Title: First Kiss(es)
Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles, Jane/Maura
Rating: T / PG-13 / R-ish
Summary: Sometimes, a relationship has more than one 'first kiss'
Notes: This takes place in the context of several canon events and told sequentially. However, you need to ignore any canon relating to Casey when reading this story (I recommend ignoring it always, lol, but you have to for this story)
Notes 2: Written for a fanfic challenge "milestones" and cross posted in a number of locations
First Kiss(es)
Part 1: Maura
Maura refused to leave Jane's side. She was the first to get to the detective after the shot was fired. Her hands were covered with the detective's blood by the time the EMTs made it to her and took over the effort of stymieing the flow.
Despite efforts to stop her, she climbed into the ambulance Jane had been loaded into.
"Self inflicted gunshot wound to the abdomen," she heard the EMT radio ahead to the hospital they were on route to as Maura looked on as monitors were hooked up and IVs were inserted into the brunette. "BP 90 over 60, respiration shallow, pulse weak and thready, have two units of O-neg standing by."
"A-positive," Maura remembered correcting the EMT, supplying him with Jane's actual blood type. "She's A-positive."
Maura was sure she'd said more, sure she'd done more, and sure more had been said and done during that ride. But she couldn't really remember anything else. It was all just a horrible blur of beeps and sirens and traffic, too much traffic.
Then the ambulance had arrived at the ER, the doors flew open and Jane was unloaded and rushed away. There was nothing more she could do. She'd finally been separated from Jane as the detective was taken immediately into surgery.
A long wait ensued during which she stood aloof, refusing to be comforted by Jane's actual family or by her extended family in blue, who were out in force with two of their own having been admitted.
First word came that Frankie would be fine, thanks to Dr. Isles' efforts. That was good news, of course, but not the news Maura really was waiting for.
Then came word about Jane. And though it was good news, though the doctor stated surgery had gone well, damage to major organs had been contained, the bleeding and stopped and the detective was stable and would recover, Maura still wasn't satisfied. She wasn't satisfied until she was here.
Right here.
Back by Jane's side again.
Because here she could see the detective's chest rise and fall, could see the color back in the detective's face, could see the strong and steady green blips running across the screen of the detective's heart monitor.
Normally, of course, they wouldn't let her stay by Jane's side through the night, not unless she was family, and even then, not in the ICU. But the rules were often bent when it was one of the city's first responders that was injured in the line of duty, and those rules were pretty much ignored when it was someone with the Mayor's phone number on speed dial who was the one requesting to stay.
So by Jane's side she remained.
"I brought you a blanket," the night nurse handed the bundle to Maura as she came in around 1:00 am to check on the detective's vitals and bandage. "You should try to get some sleep," she said not condescendingly, but rather understandingly, "She's in good hands".
Maura smiled. She actually smiled. It was probably the first time since it had all begun. "Thank you," she said sincerely, "I'll try."
When the night nurse shuffled out, Maura also did her own checking. She wasn't lying when she said she'd try to get some sleep, but she needed to see for herself one last time that everything was okay before she would. She looked over the assorted numbers and readings from the various machines hooked up one way or another to Jane's body. Satisfied, she moved aside the blankets covering Jane's abdomen and lightly placed her hand on the left side of Jane's stomach, feeling and taking comfort in the light pulse of the detective's abdominal aorta. She then looked for any signs of bleeding around the bandage and, finding none, covered Jane back up before moving closer to the detective's head.
She knew Jane's temperature was being constantly monitored to a 10th of a degree. She knew that that monitoring was far, far more accurate than she herself could have been. So she knew there was no real logical reason for her to reach up and put the backs of her fingers against Jane's forehead, and then cheek, ostensibly checking for a fever. And there was even less reason for her to turn her hand over such that she was cupping Jane's cheek in her hand.
But she did.
And as she did she just stared at Jane's face. It looked peaceful. It looked beautiful. Maura felt the tears come to her eyes.
They came so close to losing her today. She came so close to losing her. So close.
There was a light abrasion on Jane's cheek bone from when she hit the pavement. Maura wanted to kiss it. But she didn't want to introduce any unnecessary bacteria.
So she leaned down and kissed Jane's strong jaw instead.
And after looking at the detective for several more long seconds, Maura unfolded the blanket the night nurse had brought her, wrapped it around her back, and sat down in the chair. She then gathered Jane's wrist in her hand such that Jane's pulse could be felt against the doctor's fingertips.
