The lipstick was the rouge color of freshly smashed raspberries. It felt like silk sliding against his thin lips. He exaggerated the pout of his lips, relishing in the sight of them appearing fuller than they should. The mascara weighing down his already thick ebony lashes felt comforting. His long shimmering obsidian hair grazed his shoulders. He tossed the hair again, he was ecstatic about the way it tickled his skin. Last but not least, his favorite part. The dress fell onto his once square form, now hugging his fake breasts. The silky fabric caressed every exposed inch of skin, shivers traveled up and down his spine. He tossed his head back, his grey eyes sparkling much like the costume jewelry around his neck. He laughed, he laughed so loud that his whole frame shook. He was never this free in his entire life. Everything else was mundane; everything else was stagnant and pallid compared to his moments in the spotlight. Black stilettos slid onto his feet. The satisfying click of his heels as he exited the room made him grin once more. He lived for this.
"Shion, I promise you'll love it." Safu called out, a drunken blush tingling her cheeks.
"Whatever makes you happy." The passive Shion smiled lazily.
It was Safu's birthday, and ever since she had gotten a group of friends who were actually girls, she had been into more daring things lately. For instance, she never used to drink, but now she was slurring her words and swearing very much like a sailor would. Now out for her 21st birthday, she was asking Shion to do yet another daring thing with her. They were going to a drag show. Not that Shion minded the art of drag in the least, but he had never once in his life considered that he would be attending a show, with Safu especially.
"Oh Shion," Safu interrupted abruptly. He sincerely hoped that she still wasn't thinking she was going to steal a kiss from him or something.
"What?"
"You look so worked up. Here, have some of my drink, I'm sure it'll help calm your nerves." She reached up for him, pressing the lip of her flask against Shion's pale lips.
"Safu, knock it off." Shion knocked back the flask that reeked of hard liquor. Since when did Safu become so tough skinned? "I'm fine, I'm mostly just worried about you drinking your weight in liquor."
Safu laughed lightheartedly. "Shion. You're adorable sometimes you know that? If you weren't ga-"
"I am not!" Shion interrupted defiantly.
The line outside of the drag house measured back about a block and a half. Out of everyone in line, Shion felt a tad bit underdressed for the occasion. The women had their makeup done almost as elaborately as the performers he was sure of, the boys were wearing tight pants around thin legs, hair glued up, skin glowing in the night light. Shion felt as though he was just a little white haired boy wearing his long wool coat, nose turning red from the late autumn cold, breath puffing out in front of him. The cold didn't seem to be affecting Safu as it was affecting Shion; it was probably due to the fact that her young blood was coursing with alcohol. Her legs poked out from underneath her tight pencil skirt, wedges adoring her tiny feet.
"Shion, come on, the line's moving. What are you looking at?" Safu commented with a laugh, her brown hair being tossed back from her shimmering face with a gust of air.
"You should've told me to wear something else." Shion murmured, slightly embarrassed.
"No matter where we're going you always wear the same thing Sion." She reached out a small hand to tug on his favorite brown coat. "Brown wool coat with a cardigan and long sleeve shirt underneath. Even in the summer." She giggled at him.
Shion chose to keep his mouth shut at that all too true statement that Safu had just made. They were finally to the entrance anyways.
The tall man at the doorway spoke down at both of them, "I.D. please."
Safu proudly pulled her I.D. out of her clutch. "Twenty-one as of today." She winked an eyelid that was covered in smoky black eye shadow.
The man raised an eyebrow; it popped out from underneath his sunglasses, "Really? That's great. Next."
Shion held out his I.D. he looked a lot different from when that picture had been taken. He used to dye his hair a mousy brown color, and his face was brighter, his smile larger, yet painfully forced. The guard glanced twice, forcing Shion to make an innocent smile similar to the one that had been photographed six years ago when he was sixteen. He finally let him in.
The first thing that hit him was the scent. It wasn't heavy and laden with the scent of nicotine as many of the other bars he had been to, the air smelt like sugar and fruits. The music that rang throughout the building held a bright poppy beat, the lights flashed all the colors of the rainbow. The men at the bars were so beautiful, and the women that sometimes accompanied them looked nothing short of magnificent.
Safu gasped, "Shion, this is so wonderful!" She tugged on his hands, "Take off your jacket and that stupid cardigan and dance with me."
Shion obliged, watching as Safu eagerly tossed his clothes on a chair with her clutch, thoughtlessly disregarding the fact that someone could easily steal her belongings. The music pounded through his entire frame. Safu was spinning and tossing her arms, dancing not just with him, but also with everyone around them. Shion made a lame attempt of shaking his hips to the music; his arms kind of flip flopping with his body movements.
"Who taught you how to dance Shion? You are about as energetic as a squash." Safu encircled her arms around him, her hips and feet moving much more fluidly than his own.
"No one has ever taught me." He admitted.
"Well, maybe you'll take some pointers tonight." Safu danced away, getting lost within the maze of human beings on the floor.
Shion gulped, suddenly craving a drink to quench his thirst, he turned around to make his way to the bar when a loud announcement from the front stage made everyone, including himself, turn.
"Ladies and gentleman, and everyone in between, the moment you've all been waiting for has come."
The crowd went wild. Two girls next to Shion began whispering about the best drag queen in Tokyo. Shion wished he knew where Safu was. He was so ridiculously uncomfortable in this type of situation. The lights cut, the rainbows stopped, and a single spotlight fell upon stage. The crowd was even louder than before, people began to cry out a name, but Shion couldn't quite make out what they were all saying in unison.
The voice came back on, "The main act of the night, the one, the only, the legendary Eve."
Another beat beagn to fill the club, but this time it was followed by a melodic voice. Men hollered and whistled, women squealed. The deep red curtains parted, revealing a tall woman with long ebony hair. Shion stopped breathing for some reason, but he wasn't sure why.
Eve's legs seemed to extend for a mile past her tight blue dress. She walked out to the end of the stage, the microphone pressed to her sinfully red lips.
