many mishaps. Not one that he could voice, anyways.
Well, you see, Bruce, I'm kind of at war with my inner-self because I'm madly in love with my best friend's girlfriend.
Yeah, no.
It's getting hard to be around you, there's so much I can't say.
Do you want me to hide the feelings and look the other way?
It's not as if there were no other females in his life. He and Babs had always been close, but, to him, it was much more of a brother-sister relationship. Any hopes the redhead had had been squashed since he revealed his forbidden love for a certain blonde archer.
Then there was Zatanna. The magician was sweet, witty, and almost as much of a troll as he was. She was cute, fun to be around, and they had gone on and off for a while.
He remembered the day their relationship had officially ended. It was in the middle of a kiss, odd enough. The older ebony had pulled back to look into masked eyes.
"It's not me, is it?" she had breathed, smiling in a sad sort of way.
He had felt angry at himself for becoming so readable. Nevertheless, that was the end of him and Zatanna. It wasn't fair for her. They weren't meant to be.
OoO
By now, he was sixteen. Tall as Wally, body lean as ever, and broader shoulders with longer hair. If anything, he looked better than the speedster.
And by sixteen, he couldn't be around her anymore. The pain had intensified to a point that if she touched him, he felt like he'd kneel over and die.
Kinda freaky, but it was the truth.
She and Wally had hit a few bumps, and she always seemed to come to him when they did.
He'd revealed his identity to the whole team at fifteen, so she would tend to knock on his door in Blüdhaven at two a.m., wearing pajamas and looking either teary or angry.
"I can't even describe it, Dick," she would seethe, once they had settled onto the couch with hot chocolate. "I love him so much…but the things he does sometimes, I just-"
She would usually stop there and lean into him, often falling asleep on his shoulder.
He didn't know he could blush that hard.
And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not.
Because I don't know how to make a feeling stop.
His nightmares of broken wires and piercing screams were replaced with dreams of long blonde hair and husky whispers. He'd often wake in his bed, panting and shaking.
The team had noticed that something was up. Conner, especially. He'd become better friends with the clone ever since Wally and Artemis had gotten together.
"You seem really off," the Kryptonian had noted one night. "Anything you want to talk about?"
He would shake it off, insist that he just had a lot on his mind and that he was tired. No one seemed to buy it, though.
She'd noticed too.
"I'm just worried, that's all," Artemis had said one day during her senior year at Gotham Academy. "You seem…I don't know, sad."
What an understatement.
Then he was seventeen, and Artemis and Wally announced their decision to leave the team and settle in Palo Alto. Everyone had been disconsolate, but happy for their friends as well.
Well, almost everybody.
He couldn't breathe when they delivered the news; he had suspected it, sure, but Wally had mentioned nothing, nothing to him. That wasn't that surprising either, though.
He knew what Kaldur had felt like when he discovered the truth about his best friends' relationship, and when Tula had died, he couldn't put into words how much sympathy he felt for the dark-skinned Atlantian.
The whole Kaldur-turning-evil-but-not-really thing had helped to take his mind off the fact that the love of his life was now living in a house with his 'best friend'. It gave him a necessity to focus on; this was Kal's live at stake. Their plans needed to be precise, accurate.
He barely saw her anymore, and it felt like the remaining part of his heart, the one not already demolished by the pain of the two's relationship, was crumbling. He seldom talked to Wally, and that was that.
The time came when it was clear that Kaldur needed help in getting information about the Light. One undercover agent was not cutting it.
Whatever Wally thought, it was not actually his idea. It had been Kaldur's.
"She would be perfect for the position, my friend," the Atlantian had said to him softly; he often suspected that the team's former leader knew of his forbidden love. "Wally's absence would be much harder to cover, and I am sure his uncle would not rest until those who were responsible were down."
So he had agreed, and after weeks of formulating a plan of action with his old friend, he headed for Palo Alto, dressed in civvies.
He climbed the stairs to the condo and knocked, waiting and feeling almost giddy at the thought of finally seeing her again.
She opened the door, dressed in cutoffs and a black t-shirt. He forgot how to breathe.
"Hey," he choked out. "Need your help."
And so it began.
Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know I've tried my best to let go of you, but I don't want to
Just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know...
This was probably the most awkward and dumb thing I've ever written and the ending was grimace-worthy. Ah well, it's Traught, and that's all that matters to me! :)
Just noticed how little sense it makes for Dick to be living on his own before he's legal, just bear with me please.
Sorry that parts of the song don't fit with what I wrote :(
Please tell me what you thought!
~Zara