I lie on my bed, to frustrated to talk to anyone, too angry to yell anymore. I pull my Ipod out of my bag, letting the music take over my mind. Each song brings back memories, good and bad. I try to relive every moment, my boyfriend's heartbeat as he held me close, the endless laughter as my friends and I shared every memory. How could I ever forget my pre-summer? Thinking back, I remember that was a time I was truly happy. The hot, 4-weeks-until-summer air, I swear it could have been magical. I remember graduation, all the girls looked gorgeous in their dresses, ranging in every color of the rainbow. The constant flashes of camera's as parents pulled random kids together getting their last 'little-kid' memories on film. I can still small the freshly cutgrass as we all got in single file, my palms became sweaty as the line started to move. The gym entrance came closer, I thought to myself, don't fidget, just walk. The soft murmur of voices went silence, as the graduates entered the gym, taking a seat in the specially reserved wooden chairs. Tears clouded my vision in thought of leaving my friends and classmates. Wow, I really miss those days. Sure, I see some of my friends in the hallways, but I miss the unity we had. The grade eight environment, including the teachers. I turn my Ipod up louder, as the voices of my parents increase. I drift asleep, and remember after graduation, after the school bell rang for the last time, and after crying in each friend's arms, hug, after hug. It was the party, the one last time to see everybody. It was a pool party, every girl had on their best bathing suits, most of them still had their hair done up in perfect curls, or hair sprayed bangs now going frizzy from heat and sweat. I remember being in the pool, getting thrown across it, person after person like a hot potato. I miss it, I can still feel the coolness of each splash as my body hits the water. Then as night rolls in, people go inside, cuddling up to their latest crush, or flirting with the single guys. I remember sitting in the cool grass, as my best friend catches fireflies. He motions the dying insect to me, he liked me then, as I still do now. We sat in the grass for hours, I'm still in my bathing suit covered by a Winnie the Pooh fleece. Wishing these memories could come to life. The harsh opening of my door suddenly awakes me. I looked up and take an earphone out of my right ear. I stare at my mom, her mascara's running down her cheeks, moistened by her tears. She shakes her head then silently closes the door. Not again, I think to myself. I put the earphone back in my ear and quickly return to my happy place. My friend was so close to confessing he liked me, but he was always shy. He never did declared his crush for me. Never. Although, looking into his eyes today, I can still see that little sparkle in his eyes, but I could be mistaken by the sun. As I drift into a deep sleep my mind wanders, no, travels farther back. Back, only about a month before summer. Our teacher has given us some free time, and of course we don't waste it. I'm sitting at a long table with a small group of my friends we call the group of six, we're all just laughing about nothing. I'm up now, staring out my window. The stars are gorgeous, surrounded by a frame of colorful lights. It's close to Christmas, and although this year I hope we can all put our fighting aside for the holidays. Suddenly my music stops, I look down, dead. I pulled the covers off me, and tiptoe to my bag, trying to make the least noise possible, I ruffle through it, but no luck finding the charger. The music's gone, and my memories went with it. I hop back onto my bed, lie on my back and close my eyes, exhausted, I fall asleep. I don't think I dreamt that night, but wake up to a dark room. I look at my clock, it's early but I'm not tired anymore, surprising since I barely got any sleep last night. I sit up and listen, seeing if my parents are up, nothing. I grab an elastic from my nightstand, and pull my boring light brown hair into a bun. I snatch a pair of jeans from the floor, and a t-shirt from my hamper. I quickly brush my teeth, then rip a piece of paper from my notebook. I wrote, just going out for a bit, should be back soon. I snag my jacket from the hanger and pull it over my cold arms. Picking up my bag I head out the door. The crisp air kisses my cheeks as I walk to the bus stop, not knowing where I'm going. My breath makes soft clouds that quickly disappears as I breath in and out. It's still dark out, I'm pretty sure it's daytime, yet early. As I walk down my dark street, lit up by multicolored lights, I ponder where I should go. I cross the street, j-walking through the gaps in traffic. As I near the stop at the end of the street, I think about school, and all the people I look forwards to seeing everyday. Although, there'd that guy, at times I like him, at others I don't. It's weird, mostly because when I'm around him, I always think friends, yet when I sleep, I dream a bigger, stronger relationship. I look to my left, then quickly run across the street, not thinking about looking both ways, two bright beaming eyes screeched to a sudden halt, slamming into my body, sending it soaring through the air.