Something To Give You a Heart About
Summary: One Shot. AkuRoku. Roxas and Axel don't have hearts, like all nobodies. Axel's love for Roxas is growing continuously, and totally oblivious to what else lies around him… Axel is unaware that Roxas, too, is growing with a need to be with Axel. Too unfortunate for them both, Axel has slowly faded away into the next life, and waits for Roxas to find him so he can tell him the truth.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 2 and their characters, nor do I own the settings.
I wanted to see Roxas… He… was the only one I liked… He made me feel… like I had a heart… It's funny… you make me feel… the same.
Roxas sat in a lonesome room, hearing those words run through his mind, as if they had happened only seconds ago. Axel had been talking to Sora then, but to say Roxas didn't hear every word… was the absolute opposite.
Roxas wanted nothing but to hear those words from Axel again, to show himself from Sora and tell Axel his goodbyes. Or at least tell Axel how he really felt.
Roxas looked out of a window that viewed an ocean. He spotted Sora running around with his friend Riku on the beach that was colored by the sun's setting rays. Pinks and oranges filled the sky, ready for the moon to take over with its dark purple and blue charm.
Sighing, Roxas reminisced to when he would watch the sunset, eating sea-salt ice cream on the watchtower in Twilight Town, with Hayner, Pence and Olette... But then again, it had all been a fake, created by someone who was none other than brutal to poor Roxas.
It was real to me…
Roxas clasped a hand over his chest, closing his eyes, "Things must be better without a heart…" he whispered, "Yet, sometimes I wonder… what it would feel like, to have something so powerful inside of me, showing me true emotions. But…" he looked back out of the window. Sora and Riku were lying on the beach, Riku hovering over Sora and leaning in to give him a small kiss.
He pictured it being he and Axel… Axel leaning over Roxas and kissing him ever so sweetly, like he had always dreamed, "When I was with you… it always made me feel like… you were my heart. That's why it hurts now… Because I didn't get to tell you the truth."
Axel…
Let's meet again in the next life…
Yeah, I'll be waiting.
Silly, just because you have a next life.
"Every cross thing I ever said to you, Axel… I want to…" Roxas felt his eyes sting, "I want to take it all back. I want to tell you what was really going on in my mind. Back then… when you were still here, I was so confused. I didn't really know right from wrong. I had no idea why I was even here, and then Naminé… told me that I shouldn't have even existed, and that… made it all worse for me."
Sora and Riku ran back across the beach, Sora being caught in Riku's arms and twirled around in a full circle. Roxas could hear their constant laughter, and felt a small tear fall from his eyes. He watched as Riku pulled Sora into another kiss.
"Sora… I'm so jealous of you."
You're lucky… Looks like… My summer vacation is… over
Roxas smiled lopsided, "You have a heart, and you have someone that loves you too… He has a heart just like yours. Why can't I… have a heart too?"
Why?
Because you hold the other half of his "power." And… because you are a nobody.
So what?! …I hate you so much…
Then make sure you pass on your hate to him as well.
No! My heart belongs to me!
Roxas closed his hand over the black material to his Organization cloak. He sniffled, the tears falling from his eyes as he looked down at the bed beneath him. Sora's bed. "Why am I still here? Why do I keep having to cry all this pain away? I'm not supposed to feel anything, nothing at all! If Axel had to fade away to the next life, why couldn't I have gone with him!"
We're nobodies. We don't feel happiness or sadness. Even though we want to… we have no heart.
Hey… I'll… miss you…
"Axel… why do you make me feel so… sad?" Roxas cried, the tears overcoming him and causing him to hunch over into a fetal sitting position. He clasped his chest, feeling nothing but the tremor of his entire body as he sniveled.
"You were sent to destroy me… but… Axel… if I hadn't defeated you, would you have really destroyed me? Or… would you have run away and let me live? I wonder how it would have felt to you, had you destroyed me like Xemnas ordered you."
I've been given an awful order… if you don't come back with me, I have to do away with you.
You mean… kill me?
I don't like the idea either.
