It was official, this treaty between Earth and Asgard. One Human, chosen by the Asgardian Royal Family, to wed one of the Princes of Asgard. And who was the (not so blushing OR happy) bride-to-be?

Darcy Lewis, former research assistant and current… well, betrothed fiancé thingy to some Norse God.

'God, if you're out there, don't let it be that Bald dude that supposedly got killed by mistletoe. I bet he was actually a real ass and that's why Loki killed him. And God, if you're listening and granting wishes, please don't let it be Thor- Jane would kill me, and I really like life. I can't complain, really... Speaking of Jane, there she is… Shit, she's crying, what'do I do? Keep walking, Darcy, don't look up until you hit the alter, don't say anything, don't sob, just walk. I fucking hope this dude I'm being married to can't read minds, that'd be awkward. Hey, mind reader future husband dude! Get out of my head! This is my head, not yours! Get your own fucking head!'

Somebody laughed, and by the richness of it, they were probably from the groom's side- or the groom.

'Keep walking, only twenty feet to go… Is that an 8 legged horse? How the fuck…? You know what? I don't want to know. And why is there a snake in the pews? Oh, I know where this is heading… Hey, where's the half dead girl and the wolf? Ok, there's the half dead girl… I think. She looks more like a vampire then anything… Still no wolf… Oh, here I am, at the alter!

Darcy and the groom both knelt before Odin, his spear in hand as he began to give a long winded speech on marriage and how this union would be a good one.

'Boooooooring! Come on, one eyed old dude, get on with it! "By the powers of my father and his father before him!..." God he sounds snooty. And like Anthony Hopkins. Isn't he supposed to be my future father in law too? Hey, I wonder if he'd be willing to say 'Hello, Clarice' after a few drinks? That shit'd be funny! Hey, time to kiss the Groom dude!'

And both Bride and Groom looked up, brown eyes meeting green.

'In answer to your questions- yes, I read minds, yes that was an 8 legged horse, he's your stepson now; I won't tell you how I had him, there's a snake in the church because he's my son as well, there is no wolf (not yet anyways) and, sorry to say, Odin never gets drunk. Might be funny though.'

And Loki and Darcy locked eyes again and burst out laughing.

(Line Break)

It turned out that the aftermath of weddings was the same on Asgard as it was for Darcy- one big fucking party! With booze! And friends! And Booze!

Of course, it took a while for the Asgardians to catch onto the idea of 'dancing', but once someone taught Sif to shake her hips to rumba music, everything got started up, and next thing Darcy knew, she and the groom were doing the limbo! The innocent version at least… Until the snake got into the ale and started flirting with Jane and he and Thor started fighting and Loki had to go break it up…

"So, what was that about a wolf earlier?" Loki asked silently as they slow danced (which was supposed to be a time for quiet chit chat in Asgardian tradition.)
"All those books they made me read said you had a wolf for a son. I saw all the other kids you were supposed to have, so…"
"Reasonable. I had a PET wolf when I was younger so I suppose they started the stories considering I have two animal children already. But no, no, I don't have a wolf for a son."
"Shoot, because that would've made an awesome story to tell at a coffee hop- 'Oh, your stepson made the soccor team? Mine's a giant wolf who's going to eat the sun and moon, bitches!' You have to admit, that'd be awesome!"

Loki chuckled almost darkly. "You know, I'm starting to think that Mother picked you for me to wed so this would be a game instead of a punishment for me… You're an entertaining mortal, Darcy Lokiswife, and I look forward to the next fifty years, I think…"

Darcy giggled before giving a grin. "Well, Mr. Odinson, I might just have to make you eat those words!"

And Odin shuddered in fear of what he might have started- because this girl would either save Loki or damn them all…

(LINE!)
AN: An AU to my story Fenrir and his Expanding Family, in which Loki never created Fenrir after Fenris died, and so the stress of loosing a third child from Asgard never set him on the winding road to crazy, and so when Thor was banished, instead of staying as king, Loki went to conquer Jotunhiem on his own (Bad Loki, bad!) as an attempt to please Odin and curry favor for Thor to be brought back. Thus, no Destroyer, no broken Bifrost, no falling off of aforementioned Rainbow Bridge, no Chitauri, no Thanos, no Avengers!

Ok, so the Avengers still form to battle 'Loki', but really it's Thanos having stolen Loki's form, and Loki's safe in Asgard awaiting punishment for trying to, you know, take over another planet. So the Avengers still form, but Coulson doesn't die! Not that I'd killed him in 'Fenrir', but whatever!

Another interesting note, Darcy is Fenrir's BIOLOGICAL mother in this story- Loki added a bit of her into Fen, making him a Jotun/Asgardian/Wolf/Human hybrid. Onto the next chapter!