She began to dance around the stage, her stiletto heels commanding the attention her perfect form deserved. She danced in a way that Shion could only ever dream of moving, like divine perfection in movement, each step was like silk. In the back of his mind he knew that Eve obviously had to be a man, but none of that mattered, no matter who or what Eve was, the presence of this human being was so captivating, he couldn't tear his auburn eyes away.
The whole club was like a sea of warm bodies, melding together. He couldn't distinguish one person from the next. In a place like this, every drab task of a day-to-day life was washed away, because it was apparent to everyone that none of it mattered. Shion stopped thinking about Safu, about what time it was, or if he did or didn't have to work in the morning. Eve was sucking away all the dissatisfaction of a meaningless existence. Just watching her made him feel alive.
His pulse under his pink scar was beating just a little bit faster, his legs began to move, his hips following suit. Was he dancing? He was too busy looking at Eve to worry about himself. She had made her way out onto the small runway of the stage, the crowd reaching up for just a chance to touch her. She bent down with a captivating smile, touching the hands of some lucky fans; her lips still sang the sweetest melody. It was then that she looked up at Shion directly.
He was frozen as thoughts wove themself around in his brain. Were her eyes just grey and surrounded by a dark, sparkling shadow and eyeliner or were her eyes like falling into a churning night sky, alit with a billion little orbs? She turned away from Shion's gaze too quickly for him to make that decision. Shion stumbled back, facing the other way. He could hear his heart in his ears. What had just happened? What was this feeling?
"Thank you everyone. I love you all." It was Eve's voice. She was reaching out beautifully long fingers to blow kisses at all the adoring fans. "Be who you want to be, and don't take no for an answer, you crazy little fuckers." She giggled at the not so gentle choice of words before she left the stage, a shower of roses following her wake.
Shion found himself at the bar, downing a drink. He wasn't sure exactly what it was, he was still moving in some kind of daze. The drink was cool, bitter yet sweet as it landed on the back of his palate. He hoped Safu would show up soon so they could leave, this was where the alcohol was centered around after all; she had to come to resupply herself eventually.
He was suddenly feeling sick, his head ringing with the much too loud beats of the club. He lowered his head onto the table, releasing a quiet groan. He was unaware of just how long he let his head lay on that glassy tabletop. The sounds of the club faded away into one monotonous hum, and he could've sworn he almost fell asleep, until he heard a voice.
"Hey there albino, are you alright?" The voice was rough, just like the shake of his shoulder.
Shion squinted his eyes, peering up. "Who are you?"
A chuckle was released from the person who was so rudely interrupting him, he could almost imagine the smirk that lay spread across their lips. "I'm nobody."
"That's a half-assed answer." Shion sputtered. Maybe he was a little drunk too. What the hell had he been drinking, and how much?
The person sat down on the stool next to Shion. "Maybe next time you should take it easy on the alcohol."
"Are you my mother or something?" Shion scowled, raising his head, forcing his eyes to focus on the source of the snarky voice.
Another snide laugh, "I could be if you want me to."
Shion remembered he was still in a gay bar. "I'm looking for my friend." He finally looked up at the person who was sitting beside him. It was so dark that he could barely make out the person's face. The multi-colored lights shone across their face, every which in random spurts, illuminating a cut jaw, creamy white skin, and that smirk that he had imagined so vividly.
"You mean your boyfriend?" The dark figure tucked his hand into his black leather jacket.
"I don't have a boyfriend." Shion turned around, almost falling off the chair. "Safu?"
He felt an arm holding him back, or up, he couldn't tell. "Watch out there, you'll hurt yourself. You don't drink often do you?"
Shion slapped at the foreign hand, "You don't even know me. Who the hell are you?"
The smirk faded away. "Some call me Eve. But that's not who I really am."
Shion's ruby eyes opened wide, his jaw falling open. Before he could muster up a sentence, he felt another hand on his shoulder.
"Shion! I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay?" Safu looked tired and hung over, she had been drinking all day anyways.
"I'm fine, I was just talking to-" He stopped when he looked over and noticed that the person he had been talking to was gone. "He was right there…"
"Who?" Safu looked inquisitively around Shion. "Oh, I see, did you find yourself a boyfriend?"
"Shut up, that's not it at all!"
"Okay then Mr. Serious let's go home then, I'm tired."
Shion nodded in agreement, he was wobbly making it to his own two feet. Safu led them to the exit of the club step by weary step.
"Shion, did you see Eve? She's better than I heard. It's no fair that a man can be that beautiful." She pouted on behalf of all women in the world.
"Yeah, I saw her." His eyes scanned the area around the exit.
Safu was speaking to someone. "Oh, thank you for opening the door."
"It's no problem."
It was that voice.
Shion glanced up, barely catching the glimmer of silver eyes. "Come back soon."
The door to the club closed.
The next day Shion got up early, to vomit. He spent most of the afternoon walking back and forth between his bed and the shiny rim of the toilet bowl. That stranger who had claimed to be Eve really was right, he was not big on drinking, he couldn't hold his liquor to save his life. After an afternoon of slipping in and out of sleep and shivering in some type of cold sweat, he heard his cell go off. He looked over to the small flashing screen before flipping it open and placing it close to his ear.
"Hello mom." He tried to hide the fatigue in his voice.
"Hello Shion. I was baking some cherry pie and I was thinking about you.
The thought of cherry pie made Shion's stomach churn and gurgle. "That's nice of you mom, was there something you wanted?"
"Oh, how was Safu's birthday yesterday? You two didn't get into too much trouble now did you?"
"No, we didn't." Shion really wished he could get out of bed to empty what little he had in his stomach.
"I've been telling you for years Sion, that girl adores you." His mom trailed off and Shion could almost sense her disappointment.
"Mom, that's not how it is at all. Safu and me are just friends, nothing more."
"Whatever you say…" His mom would never believe him when it came to his and Safu's friendship. They had been friends since he was ten; she was more like a sister to him than anything else.
