Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own NCIS or it's amazing characters. It deeply saddens me to admit it, but it is true.
I hope you all enjoy this. NCIS has become my new fanfic writing obsession. :] I now write for TWO fandoms. YAY. :]
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She always knew she was different, but she never thought she was that different. She sees the surprise in Gibbs' eyes when he gets in her face and she doesn't back down, doesn't even flinch, or show any sort of indication that he has invaded her personal bubble.
She doesn't tell him that she has never had a "personal bubble", she doesn't think he'd understand, though it is true.
The first head-slap she receives from Gibbs causes her to laugh, a chuckle that forces its way out of her throat, because its an inoffensive gesture, at least that's what she thought. She watches as Tony gets his head slapped, and he sarcastically plays it off as a "sign of affection", and she knows she sees things differently then most.
She sees the good in people, but she also sees the bad. The flaws that make a single person are what she has been trained to focus on, but no matter how much training she has had to zero in on the flaws, she can't help but to see the good, to see the way some people shine. She's always been different from any other Mossad assassin in this respect, no matter how much she tried to be normal.
She can control her emotions, even when they overwhelm her to the point that she feels she may just break, she can still hold it all in, show no signs of weakness. Some people told her she had no feelings, but she has plenty, she has just learned to keep the deeply hidden, a sanctity of her own, something she can bring out and reflect on when the moments allow it. She has always been different from her NCIS peers, no matter how much she tried to fit in.
Her heart beats, just like everyone else, and she has to breathe in air, but for some reason she is different then everyone else. She knows that "everyone is different", she has heard that saying before, but when they say that, there are usually certain groups that the people fit in with, that they share certain attributes of their personalities. But not her, she is Ziva David, and she has never been sure where she belongs.
Tali helped her to feel that she had somewhere to come home too. Someone to depend on, and when she died she felt as if that piece of her had died as well, the piece that made her feel like an actual human.
She's different, and she feels unloved, and yet she still has the will to move on like everything is fine. Most people would let this bring them down, let it cause them to fall into a deep hole of despair with no light to show them the way out, but not her. To her this gives her the strength to stay who she is.
She is not sure when it happened, or what brought it on, but she has found a place. A niche in which she can be with without that awkward feeling that would always be present.
Something has changed, and she is not sure where the change is located. Did she herself change? She often contemplates that, but she usually writes it off as nothing, because she is Ziva David, and she does not succumb to things such as change, but deep insides she knows she has opened herself up in a way she has not allowed herself to do before.
She figures out what the change is, it comes in the form of her racing heart, and sweaty palms. She doesn't know how to react to this change, or the way she feels lighter when she sees him. She wasn't supposed to fall in love with Special Agent Tony DiNozzo, but she has, and she can't help but to feel better around him. She now knows the change, and it is him.
Tony DiNozzo, has become her home, has made her feel special in a way she never thought she could.
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"Why don't you click the comment button?
And type a little something."
I hope you enjoyed this one-shot. I've been to busy to write anything longer than what my fics have been. :/ But I am hoping that after the New Year, I will have more free time so I can write. We will see how that ends up. :]
I am finally getting over the sinus infection that I had though, so I will be back at work tomorrow. YAY?
And reviews would be greatly appreciated. :]]
Oh. And something that I found interesting and it made me squee, my doctors name is Dr. Tiva. LOL.
Rai.~
