Taking Chances

Maybe she was making something out of nothing, but she needed to know. She had decided that if the opportunity presented itself tonight, she would ask Eddie about it.

Janet closed her front door behind her and turned on the light. Eddie would arrive in about an hour as he had made a habit of coming by on her nights off and she wanted to take a long, hot shower before he got there.

About an hour later as Janet was finishing drying her hair she heard Eddie call out her name as he walked in. She was always surprised at how her heart leapt at seeing him come through her door and it amazed her that she had come to care about him so intensely, and so quickly. She and Eddie had been seeing each other for about two months now and she always felt a rush of excitement every time she saw him. It was as if his smile was just for her. He made her feel so special, so cherished.

He leaned down to kiss her hello.

"Mmm, you smell good", he said as they finally broke their kiss

"Soap. Smells better than stale beer and peanuts." She said with a twinkle in her eye.

Eddie laughed and kissed her again.

She loved making him laugh.

"How was your day?" he asked as he took her hand and led her to the sofa. Eddie sat down and pulled her in to settle against him.

"It was alright. I've still got my hands full with Rooster, but we're making progress. He actually initiated conversation with me today on three separate occasions." She said with a half-smile. Since she and Eddie had become "official" Rooster was having a difficult time with the adjustment. He was convinced Eddie was going to break her heart and had told her in no uncertain terms that he would not be there to pick up the pieces when it happened. "I just wish he could accept that we're together and we could go back to the way things were. I miss the friendship we had."

"I could talk to him if you think it would help. Try to make him understand about you and me." Eddie said.

Eddie understood how this loss of friendship was devastating to her and he wanted to make it right, to help her through this. This was only one of the reasons she cared for him so deeply. Janet liked knowing that she was one of the few people who knew how special Eddie really was. When most people in Knight's Ridge looked at Eddie Latekka they saw the football hero of ten years ago, or the "lady's man", or some other false, superficial face. But she knew the other Eddie, the one he didn't show to anyone else but her. She knew the Eddie that cared about people, especially his friends. He was smart, kind, loyal and extremely generous with those he cared most about.

She leaned over to kiss him, "You're sweet, but unfortunately I don't think this is something you can fix. I think Rooster and I have to work this out on our own" she said as she smiled up at him.

"Alright." he said in a way that let her know he wasn't happy about doing nothing, but that he would let it go for now. "So, what do you want to do tonight?"

"Um, I think I feel like staying in. How about we watch a movie?" she suggested.

"A movie huh? Don't you remember what happened the last time we tried to watch a movie together on your couch? If I remember correctly we barely made it through the opening credits before 'other' things became far more interesting." he said with a knowing grin.

He didn't have to remind her. That particular evening is the one that started her thinking that this relationship was perhaps moving a little too slowly for her liking. They had spent most of that evening making out like a couple of hormonal teenagers until Eddie had pumped the brakes. She had been willing to see it through to its natural conclusion and had been surprised when Eddie announced that it was late and he needed to get going.

"Oh I remember, it's pretty hard to forget actually" she said with a shy smile and a blush.

It was now or never, "I actually wanted to talk to you about that night." She tried to keep her voice light, but the nervousness she was feeling crept in.

"What's going on Janet?" Eddie's look of concern made her feel sorry that she'd even brought it up.

"No, it's nothing really. I just, I wanted to ask you why you left in such a hurry that night. I thought we were having a good time and that the situation seemed to be progressing in a certain direction and then suddenly, it was over. I guess I was just a little confused." She knew she needed to keep going, to get everything out in the open but it was much harder than she thought it would be, "I mean, I guess I was just wondering if it was me. If it was something I did or didn't do that made you leave so suddenly."

Eddie turned toward her so they were face-to-face and took both of her hands in his. "Janet, no. It was nothing you did or didn't do. I'm so sorry, I never intended to make you feel like you did something wrong that night".

"Then what happened Eddie. I mean, I know we haven't really talked about what comes next in this relationship, but I want you to know that I'm ready and I want to be with you."

The look of vulnerability on her face was almost too much for him. He reached up and brushed her curls back. "Janet, what happened that night had everything to do with me and nothing to do with you."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

He got up from the sofa hoping that putting some distance between them would help him think a little more clearly. He needed to explain this in a way so that she would understand how much he cared about her and wanted this relationship to work.

"You know who I was before we started dating. I was the guy who couldn't make a relationship last past two weeks and I liked it that way. No attachment meant nothing is really lost when it ends, you know. But with you it's different. I've never felt this way about anyone before." He sat back down beside her and took her hands "This is new territory for me too Janet, and I guess I'm scared."

She stroked his hand and urged him to continue.

"With all those other girls, I lost interest in them after we had sex. And the thing is I can't be sure if that was something that happened because I wanted it to or if it's just who I am." Eddie knew he may be sounding desperate but he needed her to understand what she meant to him, "I want us to work Janet. I want you in my life, and I'm scared that if we take this to the next level that might be the end and I'm not ready for that".

Eddie took a breath and searched her eyes for a sign of understanding, of assurance.

"Look Eddie. I don't know what went on with those other girls, but I do know how we feel about each other. I have feelings for you that I didn't even know I could have for another person and from what you've just told me, you feel the same. I understand there is risk involved, for both of us because I don't want this to end any more than you do, but I don't think we can keep treading water either. I think if we're in this, then we're in this…all the way and I have to believe that the level of feeling we have for each other is what will make us work."

He took her face in his hands for a deep and passionate kiss. When Eddie kissed her all rational thought left her.

She was the one to break the kiss this time, "Maybe we could skip the movie for tonight?"

Eddie said nothing as he led her to the bedroom.

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The next morning Janet woke with Eddie's arms around her and the feel of his breath on her neck. His breathing told her that he was still sound asleep and she took the opportunity to reflect on what had happened last night. After they had made love the first time Eddie had fallen silent and she became concerned.

"Eddie?" She had asked. Never had one word held so many questions.

Eddie brought her close, and kissed her with an intensity she had never felt from him before.

"I love you Janet."

She smiled back at him, "I love you too Eddie."

With that thought she nestled as close as she could to him and fell back to sleep.