Disclaimer: I do not own the characters within this story. All rights and much respect go to Crown Media, Hallmark, Brian Bird, Michael Landon, Jr., the actors, creators, and writers of the show "When Calls the Heart." Any real people or places noted in the chapter are just there for storyline purposes.
Note- Thank you very much, Patricia Myers, who suggested that I write a military themed story. Here you go, and I hope you like the way it's starting out.
Chapter 1- Trying to Move On
Norfolk, Virginia- December 2016
It was December 23rd, Elizabeth had waited until the last minute to purchase her Christmas tree, hoping beyond hope that her fiancé, Shane, a Navy fighter pilot, would be home early. The Ombudsman had given the wives, fiancés and girlfriends hope that their loved ones would make it home before the holidays, and she wanted to pick out their first Christmas tree as an engaged couple together. However, as the days edged closer toward Christmas the possibility of many happy reunions became less and less likely.
Elizabeth struggled with the perfect Colorado Blue Spruce pine tree that she'd found at the local Christmas tree lot down the street. It was apparent that everyone in her apartment complex had already left for the holidays, and she was left alone to drag the tree up to her third floor apartment.
Once inside, she set up the tree by her window which overlooked the Willoughby Bay. She sat down with a cup of coffee, doing her best to stave off the chill of the windy December evening.
She turned on the TV, generally choosing to stay away from news channels, as the information regarding military operations tended to upset her.
She walked into the kitchen to refill her cup, but on her way back into the den, she was unable to turn the channel before the image of a bombing in Kandahar, Afghanistan stopped her in her tracks.
Her heart pounded and the lump in her throat made it almost impossible for her to breathe. She made her way back to the sofa before her knees buckled, collapsing on the middle cushion as her coffee cup fell to the floor.
Her right hand covered her left as she began to spin the engagement ring that sat prominently on her finger. The only saving grace appeared to be the fact that the bombing had occurred two days ago. Wouldn't she have been notified by now if…?
Tears fell, although she wasn't certain why. She had been through scares like this before, but really, Shane was a fighter pilot, what were the chances that he would find himself in the exact spot of the explosion? "Slim," she told herself.
She busied herself with schoolwork hoping to take her mind off of the troubles in the Middle East. Finding that to be an impossible task, she grabbed her brown leather bound journal, opened it to its very first entry, her first argument with Shane, and she read…
"Love is an allowable four- letter word. It is extremely easy to spell, much more difficult to define, but truly impossible to live without. We want it to be perfect, but when dealing with people and their emotions, expectations, and fears, we quickly realize that it isn't a fairytale. It is work; it is hard, and it means fighting with and for each other to overcome challenges and obstacles, but knowing in the end that it was perfect for you because you did it together."
She flipped through several more entries, but as the tears flowed, seeing the words became increasingly difficult. She closed her journal, walked back to her bedroom, changed into pajamas and slipped into bed.
She closed her eyes and prayed, "Heavenly Father, I pray for Shane's safety. Please watch over him, allowing him the ability to help those in need while still protecting him from all harm and returning him safely to me. Amen."
She found herself tossing and turning all night unable to rest. Friday night did not pass quickly and as Saturday morning slowly rolled around, she dragged herself out of bed and headed for the kitchen and its promise of a pot of perfectly brewed coffee.
She pulled a cup from the cabinet and filled it with black coffee, adding the necessary sweetener and creamer to taste. She walked out into the den and began to string the lights on her tree.
A knock on the door drew her from her solitude; the two men in military uniforms standing in her hallway took her breath away, and the news they provided dropped her to her knees.
They sat with her and prayed, explaining after much prodding that his plane had gone down during a mission to remove several Isis cells, and there were no survivors. They told her how he had strategically flown the plane away from a school occupied by hundreds of children, and she should be proud of his heroism.
They provided her with the last of Shane's personal effects and apprehensively left when she asked to be alone.
As she opened the small box which contained his life, or what was left of it, she found special pictures of her and them together. She held his "worry beads" realizing that they did very little to relieve the sadness and total loss she was now feeling. At the bottom of the box was an envelope with her name on it.
Her hand shook as she pulled the envelope from the box; darkness overtook her as she contemplated not reading the letter. Realizing that she would never forgive herself if she didn't read his last words to her, she opened the envelope and removed the letter.
It was short and sweet but certainly not something that she ever thought she'd have to read without him near.
Elizabeth, I can only assume that since you are now reading this it means that I am unfortunately not coming home. My sweetheart, I always wanted to be the one lying beside you when you woke early in the morning, whispering for you to go back to sleep. I would kiss your soft lips, and hold you a bit tighter, keeping you safe and warm, knowing all the while that you were all I would ever need or want.
I know I promised that I would always be there for you, and believe me, I still am. I will be watching over you for the rest of your days. But Elizabeth, please know that I only want you to be happy. You are a beautiful woman with such a kind and pure heart. You will find someone special again, and I pray that you will have the courage to open up and give love another chance. You deserve the world; I'm just sorry that I won't be the one to give it to you.
My love forever,
Shane
She watched as the letter fell from her hand. It seemed as though life was running in slow motion as it took forever for it to hit the floor. She screamed out, feeling pain that she had never experienced before.
