I gripped the bag of fast food from a nearby joint in my teeth as I turned the key into the lock. I kicked the motel door to allow it to swing open, revealing Sam's and my shabby residence for the next few weeks. I inhaled through my nose and got a savory whiff of the cheeseburgers inside the bag, to which I stumbled inside and dropped the bag onto the counter in one swift motion.
Sam was on a case in the next town over, so I had the room to myself tonight. I planned on the usual: a highly stimulating episode of 'Casa Erotica' (which I purchased with Sam's card so as to be conspicuous), and stuffing my stomach full of greasy food, all while rolling around in my little brother's bed, just for the purpose of annoying him.
Though I told Sam that I would be alone all night, I knew that my company had different plans. He's definitely a clinger, and little did Sammy know, I appreciated every codependency I noticed. I shut the door, and locked all three locks, before stepping ever so softly around the corner to face a closed bathroom door.
"I'm home, my angel," I yelled, a smirk sprinting across my lips. I eyed myself in the mirror to be absolutely sure I was presentable, and when I got no response from the dorky former-host of heaven in the restroom, I knocked again.
Castiel sighed to himself, and wiped away a few tears before replying to my slightly obnoxious action. "I'll be a minute, Dean."
"Since when do angels need to do their business?" I asked in a husky voice, my hands wandering down to my pants to unbuckle my belt. I then tossed the leather garment across the room, and leaned closer to the door.
"Since now," his cracked tone spoke up, tearing the air around me into shreds.
I swallowed my pride and cockiness, and became empathetic. I allowed my head to fall against the door, where I heard his quiet sobs. "Cas...what's wrong?"
"Leave me alone," he cried back, his deep voice booming and his cheeks becoming damper.
"No can do, bud," I pulled out my lock pick and opened the door.
My voice caught in my throat when I saw him crumpled up against the wall, whimpering into the corner. His hands clutched the shower curtain, and the color of his knuckles ranged from blood red to ghastly white. I quickly approached his scrunched up figure and placed my callused hand on his shoulder. To my surprise, he didn't jerk his shoulder blade until my hand fell to my side like he usually does.
I knelt down beside him and slammed my back against the wall. Grabbing his hand, I allowed him to fall into my lap. He did, and his sobs echoed through the room, making my own eyes water.
"Cas, talk to me," I breathed into his chocolate brown hair.
"You won't understand, Dean. Nobody will." Castiel whispered to the wall across from them.
I held him closer to my frame and sighed into his shoulder. "Try me. I'm sure I can turn on my empathy."
"You and Sam don't know how it feels to be flung from the only home you've ever known! I-I rebelled against my father, Dean...I'm done." He murmured into the stale motel air.
"If it's any consolation, Sammy most definitely knows how you feel...on a much more normal and less cosmically infinite way." I said with a chuckle, attempting to make him laugh even in the slightest. My efforts were futile. "Cas, what can I do? I wanna help you."
He ceased crying and stared up at me with his beautiful blue orbs. "I-I want what Sam and Jess had...before the fire. If I'm gonna be human, I want to be fully human. I want to live, for once, Dean. My Father would kill me, but, I wanna be a person."
"Hey, the man upstairs can't touch you, m'kay. And, if it's sex you want, it's sex you're gonna get. Let's go get you laid, Cas." I stood up and offered my hand out to him.
"Dean...I don't want to be utterly iniquitous." The angel avoided my gaze. I silently thanked the God I didn't believe in for that: setting Cas, my Cas, up with a woman would be painful for reasons I couldn't understand. "I want...I want love."
My heart stopped beating inside my chest, and the Enochian symbols carved into my rib cage began quaking. Maybe, just maybe, Castiel would say the one thing I wanted him to. In fear of rejection, I could never say it myself.
"Don't we all..." I muttered under my breath, scratching my arm through my leather jacket.
"What?" Castiel asked, confusion gracing his features.
I cleared my throat and extended my arm out to him again. He accepted and I raised him off of the cold tiles covering the bathroom floor. Once he was back on his feet, I straightened his tie and fixed his collar.
"Nothing. Well, it'll be slightly difficult to find a mortal woman who's willing to love your feathery ass, but I'm game—"
Before I could finish my cocky statement, Cas had taken me into his arms and was pressing his lips onto mine voraciously. Though surprised, I didn't pull away or force myself away from his chest. In fact, I subconsciously leaned into the heated kiss that was taking place, snaking my hand under his khaki trench coat and up his muscular back. Even though we were running low on oxygen between us, we didn't part until we were about to faint.
