Preface:
I was only just realising the consequences for my actions; The pain my words had caused and the shame i had brought to my soul. How was it that yesterday, everything was fine, and today i have nothing? That all hope i had, was a long distance away from me right now. I just prayed that somehow everything will be alright.
Every time, i prayed that someone good and holy would let me be; would make sure that every one i loved would never come to this stage, like i had.
Right now i just needed someone there for because they wanted to be, not because they had to be. It was difficult to trust people.
It was Tuesday morning that i soon realised everything around me was changing. That everything can be back to how it was before. I just needed a little faith.
If that was possible.
Chapter 1:
I sat in my bedroom on that wintery Monday afternoon, watching the snow fall onto the ground; creating a snowy blanket.
I hummed along to a verse in a song that i had just written;
"I am wondering/ if love can pass me by/ like time goes/ I fall and wish away the pain"
I sat beside a picture book. Inside where pictures of my last year at my middle school. I flicked through a few of the pages until the page landed on a picture that always took my breath away; It was me, surrounded by the sweet, earthy forest (on our last trip, too Scotland) But the reason why it took my breath away, was not in vain, but because it didn't look like me. It was a girl with all my features; fair hair, Emerald green eyes, Tanned-ish skin. But it still didn't seem like me, The girl in the picture was wearing her skin in pride, Unlike the new me. I was so used to me looking like a train wreck, covered over by my usual hoodie (no i wasn't into the whole chav fest over by Mc Arcs. It was just that i felt the need to hide from the world, as if my existence was shameful. Yes, yes it was)
Dear Diary, I am sitting here, waiting for Kim to call me. She said she would but i doubt it. She has just been so soaked up with all the gossip, and her new boyfriend Steven, that she hadn't even noticed me at lunch today. Yeah, great best friend she is. But i have to hand it to her, after her last boyfriend, at least she bothered to smile at me on the bus this morning. But nope, she won't bother to TALK to her best friend. Maybe i should have a word with her, let her know how i am feeling. But then again why would she care? Urggghhh.... It's so depressing! Well I'll give you the rest tomorrow after I have thought it all out. X
"Rachel!" Someone yelled. "Rachel! Get down here Right this minute!" ... "Rachel!"
"yes, yes I'm coming" Wait ... Rewind. You don't know who Rachel is. Hi I'm Rachel Kelly and i am just about to get in trouble... as usual.
I walked down my stairs to the living room, where my sister, Annabelle, Stood still holding the house phone in her hands. "Detention? Detention for the rest of the week? For what? A funny little laugh?"
I just shrugged my shoulders. "answer me Rachel. What was going through your mind when you decided to go in to the boys changing rooms and take some ones trousers? –wait no don't answer that. Just Speak!" She yelled.
"What do you want me to say? I'm having a good time at school. You can't actually have a good time without getting in a little trouble." I folded my arms, pleased that my answer seemed a little smart, even for me.
"NO! You have fun, you have a laugh. You DON'T get a week's worth of detention!"
"Urgghhh!!!! Just leave me alone. Its not like i'll be there anyway." I stormed off back to my room.
Yep. I was moving at the weekend. Moving to good old... Rugby. The place where druggies like to breed. But don't worry, Didn't you know that Beyonce and Rihanna both grew up in Rugby? That that is where all the great famous people live. No? No because it's not true. Rugby is the murder capital of England (no not really. I just don't like the place)
"Why are you destroying my LIFE?" I screamed and slammed my door shut, making a big 'bang'.
I fell on my bed in a sob. Why now? Why did we have to move now? Oh yeah. Because of the house. But the house is all i have left. And we are moving as far as we can away from it. If only, If only.
I just hoped that some where they would hear my prayers. That someone would listen to me. I have rights. I have needs. I have a right to stay in my parents' house. I have a need to wait. Anna kept on saying that they would never come back. That they would never come home to me. But i knew better. I knew that they would come back, and they would come back soon.
My parents both left for a cruise around the Caribbean, me being me just didn't want to go. So i had the house to myself for two weeks. But then my parents never returned. My sister came to stay for a while. Its been three months. But i still hadn't given up. They wouldn't just leave me. Not on my own. Not like this. They would have just told me. Or given me away. I kind of feel sorry for my sister. She is stuck with me. I am all she has left out of family, and i am probably the most boring person you can ever meet, If you don't understand me that is. If you do then we will get along just fine. But i must tell you. I am boring.
My sister had planned to move me into her apartment in Rugby, Because that is where her job is and blah blah blah. But i don't get why i have to go. I don't have a job. I am 14 for Christ's sake. I don't need all of this. And i will not leave. Yeah right, we all know what Anna's temper is like. So i will carry on messing around, just until i find the right moment is to stop. That is when she blows up; like a balloon, Poof. And then i will give in. But not a second sooner.