A/N: This is a collection of Heroes spoofs, just because my friend and I are crazy and it's fun. I love the show and all of it's characters. Flames aren't very nice, but personally I don't really care.
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It had been a long day for Sylar. People tried to kill him a lot, that was nothing new, and every time they actually succeeded he always some how got back to life. Today, however, has been unusually violent and truthfully, he was a bit tired of it. He wandered around, because he really didn't have a house anymore, just wanting someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't judge him. That's when he remembered. That cute fluffy ball of orange fur. Mr. Muggles. Yes, he would understand.
After obtaining a map and the largest blueberry muffin he had ever seen Sylar made his way to the Bennet house, where he knew Mr. Muggles would be. Luckily, no one was home, so he just let himself in. He was greeted by the frantic yapping of a Pomeranian as Mr. Muggles scurried toward him on his small legs.
"Hey, Mr. Muggles," Sylar greeted, glad to see the dog, yet still depressed from his hard day, "Can I talk to you? It's just that, today's been hard and nothings been going right for my for a long time, There's just no one I can talk to, they all keep trying to kill me. I just need someone who will listen, someone who understands," He sniffed, getting a little emotional.
"Ruff," Barked Mr. Muggles.
"Like, this morning, I want out to get a Carmel Frappachino with a dash of cinnamon and a dollop of whipped cream from Starbucks, I had a gift card, and Hiro, the Japanese guy who can bend space and time and has that big sword, I don't think you've ever met him, started freaking out about wantons and calling me a 'bad man'" Sylar sat down on one of the chairs in the living room, Mr. Muggles jumping onto his lap.
"I'm not a bad guy really, ask the ladies at my book club!" He said, scratching Mr. Muggles behind the ears, "I never wanted to be able to steal peoples powers, though I have to admit it is pretty cool. I accidently killed my psycho globe-loving mom, not my fault, she attacked me, and then I painted a future-painting in her blood. I just can't catch a break, Mr. Muggles! I've been tested on, stabbed through the chest, shot who knows how many times, electrocuted, and other various painful things. Do you know what that's like?"
Mr. Muggles cocked his head and barked.
"I suppose not," Sylar sighed, "I killed all these people and got their awesome powers, just to have them taken away by this crazy virus, except for my telekinesis though, which I'm glad for, it's my favorite. After I got healed I had to go around finding new awesome powers, and it's not as easy as you'd think. Maybe now I should stop and turn over a new leaf, open a shoe store maybe. Not a generic shoe store either, no Payless or Footlocker for me. I'd open some swanky expensive shoe store, would you like that, Mr. Muggles?"
Suddenly there was the scraping a the front door being unlocked and Mrs. Bennet, Sandra I think, walked in with her arms full of groceries. Mr. Muggles yapped with joy and lept from Sylar's lap and scurried over to his crazy owner who was obsessed with him.
"Hello, Mr. Muggles!" She cooed, walking towards the kitchen. Only to shriek as she saw Sylar sitting in her living room and drop the groceries, almost crushing Mr. Muggles. She pulled out one of the tiny guns from her purse, because she carried on everywhere except the airport now because she was so paranoid. "What are you doing here?" She demanded in a quivering voice.
"I just wanted to see Mr. Muggles," He sighed, really tired of having guns pointed at him.
"You stay away from Claire, and Mr. Muggles!" She yelled, shooting him in the shoulder, "You can have Lyle though, even I don't care about him!"
"Ow!" Sylar, watched as his shoulder spit out the bullet and proceeded to mend, "See what I mean?" He said to Mr. Muggles, who took advantage of the situation and was digging through the groceries. "Y'know what? I need some ice cream, I'll see you later, Mr. Muggles." He got up and started to walk toward the door, but Mrs. Bennet shot him again. "Stop that!" He yelled before leaving.
It was a few weeks later when Sylar returned, again bummed out after a hard day. "Mr. Muggles?" He called, worried when there was no yapping greeting. "Mr. Muggles?!" He had been trying to be good recently, even joining the Company and becoming Noah's partner, but then his 'partner' tried to get a vortex man to kill him. There's loyalty for you. Still, he was giving this whole 'good guy' thing a chance.
It was in the kitchen that he discovered the storyboards for the rest the season. He read through them and was horrified. No Mr. Muggles.
"No!" He cried in anguish. His only friend, gone. Fuming he telekinetically ripped some stuff apart before storming out. Mr. Muggles had been the only reason he had to be a good guy, and now he was gone. Sylar went off to find someone with powers to kill, but that would only make the pain go away for a little while. He knew he couldn't drown the pain in the blood of his victims forever, but it would help.