Disclaimer: None of the characters belong to me. The title comes from the SheDaisy song "Holding Out (For You)".
A/N: So, there's finally a category for Dawn of the Dead, how cool. I'm looking forward to reading the stories in the category, especially those by Chase's Aces. But anyway, here's another story to add to the category. I hope everyone enjoys it and please review.
"She's dead." If Terry counted the number of times he had heard that phrase in the last ten minutes, it would take him more then two hands. Yet, he heard those two words again as they all gathered in Metropolis, by Hallowed Grounds. Well, all of them except for Nicole, the only one that really mattered much to him.
It was Steve who had spoken this time and he didn't speak with any of the gentleness that the others had used when they had said the same words minutes earlier. Steve looked at Terry as he spoke out of the corner of his eye, as though he wanted to see how he would react to those words.
"She's dead." Steve repeated, primly. "I don't see any point to going over there and risking our asses for a dead girl."
Terry stared at him but didn't say anything; he had decided earlier to remain silent whenever Steve said anything. It was much wiser that way. Ana was sitting beside Steve on one of the stools that stood around Hallowed Grounds' wraparound counter and also glared at the man. "Be quiet." She snapped and Steve looked over at her. "If you don't have anything productive to say, just shut the hell up."
Steve looked surprised, but did as she asked, probably just because he didn't know how to react. Terry shot Ana a thankful glance but she wasn't looking in his direction and missed the gesture all together.
"Well, I think Steve has a point." CJ, the other surviving security guard remarked, more for the satisfaction of getting a rise out of Ana then for anything else. "I mean, she's probably dead and if she's not, she will be soon. I don't understand why we have to go get her."
Terry suddenly found that he couldn't take anymore. This was Nicole they were talking about for goodness sakes! "She's not dead." He snapped and everyone looked at him. He hadn't spoken since they had left the roof. "And we've got to get her; she's one of us."
Steve rolled his eyes, his voice returning. "Well, no one asked her to get in that damned truck and drive across the zombie infested streets and for what? A damn dog." He chuckled and downed another shot of whatever alcoholic substance he had filled his Styrofoam cup with.
Monica, the curly blonde who always decided to have an opinion about everything, nodded in agreement. "Yeah, what kind of stupid bitch would risk her life for a dog?" She questioned and looked directly at Terry. Ever since they had come to Crossroads, Nicole and Monica had hated each other, for reasons only the two of them knew but Terry had always suspected that it was because Monica was jealous of his relationship with Nicole.
"Enough!" Michael, the salesman who never raised his voice unless it was absolutely necessary, shouted and the retort Terry was about to snap off at Monica died on his lips. "Fighting isn't going to get us anywhere." He looked pointedly at the four who had been doing the arguing. "Let's talk about what we're going to do reasonably."
There was a silence for a long moment but finally Steve spoke up again. "I really do think she's dead." Terry sighed audibly, as did Ana. "Really, think about it." He continued, more defensively then before. "We know Andy got bit and we also know that Nicole met up with Andy. Now let's put two and two together." He trailed off, a patronizing tone slipping into his voice as he looked at Terry.
Kenneth, the burly ex-cop from Fort Pastor, nodded, as though considering and Terry felt his heart sink. No one else would act without Kenneth's approval, as though someone had dubbed him their unofficial leader and if he was agreeing with Steve and the others, then there was no chance to rescue Nicole.
"The chances that Nicole is still human are very slim." Kenneth mused in agreement and Terry's fear for the safety of the woman he loved escalated.
He turned to face Kenneth. "You're not thinking about just leaving her over there are you?" He questioned, though those words didn't really have much point. That was what they were arguing about, after all. "You can't do that. We can't leave her."
Kenneth didn't answer but looked away from Terry, as though he couldn't bare to see the agonized look on the boy's features. Terry turned to look at Ana, who was the only other ally he felt like he had now that Nicole was gone. "C'mon, we've got to do something." He pleaded.
Ana didn't meet his gaze. "We do have to get the guns in Andy's shop anyway." She pointed out and looked at Kenneth. It was the only way she knew of to get them to consider going to get the redheaded girl, even though she was just as sure of what they would find over there as the others were.
"The trucks aren't ready." Kenneth said, his voice thick with authority. He was tired of having this discussion. "It was Nicole's choice to go over there and now she's going to have to live with the consequences." He added.
"I don't believe you." Terry said, his voice filled with emotion. "You're talking about what's happened like she's just some little kid who broke his favorite toy. This is life or death, this is her life we're talking about. We can't just leave her other there to die."
Terry looked from face to face, waiting for an answer, for support, for anything at all, his hope slipping away with every second that passed in silence. They weren't going to rescue Nicole. He knew that for a fact now. They were going to be able to sleep at night, knowing that they had left her over there to die.
Not knowing what else to do, Terry turned and headed toward the stairs that led to the roof. No one tried to stop him, not like he had expected them to do so and he was more then happy to get away from them, even Ana, who he had always thought of as the most human out of all of them. She never once forgot they were all still people amidst the creatures.
The roof was different with Nicole with him. Terry let the cool air pressed against his cheeks and headed over toward the edge of the roof, where he had stood many nights with Nicole, looking up at the stars or out at the sparkling city lights that hadn't yet burned out. But now there was no Nicole to talk to, to laugh with, to wrap his arms around and enjoy being with.
Terry looked toward Andy's Gun Shop, where the woman he loved was trapped, with no escape and no hope. The woman he loved, Terry repeated those words in his head. Had he ever told her that he loved her? He didn't think so and now he'd never get the chance to do so.
"Stop it." He told himself forcibly. "You're starting to sound like them." And he was, thinking of Nicole as one of the dead. There was no proof that she was dead and he wasn't going to give up on her until he actually saw her corpse.
That thought made Terry shudder and he pushed it away; he didn't want to think of Nicole as anything but the bubbly, smiling, gentle redhead that he had fallen in love with.
Terry sighed and buried his face in his hands; he couldn't help but feel like Nicole's botched rescue attempt was somehow his fault. Maybe if he had fought harder to keep her dog from going out into the sea of zombies then she wouldn't have had to go and 'rescue' him. But he hadn't done anything, he had just kept silent and gone along with what Kenneth said, just like the others.
And now he might never see Nicole again. Why had she gone alone? Surely she must have known that he would have gone with her, would have gone to keep her safe. But she hadn't said so much as a goodbye. And no goodbye kiss, Terry thought and felt his heart wrench in his chest. Every time they were separated, even if it was just for a few minutes, Nicole always insisted on giving him a quick little goodbye kiss. "Just in case", she would always say with a playful smile on her face but a serious glint in her eyes. This time there had been no kiss.
Despite these things, Terry refused to accept that he would never see her again, that he would never get another kiss from her, hear her laugh, see her smile or get to tell her that he loved her.
Though his brain knew that the odds of Nicole being the same girl he had known and loved only hours before, Terry still wouldn't accept it. There were just some things a heart wouldn't listen to.