A/N: Wow! A new fic...only takes about...mmm 3-4 months. I started writing this in June, haha. I kept updating it on my computer when I had time...I already have half a second chapter written. All characters are the property of the lord and master Richard O'Brien kneels and bows in reverence and 20th Century Fox and not myself tears but please, R&R! It would be most appreciated, thanks! This is in Janet's point of view...Souvenir is a story about...well...the title is self explanatory. I love all things Janet and Susan Sarandon 3 Anyways, enough babbling...here's the story!

I held tightly to the windowsill, my fingers gripping the wood so tightly that my nails chipped the paint slightly where they rested. As I looked up out the window and into the vast twilight, I remember a time when all I did looking at the stars was admire how beautiful they were, how their distant twinkling was as far as any eyes could see, that beyond those stars was cold nothingness where no other life dared to exist.

Then, one night, two weeks ago, everything changed.

At first it was great, why, living in complete innocence wasn't all bad...but after we entered the castle, Brad and I were already doomed. 'Darling Brad' and I had been upswept in a torrent of lust and seduction by the 'Master' of the castle, Dr. Frank N. Furter. My, this man really knew how to please a woman. Not only did he deflower me, but my fiancé Brad as well. He inspired the sexual prowess in me, timid little Janet Weiss, to actually seduce his creation. Blonde haired, blue eyed, muscular Rocky Horror was a handsome man...so sweet. He was almost like a puppy...even more innocent than I had been at the time, even before Frank introduced me to how delicious it was to give myself over to absolute pleasure. I had the upper hand, I had the ace up my sleeve, I was the one in control of the situation. So empowering it had been...it had changed my entire persona completely, being in that castle one night.

On a night out...who had ever imagined that this night out would change Dr. Scott, Brad and I forever.

Dr. Scott had up and left as soon as he had found himself a new wheelchair. As kindly and reliable as Brad had claimed the man to be, he was completely frightened of being around us, as if it had been our fault that we ended up at the castle and we had lured him there. Before, I would have been extremely apologetic, but I was a bit angry at this reaction. That bastard had not had his life completely changed...so what, he had witnessed the Floor Show, and a couple of men being killed, as well as seeing his own dismembered nephew lying beneath a glass dinner tabletop. That was no reason to simply up and leave, not answering the telephone when we (or should I say Brad) called, nor answer the doorbell when we did arrive at his home. He was behaving like a child, and Brad continued to make excuses for it.

Ahh yes....my darling Brad...how things have changed.

I remember when Brad was considered my strength, my pillar, what propelled me through life. How that image was so cruelly shattered...one night in Frank's castle sucked the masculinity out of Brad pretty badly...he still could hold his own, but he wouldn't stay in a dark room without me being there. He was incredibly jumpy, shuddering at the slightest whispers of unanticipated touch. I remember the night after we returned from the castle...he held me in his arms for hours, we were both completely shaken up. As rattled as he was...he still was my source of comfort, security...always was. And that hasn't changed, despite the fact that both of us are different.

The next day Brad and I made love for the first time together...it wasn't exactly like we had imagined, because both of us had experienced sex with others, before, and it felt more obligatory than something that spontaneously occurred. There was really no emotion in it at all...simply for the act of doing it. I cried myself to sleep that night in his arms, after I had made sure that he was asleep. What did I cry for? I cried because of what we had had, and what we had lost...and I hoped that something would happen that would tie us together again...we had grown so far apart.

Tears now spring to my eyes as I stand at the window. It being a week before Thanksgiving, the weather was colder and the nights came faster, and Brad was still at work. He'd be home soon though. I dreaded and welcomed this thought...I wouldn't be alone in the house anymore, yet I would be.

Brad came home right when I started poking my nose in the fridge, trying to decide what would be easy to throw together. He sighed tiredly and set his briefcase down on the table, and smiling wanly at me. "Hi, Janet." He said. He sounded so broken...so hurt.

I cast my eyes to the floor as I shut the fridge door. I was blinking back tears. "Hi Brad." I swallowed. "H-How was your day, darling?"

"I guess I could say it was pretty good...for a Tuesday. Honestly, I couldn't really concentrate on work today."

Clearing my throat, I asked needlessly, "Why not, Brad?"

With this, I looked up at him. He punched the table, and angry tears sprung from his eyes.

"This, Janet."

"The table?" I asked stupidly, knowing what he really meant. I was avoiding it, but it was not to be avoided today.

"No Janet. What happened to us? I love you, I really do. Why else would I have asked you to marry me? But ever since that...that...that night, it's been so different. Sometimes I wonder if I know you at all." A tear slid down his cheek as he confessed this to me.

I couldn't hold back my own tears as he looked right at me. My lower lip quivered, and my whole body began to shake all over. I opened my mouth to speak, but my throat choked up and I began openly sobbing. Falling against the kitchen counter for support, I felt as if all the tears I had been trying to hide had become exposed. My chest heaved and I stammered when I finally could speak.

"I-I'm so s-s-sorry, B-Brad." I whispered, wiping miserably at the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I don't know what's happened to me...sometimes I don't even recognize myself. Everything I've known has become either a thing of the past, or an illusion which I've finally been able to see through." My voice lowered to a whisper, and I felt with each word, my voice strained as my throat threatened to close up on me.

