Title: GlitRock - The Xani & Obi Adventure
Author: Colli
Mainly Star Wars with several appearances and references to other movies and/or books
Category: Humour
Rated: R - for untasteful clothes, naughty words, sexy intruders, drug use, and clubbing.
Summary: Xanatos and Obi-Wan sharing a flat, have some weird occurrences after a night on glitterstim and Tylenol
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I do not own Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or basically any characters or locations in this story... Except the night club - which I find quite funny if you watch Queer As Folk - However, I really wish I did own all this, but if I did, I definitely would not share Obi, Xani, or Leggy with any of you if it were so.
-------------------------------
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*
"Ugh..." The formerly sleeping figure rolled over, an arm shooting across to the small table beside the bed, searching for the terrible machine that had untimely ripped him from is rest.
The incessant beeping stopped when the entire chrono-unit was chucked at the wall; and once again at peace, the lump under the sheets dozed off, dreaming happily of speeder bikes, hot bars, and a certain young Jedi Knight. Drool dripped slowly from one corner of his mouth, onto the black satin pillowcase.
An hour later, a faint yet disturbing howl could be heard from far outside the window next to the bed. /Have they no respect for the junkies...?/ the lump in the bed wondered. /Oh my head... I'll never try glitterstim again... That's a lie.../
The long, continuing holler was getting more prominent and could be clearly distinguished as someone yelling, rather frantically, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" louder and louder... or closer and closer...
Normally a noise like that would make any normal person jump to his feet and rush to the window, /but this sleep-couch is -so- comfy... and this room... deliciously dark.../ Groaning, the sleep-deprived being rolled away from the noise.
The yelling was becoming intolerably loud and seemed to be quickly approaching. Covering head with pillow or even hiding under the mattress was to no avail. Suddenly, however, the noise stopped, but with it, the window in the apartment crashed inward, shattering transparasteal all over the navy blue shag carpet.
*WHACK*
A dead-weight body smacked hard, face down onto the floor - a light smoke rising from it's back. The figure still lying comfortably in bed, didn't even flinch.
"Hey Obi," came the voice from under the black and midnight blue sheets. "You have fun last night?" Sighing and rubbing his temples, he added, "I can barely remember what I did..." He rolled over to face the smoldering intruder, eyes still shut.
Slowly Obi-Wan rose to his knees, trying to pry small shards of the window from his clothes and flesh. "How did I manage to crash through transparasteal...?" He walked rather lop-sidedly to the edge of the bed and sat down forcefully.
Finally opening one eye, the other looked curiously at his boyfriend. Presently, Obi-Wan sat on the edge of his bed, wearing his customary cloak and tunics, but oddly accented with large yellow boots and a ginormous blue brimmed hat. For some reason, the smoking jetpack attached to his man's back didn't seem surprising. Perhaps because it was the only reasonable way to fly into an apartment on the eleventy-first floor of a Coruscantian building... And of course they /were/ on a lot of glitterstim the night before after all.
"I... had a little problem lat night, Xani..." Obi-Wan stated a bit too hesitantly, "Umm... If a bounty hunter comes looking for his jetpack... Just... Just... Tell him he'll have it back by 5..."
"Sure thing, hun," Xanatos smirked while debating with himself if he should get up. He sat, decided half way was good enough. Brushing the shoulder-length black hair away from his face ad trying to shake the his head out of sleep, he muttered angrily, "If the guy who decided to make Coruscant silver was still alive, I'd boot him one in the groin."
Kenobi took off the jetpack ad slung it down onto the floor. He crawled up the bed and positioned himself right in front of his friend's shuteyes. When Xan peered into the daylight, the hugely grinning face of Obi was hovering about an inch from his own. Xanatos smiled softly and placed a polite kiss on Kenobi's forehead, then slid out of bed and waked toward the 'fresher in his apartment.
"Why can't I ever scare you?!" Obi-Wan complained, "Anyone I go up to on the street like that freaks right out and runs away screaming!" He looked perplexed.
The bare retreating back of his dark jedi shrugged. "You want something to eat, Obi?" Xanatos stopped off at the kitchen on his stumbling, drunken path to the shower, and began rooting through the piles and piles of lemons that had for some reason ended up filling his fridge.
Finding nothing but lemons, he sighed ad grabbed two just as Obi-Wan approached and glanced into the lemon-hold. "Huh..." he started, "lemons... Lots and lots of... lemons..."
