A/N: Well, this is a littlebit different from my other fic. Like, by a lot. I mean, it's REALLY different. I feel bad, because I kinda bullied Sora, and I love him so much! I am aware that there are others kind of like this, but I don't know if they end the same way.
P.S: Akuzexu-Akuno-Zemyx-yum, you stay far, far away from this, I'm warning you! It's not for you!
Pairings: Eventual Soroku
Warnings: Yaoi, some Sora-bullying, language... Well, yeah.
Disclaimer: Heck no, techno, I don't own anything!
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Sora could feel it, all the time. The sheer hatred that was lodged deep inside his heart -- and didn't completely belong to him. No, it belonged to someone else. But he felt it ALL. THE. TIME. And the loathing feeling was hurting him. Because it affected him, too. Made him hate his parents, his friends. Kairi. Riku. But above all, it made him hate himself.
Stop, he would beg internally, at times when it became too much. Please, stop.But that just flared a new spike of hatred, and it took all Sora had to keep down his lunch.
Currently, he is in the bathroom, gripping the edge of the sink. But he's too afraid to look up, into the mirror -- too afraid of what he will see.
And then he does. He raises his head and looks at himself, and feels pure disgust for the image of the brunette looking back at him. He's been sleeping poorly the last few weeks since he's gotten back, and it's showing. The dark circles under his eyes are highlighted by his sickly pale skin, and his ocean blue eyes look so sad. Slowly, the image in the mirror morphs, and a new boy, his twin-yet-not stares back at him. His honey-blonde hair sticks up similarly to Sora's, framing a thin, pale face. But unlike Sora, who's eyes are empty, in helplessness and surrender, this boy's eyes blaze with sheer hatred, his mouth an angry slash across his face.
Sora blinks, and the image fades, all except the eyes, identical to his, glaring at him. "Please," he whispers, voice strained. "Please --"
But his insides twist and he can feelthe hate in the air, and Sora sinks to the floor, doubling over the toilet and vomiting.
"Please," he sobs when he comes up.
Vomit.
"Please."
And then he speaks the name. For the first time out loud, but not in his dreams -- he always looks for him in his dreams, but he is never there. He cries for him during nightmares, which plague him every night, but he is ignored.
"Roxas."
The response is awful. His heart clenches, filling his chest with pain, and making him choke on a sob. His insides burn with the hatred that doesn't belong to him.
"Please!" he cries, hugging the toilet bowel, not caring much for the sanitary properties of the thing. "Please, Roxas! Please stop!"
Vomit.
"Roxas!"
Vomit.
"ROXAS!"
And then it all stops, as Sora's voice cracks. The urge to puke subsides a little. He sobs loudly. "I c-can't take it anymore, Roxas! I... Please!" The fire does not dissipate, but it does not flare up again immediately, either. So Sora takes the time he is given to cry, as loud as he can, curling into a fetal position on the bathroom floor, wishing he could disappear.
"I'll do anything," he whispers desperately. "Please, Roxas, I'll do anything, just please stop. I'll do anything. I can't take this... this hate. The darkness is going to... to kill us, Roxas. I'll do anything." Those words become his desperate mantra: "I'll do anything."
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Yeah, I feel kinda bad... It wasn't very nice. Er, I hope you enjoyed it...? If that's even possible, considering... Yeah, more to come, I suppose. See ya soon!