"Mom, I have to go."
"Shion, you don't sound too good."
"I'm fine."
"Call it mother's intuition, but you seem hung-over to me."
"I am no-"
His mother's soft voice gently rose over his, "Shion, go to the store and get some mochi, it should help soak up the alcohol"
Shion raised a hand to his sweaty forehead. "I'm not going to do that, because I am fine, I think I'm just coming down with the flu."
"Sure you are sweetheart. Call me again when you're feeling better."
"I will. I love you."
"Love you too Shion. Goodbye." His mother's voice was cut off after that.
Shion threw himself off the side of his bed, stripping out of his pajamas, which were starting to smell anyways. He walked in his underwear across the room, his pink scars wrapping around his exposed body. He slipped into a pair of grey sweatpants and a maroon hoodie. Usually he wouldn't be caught dead in something like this, but he was in no mood to get ready for the day. Grabbing his house keys off the kitchen counter he slipped on some tennis shoes and headed out the door.
It was about eight at night, Sion had spent way too much time in bed. He made the short walk to the local super market two blocks from his house. The lights of the city were beginning to shine, to an outsider it would've been breathtaking, but Shion had seen these sights his whole life. Only a few people stared at the disarrayed white haired young man as he panted from the energy he had to exert just to make it to the store. When he finally made it inside, he made his way to the frozen foods section. The thought of luke-warm mochi made him feel sick once again.
He popped open the doors to the freezer that held the mochi, breathing a sigh of relief as he felt the gust of frozen air slap his overheated skin. He reached in, grabbing a green tea box, and a box of red bean flavor, just in case he needed more than one flavor in his dry mouth. He smiled to himself as he felt the cool box touch his chest as he held them in his arms. He reached in to grab a small carton of frozen yogurt as well, probably just so he could hold more cold things to his body, when a voice startled him.
"It's you again albino." Laughter followed the interruption.
Shion dropped his frozen yogurt on the ground as he jumped. He looked up to see a tall man looking down on him, his jet-black hair pulled back into a ponytail, his steely eyes glimmering. He reached down to pick up Shion's frozen yogurt, handing it out to him.
"Do you remember me? Or were you too drunk?"
Shion grabbed his ice cream from the dark haired man. "I remember you. What are you doing here?"
"It's a supermarket, am I not allowed in here or something?" When Shion didn't respond he spoke again. "Not to be rude or anything, but you don't look too good. Could it be that the alcohol really did catch up to you?"
Shion sighed, looking down at his sweatpants. He blushed, his cheeks matching the color of his pink scar.
Eve paused, seeing he had embarrassed Shion.
Shion blushed harder.
He seemed to relish in the fact that he had embarrassed the shorter man, "The name is Nezumi. What's yours?"
"Shion."
"That's a fancy name."
Shion thought about Nezumi's name. "Nezumi? Your name can't really be Nezumi, doesn't that mean rat?"
"So what if it does? It's self appointed."
"Didn't your parents give you a name?"
"Maybe." Nezumi shrugged, his leather jacket hugging his shoulders perfectly.
Shion looked down at his frozen mochi. "Well, I better get going."
"Before you go, take this." Nezumi reached in his pocket, pulling out a crumpled stub. "It's a ticket to my show tomorrow. Surely you didn't forget me when I looked directly at you yesterday."
"You're really Eve?" Shion's eyes were wide.
"Shh, now we don't want to start a ruckus, now do we?" Nezumi looked around, making sure no one was within earshot. "But to answer your question, yes."
Shion looked Nezumi directly in the eyes. "You're pretty as both genders Nezumi-san. That shocks me."
Nezumi burst out into laughter.
"What is it?" Shion questioned, his white brows drawing down.
"Nothing, you're just so serious. Don't use formalities on my name, that shit annoys me."
"Alright then, whatever you want."
"See you tomorrow then." Nezumi gave Shion one last nod before turning to the next isle, where, not to Shion's knowledge he would purchase a cheap dinner for one.
On the walk home, Shion felt a strange feeling crawling though his chest. He hoped he wouldn't throw up again. But that wasn't it. Nezumi's presence made him feel so uncomfortable, but in such a good way. He couldn't describe the way he felt drawn to him, it was as if he had known him his whole life. Shion continued to have this weird feeling all the way home, even when he ate a whole box of mochi, half a carton of frozen yogurt, and passed out on the couch again.
After work the next afternoon, Shion made a resolution to become a more productive person. Sure he had only gone out for drinks with Safu once, and spent one day recovering. But, all that had clouded his thoughts and dreams since then was Nezumi, or Eve. No matter who he was, his stormy eyes seemed to be burnt into the back of his mind. Why couldn't he shake this feeling of being pulled towards this absolute stranger? It was as though he had seen his face somewhere before, but the memory was too cloudy, and he couldn't remember.
He got a simple sushi dinner on the walk home from work. He knew he should retire for the night. He was being irresponsible; he was a working adult, not a child who played around in clubs. But then there he was at the door to the club, showing the security guard his childish looking I.D. again. Tonight the bar wasn't nearly as crowded, only a few people sat around tables, drinking their tall glasses full of blood red wine.
Shion found his own table and sat down; opting to not drink tonight he silently waited, pulling off his heavy brown coat. He didn't have to wait long before the curtains opened, just as they had two-nights prior, and revealed the stunning Eve. Tonight her hair was down, straight and flowing, although there was no breeze to carry her hair, it seemed to float on its own. No one cheered, no one shouted. She stepped up to the piano and took a seat. Her dress was down to her feet, a beautiful crème color that accentuated the pale fragility of the curves of her collarbones and the dip of her neck.
She began to play. The melody was sorrowful, and Shion found himself listening intently from his seat, scooting forward just so he could hear her well. Her fingers were so long, he was fascinated by the way they dug into each key as if the keys would suck away her pain, as if they could erase a lifetime of regrets. Shion felt as though he was being lifted up from his seat, as if the notes were kissing his skin, wrapping around him like arms and holding him.