But I thought… we were… friends?
Wait a sec! You remember now?! Man, I was worried there for a second!
"You and I were best friends, as soon as we met."
Wiping away the tears, Roxas sniffled, seeing the sun as it fell behind the ocean's horizon. He put on a small smile, resting his head on the windowsill. "And then… somewhere along the lines… I felt like my like for you was getting stronger. Even though we don't have hearts, I felt like something more was forming for you inside of me. I felt like I was falling in love with you." Roxas blushed to himself, "Whether the feelings were false… or if they were really and truly existent, it didn't matter Axel. I still wanted to tell you, but I had to give myself to Sora."
I wanted to see Roxas…
Roxas winced, still with a hand over his chest, "My journey had ended when he woke. All the times he came in contact with you, Axel, I felt myself yearning to tell you, but it was no use since I couldn't tell you myself."
Roxas continued to peer out onto the beach, seeing that Sora and Riku were still enveloped in one another, kissing, as Riku swayed Sora from side-to-side playfully.
"At least they found their dreams."
Roxas let his eyes fall closed and he sighed, resting against that sill still as he breathed in and out slowly.
Dreams?
Yeah, about a boy my age… He also has a keyblade. His name is… Sora.
"Still talking to yourself, eh, little buddy?"
Roxas felt a warm presence surrounding him. His eyes remained closed, and he shifted a little bit on the bed, pondering it just another dream.
"C'mon, Roxas… I stay gone for a little while and come to see you, and all you do is ignore me?"
"Hm…? Who are you?"
"It's me… Axel… Got it memorized?"
Roxas let his eyes open. He gawked slightly, swallowing.
"Unless… you really don't want to see me."
The blonde boy sat up completely straight, turning his attention to the other side of the room. His azure eyes widened, and he breathed a little quicker, nearly slipping off the bed when he brought hands to his mouth.
Axel stood over near the door to Sora's bedroom, leaning against the boy's dresser with his arms folded over his chest. A smile was upon his lips, and Axel laughed small, "Hey Roxas."
"Axel…"
"Yeah, I'm here."
"But you…"
"I know, you're a little wierded out, right? But I'm not here to scare you." Axel approached the bed, sitting on it with one leg tucked under the other. He smiled sweetly at Roxas, staring into his eyes.
Roxas reached out and hesitated, not sure whether or not to believe Axel.
"It's okay. Your hand's not going to pass through me."
He nodded, reaching again until his hand came into contact with Axel's pale cheek. Roxas gasped, feeling the softness of the redhead's skin as he nuzzled into Roxas' hand.
Axel's hand clasped over the smaller one then. He smiled bigger, kissing the palm and then lacing his fingers around Roxas'.
"Did you miss me, little buddy?"
"Axel…"
"I take that as a yes?"
Roxas was speechless. He stared at the lanky redheaded man, registering that he was actually there. Holding his hand, talking to him… Axel was there, in front of him.
Roxas seeked this as an opportunity to tell Axel everything. All of what he had felt then and what he still felt now. All of it was overflowing his mind and wanting to jump out into words for his best friend. "I… I missed you… So much."
"Ah, there's that voice." Axel smiled, chuckling, "Roxas… I came back for you."
"I wanted to see you too, Axel. Everything you said to Sora… it hit me. I wanted to go with you, and when you faded away… I thought I lost everything. After you left, I tried letting go of you, but, Axel, I just couldn't… I couldn't-"
Axel blinked, placing a finger over Roxas' lips, "Boy, aren't you one to ramble. Had I known you were going to ambush me with words, I would have brought a snack."
"Listen to me!" Roxas yelled, his voice cracking.
The room became silent, Axel merely looking at Roxas with questioning eyes.
Roxas tremored and let go of Axel's hand, twisting his cloak in between his fingers, "Axel… did I really… make you feel like you had a heart?"
Axel scratched his head, "You heard that, eh?" he smiled, "Roxas… you made me feel like a real person. When I was with you, it was like we weren't nobodies. Out of all the other eleven members, you were the one I wanted to be with, the one I liked the most."