Sparks flew from every vein in my body, and fireworks soared behind my apple green eyes. I had never experienced such a powerful sensation, and my hands shook with anticipation for what he was going to do next.
My eyes locked with the angel's, and he jerked his hand up behind his neck before turning bright red. "I-I, uh...I'm sorry...Dean. I don't know what came over me—"
"Cas, just shut up." I leaned forward and took him into my arms again, him staring up at me with the entire universe hidden in his eyes. He craned his neck to peer up into my eyes, and struggled to breath normally. "Shut up and kiss me."
He complied, and I smashed my lips into his once again, our hands exploring each other's body. Rather than reaching for his rear like I would usually do, I ran my slender fingers through his silky tresses and smiled into the kiss. He slammed my body against the wall behind me and made out with me passionately, his hand caressing my exposed collar bone.
I had had many dreams of this very moment, but none of the euphorias I had engineered for myself in my subconscious came remotely close to what the real deal felt like. I fell in love with this angel, my angel, before I even met him, though I knew it not.
Cas suddenly let go of my body, and looked up at me, an adorable confusion lurking in the corners of his smile. "Why do I feel so...tingly? Dean, am I dying?"
"No, you're not dying, Cas. That tingling is...well, that's called love." I blushed, turning away from him.
"Huh." The sexy angel breathed. "Well, do you feel it, too?"
I laughed to myself before nodding. "I feel it in every fiber of my being. And I've felt it for a long time."
"Oh, thank Dad. I'm not the only one." He managed to murmur under his breath.
"Cas, did you just say 'thank Dad?'" I snickered whilst eyeing his tomato red cheeks. It took every ounce of me not to kiss every inch of his body right then and there. Sarcasm was my way of masking emotions, and I knew for a fact Cas could see right through the facade.
"I can't take my half brother's name in vain, either, so..." He snatched my hand from where it laid limp at my side and held it in his. "Dean...thank you. For being here."
"Cas, you know I'm always here for you. You-you're my family, and...and I love you." I whispered despite my common sense putting a hand over my mouth, severing the eye contact we previously held.
My heart sunk inside my chest when I didn't get an immediate reciprocation or a strong denial.
I wanted to cry, until Castiel spoke again in his deep, masculine voice. "I love you, too. I-I didn't want to say it before...because I didn't want to ruin—"
I cut him off abruptly, yanking his muscular frame into an embrace, and then pressing my lips to his and kissing them for as long as I possibly could. I had never put so much thought and passion into a kiss like I did with Cas. When we released one another from the intoxicating grasp of the passion surrounding us, he chuckled sweetly, utter music to my ears.
"I've wanted to do this, all of this, for a long time, Dean," he whispered, making me smile.
I grinned down at him. "As much as I don't wanna have to deal with sexually frustrated Cas all day tomorrow, I propose we save what you're thinking of for after ganking some demons."
"Deal," Cas pecked my cheek, waltzing into the front room.
Truth be told, I never thought a kiss could do so much. A few minutes ago, Castiel was a weeping ball of condensed sadness in the corner of the bathroom, and now he's dancing around the motel like he just saw a honeybee. I smiled at the thought of living a domestic life with Cas, like I had for so many nights before, and I followed him out into the foyer with a stupid happy grin on my face.
When I emerged from the restroom, I saw Cas laying smack in the middle of one of the two queen beds in the room, his arm outstretched to me. His eyes begged me to come closer, to which I immediately complied. I climbed into bed beside him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer to him. Though our romantic feelings had just recently come to light, we acted as if we had been a couple for months, maybe even years.
Castiel nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck, and left chaste kisses all the way down to the collar of my t-shirt. When he stopped, I stared down into his flawless cerulean eyes, and eyed his perfect features.
"Cas...did you really mean what you said back there? That you...love me?" I managed to ask through the suffocating romance in the air.
"Of course I did. Dean, you have my handprint on your body from when I gripped you tight and raised you from the bowels of perdition. My heart only beats for you. I love you." He blushed a brilliant vermillion and avoided my piercing gaze.
