Maggie was alone, so very alone. It had been two weeks since everything went down, and to say she was in a state of shock was an understatement to say the least. Having lost everything that mattered to her- her sister was missing, her group of adopted family's whereabouts unknown, the love of her life Glenn was missing- and the worst of it all was that her beloved father was dead.
It was all too much for her to take in. She tried to block out the gruesome images of her father's death at the hands of that madman Governor, but at night when she felt most alone the thoughts came to her. Every night she would wake up in a cold sweat, trying desperately to convince herself that this was not real, that it had all been a horrible, horrible mistake.
But her surroundings constantly reminded her that this was no dream. Walkers everywhere, sometimes Maggie would walk around hunting for necessities and she would see them. Walkers, everywhere. Who would have thought that a "human" would have been the biggest enemy that she would ever knew?
Sometimes when she tried hard enough, Maggie tried to remember the past. The farm. How her father had loved that farm. He'd dedicated his life not only to maintaining the family home that he'd loved so much in his own childhood, but also to raise his family the best that he could. God knew he hadn't been perfect, but now more than every Maggie knew there was no other man on earth she would have chosen for a father than Hershel.
In such a state of shock, horror, grief and disbelief Maggie actually found herself unable to think of Glenn. Sometimes thoughts of him would hit her, but then she would remember her father and his fate, and the thought of losing the two men she had ever loved was just too hard, too much to take in. So she went around, walking, savaging, trying anything just to stay alive.
Not that she felt she had that much to live for at that point. True, the governor, the man who almost raped her and wanted to kill her, was dead, but look at the price that came with that freedom. Nothing made sense anymore; the attacks on people by walkers were bad enough, but the thought of another human being perhaps even more evil that they were was just too much to take in.
Sitting down, tired, haggard, defeated, Maggie thought of her father. That kind of inhumanity was beyond anything he would have ever been able to process. There was no doubt somewhere in Hershel's mind, up to the last minute, that things could be resolved, that Rick could make peace with the governor, that somehow they would all pull through. It broke her heart knowing that wasn't to be.
She knew her father hadn't initially wanted much to do with the group. But soon enough he realized what they all had, what she had- they needed each other in order to survive. Even though her father didn't immediately take a liking to Glenn, she knew that he'd won her father over with his willingness to do anything to keep them all safe. Even more importantly, in her father's eyes, Glenn had proved that he would do anything to keep Maggie safe, and in the end, he knew he couldn't have asked for anything more for his daughter.
There was Beth...so young...Maggie tearfully wiped her eyes away. Somehow she'd be okay. She just had to. There was no way...
Her father gone, her sister missing, everyone from the group-vanished. Yet somehow, even in Maggie's darkest hour, her thoughts eventually went to Glenn.
0000
There were points during the past few weeks that she felt like giving up, like letting the walkers win. She'd even taken out her gun a time or two when there wasn't nary a walker in sight.
But something always made her put her weapon down.
It was Glenn. He must be out there, somewhere, looking for her. If she knew him the way she thought she did, she knew that he would spend the rest of his life looking for her.
But he'd been sick, weakened, in no condition to fight. How could he possibly survive out there all alone, God knew where?
It was too much to even think about.
0000
Her daddy was gone. As long as she'd lived, she'd never be able to shake the image of his final moments out of her mind. He was a good, sweet man, and for him to die the way he did- it just didn't make much sense.
None of this did. The walker, the plague, the violence. Through it all somehow, Glenn had reached her and gave her a reason to live. She loved him, and he kept her going throughout her darkest days.
He couldn't be- he just couldn't.
Maggie wanted to go find him, search for him, to be able to hold him just one more time and tell him how much he'd meant to her.
But right now, all her strength was gone.
There were walkers, all right. Hoards of them. Food had been scarce- she hadn't been able to eat in two, maybe three days. The days and nights were all blending into one deep, dark nightmare, so time was pretty irrelevant.
Maybe it would be better if she just stopped trying, stopped fighting. There really wasn't much left for her in this world anymore.
It was getting dark out, not quite nighttime but still pretty seemingly late in the day.
Maybe, just maybe, if she was strong enough and wasn't too hungry, she could find the farm. She knew there wasn't left of it, but if she was going to die, she might as well go home.
Yes, tomorrow one way or the other she would be home again.
tbc
