A/N: I don't own these characters or the song.
Song Lyrics
They Looked Like Strong Hands
This isn't who I am
From confident to self doubt in 60 seconds
Storming stages and stereos
From here to there
Trying to prove that I belong
Trying to win approval
From people that I don't know
I hated myself for so long. I hated everything about myself but I covered it in rage. I tried to cover it with the blood of others. Because if everyone else hated me, then it hurt less to hate myself. And that... that was working just fine.
I lived.
Barely.
But still, I lived.
I didn't want to look at who I was. Who I had become. I knew I was a demon. I knew I was a monster. They were right. Those who shunned me and cast me aside. But no matter how hard I tried to make their words not matter to me, they got through and started killing the child within my heart. And when the child finally died, I snapped. Fine. They could call me a monster. They could call me a demon. I would become one. I would make them fear even uttering my name.
And I did.
But that did nothing to heal my bleeding heart.
And I look so strong
When the weight of all the world
Don't take it's toll
And I'd choose my side
If I believed in what was right
But I'm all wrong
Then that idiot showed up. He tore that away from me. He shattered the shell I had surrounded myself with, and hugged the child I thought had died inside me. He wrapped up the heart that was bleeding itself to nothing. The stupid kid woke up the human part of me that I wanted to die. The part that could hurt, smile, cry... even love.
I couldn't get him off of my mind, out of my heart. It was like he burrowed himself inside me and nothing but death would bring him out. After our fight, I think I almost cried. Almost. Time passed and I found myself missing him. His smile. His idiotic ability to make me smile. His brightness. His stupid optimism.
And when the chance to see him again came, no part of me hesitated.
I'm not larger than life
I'm not taller than trees
Do I mean what I say
Or is it just this disease
Where I never go home?
I used to wish he would have left me alone. I used to wish he had let the piece of me clinging for acceptance alone to die with no one to morn the fact that he was gone. That he would have let my heart bleed out into nothing, become a dry shell before disintegrating into nothing but the sand that seemed would always be a part of me.
I don't anymore. I don't know when that happened.
It could have been sudden or it could have been gradual. He was just in my head telling me it was okay. I was going to be fine. Everyone deserves to be loved. Everyone could change the parts they hated about themselves. You could show those that hoped you would fail that you could do anything, be anything, as long as you held on to who you are inside.
Never telling the truth
How this life eats away
Or admitting I'm fake
And I'm questioning
Whether this whole thing was worth it
To die poor and all alone
I can honestly say I love him. There isn't any doubt in my mind that I love him. Who couldn't love the one that made them realize they weren't expendable, the one that made them feel like their life was important, the one that made them feel like no matter who they were, they could become something else, that even if you were a monster... you could become a human once again.
Just don't tell me
This doesn't mean the world
'Cause my ears would bleed
And my heart would hit the floor
I watch him as he walks ahead of me with confidence and hope. I haven't said any of this to him. I don't let him see the longing in my eyes. I don't let him see me watch his every move. And I haven't told him I love him.
My voice comes out hesitantly. "Hey Naruto." He stops and turns to me smiling.
I haven't told him I love him.
His voice is warm. "Gaara!"
Yet.
Oh my god. Another one-shot! But actually, this could be more than a onesie. Hm. It could be. It probably should be. Ha ha ha!
This was just kind of an idea that I found myself writing down without meaning to.
The song is They Looked Like Strong Hands by Bayside. They're so awesome.