And like that, with that reassuring flutter under her touch, Maura put her head down on Jane's bed, and tried to get some sleep.
Part 2: Jane
Jane's only solace as she tore through the streets of Boston with lights and sirens blaring towards Maura's house, was that she knew – or at least she strongly believed – that Paddy Doyle had no interest in hurting his daughter. Still, the rush of relief she felt when she burst into Maura's living room and found her tied up but alive and well almost brought her to her knees.
There was no question who she'd go to first, who she'd untie first. And no question, between her brother and Maura, who she'd stay next to and comfort.
Because, for Jane, seeing Maura was good, hearing her say she was okay was better, but having both hands on the doctor's back, rubbing it, feeling the warmth of the doctor's body, feeling that small and fragile but breathing and kicking and alive frame under her touch was what Jane really needed to assuage her own racing heart.
And when she had that, when she knew she had Maura secure, All she wanted was to kick Tommy out, call off all the units she knew were responding to Maura's address right then and just lock herself and Maura inside, I *keep* Maura secure and safely tucked away.
Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. It couldn't be.
The crime scene tech guys had to show up and dust for prints and collect evidence. The photographer needed to document the scene and any injuries suffered. And statements had to be taken; Frost took Jane and Maura off to the side for Maura's while another detective took Tommy's.
All of it was necessary. All of it was required. It was their job. It was solid, steady, professional police work.
It was what they did.
And Jane couldn't wait until it was over.
Fortunately, with everyone's concerted effort and Korsak's watchful eye and guidance, they made fairly quick work of it. Soon, the photographer left, one or two crime scene techs were cleaning up after themselves (not something they normally did and Jane made a mental note to thank their boss), two uniformed officers were replacing the door (another mental note), and Frankie came to get Tommy and take him back to his apartment for the night.
With most everyone now clearing out, Korsak made sure the two women were going to be okay, assuring Jane that Paddy wouldn't return, but still making sure she had an extra piece and extra ammo. Just in case.
Jane then finally saw the final tech and Korsak to the door. Thanking them both and promising them she and Maura would be fine (especially since she knew Korsak would post a unit out on the street to ensure that).
And then, with a final swing shut of the front door, Jane and Maura were alone at last.
Jane flipped the deadbolt and slid home the chain on the door.
She had expected to turn and find Maura cleaning the kitchen or living room or dining room or something, but the doctor wasn't there. "Maura?" Jane called out as she moved down the hallway.
"In here," the came the response from the master bedroom. "I… I…" Jane saw that Maura was already in her pajamas and was also obviously still a little upset, or maybe more than just a little upset, "I just didn't want to be in the living room any more right now," Maura finished.
"Okay," Jane replied understandingly, and completely without judgement.
Maura was worrying her fingernails a little as she added to her previous statement, "Actually, I really don't want to spend any more time in the living room at all tonight."
"That's okay, too," Jane replied again, just as understandingly, and adding, "You don't have to. You can just stay in here."
Maura stopped her mild pacing and looked at Jane with a lost expression, "And can you… I mean would you... Oh never mind," Maura shook her head and looked away.
"What?" Jane took a step forward, "Would I what?"
"It silly," Maura still wouldn't meet Jane's eyes.
Jane took another step forward, standing now directly in front of the shorter woman, "Tell me she prodded gently."
"Would you stay in here with me?" Maura finally looked at Jane, "And," Maura shrugged one shoulder, "maybe guard the door while I sleep?"
Jane's heart melted. First of all, she didn't think she'd ever seen the normally so confident Maura look or sound so scared or vulnerable before. And second, knowingly or unknowingly, Maura had just asked Jane to do the one thing Jane wanted to do most: protect her.
The detective took one more step forward and enveloped Maura in a hug. "Of course," she whispered her reply. At that Jane could feel the doctor begin to shake in her arms, whether from chill or fear or anger or relief or pure raw emotion or all of the above, Jane wasn't sure. "Hey, hey, hey," she rubbed Maura's back, "You're fine. You're safe. It's going to be okay," Jane continued to whisper, not knowing if she was trying to reassure herself or reassure Maura.
The detective felt Maura nod against her shoulder and she squeezed the doctor a little tighter as she also turned her head and placed her lips against Maura's temple, giving the doctor a chaste but lingering kiss there.
