A/N: This is a first attempt at writing Yami No Matsuei fanfiction, or any fanfiction for that matter. I'll write what I feel like writing, that's what I do. I write to my heart's little desire and nothing more. I write for myself and nobody else. I just happened to choose to share this with the general public, or rather, anybody who stumbles upon it. I could care less as to some peoples' opinions; I've seen how rude people have been on this site. In other words, if you're an asshole, fine. If you're giving helpful critizism, cool. I really don't care if you have a negative opinion or not about this peice. Just read it, and if you don't like it, stop. If you do, well then feel free to keep reading. .; As said earlier, helpful comments and soforth are quite welcome, as are insults. However those will kindly be ignored. Also, I do not own Yami No Matsuei or any of its characters, as expected. If I did own them, then Hisoka would be running around in a pretty little bunny outfit(no, not a cute one, I'm talking playboy bunny outfit .). On to the fic.
-Cat
Severed Hearts
/What I am to you
Is not real
What I am to you
You do not need
What I am to you
Is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea
What I give to you
Is just what I'm going through
This is nothing new/
Damien Rice - Volcano
The embrace was warm, as usual, but there was discomfort on Hisoka's face. The look was quickly erased as it had been for the past what was it? Six months? Something like that. He turned and smiled at his husband and innocently announced that he needed to use the bathroom; leaving the loving arms of his man and into the bathroom.
"Shit." He uttered under his breath, a troubled look all over his face as if he was a child who had indulged in a nice chocolate cake. The trouble was no longer there, however, it was long gone. Try four months ago when he realised it. Now to find a way to break it to Tsuzuki.
Quick. Think. Something... Cup. Yes, grab cup fill with ugh... toilet water.. oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do...
He took the cup full of water and slowly dumped it in back into the place where it belonged in the first place. He needed to plan what he was going to say and plan it quick, because he was going to be gone tomorrow.
Great. Empty. No more water. Time to flush and whatever. Wash hands.. must wash hands.. project some emotio-fuck it. It's coming out anyways
And with that he headed back to the bed without his usual fakened smile(which was faker then imatation crab anyways...). He lay down, but on the opposite side of the bed as his lover, not even facing the older man, not the usual thing for him to do. He looked at the wedding band, a simple gold ring, with leaves around it, in black hills gold. One leaf gold.. one copper, one almost silver, the thing was beautiful, though fading with age.
"Hisoka?" The purple-eyed scooted closer to the blonde. "You look troubled, honey. What's wrong?"
Silence.
"'Soka? You okay?"
Still no reply.
The man finally put his arms around the younger, and was returned with the other turning himself to face him, one hand on chest, and what was that all the sudden? Yes, yes I believe that was Tsuzuki being pushed away?
"Tsuzuki.. I... I..." Hisoka looked to the opposite way as a tear found its way down his cheek, then another, and another until he was full out crying. "It's gone, it's all gone, it's wilted like a rose or something and-"
"Hisoka? You're not making any sense."
He pulled himself together and tried to say it as subtle as possible "Tsuzuki I don't love you anymore, it's dead, it's more dead than me." So much for being subtle. He watched the man shake his head in disbelief and turned his head to cry more.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," the younger's voice dulled to a low murmer. "I can't go on like this, it's killing me and it's going to kill you,"
"No..." The older couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No.. 'Soka, we've been together for 50 years now, does that mean anything to you?"
The choke had reached both their voices; Pillows were officially drenched, a room that was once full of a love so strong it was drunkening was dying, or rather, dead on one side. "No, of course not! Tsuzuki, you were my first everything, my first lover. You changed me so much. I'm a completely different person then what I was when I first met you." He paused to maybe pull some understanding into the other's eyes. "You taught me to ilovei/, Tsuzuki, you taught me to care, to trust, you helped me so much and I care about you so much but the love isn't there anymore."
More silence. Something like that.
"I have it planned out, I called the divorce court awhile ago and the date is scheduled for tomorrow, along with my transfer to london. I'll be gone tomorrow night, it will be better for you if I'm not around. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have to." The look was serious. This was really happening. 50 years down the drain.
"You've had this planned? How long has this been going on?" Tsuzuki's voice cracked throughout the sentence.
"Six months.. give or take.." He was ashamed of what he felt, the once strong bond they held was deteriorating slowly over the past six months, and here lies the reason.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell your husband of 50 years that you don't love them anymore and you can't explain why? My point exactly." Hisoka's voice returned to a whisper once more "So sorry. I'm so sorry.."