"Yea," replied Xanatos, "that's what I was thinking..." Hading the other the two bright yellow citruses he had taken out, he shut the fridge door, making a mental note to /not/ get groceries while high.
"I'm having a shower; you're gonna make... what you ca make with lemons..." Xani staggered off towards the 'fresher again, but stopped, and turned on his heals, "Where /did/ you get that jetpack, anyway?"
"Um.. well you see..." the Jedi took a deep breath and motioned for him to sit, "Iwas mindingmyownbusinessdownatdockingbay94whensomeguycameupandofferedme someglithewasafilthylittleRodiansoItookitIwanderedaroundthelowerlevelsforawhile butIgotboredsoIwenttotheTempletovisitmyoldroomlittledidIknowthattheygiveyour roomawayonceyouleavebutanywayIgotintoafightwiththisreallyannoyingcleaningdroid whowouldnotstopcountingfloortilesandItriedtothrowhimoutthewindowbutitwas strangelyfortifiedanditstartedtochasemeoutoftheTempleandIgotscaredsoIranbackto thedockingbaywhereIgotontheglitbutthishugearmyoflike15tallguyswhowerereally prettywithlongblondehairbuttheyhadthesecrazyweaponsmadeofwoodorsomething thatcouldshootthesepointedwoodenstickswithfeathersontheendswaswaitingformeand theleadernamedLettuceorLeglessorsomethingaskedmeifIknewthewaytotheseabutIgot reallyscaredbecausetheykeptyelling"YRCH!"andweirdthingslikethatbuttheonlywayto escapewasupandluckilyformesomecrazyguyflewoverhead-"
"Obi-Wan?" asked Xanatos from his new seat on the floor.
"Mmmmyesss...?"
"Is this story gonna end anytime soon?"
"Mmmmyesss...!"
"Good, the proceed." He waved for him to continue.
"SolikeIwassaying," Kenobi began, "thisarmouredguyflewoverheadsoIforcejumpedup andgrabbedontohislegsbuthestartedtoslipoutofthejetpackharnesssoIjustgrabbedthat insteadandlethimfalltohisdeathsothenIputonthepackbutthosecrazyblondeguysstarted toshootthosepointedstickswiththefeathersontheendsatmesoIwastryingtododgethe sporadicprojectilesbutIneverwasverygoodatjetpackflyingIthinkIactuallygota48%or somethinginthatclassattheTemplebutthat'sbesidesthepointsoIwasflyingalloverthesky lanesandsomehowImanagedtocrashintoourapartment..." He flashed a grin as he reached down to shut his lover's gaping mouth, "Lucky, huh?"
"Yeah... Sure..." He stuttered with a blank look on his face as Obi-Wan shooed him into the shower and shut the door.
Kenobi leaned against the door and sighed, relieved, "Man... I'm glad he didn't ask about the lemons..."
-------------------------------
When Xanatos stepped out of the shower and into his bacl tunic, something like a grey mist was filtering under the door of the f'resher. A grey mist... No, not moist... Whispey... Smoke. He still fuZZy head took a while to realize what was going on.
He busted open the door and rushed into the kitchen, still pulling on his sithy-knickers. Fanning at the smoke-haZed air, he managed to clear enough viewing space to glimpse Obi-Wan setting the table. It wa piled high with what appeared to be moundsa nd mounds of lemonds, all freshly prepared in different manners.
Approaching the scene, as the other sat himself down with aconfident smile, Xanatos saw exactly what everything on the table was. Shocked, he spoke a if to himself, "How long was I in the shower...?"
Kenobi smirked and pointed to the chair opposite him, "You were handling the prettying-up, I was handling the cooking." He handed Xani a plate and a huge shovel-like spoon. Obi Started to motion to several platters, plaes, dishes, bowls, baskets and even buckets of food, all made entirely from lemons, "We have lemonaid - simple, yet delicious, lemon tea, fried lemon, lemon omlet, lemon pie, lemon surprise, lemon bread, lemon slices, lemon icecream, lemon toat, lemon jam, butter with a twist of lemon, lemon candycanes, lemon juice, pickled lemons, bioled lemon, baked lemon, lemon piZZa, lemon glaZe, lemon french toast, lemon salad, lemon stirfry, lemon jello, lemon fondue, lemon pancakes, lemon tarts, lemon upside down cake, lemon pudding, and finally, lemon flawn." Happy with himself, he quickly dug into the lemon salad and lemon piZZa.
"Seriously though," Xanatos aked, "How long was I in the shower...?" He tentatively poked the lemon fondue, cringing fearfully.
