Summary: The story is set after the episode 'Kill Ari part 2'. Abby's thoughts about losing Kate and about how the loss strengthened her relationship with Gibbs.
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, or any of its characters.
After the last computer shut down, the smooth murmuring of the machine was replaced by heavy silence in the lab of NCIS. As if the air had still kept the tension of the last few days.
It was like the fallen teardrops hadn't dried up yet entirely, but it was a waste of time staring at the floor, waiting for those signs of sorrow to glint.
Abby Sciuto knew that, but she still caught herself doing it again and again that night. Her thoughts were carrying her far away as she went through the past seventy two hours' events in her mind.
Two days before, it was Tony's tight hug that made her believe that the irreversible really had happened. Till then she could have told herself it all had been just a bad dream.
Then the sound of broken glass flashed into her mind, followed by the feeling of Gibbs' wet face touching hers gently, his arms wrapping around her torso protectively – No. It couldn't have been a simple bete noir, since she has never needed anybody that much to comfort her.
Though the raindrops also have been long desappeared now.
Abby would have been more than happy if that weird, pressing feeling had left her heart so easily, but she knew that pain can't be compared to any liquids, and if it ever dries up, it leaves an everlasting mark on her soul.
Like the mark that pool of blood left on that certain rooftop.
She shook her head and walked to the solitary rack to put her coat on. Maybe she shouldn't have thought about things like this, since in the afternoon she was able to smile again, she felt a bit lighter.
When she was ready, she took her umbrella off of the coat-stand and threw a last glance at the quiet, empty laboratory. She loved that place and despite that not so long ago she had lived through a very hard time there, she didn't feel like going home.
Before she pushed the light switch, her eyes cought on something and she made her way back to the refrigerator. A black suit and matching trousers were placed noticeably hurried on the hanger on the bar fastened to the frame of the glass door.
Abby smiled, set them straight, then took the hanger down and placed the pieces of clothes onto her left arm.
Though it was past midnight, she suspected she would still find her boss in the building. The last three days Gibbs wore himself out trying to catch Kate's killer and until the last waves of stress withered away, he wouldn't be able to sleep. Of course the effect of caffeine put a few coals on the fire, but Abby – as a fervent admirer and follower of Gibbs, so much so that she shared even this bad habit of his – knew that soon even that wouldn't be enough, and the stimulant would lose its influence over him.
As the elevator door opened, she could see at once that while on the one hand she was right, she was definitely wrong on the other.
There was only one reading lamp turned on in the otherwise dark bullpen. The girl first went to McGee's desk without making a sound, put down the suit, then stepped by Gibbs' desk and looked down at the man. Gibbs rested his head on his forearm, his breathing was smooth, his eyelids hinted at deep dreams in their immobility. The light of the lamp bounced off the silver hair that Abby adored so much. She still remembered when Kate had once told him: "Your hair is…You". And indeed, the marine-cut radiated the man's unique personality, it was the brand of all the things that Abby liked about him.
Her eyes stuck to the papers that lay under the former marine's arms and a name caught her glance immediately: Ari Haswari. So Gibbs still wants to figure out why Kate got that bullet instead of him. He tries to think with Ari's mind. A dead man's mind. For another deceased soul – and for a lost miracle.
Abby's always thought that the common feature about her and Gibbs has always been the fact that they have watched the world from two very different point of views, and in her opinion there was no contradiction in this statement at all. Because every time Gibbs set foot in the lab and left with a smile on his face, he got something from Abby's nature, and she got back the precious gift every occasion when the man made her toe the line, taught her life, when he rushed her to get to the point. He was the one that kept her feet on the ground and she was very grateful for it.
But at that moment, when she was standing next to him, looking down at his peaceful face, she was persuaded that they couldn't have been more similar to each other. They had a common feeling that tied them together: they shared the pain, the burden of loss.
Besides, no matter how hard a time all the members of the team had for losing Kate, Gibbs' soul could have been the heaviest, because he was the one she gave her life for.
The funeral was earlier that day. Sunshine only steeled the seeds of remembrance in them, made them realize what kind of person they were about to say good bye to.
For Abby the most odd thing proved to be that it wasn't too hard standing by the grave at all. Nobody wiped away any tears, everybody was smiling instead. All of them were dressed in black, but inside their souls were happy for that they could have known such a precious being as Kate was.
All the teardrops have already dried up.
Gibbs hugged her kindly after the service. She felt that the gesture wasn't only meant for her, but for somebody, who can never get that any more.
Abby unbottoned her coat and placed that on Tim's desk too. She didn't even feel like going home before, so in the end, she decided to stay. She removed her boots, then threw the cup of coffee that was stationed on her boss' desk to the wastebasket.
She smiled at her favourite, sleepy agent, before she started ambling towards the elevator. In the last moment she changed her mind and chose the stairs instead, because she didn't want the elevator bell to bring the slumbering back to the harsh reality.
Once she was back with the equipment, she was satisfied to see that everything was in the right place, even Gibbs. She covered him with the blanket, that she brought up from the lab carefully, making sure her feather touch couldn't have been sensed in his dreamland.
After that, she spread the other thick blanket on the ground next to Gibbs' desk and took out a warm jumper from Tony's drawer so she wouldn't be cold either. After putting it on, she let her hair out, ruffled it up, then used her fingers as a comb to try to straighten it again.
Everything was ready.
She was watching the sleeping agent for another long minute, then bent over him quietly and gave him a soft kiss on his temple.
"Good night, Gibbs" she whispered while switching off the reading lamp.
She made herself comfortable on the rug and lay there with her eyes open for a while. This time, there wasn't any tension, or heavy silence, though there weren't computer sounds either, no whirring or beeping or buzzing. They were all removed by a much more natural tone: by Gibbs' even breathing.
Every time he took a breath, the pressure in Abby's chest eased a bit.
She realized that as the Sun dries up the drops, there's a balm for the pain too. Namely, if you
have somebody you can share it with.
Because together, it's always easier.
A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!