Tsuzuki faced the ceiling. The conversation was long over and his nose had started to run. Hisoka faced the ceiling, his hand resting in the empty space, and what was that? Oh. Fingers running under his to hold his hand, only for the reciever's hand to be jerked away.
"Goodnight, Tsuzuki, I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight."
And with that, the boy vacated the room until morning.
To be continued...
-Cat
Severed Hearts
/What I am to you
Is not real
What I am to you
You do not need
What I am to you
Is not what you mean to me
You give me miles and miles of mountains
And I'll ask for the sea
What I give to you
Is just what I'm going through
This is nothing new/
Damien Rice - Volcano
The embrace was warm, as usual, but there was discomfort on Hisoka's face. The look was quickly erased as it had been for the past what was it? Six months? Something like that. He turned and smiled at his husband and innocently announced that he needed to use the bathroom; leaving the loving arms of his man and into the bathroom.
"Shit." He uttered under his breath, a troubled look all over his face as if he was a child who had indulged in a nice chocolate cake. The trouble was no longer there, however, it was long gone. Try four months ago when he realised it. Now to find a way to break it to Tsuzuki.
Quick. Think. Something... Cup. Yes, grab cup fill with ugh... toilet water.. oh well, you gotta do what you gotta do...
He took the cup full of water and slowly dumped it in back into the place where it belonged in the first place. He needed to plan what he was going to say and plan it quick, because he was going to be gone tomorrow.
Great. Empty. No more water. Time to flush and whatever. Wash hands.. must wash hands.. project some emotio-fuck it. It's coming out anyways
And with that he headed back to the bed without his usual fakened smile(which was faker then imatation crab anyways...). He lay down, but on the opposite side of the bed as his lover, not even facing the older man, not the usual thing for him to do. He looked at the wedding band, a simple gold ring, with leaves around it, in black hills gold. One leaf gold.. one copper, one almost silver, the thing was beautiful, though fading with age.
"Hisoka?" The purple-eyed scooted closer to the blonde. "You look troubled, honey. What's wrong?"
Silence.
"'Soka? You okay?"
Still no reply.
The man finally put his arms around the younger, and was returned with the other turning himself to face him, one hand on chest, and what was that all the sudden? Yes, yes I believe that was Tsuzuki being pushed away?
"Tsuzuki.. I... I..." Hisoka looked to the opposite way as a tear found its way down his cheek, then another, and another until he was full out crying. "It's gone, it's all gone, it's wilted like a rose or something and-"
"Hisoka? You're not making any sense."
He pulled himself together and tried to say it as subtle as possible "Tsuzuki I don't love you anymore, it's dead, it's more dead than me." So much for being subtle. He watched the man shake his head in disbelief and turned his head to cry more.
"I don't want to hurt you anymore," the younger's voice dulled to a low murmer. "I can't go on like this, it's killing me and it's going to kill you,"
"No..." The older couldn't believe what he was hearing. "No.. 'Soka, we've been together for 50 years now, does that mean anything to you?"
The choke had reached both their voices; Pillows were officially drenched, a room that was once full of a love so strong it was drunkening was dying, or rather, dead on one side. "No, of course not! Tsuzuki, you were my first everything, my first lover. You changed me so much. I'm a completely different person then what I was when I first met you." He paused to maybe pull some understanding into the other's eyes. "You taught me to ilovei/, Tsuzuki, you taught me to care, to trust, you helped me so much and I care about you so much but the love isn't there anymore."
More silence. Something like that.
"I have it planned out, I called the divorce court awhile ago and the date is scheduled for tomorrow, along with my transfer to london. I'll be gone tomorrow night, it will be better for you if I'm not around. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I have to." The look was serious. This was really happening. 50 years down the drain.
"You've had this planned? How long has this been going on?" Tsuzuki's voice cracked throughout the sentence.
"Six months.. give or take.." He was ashamed of what he felt, the once strong bond they held was deteriorating slowly over the past six months, and here lies the reason.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to tell your husband of 50 years that you don't love them anymore and you can't explain why? My point exactly." Hisoka's voice returned to a whisper once more "So sorry. I'm so sorry.."
Tsuzuki faced the ceiling. The conversation was long over and his nose had started to run. Hisoka faced the ceiling, his hand resting in the empty space, and what was that? Oh. Fingers running under his to hold his hand, only for the reciever's hand to be jerked away.
"Goodnight, Tsuzuki, I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight."
And with that, the boy vacated the room until morning.
To be continued...