"Then why didn't you mention it before?"
"Because you kept pushing me away."
Roxas looked away from Axel then. He had pushed him away? Something inside of Roxas began to ache, and he swallowed, gaining the courage to look back into Axel's eyes. "I didn't know what I was doing... I was struggling with so much. Those dreams, wondering why I was another chosen keyblade wielder. And then those feelings I had about you."
"Me? What… what do you mean?"
Roxas sighed, looking at Axel and then shifting his gaze out to the window where Riku and Sora were. "The feeling I got when I thought I fell in love with you."
Axel reeled back slightly, his body filling with warmth as he stared at Roxas from behind, "Love?"
"Come on Axel…" Roxas smiled back at him, "You know you loved me too."
Axel smirked, "Was it that obvious?"
"I didn't figure it out until you faded away. That's when it really hit me. Life without a heart… life without you, Axel."
"Roxas…"
"Axel… I think I found my heart."
Roxas came in a little closer to Axel and pulled open his cloak a little bit. Axel blushed as he felt Roxas' fingertips over his collar bone.
Roxas smiled at him and traced a heart with his finger. He then let some more tears fall, and leaned in to kiss the invisible shape from which he traced. "Axel, will you be my heart?"
He… was the only one I liked…
"Do you want me to be?"
Roxas wrapped his arms about Axel, kissing his chest some more. The blonde nuzzled into Axel, humming in the satifaction of finally having him in his arms.
Axel looked down at him, running his hand through the silky blonde locks of hair on his head. He swallowed, kissing Roxas' hair and then trailing his lips down to the younger one's cheek.
Roxas smiled at Axel, pushing him away slightly, "Axel…"
Axel merely took a breath, washing his eyes over Roxas' face, falling at his lips that were smiling at him, wanting to be touched and turned beneath his own.
Axel bit his own lip, arms re-encircling Roxas in a loving embrace.
How long had he awaited this very moment. To have Roxas in his arms, smiling at him and telling him what he held inside for so much time.
"Roxas… you're… an idiot." He breathed, attatching his lips to Roxas', a hand tucking under his chin while the other remained in his hair.
Roxas sighed in relief, his eyes fluttering closed as Axel kissed him. He gave into those lips, sinking against the warm body that didn't belong to him. Axel tasted just as Roxas had imagined, sweet and loving, warm and needing.
Dreams of this moment were finally unfolding, and Roxas would have given anything for this to happen before Axel faded away.
Although, having him now after waiting so many days, so many months, was better than nothing.
Slowly, Axel kissed Roxas, giving him all the passion that he wasn't able to give before. His lips were soft and tender, warm against the blonde's slim ones.
Arms went tighter around Axel's midsection, and he felt Roxas hugging him close, pulling him more into the kiss.
He made me feel… like I had a heart…
"I want to be your heart, Roxas."
Roxas breathed in deeply, still holding Axel to his body, that had ached so long to be near the redhead, "I love you. Maybe I can't prove I love you… without a heart… but I can pretend."
"I want to be your heart."
"Axel… you already were my heart."
"I love you, Roxas. You are my Key of Destiny. After-life without you, just wouldn't be the same if you weren't."
Roxas brushed a hand over Axel's cheek and smiled, "Will you wait for me? Wait forever?"
"I'll wait longer, if you wish."
"I don't know how much longer I can wait to be with you… To be with you forever."
Axel drew from Roxas, kissing away his tears that still fell from his eyes. The redhead gave him one last kiss upon the lips, turning them gently, "Then go with me now, to the next life."
-
Sora lay beneath Riku on the beach as the shore brushed over their legs, and smiled at him.
Riku smiled back at Sora, going in for a kiss when he noticed tears falling from his lover's eyes. "Sora, what's the matter?"
"I don't know." Sora smiled, wiping away the tears with the back of his hand, "I just feel so happy."
"Maybe it's because there's nothing left to worry about. We're finally at peace with the worlds and there is no longer any danger amoung us."
"Yeah… maybe that's it."
End.