When Eve finished, he finally realized the feeling of dewy tears in his lashes. Embarrassed once again, he lowered his head and scrubbed at his eyes. Eve got up and bowed, showing off the flowers laced into her hair. Silver eyes caught maroon ones. Shion hoped that Eve couldn't see the glisten in his eyes. He forced himself to look away; he couldn't get sucked back into those eyes.
"Eve. What the fuck do you think you're doing? Putting on a show for your sad little feelings, eh?" A small foot landed itself into Nezumi's ass.
"Shut up. It's a Tuesday night, no one wants to fucking dance." Nezumi wove the flowers out of his hair, tossing them on the vanity.
"I'm not paying you for nothing. Or do they just call me the dogkeeper for fun?" The short woman standing behind Nezumi reflected in his mirror. She scowled, but that was not unusual in the least.
"I'm not a dog like you." Nezumi sneered, wiping a wet washcloth across his face, his makeup sliding off his skin.
"Oh really?" The dogkeeper's dark eyes shone with an evil glint, "How about no pay for the next month then?"
"How about I quit and nobody comes to your shitty bar anymore?"
"I don't need you Nezumi, take your fucked up self somewhere else."
"I will." Nezumi slid out of his dress, pulling on tan colored pants.
The dogkeeper's scowl began to fade ever so slightly, "I mean it."
"I mean it too."
Nezumi reached into the small dressing room closet, pulling out his black leather jacket.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" The dogkeeper reached out for Nezumi, but was pushed back by his hand.
"Home."
"Nezumi," The dogkeeper paused for a moment, her face softening ever so slightly, "What did I tell you about leaving without me or someone else. Especially at this time of night."
Nezumi scoffed, "I'm not a fucking little girl, I can handle myself." He began to leave the room.
"Nezumi! Don't! You know what happens out there!" Dogkeeper called out after him, but she was too late. She lowered her head into her hands, her long black hair tangling around her fingers. "Idiot." She mumbled under her breath.
The alleyways and sidewalks that surrounded the bar that Nezumi worked at were not full of the friendliest people. The bar was in a district known for its drunks and all over losers. Nezumi had had a few confrontations with said people before, but that had always been his mistake for not completely removing himself from the drag he was in. But now he just looked like a regular guy, making his way home through the streets that stank of sake and whiskey. He pulled his grey scarf tighter around his neck. The October air was relentless. He made it a few blocks without seeing a single person; he knew the dogkeeper was just being overprotective, although she did have the tendency to explode on him.
Then a rough voice rang out from the depths of one of the alleyways, "Hey, you!"
Nezumi continued walking.
"Hey, stop!"
Nezumi felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned with narrow ash colored eyes. Two men stood before him, both slurring drunk.
"I thought so, you're Eve aren't you?" The taller man with brown hair smirked crookedly.
Nezumi said nothing. The shorter man spoke up. "Yeah, my wife talks about your shows. Think she even has a crush on you."
"A crush on this man-woman?" The taller man laughed, "You must really be shitty in the sack."
At this point Nezumi turned and continued to walk in the opposite direction.
"Hey, homo, I wasn't done talking with you."
Nezumi felt that hand on him once again, fingers digging relentlessly into his skin. With a turn and a sneer he punched the man square in the face. "Keep your fucking hands off me."
The brown haired man's friend was quickly invading Nezumi's personal space. He shoved him back. "Keep your filthy hands off my friend, faggot."
Nezumi's lips cocked upwards, "Protecting your lover are you? I thought I was the faggot, not you."
That got the man going, and his own fist struck into Nezumi's stomach, knocking the air out of him he was pushed back a few steps. He reached up and planted another punch in his face. Soon enough, the man he had punched first was behind him, and pinned his arms back, holding him with force. Nezumi flung up his legs, kicking the man before him with his combat boots.
"What a feisty bitch you are." He punched Nezumi in the gut again, making him gasp out for air.
Then another hit to the face, then another and another. Nezumi lost count, he couldn't hear, his ears were ringing and his vision began to blur. His face ached, but he accepted each punch, there was no way in hell he was about to back down to the likes of these two.
"Don't have anything to say for yourself anymore, fag?" Asked the man who was beating him to a pulp.
Nezumi's lips twitched, he spat out blood at the asshole before him. "Fuck you."
He raised his fist to punch him again. Nezumi didn't flinch at the expectation of another hit, because he was better than that. But he was stopped. Nezumi couldn't see, but he could hear the man fall to the ground, he could hear his body being kicked again and again.
The man behind him released his wrists. "You wanna get the shit beat out of you too?"
Then Nezumi's hand was grabbed by a soft, plush one. One sentence was whispered in his ear, by a warm, soft voice. "You think you can run?"
"Yes." Nezumi croaked. He forced his eyes to focus; all he could feel was the pavement pounding underneath his feet, and that soft hand holding on so tight to his own. He saw flashes of white hair and white skin. "Shion?"
"Yes, it's me Nezumi. Now be quiet or they'll find us." Nezumi was pulled around a corner, and into Shion's chest. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief, collapsing into his arms.
"Nezumi, I think they're gone. Nezumi?"
No response came from the dark haired man.
"I'm taking you to my house. Just a little further."
Nezumi leaned on Shion on the way home.
When Nezumi came to, he at first felt his body ache. He let go of a groan. But then he felt those warms hands on his own again.
"Nezumi?"
Nezumi opened his eyes as much as he could, his vision was fuzzy, then slowly was brought into focus. He could see Shion leaning over him, his red eyes shimmering with concern. Nezumi's lips twitched with an attempted smile.
"Shion." His name crawled out of his dry throat.
"Don't speak." Shion commanded in his calm voice, "Drink."
Shion tipped a cup full of water against Nezumi's lips. Nezumi drank it all easily, feeling the refreshing cold of the water hitting the back of his throat. He finished and Shion took the cup away, instead he began dabbing at Nezumi's forehead with a cool washcloth.
