Decided to practice righting something in Sam's POV. Please review if you will.

Disclaimer: I do not own them.

Dreams flitter like stars in my head.

An endless train, ready to be taken down the tracks, smoke scent filling my lungs and I try hard to fight it, even though I know it is a losing battle.

I scream now. The train explodes, me inside. I see a woman, soft blond curls tied to the ceiling of the train's carrier. Jess.

I begin to realize that when the train explodes, it was really my heart. My passion for Jess was to great at risk for the world I live in, dark and seething. When I said I was done with this, I really meant it. Deep down in the recesses of my mind I knew something like this would happen but my heart didn't want to accept that it would happen.

Then when it did happened...

I was spinning out of control. I was like the loose fiber of a blanket, and my brother, Dean, was the only thing keeping from falling off said blanket. I'm not sleeping either. I try to hide that little factor from Dean, but the bastard always knows what's going on in my head. He is my big brother though, I think it's his instinct, like hunting, except this doesn't hurt anybody, and nine out of ten times, it always works.

My dreams are now jostled, magic fingers pulling me out of incinerated dreams.

Dean.

My brother is the only constant in my life now, a forever being reminding me that I am not alone. He still thinks me of the little twelve year boy I used to be. All long, awkward limbs, still learning how to properly use themselves, and still innocent enough, too.

I begin to wake up properly. Dean asks what I dreamed about. I feel tears pricking my eyes, but I won't cry, I can't.

Dean's asking questions now. I tell him what I can and leave the rest absent.

My brother, he has a tight facade. All cement and never worn, he thinks I have my heart sewn to my sleeve, but he's fooled.

He's not the only one who could hold a mask. I had to learn it from somewhere, right? Dean was the perfect opportunity, seeing as my father was never around and when he was, he was usually drunk or knee-deep in Supernatural books, hunting down the killer of my mother.

Deans still asking questions. I'm tired of listening though, I really want to sleep now.

I tell him that we'll talk about it later, then pull the covers over my shoulders.

I am not prepared (never have been) to go back to my nightmares, but I see Jess, it's my last memory of her (though not a good one, I might add) and it is the only thing I have right now.

The only thing I can hold at night.

The only thing I can't let go of.

Please review!

Also I will update my story, 'Another One' somewhere around 3 days to a week. Check that out too if you like!