"I want to love you again the way I used to...no, I want to love you again more than I used to. Before it was all about the old traditions, and the smartness of a match, as if we were back in times where they arranged marriages for convenience rather than for romance." I sniffled. "Frank made me into a monster, a monster that was consumed by lust...lust and guilt are what made me seduce Rocky...I never would have..." Sobs shook my being and I became unable to speak once more for several minutes. Looking up at Brad with blurred vision, I noticed that he was crying too, his eyes sadly focused upon the floor as the tears fell down his cheeks.

It felt as if this image of myself, or rather, the disillusion Frank had given me, was finally starting to wear off. I wasn't unhappy with Brad, I had been unhappy with myself. Both of us had been affected by that one night, but I had been convinced for so long that by pretending that I contained all the strength and all the power in the relationship was making me unhappy. I needed someone to lean on, and that person was Brad.

"Please forgive me, Brad," I said after a short while, my sobbing more subdued. "I can't right the wrongs I've made in the past, but I can realize the truths I've been keeping from myself. I can try and make myself whole again...not the same Janet Weiss I've always been, but perhaps better. One that is honest with herself. One that isn't afraid to say what's on her mind. And you have always been, and always be, my rock. I'm sorry you had to tolerate the monster I had become for a while...I'm not completely sure that monster's still gone, either."

He looked into my eyes, his cheeks streaked with tears. Once more I saw that mischievous twinkle in his eye that he had had since I had known him, one that promised of at least happier times. He knelt upon the floor, and crawled over to me, as I sat slumped against the cabinets. His hands sought mine, and he squeezed them tightly as he came closer still. Releasing his grip on me, his arms wrapped around my torso and he pulled me onto his lap. Embracing me, his chin rested in the crook of my neck, and he slowly rocked me back and forth.

"I love you more than anything, Janet. Of course I would forgive you. That's what love is. If only you could forgive my brief infidelity-"I reached up and held a forefinger to his lips to silence him. "Don't mention it," I breathed, relief filling my heart. "If you can forgive me so easily, I can definitely do the same for you, Brad darling." I reassured him, feeling more and more complete as I did so.

He reached his hand up to grasp mine, his fingertips brushing the palm of my hand as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. As I looked into his eyes, I felt the sting in my eyes as well, and I smiled at him. Turning my head, I closed my eyes as my lips brushed against his, a tear sliding down my cheek as I did so. He rocked me in his arms as we kissed, and he held me in his arms for at least a half an hour.

Smiling once I felt the emotional storm was finally over, I sniffled one last time, and carefully got to my feet. Holding a hand out to him, he got to his feet as well, and we embraced again. Looking over his shoulder at the clock above the stove, I laughed.

"Well, so much for dinner, Brad darling. It's already seven o'clock and I have nothing prepared." I sighed wearily. "Any ideas?"

Brad smiled and using his thumbs, wiped the smudged cosmetics from beneath my eyes. "I have an idea. How about we go out for dinner? We haven't done that in a while."

A smile unfurled upon my lips...

Humming a tune as I swept the kitchen floor the next morning, I laughed at my warped reflection in the door of the microwave oven. Last night had been incredible...after dinner Brad and I had gone to an outdoor theatre and ended up having sex in the backseat like two horny teenagers in high school instead of watching the movie like a good couple should. Well, a chaste couple, that is. The complete spontaneity of the evening made it incredibly enjoyable, and I can't remember being so happy. Brad had even left for work at such an early hour with a smile upon his face, whistling as he waltzed out the door, winking seductively before I shooed him out with the broom.

Sighing contentedly, I wondered how Brad and I had passed up such lovely evenings before...and then remembering with a sting, put it out of my mind. Looking up at the calendar, I marked off yesterday's little square, and counted the days left till Thanksgiving. A couple of weeks remained still. Taking note of the date, something in my mind snapped and a sudden realization sprung to me. It had been at least two weeks since my last period had been due, yet I had become so preoccupied with my emotions that the days and nights completely melted together. My breathing began to increase and my heart hammered in my rib cage, and I swallowed rather nervously. No no no...it couldn't be...not possible. Not at all. But my courses never came late...unless...it had to be.

A panic had seized my body and my morning had been shattered. Shaking, I put the broom back in the closet and began to breathe deeply as I made my way upstairs to the bedroom to change. I had to go to the pharmacy...no doubt about it. The greatest fear that I had was that I couldn't be sure it was Brad's child and that was what scared me the most.

Changing out of the sweats I cleaned the house in, I buttoned my blouse rather quickly, and had to redo a couple of buttons after realizing that I hadn't matched them right in my worried haste. Biting my lip and drooping my shoulders, I took a deep breath and studied my brown eyes in the mirror. It's alright, I told myself...nothing's for certain and we're just going to make sure, okay? Breathing deeply once more, I pulled on a pair of snug blue jeans and a sweater, ran a brush through my curls and pinned them with barrettes. In minutes I was out the door and to the drugstore, white plastic purse slung over my shoulder, car keys in hand. I muttered a prayer as I made my way to the dusty station wagon...