I exhaled warm air into his wavy tresses and held his hand to my chest. "Good. I meant it, too. I just thought you might have said that in the heat of the moment—"
"Shh, not so loud; Gabe might hear and tackle Sam," Cas shushed me with a finger to my lips.
"I knew that feathery bastard had a thing for my brother." I mumbled, twirling his hair around my finger. Cas yawned, and I kissed his head. "You tired?"
"Huh. I thought I was dying, but exhaustion sounds more likely given my current state." He blinked into my shirt. "How do you fall asleep, anyway?"
"Just...just lay your head down on my chest and listen to my heartbeat. Close your eyes and relax, I've got you." I whispered, adjusting his body against my toned frame. "I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."
He did as I requested, and soon his soft snores and relaxed breathing sounded throughout the room. I ran my fingers down his chest and felt the curves of his body: the vascularity of his forearms, the V etched into the space between his hipbones. He's perfect, he's my angel.
I was just about to doze off into a sweet slumber when I heard keys jingling outside the door. Though my first and primary instinct was to slowly and carefully move Cas over beside me and haul ass to the other bed, I decided against it. The angel hardly ever had peaceful days, let alone nights. Quite frankly, neither did I. When I looked back down at his chest that moved up and down in sync with his quiet breathing, I smiled into his chocolate locks. I didn't have the heart to move him, or wake him up. It'd been a long day, for everyone.
Sam barreled into the room with his usual amount of self control, spewing random thoughts of his and forgetting to consider our sleeping neighbors. My hand snaked up Cas' back, and I let it stay there as I prepared to be poked and prodded until my ears bled by my hulking moose of a little brother.
"M'kay, so get this. We're hunting an extremely neurotic skin—" He began before spinning around and seeing Cas and I cuddled together on my bed.
I offered him a grin, but he was seemingly frozen in place. "Hey, Sammy."
His voice caught in his throat, and he had to take a moment to collect his thoughts and figure out what he was going to say. Finally, he found it. "Uh...hey. So...is this, like, a thing now?"
"I don't know. We had a moment, and this happened." I murmured, subconsciously stroking his hair. I forced myself to stop, as Sam was eyeing me with confusion once again. "Honestly, man, you went to Stanford. This shouldn't be too hard to figure out."
"Do you...want this to be a thing?" He asked.
"Well...I'm torn on whether I should lie or give you the truth," I exhaled as I focused on Cas' breaths bouncing off my exposed chest.
"The truth would be great," he answered with his goofy smile.
I ran my free hand through my tresses before speaking. "I do, actually. If only you were a fly on the wall earlier, man. We admitted to some very deep stuff, more than I ever had before."
"You guys didn't—"
"Jeez, Sam. Quiet down, and do not wake the sleeping angel on top of me." I shushed him.
"You didn't answer my query, Dean," he rolled his eyes.
"No, we didn't sex it up, okay? But, if my door is locked tomorrow, don't use the pick." I smirked in reply to his cockiness.
He shook his head and groaned. "Gross. Well, this has been sufficiently awkward...and I'm gonna go grab some food."
"'kay. We'll be here, together...in a bed." I taunted him as he walked outside.
Once Sam was out of the room, he sighed to himself and yanked his cellphone from his pocket. He dialed a number into the keyboard, and waited for a voice to be heard.
"Heya, Bobby. Guess what?" He asked with a wide grin.
Bobby's eye roll was nearly audible it was so clear. "What's that, boy? I'm having me-time."
"You were right,"
"About the lamia, or the skin-walker?" He asked with a slight hesitation as he paused his television.
"For the record, it's a skin-walker. But, no. About Dean, and Castiel. They're...together. Like, together together." Sam muttered, stepping closer to the Impala.
"Ha! I knew it! You owe me twenty bucks, Sammy!" Bobby laughed on the other line. "I knew he had a thing for Cas' feathery ass."
"Okay, Bobby. I didn't need that after what I just saw." He feigned disgust.
Bobby's jaw dropped. "I don't even wanna know. I'm comin' by tomorrow. See ya then."
"Okay. Thanks." Sam said.
"And, tell those idjits to keep the lovey-dovey to a minimum, okay?" Bobby asked before hanging up. Once he got an affirmative from Sam, he threw his phone onto the table beside him and resumed his television show like nothing had happened. He then shook his head with a huge smile and cocked his head. "Idjits."