After several more seconds, she pulled back and pulled out of the hug enough to look at Maura tenderly, "How about you get yourself tucked into bed and I'll make one more check around the house that everything is locked up, then I'll be right back." Jane smiled gently as she finished, "And then I'll sit here and guard this door all night, okay?"
Maura again felt a little silly. Because she knew there wasn't any real danger. She knew Paddy wasn't coming back. She knew Jane didn't really need to stay up all night guarding the door. But she also knew she felt better knowing that Jane would be.
Maura, eyes shimmering, smiled and nodded.
Jane smiled and nodded back, before quickly exiting the bedroom to make her promised rounds and her promised return. It was going to be a long, tiring night, and she knew she'd pay for her lack of sleep tomorrow, but she wouldn't have it any other way.
Part 3: Jane and Maura
After the small reception held in honor of the triumphant return of their Medical Examiner from the (almost successfully) evil plot to frame her, Jane insisted on escorting Maura back down to her office. There were a couple reasons.
The first was immediately apparent. Maura's office was in disarray, at least compared to its normal state, and Jane knew that would upset the M.E. "We had to search it," Jane said as an explanation before Maura could make any comment. "But I was here," she was also quick to assured her friend, "I made sure everything was treated well. I just didn't know where to put everything back." Jane made an expression to indicate that she was sorry about that.
Maura took a deep breath and looked around. Intellectually she had known the search had been carried out and she also knew it had not been personal and had just part of the process. But emotionally it still hurt, and it still felt like another violation. "It's okay," she finally managed to say.
"I'll help you clean up," Jane offered.
Maura smiled her gratitude, "Thanks." The doctor then went to open some of the window blinds which were all currently closed to keep out prying eyes during the open investigation.
"Wait," Jane stopped her. For there was a second reason she had wanted to accompany Maura down here. And for that she wanted continuing protection from prying eyes.
Maura stopped and looked at Jane questioningly. And looked at her even more questioningly when Jane turned and slowly closed then locked the office door they'd just come through, effectively isolating them from everything else not just visually but physically, as well.
"Jane?" Maura asked.
The detective looked unsure, fidgeting a little and rubbing her hands as she tended to do when she was nervous. There was so much she wanted to say. So much she wanted to express. But how to start?
Finally she looked up at Maura and upon seeing those open, expressive eyes, just blurted out the first thought that came to mind, though she didn't get it all out "Last night, when I picked you up from prison…" That's where Jane stopped, as she chuckled at those words, looking away and shaking her head, saying a little distractedly almost to herself, "Man, I never thought I'd ever say that phrase to you…"
Maura frowned, still not quite sure where this was going.
Jane shook her head again as if to clear it, and got back on point and back to her original point, the most important point, "When I took you home," her voice was a little firmer and she brought her eyes back to Maura's, trying to convey that while she was nervous, while she was a little unbalanced, while she unsure of a lot of things right now, she was not at all unsure of this, "I wanted to stay with you."
The sentence hung between them.
Because with Jane's tone of voice, with the look on her face, understanding of why Jane was down here right now – or maybe it was just hope – was beginning to dawn on Maura.
So she met honesty with honesty. Certainty with certainty. "I wanted you to stay, too," Maura heard herself respond, barely above a whisper.
Jane felt her heart skip a beat at Maura's words and again she struggled with what to say next. She had rehearsed this moment in her head over and over and over and over, yet right now she was having trouble remembering English much less remembering anything specific she had wanted to say. So again, she just said the first thought that presented itself, the first thought that came to mind to express what she was thinking, what she was feeling, "I would have broken the law for you. I would have gone to jail for you. I would do anything for you."
It was not lost on Maura that the final statement was not theoretical. It was an affirmative, definitive statement.
I would do anything for you.
Maura opened her mouth to respond but Jane held up her hand to stop her and kept speaking, words now coming more freely. "You're the most important thing in my life. I've known that for a long time but this whole episode, it just made it that much clearer. I wanted to tell you last night but I didn't want you to think it was just in the heat of the moment. I didn't want to be able to tell *myself* it was in the heat of the moment." Jane took a breath and then stated simply, but so meaningfully, "I need you in my life, Maura. And because I need you in my life, I want you to be a part of my life."
