A/N: OK, so this chapter wasn't random, but most of the rest will be (to a certain extent - I try to arrange them into groups of somewhat related vignettes, so I can title the chapter properly, and I still claim the right to choose which one I want to do first out of a small list of random words, and throw out ones that I absolutely cannot think of a vignette for).
I'm sorry for the rather dark beginning, but these vignettes were written before I thought of doing a series and I didn't want to put them separate from this, so I just decided to put them at the beginning. Anyway, this first chapter is a mini-series of connected vignettes.
Chapter rating: K+/T
THIS IS A TRIGGER WARNING AND DOES CONTAIN SPOILERS! Okay, so since this is a series of vignettes and I really have no idea what's going to happen in them or when this is going to end, I can only put up a warning for the triggers chapter by chapter. Triggers: non-suicidal death, emotional upset, references to scenes of warfare, and (potentially) slightly disturbing scenes/descriptions.
Heal1
The young bird had died happy because of Lucy. But that didn't make its passing any easier on her. "The thing is," Edmund told her awkwardly at one point, "you can heal a heart or ease a mind, but you risk cutting yourself on the pieces." He pulled the sobbing Lucy closer.
"Remember, though," he told her, voice becoming more assured, "that it was you helped him 'till the end." He felt her tense body relax, and as her crying became calmer, he hesitated, then softly kissed her cheek. Then he quietly spoke, saying, "The bird is with Aslan now, we know we can trust Him."
Just as Lucy so eagerly worked to heal everyone and everything, so now would he work to heal her.
Grim
Peter, who had just come back from a campaign, had some thoughts on the death of the bird that were unusually grim. After Edmund explained his knowledge of what had happened, Peter asked a few questions, then said, "Poor Lu… though I suppose it makes it a bit easier.
Now she knows that not all death is like on the battlefield."
Touché2
"You what?"
"I say we let her start training as soon as she asks. She's 12, Peter. That's older than I was during my first battles."
Peter seemed to tense even more at the mention of this. "And I suppose you think we should let her into battle in a couple of years!"
"Yes, I do."
Peter stared at his brother with a shocked sort of disbelief.
"Just with the archers at first, and within boundaries of course, Peter, and only if we think she's well enough trained."
"But Edmund…" Peter stuttered weakly.
Edmund's expression softened. "I don't like it any more than you do, but this is Lucy we're talking about." He gave a brief, fond smile. "She'll end up doing something whether we like it or not, and I'd rather she was prepared as possible."
"Touche." Peter's lips twitched up, but his face grew serious again as he contemplated his brother's words.
"Peter?" Edmund drew closer to his brother.
"Ed…?"
"I'm sorry." It wasn't clear what he was apologizing about, but it didn't matter.
"It's just…"
Edmund quietly laid a hand on on Peter's arm, looking out over the Cair.
"I know."
Destroy3
Lucy had been walking with Peter in the gardens, and it seemed that she had managed to effectively forgotten the past events of the month. Then a shadow crossed her face as they were talking about how she had helped a squirrel find another home when the tree that she had lived in had been burned down. As Peter talked about how wonderful she was, always so selflessly helping her subjects, her face darkened until she looked up and spoke.
"I do it for them, but then I do it for myself… trying to heal more is destroyed. Than I destroy." Lucy had never been one for holding back her feelings around her family, and as he looked into her strangely hollow eyes, he remembered what he had been trying to so desperately to push aside: Lucy had only recently gotten back from her first battle. And it had been horrible. It had been bloody, and the raiders had burned part of the forest. Peter knew he would never forget the screams of the dryads and those who had been trapped in it. Lucy hadn't been as much In the thick of it as he had, but he was sure she had seen and heard things she didn't want to remember. She had certainly done things she didn't want to remember.
Suddenly he understood, much better than he wished he did. And… there was a part of him that thirsted to heal, too. He decided Lucy would be his project of a sort. Perhaps he would enlist Edmund, for Lucy seemed to be feeling much too haunted for his darling sister. But there was a cure for that.
1 You know me, I just can't help beginning this with something dark(-ish) The next chapter will be better(-ish).
P.S. - Heal is written at the very beginning of their time in Narnia, so Edmund's still slightly uncomfortable comforting Lucy.
P.P.S. - I know this sounds really weird, but Edmund's line about picking up pieces and such was actually inspired by Avril Lavigne's music video for Smile.
2 This addresses my thoughts on both how Edmund and Peter might argue about letting Lucy train and how Lucy might sometime(s) sneak out to join Peter and/or Edmund. I feel strangely gratified for some reason, though that might just be the music I'm listening to.
3 I've actually managed to surprise myself. This is really quite dark. I didn't mean for it to be quite so depressing. Just to clear things up, I did NOT mean to imply that Lucy now only does really nice things to alleviate her guilt somewhat, but I'm saying (in this vignette, anyway) that her actions in battle have become she feels she has to atone for (a little bit, at least).