"I disinfected and bandaged all you wounds, I think the cuts should heal without scarring." Shion paused his actions, looking down at the bandaged boy who still made his heart ache. "What happened back there?"
"Just some assholes. It's the price I pay for doing what I do."
"That's not fair, Nezumi." Tears rose on the edge of Shion's eyes.
"I know. Shion, did you take down that guy all on your own?" Nezumi's barely opened eyes glistened.
"Well…uhh, yeah, I guess I did. Something takes over me when I see people close to me in danger."
"Close to you?" Nezumi's hand shifted under Shion's. "We barely know each other."
Shion's eyes shifted away from Nezumi's. "I must confess, I feel drawn to you."
Nezumi's hand wrapped tighter around Shion's. "I know. I do too."
Shion smiled softly, leaning down ever so softly to place a chaste kiss on Nezumi's lips.
"What was that?" Nezumi questioned, his lips tingling where they had touched Shion's.
"A goodnight kiss." Shion got off the bed, "Sleep tight Nezumi."
Nezumi meant to speak up and question him further, but sleep pulled him down into the depths of darkness.
The next morning his head ached and throbbed. He flung his legs over the edge of the bed, limping his way to what he hoped was the bathroom. The greatest tremble in his legs was when he saw himself in the mirror. His hands reached for his face. There was a bandage wrapped around his forehead, his eyes were purple and blue, his lips cut and swollen, and his cheeks littered with cuts and bruises. He groaned, he'd be out of the job for a week more or less; he couldn't perform with this face.
There was a voice at the door, "Nezumi? Are you awake?"
Nezumi ran a hand through his disarrayed hair. "Yes."
"When you're ready, I made some breakfast."
"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."
When he entered Shion's little kitchen he noticed that his apartment was ridiculously small, he had been sleeping in the only bedroom in the entire house. He saw blankets on the couch where Shion had undoubtedly slept last night. With a small sigh he sat at the kitchen bar.
"Good morning." Shion smiled, placing a plate of food down and a cup of coffee.
"Listen Shion, thank you so much for everything, but-"
Shion's smile faded. "But what?"
"I need to go."
"Why?"
"You don't need a rat around your house, trust me."
"Nezumi?" Shion's eyes were dark.
Nezumi met his gaze, "What?"
"Shut up and eat."
Nezumi's eyes widened, this kid was bipolar or something? With a silent acknowledgement he ate. The ring of his phone interrupted him. It was in his jacket was hanging by the door. He got up and flipped open the phone, only to be insulted by the voice at the other end.
"You fucking idiot! What did I tell you?"
"Dogkeeper, what are you talking about?" Nezumi scowled.
"Don't fucking kid with me! You got the shit beaten out of you! And now you can't even perform in the state you're in. Don't even bother coming to work this week."
"Dogkeeper, liste-"
"No, Nezumi. Learn to take care of yourself you moron. I was worried as fuck."
The line went dead. Nezumi flipped the phone shut, turning to Shion. "Did you answer my phone or something?"
"Huh?" Shion thought for a moment. "Well yes, it was ringing off the hook last night, I had too."
"No you didn't. It's none of your business." Nezumi's eyes narrowed defensively again.
Shion's snow colored eyebrows rose, "I apologize then."
"I'll be leaving now." Nezumi slid into his coat. "Thanks for letting me stay here and all."
"Nezumi, don't go." Shion chased him to the door.
Nezumi opened up the door, letting in a gust of cool air. "I'm leaving."
"Don't." Shion pulled on his grey scarf, tugging him in closer.
Nezumi met his fiery gaze, "What do you want from me?"
"I don't know." Shion's eyes were laced with confusion.
Nezumi leaned in, his lips meeting Shion's. The held the soft kiss for a few moments, neither knowing what they were doing.
When their lips parted ways, Nezumi released a gust of breath. "How do I know you? Where from?"
Shion furrowed his brows, "I don't know. But your eyes seem so familiar."
Nezumi traced the scar on his cheek. "I couldn't forget a face like this." Nezumi sighed, drawing back. "I really should go Shion."
"But I-"
"Dinner tonight though. I do owe you. I'll pick you up at eight." Nezumi's lips curved upwards ever so slightly once more.
Shion's cheeks dusted pink. "O-okay. Sounds good." His eyes squinted with a lighthearted smile.
"Bye." Nezumi tossed his scarf back around his neck and headed down the steps.
Shion took a shower at seven. He stood in the water, not really cleansing his body, but rather just letting the steaming water pour over his head. His hands hovered at his sides, he could see the faint pink scars wrapping perfectly up and down his body, from the side of his cheek to the curve of his ankle. When he was done, he turned off the water, yet remained standing in the steam filled room. He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed into his room.
His closet was disheartening, to say the least. He tried to find something else to wear besides the usual cardigan but everything he tried didn't look right. He settled on a grey cardigan and black pants. He combed his hair out in the bathroom, watching the white strands shimmer as the brush evened them out. He shook his hair out once, twice, waiting for it to fall perfectly into place. When he realized he'd have to settle for what he had, he released a sigh. In the kitchen, he grabbed his wallet and a key to the house. Then he doorbell rang. He almost jumped out of his skin at the sound. Had he really wasted that much time getting ready? He checked his reflection in the mirror by the door one more time before he opened it up.
Nezumi's ebony hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail; loose strands blew in the wind, contrasting against his grey eyes. Shion saw the crease at the corner of his lips before Nezumi even began his smirk of a smile.
"You look good." Nezumi's voice held more bite to it than it had this morning.
Shion paused, suddenly pulling Nezumi's face close. "Are you wearing makeup on your cuts and bruises? I can barely tell that anything happened to you."
Nezumi pulled away, laughing under his breath. "That's what happens when you play with makeup everyday, you get pretty good at it."
"That's amazing." Shion's genuine smile spread across his small face, having an effect on Nezumi that he would never fully comprehend.
"Let's go you smiling idiot."
Shion wasn't fazed by the playful insult, "Alright."