Author: Colli
Mainly Star Wars with several appearances and references to other movies and/or books
Category: Humour
Rated: R - for untasteful clothes, naughty words, sexy intruders, drug use, and clubbing.
Summary: Xanatos and Obi-Wan sharing a flat, have some weird occurrences after a night on glitterstim and Tylenol
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, I do not own Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or basically any characters or locations in this story... Except the night club - which I find quite funny if you watch Queer As Folk - However, I really wish I did own all this, but if I did, I definitely would not share Obi, Xani, or Leggy with any of you if it were so.
-------------------------------
*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*
"Ugh..." The formerly sleeping figure rolled over, an arm shooting across to the small table beside the bed, searching for the terrible machine that had untimely ripped him from is rest.
The incessant beeping stopped when the entire chrono-unit was chucked at the wall; and once again at peace, the lump under the sheets dozed off, dreaming happily of speeder bikes, hot bars, and a certain young Jedi Knight. Drool dripped slowly from one corner of his mouth, onto the black satin pillowcase.
An hour later, a faint yet disturbing howl could be heard from far outside the window next to the bed. /Have they no respect for the junkies...?/ the lump in the bed wondered. /Oh my head... I'll never try glitterstim again... That's a lie.../
The long, continuing holler was getting more prominent and could be clearly distinguished as someone yelling, rather frantically, "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" louder and louder... or closer and closer...
Normally a noise like that would make any normal person jump to his feet and rush to the window, /but this sleep-couch is -so- comfy... and this room... deliciously dark.../ Groaning, the sleep-deprived being rolled away from the noise.
The yelling was becoming intolerably loud and seemed to be quickly approaching. Covering head with pillow or even hiding under the mattress was to no avail. Suddenly, however, the noise stopped, but with it, the window in the apartment crashed inward, shattering transparasteal all over the navy blue shag carpet.
*WHACK*
A dead-weight body smacked hard, face down onto the floor - a light smoke rising from it's back. The figure still lying comfortably in bed, didn't even flinch.
"Hey Obi," came the voice from under the black and midnight blue sheets. "You have fun last night?" Sighing and rubbing his temples, he added, "I can barely remember what I did..." He rolled over to face the smoldering intruder, eyes still shut.
Slowly Obi-Wan rose to his knees, trying to pry small shards of the window from his clothes and flesh. "How did I manage to crash through transparasteal...?" He walked rather lop-sidedly to the edge of the bed and sat down forcefully.
Finally opening one eye, the other looked curiously at his boyfriend. Presently, Obi-Wan sat on the edge of his bed, wearing his customary cloak and tunics, but oddly accented with large yellow boots and a ginormous blue brimmed hat. For some reason, the smoking jetpack attached to his man's back didn't seem surprising. Perhaps because it was the only reasonable way to fly into an apartment on the eleventy-first floor of a Coruscantian building... And of course they /were/ on a lot of glitterstim the night before after all.
"I... had a little problem lat night, Xani..." Obi-Wan stated a bit too hesitantly, "Umm... If a bounty hunter comes looking for his jetpack... Just... Just... Tell him he'll have it back by 5..."
"Sure thing, hun," Xanatos smirked while debating with himself if he should get up. He sat, decided half way was good enough. Brushing the shoulder-length black hair away from his face ad trying to shake the his head out of sleep, he muttered angrily, "If the guy who decided to make Coruscant silver was still alive, I'd boot him one in the groin."
Kenobi took off the jetpack ad slung it down onto the floor. He crawled up the bed and positioned himself right in front of his friend's shuteyes. When Xan peered into the daylight, the hugely grinning face of Obi was hovering about an inch from his own. Xanatos smiled softly and placed a polite kiss on Kenobi's forehead, then slid out of bed and waked toward the 'fresher in his apartment.
"Why can't I ever scare you?!" Obi-Wan complained, "Anyone I go up to on the street like that freaks right out and runs away screaming!" He looked perplexed.
The bare retreating back of his dark jedi shrugged. "You want something to eat, Obi?" Xanatos stopped off at the kitchen on his stumbling, drunken path to the shower, and began rooting through the piles and piles of lemons that had for some reason ended up filling his fridge.
Finding nothing but lemons, he sighed ad grabbed two just as Obi-Wan approached and glanced into the lemon-hold. "Huh..." he started, "lemons... Lots and lots of... lemons..."
"Yea," replied Xanatos, "that's what I was thinking..." Hading the other the two bright yellow citruses he had taken out, he shut the fridge door, making a mental note to /not/ get groceries while high.
