Disclaimer: I do not own anything; Characters belong to Joss Whedon & Mutant Enemy. However this story is my own.
Summary: ONE SHOT. Set immediately following Chosen. Dawn gives Buffy a box of Spike's things, that he intended to save if he made it out of Sunnydale.
A/N: CALLING ALL BETA'S! I really think I need a beta for my story 'Good Will Hunting' if you want to take a read and help me out I'd be so grateful. Just PM me if you're interested.
A/N: this could turn into a full story if you think it should continue as I have a few ideas. Review and let me know what you think.
Out Of The Darkness...
They drove for what seemed like days. It was in fact hours, before they made it within a safe distance away from the cater formally known as Sunnydale. Buffy sat numbly listening to the now new slayers chatting away, buzzing with their new found power.
She looked over at Willow, she was still drained from the spell. She gave Buffy a weak smile and rolled her eyes at Kennedy's chatter.
At the front of the bus she studied Faith and Robin, he was still in pain from his stomach wound. Faith was being oddly attentive. 'She must really like this guy' Buffy thought to herself.
Giles stared forward at the open road in front of him, she caught a glimpse of his face in the rear view mirror. He looked older, she hadn't really realised it. She still had so much she needed to say to him but now was not the time, but it was coming somewhere in the near future she was going to air her grievances.
Xander sat with Dawn's head resting on his shoulder. She grimaced at the thought of Xander's eye, she could still hear the sickening crunch Caleb's thumb made as he pushed against Xander's eye. She still felt guilty for what happened that night, Xander gave her a look as if he knew what she was thinking. She smiled sadly at her best friend.
Andrew sat behind her trying to make conversation with her "...I'm totally obsessed with LL Cool J and I don't know why"
"Huh?" Buffy asked "Sorry Andrew... I'm just not..."
"No talking? Got it" he said. Backing off not wanting a tired pissed off Slayer to throw him out of the moving school bus.
Giles piped up from the front of the bus "There's a motel a mile down the road, maybe we should buckle down for the night" he suggested
"Yeah, we need to get Robin to a hospital too" Said Faith
"What do you think Buffy?" Asked Giles
"Uh sure..." She said bleakly.
They stopped at the drab motel and checked into their rooms. Buffy wanted her own room, she got her key and set off leaving the others in the lobby.
"Is she okay?" Asked Andrew
"Sure... She'll be fine" said Dawn, she was equally as concerned.
XXXXX
Buffy mindlessly turned on the shower and stepped into the spray, letting the hot water run down her body easing her muscles. She couldn't hold it in any longer, somebody that was supposed to be here wasn't. He gave up his unlife for her mission, she sat at the bottom of the shower cubicle with her knees to her chest - sobbing as the water took her tears away.
After half an hour of sobs she finally felt tired enough to go to bed, she threw on some grey yoga pants and a white vest and curled up on the bed. A knock at the door startled her
"Buffy... It's me" said Dawn "Can I come in for a minute?"
Buffy sighed and went over and let her in "What's up?"
"Nothing kinda needed to get out of my room sharing with Vi and Rona was a bad idea they're both too wired to sleep" Dawn explained
"Uh-huh" Buffy said sitting with her legs crossed on the bed "What's that?" She asked gesturing to the box that Dawn held under her arm.
"Uh... I don't know whether you wanted it..." She said handing her sister the large wooden box "It's Spike's. He made me promise that if he didn't make it I'd give this to you"
Buffy stared down at the box that was in her hands. "Thank you" she whispered
"I can stick around if you wanted someone with you when you..." Dawn offered
"No... Thank you but no" she said placing the box on the dresser.
"Buffy you've been through a lot these past few days you need someone to-" Dawn tried to reason with her.
"Dawn I'm fine... I'm just tired. I'll talk to you in the morning okay?"
The brunette sighed "Okay, get some rest" she smiled giving her sister a kiss on the cheek and leaving the room.
Buffy let her out of the room and locked the door. She turned and looked at the box, she ran her fingertips over it.
She hesitated opening it, there was a large padlock on the front. Obviously Spike knew she'd be able to easily open it seeing as how Dawn hasn't presented her with a key.
He had been gone for just a few hours but what she wanted more than anything was him to be holding her. Not some box replacing him. "Stupid vampire" she murmured
She took the padlock in her and and pulled it clean off in one swift motion. She opened the lid and saw an envelope resting on the top with 'Buffy' written in elegant script.
She exhaled harshly and picked it up her hands trembling as she sat on the edge of the beaten up bed of her motel room.
She opened the envelope and took out the paper contents.
'My dearest Buffy,
As I write this you're sound asleep, I keep looking over at you trying my hardest to say something profound. Something that you can take with you for the rest of your life. But I'm not coming up with anything good.
I know you said that you're not ready for me to not be here, and honestly I don't want to leave you. You've been my guiding light for so long now, but there comes a point where you have to figure out what's important. The mission is what matters.
I just want you to know that i will always be with you, like on those sunny days when you feel the warm rays of the sun kissing your face and the wind blowing through your hair—that's going to be me caressing your face. Or on that cold winter night when the first snowflake descends from the sky and lands on your nose—that's going to be me giving you a gentle kiss. And during the moments when you randomly get goose bumps, you better believe that's me.
I once told you that you belong in the shadows with me, I was wrong you belong in the light. I hope you get the life you've always wanted, that will make all of this worth it.
All my love. Always
William'
Tears dropped onto the letter in front of her smudging his handwriting. She clutched the paper to her chest and sobbed slipping off the bed onto the floor as she wept.
A/N: Okay I was really struggling with Spike's letter to Buffy and finding the right words, I used part of a letter from this website /long-distance-love-letter/ it seemed to fit quite well but I didn't want to take credit for it so all credit for that part of this fic goes to that talented person who wrote it.