They walked side by side down the steps that lead up to Shion's apartment. Leaves that were shed by autumn trees were tumbling around the sky.
"Where are we going?" Shion tucked his hands in his pockets.
"I know a pretty good ramen shop. It kinda looks like a dive, but the ramen there is better than most rickety old grandma's."
Shion looked over at Nezumi. "I don't mind dives, it doesn't have to be anything fancy."
Nezumi grinned, "Good answer Shion, cause I don't like picking up checks."
Inside the ramen shop was warm. The sensation of home crept up through Shion's whole body, resonating through the pink glow in his cheeks. He could curl up under the kotatsu and fall asleep to the sound of Nezumi talking about Shakespeare plays.
"Shion? Are you even listening?"
"Huh?" Shion looked his way, flustered by the fact that he had been caught daydreaming.
Nezumi wanted to be annoyed, but the look on Shion's face was just so cute, he couldn't. "Never mind. If that stuff bores you, we don't have to talk about it."
"No, I wasn't bored."
"Sure you weren't. You were floating off into space." Nezumi leaned in a little farther. "What exactly were you daydreaming about?"
Shion let go of a small, nervous, laugh. "Nothing."
Nezumi's eyebrows lowered, something about that laugh and that smile, was so familiar to him. Nezumi watched the white haired boy pick up his bowl of ramen, the steam clouding his view of his face. The he was slurping up the noodles through his perfect, small lips.
Maroon eyes flashed up, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Nezumi hoped he sounded convincing.
"Hey Nezumi, can I ask you a question? It might be a little personal…"
Nezumi shrugged, "I think we're past that phase Shion."
"Okay, well, why exactly do you do drag?" Shion quickly followed up with, "If you don't want to say, that's fine too."
"No, it's okay." Nezumi picked at his noodles with his chopsticks. "Well, ever since I was young, growing up without any real family around, it was hard. I was always picked on as a child, and I didn't really have any friends. I was homeless most of my life, abandoned and scurrying around like the rat I was. Until one day, I had no clothes on my back, and I found a dress in a dumpster. When people thought I was a little girl, they took more pity on me. Eventually, I began to love the way that dress felt, the attention it gave me. I never wanted to be an actual woman, but just for that moment, I could feel innocent and graceful, like a heroine from one of Shakespeare's sonnets, so tragically beautiful."
Nezumi stopped and met Shion's wide eyes. "I've said too much, haven't I?"
Shion paused, thinking of what to say. "No Nezumi. I know exactly how you feel."
The man coming to give them their receipt interrupted their conversation. Shion took out his wallet, pulling out some cash.
Nezumi gasped, reaching out for his wallet, bringing it in close to his eyes in shock. "W-what is this?"
Shion looked up, "What are you talking about?"
Nezumi reached inside Shion's wallet, pulling out a charm with an angel on it. "This."
"Oh," Shion began, "That's pretty old. Brings back memories."
"I gave this to you." Nezumi's eyes were wide, swirling like the clouds of an impeding hurricane.
"What do you mean Nezumi? I got that a long time, I don't quite remember where from, but it's kind of been a good luck charm to me. But, I'm pretty sure it wasn't you." Shion laughed softly. When he noticed that Nezumi's face remained hardened and serious he stopped. "What's the matter?"
"Shion, were you ever at an orphanage?"
"Well, yeah. I stayed at one for a few weeks before my parents adopted me." Shion stroked the scar wrapping around his neck absentmindedly.
"Was it the Mitsukashi house for young boys?" Nezumi's eyes were still fierce.
"Yeah, but only for two weeks or so."
"I was there too."
Shion's red eyes shot open wide as it all began to piece together in his mind. "Y-you're the nameless boy…how could I forget?"
It was hailing outside. The small balls of ice pounded against the cloudy glass windows of what he currently called home. Shion ran his fingers over his scars, which still felt raw on his skin. He questioned himself, he questioned why he lived to see one day to the next. His own mother's umbilical cord had strangled its self around his entire small body when he was being born, he should have died. If her umbilical cord hadn't killed him, his mother surely would. Mentally unstable, is what they had told him, as they took him away from the only life he knew. He hadn't found a purpose in life.
That was until he met the nameless boy. The nameless boy was almost like a girl he was so fragile, his skin so fair, in complete contrast of the rest of him. Shion had only been in the Mitsukashi house for boys a week, but they became friends fast. They spent hours talking of what they would do someday, how they would become astronauts, travel to Europe, become underwater sea adventurers. The fantasies they dreamt up together made the dreary days and dark memories fade into the past.
Shion turned when he heard footsteps on the hardwood floors.
"Is it you?" He called out.
"Yes," The small boy behind him whispered.
Shion turned to face him, seeing how long and untamed his hair was. It hung in front of his fragile face. Shion giggled, reaching into his mass of hair and parting it so he could get a glimpse of his face. He saw sharp cheekbones, furrowed black brows, and steely grey eyes, laden with sadness.
Shion stopped laughing, those eyes of his were always so serious.
"What's wrong?" Shion's hand held the nameless boy's.
"Nothing." He mumbled.
"I don't believe you. Your eyes are sad again."
"Shut up. You don't know anything about me."
"Because you don't tell me anything." Shion's usually happy face distorted into a doubtful frown.
"You don't want to know, trust me."
"I want to know everything about you. But I don't even know your name."
"I don't even know my name." The shorter black haired boy confessed.
Shion saw that sadness flicker in his eyes again, so he quickly thought of something to say. "That doesn't matter. You don't need a name. I like you just the way you are."
The hold he had on the boy's hand grew tighter.
"Hey."
"What is it?"
"Can I sleep in your bed again tonight?"
"Of course." Shion's infectious smile was on spread across his face once again.
A week later Shion left. Moved to another house, then quickly adopted after that. Nezumi remained at the house only a few more months before running away. Shion had been there such a short amount of time that Nezumi hadn't even gotten the chance to ask him his name. But before he left, he had given him a charm with an angel on it. The only thing he had left of his mother. It didn't matter that he had given it away anyways, every time he looked at it, his mind became full of blood and screams.
