A/N: This was a one-shot I put together on my iPod at night. It took me many days, and thank you secondlastypo for encouraging me to post it up. Love ya Jane/Alice/Carlita 3
All I Wanted
The tears stung, as they quickly fell out of my eyes. Today, I just found out he was leaving for war. Jasper signed up for the Confederate army. I spent weeks trying to convince him not to leave. Tomorrow, he would be gone and there was nothing I could do about it. More burning, more wetness. The acidity of the tears left trails down my face, and I'm sure my eyes were bloodshot.
There was a knock on the door. I knew who it was, as there was a tugging at my heart. It was trying to pull me towards the door. I knew where it was taking me. It only stops when I'm with Jasper. I quickly wiped the water away and slowly walked toward the door. With every step, I could feel my heart breaking more and more. It seemed like I couldn't keep the tears away. As soon as I opened the door, I fell.
My world was crashing all around me. I knew when my life was going so well, something would always knock me down.
"Bella!" Jasper's rough voice screamed. It was strained, and I knew he was worried. I felt his warm body slide next to me, feeling his arms wrap around me, holding me. I buried my face into his shirt, and he started stroking my hair.
"Jazz," I sobbed out. "Promise me something."
"Anything, sugar." his Texan accent was more prominent than ever.
"Think of me when you're out there." I was practically begging from my knees. Everything felt like a horrible dream. It's a shame it's reality.
"Of course, sweetheart. I also promise that I'll come back for you one day and marry you. Wait for me?" he was pleading with his amazing, sky blue eyes. How could he think I would move on from him?
"All I wanted was you, darling." it was true. Jasper was everything I need and want. He's my soul mate, my other half. I would not exist without him.
"I love you, Bella." he whispered, as he leaned down and captured my lips with his own in a kiss. When his lips moved on from my lips, I breathed out an "I love you, Jasper."
That night, we showed each other how much we loved and would miss each other.
The next day
I woke up to an empty bed. Jasper already left. That thought alone brought tears to my eyes. My arm blindly searched around the bed, hoping that somehow, he decided to stay with me and it was all fantasy. I was disappointed when my hand did not meet with a warm body. My fingertips grazed something smooth though. I quickly grabbed it and saw that it was a piece of paper, a note from Jasper. I read the words, the water dripping slowly from my eyes.
Bella, Forever yours,
It was hard for me to leave the bed this morning. I would miss you so much while I'm gone. While I can't be there to ward off the men left in the town, hopefully my grandmother's wedding ring will. I wish I could've been there to place the ring on your delicate finger. I swear to you Bella, I will come for you.
Jasper Whitlock
I then noticed the ring, sitting where the paper once was. It was absolutely beautiful. Inside the ring, the name "Whitlock" was beautifully engraved. What would I do without him?
10 months later
I was a mess. I was all alone. Jasper hardly wrote, but when he did, I wanted to die. I could only imagine what he had seen and what had happened. Lately, there was a burning in my chest. I couldn't feel anything besides that pain. The weird thing was that it started three days ago. It had ended a few minutes ago. I was worried for my Jasper. Everyday, I sat at the window, wishing he would walk up the road and run to kiss me. I was near my due date for my baby, Jasper's baby. It was the only thing, besides the letters and the ring, that was keeping me alive. My baby would be my little miracle, a piece of me and Jasper. Our love. Everyday, my best friend, Rosalie, would check up on me to see how I was doing. She was afraid to leave me by myself for too long because she thought would do something stupid and try to harm myself.
There was a sharp pain in my back and my abdomen. I gasped for air, hoping to calm myself down. It was hen when Rosalie walked in the door. Her eyes widened in shock.
"Bella! You're bleeding!" she yelled and ran over to me, trying to lead me to the couch and lay down. "I'll go fetch the nurse." The nurse lived nearby, so Rosalie and the nurse came back fairly quickly. I concentrated on Jasper's in my mind, trying to ignore the waves of pain that racked throughout my body.
"Push, dear" the grandmotherly nurse said. I pushed the baby as hard as I can, eager to see my baby in the real world. As I kept pushing, I heard the loud cry of a baby.
"It's a girl." Rosalie tearfully whispered. She was as happy as I was, as she loved children. "What are you going to name her, Bella?" I thought hard about her question, the perfect name hitting me.
"Elizabeth Rose Whitlock." Rosalie sobbed and hugged me, staining my gown with tears. The nurse handed me Elizabeth, and I got a good look at her. She had stopped crying, and looked at everythig with wide, brand new eyes. She had Jasper's gorgeous, sky blue eyes and pointy nose. She had my dark brown hair and lips. Elizabeth was perfect.
Two Months Later
It's been a year since Jasper has been away. Elizabeth was two months old now. I had random mood swings, but I felt as they weren't mine. I would go from my emotions to foreign ones. It was awfully strange. I haven't been getting letters from Jasper either. I wanted to write to him, and tell him about Elizabeth, but I couldn't. The tugging at my heart was stronger now, than it had ever been. It started the day Elizabeth was born. I wondered if Jasper was alright.
As I looked out the window, I saw a soldier coming up the road. I noticed he had a face filled with sorrow. That meant...no it couldn't be! Jasper couldn't be dead! It was impossible. I watched as the soldier came closer and closer, until he reached my door and knocked. I flitted to open the door, the man only confirming what I had guessed.
"I am sorry to inform you ma'am, Jasper has been M.I.A for two months. There was no body found. We shall have a closed casket funeral tomorrow." he looked as if he would burst into tears. I couldn't hold my weeps in and broke down. The soldier caught me before I collapsed, but started crying himself. What am I going to do without Jasper? Our baby would grow up without a father.
"Thank you, soldier. Have you gotten attached to Jasper?"
"Yes ma'am. We were quite close back on the camp. I must be off. Hope to see you tomorrow, ." I didn't bother to correct him, that I wasn't married to Jasper. Without Jasper, I couldn't bear to live, but I would keep his last name, to help me stay alive.
The next day
I didn't eat that night, or this morning. I was a shell of myself. Without Jasper, my life lost meaning. I got myself dressed in black, and I noticed it was a cloudy day, about to rain. Fit my mood perfectly. I asked Rosalie to keep Elizabeth today, she didn't need to see me cry. Soon, I was at the cemetery and as they started to lower the casket, it started to rain. My tears and the rainwater mixed. As the people left, it was just me and Jasper's tombstone.
"Why Jasper? Why'd you leave me? I was waiting for you! You're never going to meet our baby! How can I live without you?" I whispered the last sentence. I heard rustling from the woods, and a voice I thought I wouldn't hear again.
"Bella?" I must be dreaming. I pinched myself, trying to wake up. I was awake, and Jasper was walking towards me.
"Jasper? Is that you?" I stood up and ran to him, and he scooped me in his arms. He was hard as granite. I closed my eyes and brought his face down, his lips connecting to mine.
When I pulled away, I looked into his eyes. There was a major difference though.
His eyes weren't blue anymore.
They were red.
Blood red.