"I'm having a shower; you're gonna make... what you ca make with lemons..." Xani staggered off towards the 'fresher again, but stopped, and turned on his heals, "Where /did/ you get that jetpack, anyway?"
"Um.. well you see..." the Jedi took a deep breath and motioned for him to sit, "Iwas mindingmyownbusinessdownatdockingbay94whensomeguycameupandofferedme someglithewasafilthylittleRodiansoItookitIwanderedaroundthelowerlevelsforawhile butIgotboredsoIwenttotheTempletovisitmyoldroomlittledidIknowthattheygiveyour roomawayonceyouleavebutanywayIgotintoafightwiththisreallyannoyingcleaningdroid whowouldnotstopcountingfloortilesandItriedtothrowhimoutthewindowbutitwas strangelyfortifiedanditstartedtochasemeoutoftheTempleandIgotscaredsoIranbackto thedockingbaywhereIgotontheglitbutthishugearmyoflike15tallguyswhowerereally prettywithlongblondehairbuttheyhadthesecrazyweaponsmadeofwoodorsomething thatcouldshootthesepointedwoodenstickswithfeathersontheendswaswaitingformeand theleadernamedLettuceorLeglessorsomethingaskedmeifIknewthewaytotheseabutIgot reallyscaredbecausetheykeptyelling"YRCH!"andweirdthingslikethatbuttheonlywayto escapewasupandluckilyformesomecrazyguyflewoverhead-"
"Obi-Wan?" asked Xanatos from his new seat on the floor.
"Mmmmyesss...?"
"Is this story gonna end anytime soon?"
"Mmmmyesss...!"
"Good, the proceed." He waved for him to continue.
"SolikeIwassaying," Kenobi began, "thisarmouredguyflewoverheadsoIforcejumpedup andgrabbedontohislegsbuthestartedtoslipoutofthejetpackharnesssoIjustgrabbedthat insteadandlethimfalltohisdeathsothenIputonthepackbutthosecrazyblondeguysstarted toshootthosepointedstickswiththefeathersontheendsatmesoIwastryingtododgethe sporadicprojectilesbutIneverwasverygoodatjetpackflyingIthinkIactuallygota48%or somethinginthatclassattheTemplebutthat'sbesidesthepointsoIwasflyingalloverthesky lanesandsomehowImanagedtocrashintoourapartment..." He flashed a grin as he reached down to shut his lover's gaping mouth, "Lucky, huh?"
"Yeah... Sure..." He stuttered with a blank look on his face as Obi-Wan shooed him into the shower and shut the door.
Kenobi leaned against the door and sighed, relieved, "Man... I'm glad he didn't ask about the lemons..."
-------------------------------
When Xanatos stepped out of the shower and into his bacl tunic, something like a grey mist was filtering under the door of the f'resher. A grey mist... No, not moist... Whispey... Smoke. He still fuZZy head took a while to realize what was going on.
He busted open the door and rushed into the kitchen, still pulling on his sithy-knickers. Fanning at the smoke-haZed air, he managed to clear enough viewing space to glimpse Obi-Wan setting the table. It wa piled high with what appeared to be moundsa nd mounds of lemonds, all freshly prepared in different manners.
Approaching the scene, as the other sat himself down with aconfident smile, Xanatos saw exactly what everything on the table was. Shocked, he spoke a if to himself, "How long was I in the shower...?"
Kenobi smirked and pointed to the chair opposite him, "You were handling the prettying-up, I was handling the cooking." He handed Xani a plate and a huge shovel-like spoon. Obi Started to motion to several platters, plaes, dishes, bowls, baskets and even buckets of food, all made entirely from lemons, "We have lemonaid - simple, yet delicious, lemon tea, fried lemon, lemon omlet, lemon pie, lemon surprise, lemon bread, lemon slices, lemon icecream, lemon toat, lemon jam, butter with a twist of lemon, lemon candycanes, lemon juice, pickled lemons, bioled lemon, baked lemon, lemon piZZa, lemon glaZe, lemon french toast, lemon salad, lemon stirfry, lemon jello, lemon fondue, lemon pancakes, lemon tarts, lemon upside down cake, lemon pudding, and finally, lemon flawn." Happy with himself, he quickly dug into the lemon salad and lemon piZZa.
"Seriously though," Xanatos aked, "How long was I in the shower...?" He tentatively poked the lemon fondue, cringing fearfully.