Shion blinked, tears rapidly filling his eyes. "After all these years you never found your name Nezumi?"
Nezumi 's lips curved upwards into a soft smile, he reached out to wipe tears trailing down Shion's face. "You told me you didn't mind that I didn't have a name."
"I said that to make you happy." The tears continued down Shion's face.
"And it did make me happy."
Shion smiled a bit through the tears, "Good."
"Come on, we should go."
Nezumi tugged on Shion's hand and Shion wondered how he could've possibly ever forgotten the way his hand felt in his own.
Outside of the ramen shop, the skies were grey, clouds threatening to pour down rain on the whole city were rolling in slowly but surely. Shion was still staring up at the sky, tears still threatening to break free. Nezumi abruptly stopped.
"What's with the sad face?"
"I'm not sad." Shion sniffled.
"Bullshit." Nezumi grabbed Shion from around the waist. "I'm taking you home. We'll dance and drink tea and recite Shakespeare."
Shion's face lit up again. "Nezumi, you're so strange."
He laughed in response. "Not really."
They held hands the rest of the way home, and Nezumi tried to step in every puddle of rain they came across, trying to elicit a laugh or two from Shion. Shion's glowing face and soft eyes were worth all the cold and damp Nezumi suffered on the way home.
They entered Nezumi's house laughing and soaking wet from the rain. The room was dark, and Shion followed Nezumi as they both slipped out of their wet shoes and socks. The house was relatively clean except for books scattered all over the floors. Shion went to turn on the light and tripped and fell on a copy of Macbeth.
"Shion, I could've gotten the light. Are you okay?"
Shion looked up, Nezumi was offering his hand out to him, and his obsidian hair was wet as it clung to the side of his curved cheekbone. He definitely was not that malnourished girly looking boy he had once been. He was grown up, he was beautiful, and his eyes were still as hypnotizing as they had been all those years ago.
Shion lunged up for Nezumi on a whim of pure feelings, pulling his lips against his own. They were cold but soon warmed against his touch. Nezumi's hands made their way to the side of Shion's face, angling him and pulling him closer. Their kiss grew deeper, the air in the room seemed to not be enough for the both of them, and the clothes on their bodies began to stick like tape. Shion parted his lips, urging Nezumi to explore the depths of his mouth. He gripped tighter onto Nezumi, enjoying the warmth of his body under his fingertips.
Nezumi pulled away, releasing a small breath. "Shion, what do you think you're-"
"Don't you want this?"
"Well," Nezumi's hair seemed to fall in front of his eyes, just like when he was a boy. "Yes, but it doesn't have to be right now. This is our first date. I don't want to rush you."
"But Nezumi," Shion began, pulling his face closer again, "I've known you my whole life. I've seen you in my dreams for years. And now here you are, I can feel you under my fingertips." His eyes were glowing brighter than a flame. "I don't want to wait."
That's all Shion had a chance to say before his face was pulled back in, his lips assaulted with kisses, they traveled down his chin, across his scars, down to the pulse on his neck.
"Shion," Nezumi's breath was hot against his sensitive flesh.
"What is it?"
"I know how you feel. I want you to know that. I couldn't get you out of my mind. You showed me kindness and love when I didn't think anyone could. Thank you Shion."
Shion ran fingers through that silky soft black hair, pulling out the loose tie that held Nezumi's hair up. "Nezumi, don't laugh at me when I say I love you."
"Why would I laugh?"
"I don't know." Shion glanced away, "I'm not good at saying those things."
Nezumi's lips hovered over his skin, the breath from his nostrils tickling him. "I love you too Shion."
Nezumi's hands peeled off Shion's thick jacket, unbuttoning his cardigan. Shion's eyes fluttered closed, his body was burning with each touch, each inhale fed his fire.
When his chest was freed from his shirt, the cool air of the room assaulted his raw skin. He could feel the blush crawl from the pit of his stomach up to his cheeks.
Nezumi's long fingers eagerly traced Shion's scars wrapping around his torso.
"These are so sexy you know that?"
Shion turned away, his cheeks stinging. "Oh, really?"
"You always talked about how much you hated your scars, but when you would sleep at night in the same bed as me, your shirt would sometimes creep up, and I was fascinated by your body."
Shion's body trembled, "Could you not Nezumi? That's so embarrassing."
"I want you to love them as much as I do." Nezumi's teeth shimmered in the darkness with his smile.
Then Shion gasped, feeling Nezumi's slick tongue running its way around the path of the scars. He shivered from head to toe at the feels that were racing through his fevered body. He let go of a few sighs and gasps he had been holding in. Nezumi's teeth nipped at his sensitive skin, watching as the white haired boy's head tossed back, eyelids closed in pleasure. Nezumi decided he would push Shion's limits a little farther. He let his mouth crawl closer to his perked nipple.
Shion's burgundy eye snapped open again, "What are y-"
He was interrupted, and thoroughly shamed by the moan that ripped out of his own throat.
Nezumi's tongue was circling the small mound, pulling back every once and awhile to suck, even grazing the edges with his canines. He held his arched back in his hands, feeling the sweat beginning to form on his skin, and the bulge in his pants beginning to press against his leg.
"Shion?" His voice was low and sweet.
"What?" Shion gasped out, still refusing to open his eyes.
"Undress me."
Shion's eyes snapped open at that. "Nezumi…"
Shion sat still for a moment, before he forced his hands to reach up to his neck, unwrapping his scarf and pulling it off.
His fingers felt his neck, felt the thump of his heart. It was just as unsteady as his own was. This fact comforted him immensely. With more comfort now, Shion unzipped his leather jacket, tossing it off to the ground, covering up a pile of books. He began to pull up the edges of Nezumi's shirt, wondering what his body would be like underneath. He was pleased to find soft white skin, and a flat yet toned stomach. His hand wrapped around his back to finish taking off the shirt when he felt a large, lumpy scar under his hand.
