Chapter 1

In which we learn some of Squidward's History

Ahhh, Ukulele Bottom. My favourite undersea town (apart from Bikini Bottom). It is here and Bikini Bottom that I have gathered a fascinating story that I think you will enjoy.

Along a street of old Easter Island heads the inhabitants use as homes, a front door opened and out came James Tentacles and his wife Sophie. Sophie was expecting a baby and they thought today was the day. They ran to the car, James in front and Sophie in the back, doing her deep breathing.

After a while they made it to the hospital and told the reception what was happening. The receptionist told them the room to go to and they were on their way.

James sat down outside the door to the operating room. He was waiting for only two hours, but it seemed like an eternity. Finally after what seemed like thirty months the doctor came out and said,

"Congratulations Mr. Tentacles, it's a boy."

James walked inside and saw Sophie holding a newborn squid in her tentacles.

"What will we name him?" asked James to his tired wife.

"How about… Squidward?" said Sophie.

"Yeah, Squidward. He'll be our pride and joy."

Then they looked at their newborn son and watched him go to sleep.

Two years later, Squidward was learning quickly. What he wanted most was a clarinet, but James and Sophie couldn't afford it because back then clarinets was worth a lot of money, and with Sophie's job at the Barg N' Mart, and James' job as janitor at the local school, their pay stunk. But they didn't change their jobs because they enjoyed them

When Squidward was two years old Sophie was pregnant again. Squidward and his father were in the waiting room when the same doctor from before came out and said to Squidward:

"Hello, little boy. You're very lucky, you have a little brother now."

"Another boy?" James asked, standing up.

"Yup. Your wife already named him. Go ahead inside."

"C'mon Squiddy," said James as he picked up Squidward in his arms. "Let's go see your baby brother."

Inside they met Sophie and another baby boy in her arms.

"What'd you name him?" James said.

Sophie was very tired. But she managed to say "Squidface" before falling asleep.

During the years Sophie and James seemed to like Squidward better than Squidface. After several years Squidward and Squidface were ready to live on their own.

They were at the bus stop waiting for Squidward and Squidface's buses.

Sophie hugged Squidward tight. "Awe, Squidward! Are you sure you'll be right?"

Squidward smiled. "Don't worry, Mom. I've bought a nice house in Bikini Bottom."

James rubbed a tear off of his eye and walked over to Squidward.

"Son," he began. "I want to give you this… and… good luck." He handed Squidward a new clarinet.

"A clarinet?" said Squidward, delighted.

"Look on the side," said James. "It's engraved."

Squidward turned his new clarinet. On the side there was an inscription that said:

Clairy

Squidward was holding back his tears.

Squidface looked at the commotion. "Hey," he said. "What about me? Do I get a gift?"

James looked at Squidface. "Oh, sure," James searched around his pocket and gave Squidface a cheap key ring.

"But…"

Suddenly a bus pulled up at the bus stop. "Oh, Squidface, that's your bus!" said Sophie.

Sophie pushed Squidface into the bus and threw in his suitcases after him.

"Bye, Mom and Da…" he couldn't finish his sentence because then the bus doors closed and the bus went on it's way to the Mediterranean.

Soon another bus came along. Squidward gave his parents one last hug and went on board.

3 hours later, the bus stopped at Bikini Bottom and Squidward walked out and marvelled at his new home.

"Nothing could possibly ruin this day!" Squidward shouted. Suddenly a yellow hand tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hi! I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!"