Maura swallowed hard, oh god, oh god, oh god, the understanding, the hope, that had begun to dawn was being reinforced with every single word that came out of Jane's mouth. Maura's heart was thudding, her mouth had run dry, she couldn't believe this was happening, she couldn't believe this was finally, finally happening. "Jane…" was all she managed to choke out.
Jane's face softened. She knew she wasn't saying exactly what she had wanted to say in exactly the way she had wanted to say it. But she also knew she was saying enough. That, like always, Maura was on the same page, the same wavelength.
Like always, Maura understood her.
And that allowed more words to flow. "I want you to be more than my colleague. More than someone I work with. More than my mother's landlord. More, even, than my best friend." Jane took a step forward, closing the distance between them, "What I'm saying is that I want to have coffee with you every morning, Maura, not just some mornings. And I want to end every day sitting on your couch, not just end really bad days or really good days that way. I want you to have to physically drag me out of bed to go running on a Saturday and I want to keep you up making you watch the end of Red Sox games and I want you to scold me when I eat food that I've dropped on the floor and I want to tease you when you complain you have nothing to wear and I want my friends and my family to *know* that you're the most important thing in my life and…."
"Jane." Maura finally interrupted what was becoming a so very sweet but also a bit of a rambling monologue from the detective.
"What?" Jane said somewhat daftly.
"Kiss me," Maura's request was simple and straight forward, because, honestly, they'd waited long enough, and she didn't want to wait any longer.
Unfortunately, Jane was still suck in her stream of consciousness emptying of all thoughts about Maura and herself and the two of them together, "Yes, I want that, too. I want to kiss you, Maura, God, I want to kiss you, I've wanted to for so long. Kiss you and…"
Rather than interrupting Jane with words this time, Maura took matters into her own hands, she closed all remaining distance between them and reached up to cradle Jane's face in both of her hands, and, giving Jane just enough time to realize what she was doing, what she was about to do, she brought their lips together.
Brought the two of *them* together.
Finally.
Finally.
And once again, because it bears repeating, FINALLY.
And though it might be cliché, it was everything and more than expected.
It felt like it was not just the completion of a long journey, but rather completion itself.
Their eyes slid shut.
A soft sigh escaped one or both of them.
Jane adjusted her feet, bringing the front of their bodies fully together, flush, and also landing her hands on Maura's hips as she parted her lips for Maura's.
God it was so soft.
Their tongues only very tentatively flicked out in exploration as their lips continued to slide against the other.
God it was so tender.
Jane's hands tightened on Maura's hips, one of Maura's hands slid sensuously down Jane's throat.
God it was so electric.
Maura's nipples tightened and ached with desire as her breathing elevated, Jane's heart beat in her ears in time with the pulses she was feeling below, both of them continued to slowly enjoy and explore the other's mouth.
God it was so perfect.
Neither knew how long it lasted. It could have been 10 seconds. It could have been 10 minutes. Time itself seemed to stop existing.
When they did finally pull apart it was only far enough to bring and put their foreheads together rather than their lips.
"Wow," Jane breathed out, truly a little out of breath from the experience.
Maura giggled, feeling, in a word, utterly giddy.
Jane smiled at the sound. "Please…" the detective took a few more breaths, "Please tell me that was just the first kiss of many we're going to share," she said with all sincerity.
Maura, equally moved, face flushed, beamed back at Jane and dutifully parroted back exactly what Jane had asked her to, not just because Jane asked her to but because she really meant it, "That was just the first kiss of many we're going to share."
Jane laughed, not even a little annoyed at Maura's literalness and then said a little more quietly, "And since you're being so cooperative, can you also please tell me we can start on those 'many more' right now?"
Maura became a little more serious then and replied, "No."
That put a damper on Jane's mood…. "No?"
Maura shook her head, "First I need to tell you," Maura swallowed and looked into Jane's eyes. She knew Jane already knew what she was about to say, but she needed to say it anyway, "I need ot tell you that you're the most important thing in my life, too, Jane. And I want you as part of my life. I *need* you as part of my life."
At that it wasn't just Maura who was having trouble controlling the connection between her amygdala and lacrimal gland.
Jane reached up and ran a single finger down the side of Maura's face, her acknowledgement of what the doctor had just said, since she didn't trust her voice at the moment.
Then, after a few seconds to let it all sink in, Maura broke the silence by saying, "Now we can start on those 'many more'."
The tension broken, Jane laughed, "Oh good," she smiled and leaned in for their second mutual kiss.