He wanted to know where he got it from, what horror he had endured to earn something that big on his body. But he didn't. Shion smiled, happy that they both had scars, that they were the same in more ways than not. Shion's smile was interrupted by Nezumi's lips, crushing his own, Shion's breath was sucked away and into Nezumi's mouth. He leaned back into him, letting go of a soft moan of satisfaction.
"Shion," Nezumi's voice was beginning to sound breathy. "Touch me."
Shion was shocked, not by the request, but by the fact that Nezumi was here, wanting to be loved by him.
Shion looked into Nezumi's hazy, enduring eyes, and he could feel blood pooling to all the right places. He nodded, reaching for Nezumi's belt and snapping it open, unzipping his pants. His stomach was rippling from the deep breaths he was taking, his skin was burning when he touched it, tracing slowly at the hem of his pants, then dipping down in. When he found that Nezumi was beyond aroused, he felt a little triumphant for having driven him this far all by himself. It was satisfying, enveloping Nezumi in his hand, listening to his breath hitch, feeling his hand get wet with the leaking substance from within his lover.
"Shion. Let's just, let's just make each other feel good for today, okay?"
Shion nodded again at Nezumi's words, although secretly he was relieved, he was sure he would curl in on himself if Nezumi had sex with him. How could he even handle that with a straight face?
"Good then, it's your turn. I need to put my hands on you."
"But I-" Shion was pushed onto his back, his pants dragged down to his ankles. He tossed his head to the side, feeling the cold air hit his arousal. "Dammit Nezumi."
Nezumi just laughed, "Oh come on, we have the same parts, there's nothing to be ashamed of."
Shion looked up at Nezumi in defiance. "But-but, you still have your pants on!"
"Oh," Nezumi looked down, "I'll remove them then."
"That's, I, don't-" Shion turned red when Nezumi took off his own pants, he tried to force his eyes not to look, but he couldn't seem to look anywhere else.
Nezumi kissed Shion's neck again. "You're so cute. Now just lay still, and I'll do something we'll both like, okay?"
Shion had no choice but to lie there. Then Nezumi's hips lowered, and their arousals met, rubbing against one another.
Shion's breath was knocked out of his lungs, "N-Nezumi…"
Nezumi smirked again, repeating the action, listening to Shion say his name in that voice.
Soon Shion's hips were rising off the floor on their own accord, meeting Nezumi's with a rhythm that shook both of their bodies to the core.
"Shion," Nezumi's hand titled his chin towards his face. "Open your eyes."
"No..." Shion gasped, trying to pull away.
"Shion…please, look at me."
At the pleading tone in his voice, Shion slowly opened his ruby eyes. Nezumi was looking down at him, those stormy eyes were swirling, his face was aglow, his hair tossed across his face, long enough to touch the tip of Shion's nose. Shion couldn't resist just staring into those captivating eyes, his heart was aching, and not only from the insistent pounding, but also from the way Nezumi was looking at him. Nezumi leaned down to kiss him softly, grazing their lips against one another. Shion leaned up, kissing his cheek. Nezumi met his eyes again with a smile, and Shion kissed him on the lips one more time, his arms wrapping around his neck for leverage.
"Nezumi, I-"
"It's fine Shion, I will follow you."
Shion buried his face into Nezumi's shoulder, pushing them closer together, their chests touching with each dip and each stroke. Shion could feel the build up in himself, he felt as though he was going to explode, his stomach knotted, and his toes curled. His fingers dug into Nezumi's scar, loving the feeling of the damaged skin underneath his fingertips.
"Nezumi…" His name was all that he could manage as he spilled all over both of them.
From the sound of his name on Shion's lips, Nezumi followed with a barely audible gasp of, "Shion…"
Shion blushed again.
They lay there for a minute, their breaths mingling, and their hearts calming down.
"Shion, will you stay with me tonight?"
"Nezumi, when have I ever let you sleep alone?"
In the bed that night they were both curled around one another, Shion could feel the warmth of Nezumi's chest against his back, hear his breath, and feel his hands resting on his body. It brought back so many forgotten memories of the nights they had shared for those brief two weeks in the orphanage. Shion thought of the scar on Nezumi's back, and curiosity got the best of him.
"Nezumi?"
Nezumi's voice was sleepy, "Huh?"
"You remember when I told you about my scars?"
"Yes, I do."
"When will you ever tell me about yours?"
Shion paused; he could only hear the silence of the room around them.
"When I was really young, my mom was stripping to help pay the bills and provide me with food. I guess one man had a liking to her and when she didn't give him what he wanted, he lit our house on fire in the middle of the night. My mom was incinerated. I could hear her screams echoing throughout the whole house; she was pinned to her bed under a plywood board. I was able to slip out underneath the ruble, but my back was burned. She may have done regrettable things, but she was trying her best. To this day, I can see her lips moving to call out my name, but I can't remember what it was." Nezumi released a breath, "That pendant I gave you, long ago, was the only thing I had left of her."
Shion gasped, tears falling from his eyes. "Nezumi, you must take it back at once."
"No Shion, I don't want it."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because, it's for protecting the ones you love, I want you to have it. I've wanted you to have it since we first met."
Shion turned to Nezumi, burying his face into his chest. "Nezumi. I'm so happy to have you back. I missed you so much."
Nezumi's arms encircled the shaking Shion. "I missed you too, Shion."
Shion continued to cry into his arms for what seemed like hours.
"Shion, stop, there's no need to cry."
"I can't seem to make it stop." Shion peered up at him, smiling through his liquid filled eyes.
Nezumi smiled softly, leaning down to kiss him.
"I love you."
Shion's tears stopped.
"I love you too. Nezumi, promise me, we'll never forget about each other again."
"We never forgot about each other, our minds were just filled with so many doubts, fears, and lies, our memories of one another were buried."
"Well," Shion's eyes were serious once again, "I'll never let that happen again."
"I won't either. I promise."
Nezumi and Shion's fell asleep not long after that, just like they used to, hand in hand.