She attempted to catch her breath as she wrapped her arms around the last gift Shane had given her before he left on his second and final tour of duty. Olive, a yellow Labrador retriever was only 8 weeks old when Shane flew with his squadron out of Oceana Naval Air Station. That was a year ago; Olive had become her best friend and most cherished confidant and thankfully a wonderful remembrance of Shane.
Kabul, Afghanistan- February 2017
"Hey Jack," Lieutenant Commander Coulter called out from the passenger side of the Humvee, "We're going to the Mess Hall, come on jump in."
"Thanks, but I think I'm just going back to my bunk," he replied.
Lee Coulter, a close friend of Jack's from high school climbed out of his military transport vehicle and trotted over to the tent, catching Jack before he disappeared.
"Is something wrong?" Lee asked.
"I hope not," Jack stated as he glanced down at a letter that he held gently in his left hand.
"Is it…" Lee began.
Jack shook his head up and down, "Yes. I haven't heard from her in almost three weeks; I'm a little nervous to open it."
"Do you want me to open it for you?" Lee asked.
"No, but I think I need to be alone. Goose and I will just head back to my bunk, but I'll talk with you later," Jack advised. He turned and instructed his partner, a black Labrador Retriever trained to sniff out explosives, to follow as they walked across the barren and dusty street toward the unusual peace and unexpected privacy of his bunk.
Goose lay at Jack's feet while he carefully and hesitantly opened the letter. He felt his heart pounding and his lung deflating as he unfolded the single page letter.
Dear Jack,
I don't know what to say. I never thought that our relationship would be reduced to this, words on a page, but yet here I am trying to express how I feel. I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. When you proposed to me at Hilton Head as the sun was setting on the water, I just knew that I was in heaven.
But before I knew it, you were gone; deployed in a war zone with only promises that you'd return. Jack, you've been gone for over a year, and still no date for when you'll return.
I know that we had plans for the future, but Jack, being away from you for the past year has made me realize that relationships are not always meant to survive. I still love you, Jack, and I wish you well, but I cannot continue in this dark hole of not knowing.
I'm so sorry for having to give you this information in this way, but I'm eaten up with anxiety and I need this break so that I can move on. Please don't hate me, because to be honest, I hate myself enough for the both of us.
Please take care of yourself, Jack. I hope you find the woman of your dreams…"
Love always,
Rachael
The letter fell from his hand, dropping to the dirt floor, "I thought I had found her," he whispered as several tears rolled down his cheeks.
Jack picked up the envelope, catching a glimpse of something that fell, bouncing off of his combat boot and falling flat onto the floor. He picked it up, and dusted it off before realizing that it was the engagement ring he'd given to Rachael sixteen months ago.
Jack slipped it on as he spun it around the first joint of his finger. He thought back to the excitement they felt over the plans they made for their future. He knew that this time apart had been difficult for Rachael, as she had mentioned it several times in her letters to him.
As heartbroken as he felt, he wasn't completely surprised by this chain of events. Rachael's letters, initially received several times a week, had become few and far between in recent months. The information contained in each letter was simple, factual content, and contained nothing that seemed to be from her heart.
"Jack, are you okay?" Lee asked as he walked into the tent and found Jack sitting on his bunk with his head resting in his hands.
Without raising his head Jack responded, "It's over." Jack lifted his head, "I always thought that the women who sent those letters were so cruel; to rip someone's heart out they had to be so callous. I'm angry, but I still love her."
"Jack some women are simply not made out for our kind of life; they aren't comfortable being alone, and the waiting seems to eat away at them," Lee stated as he sat down on the bunk beside Jack.
"I'm done," Jack stated as he took the letter and envelope and tore it multiple times, scattering the pieces on the floor.
"Jack, don't say that. Just because Rachael couldn't handle your military life doesn't mean someone else can't," Lee stated, sympathizing with his situation. "Most of us have had to deal with what you're going through right now."
"Have you?" Jack asked knowing full well that the answer was "No."
"Well, no. I guess I was lucky when I landed Rosie. When we get out of here, we'll find you the perfect woman."
Jack half heartedly smiled, "No one's perfect."
"Maybe not, but we'll find someone who's perfect for you," Lee replied.
"I don't even want to think about it right now. Let's go get a beer," Jack stated as he headed for tent on the base that held the often much sought after alcoholic beverages.
As he reached the opening of his tent, he turned back and called Goose, who as his partner accompanied him everywhere.
Norfolk, Virginia- June 2017
Elizabeth placed the last item in the box and closed the lid, taping it for security. She looked around at the otherwise empty apartment realizing that she desperately needed a fresh start.
Although she and Shane had never lived together, she felt his presence throughout the apartment and realized the need to move on. Not that she was looking for anyone to take his place, because she certainly wasn't, but she was tired of being depressed and felt that a new home would be just the push she needed to help her move on.
Not only was she moving on from her apartment, but she also transferred from one school district to another. Thankful for her Master's Degree in Education, she was thrilled with her new position as Assistant Principal at Louise Luxford Elementary School in Virginia Beach. She felt that this was just what she needed to get her mind off of what she'd lost and hopefully begin to look toward the future.
It was Friday afternoon, everyone was gone and she used her key to enter the school, carrying some of her belongings into her new office. She sat behind her desk as she went through the boxes of items that came from her previous employment as a 2nd grade teacher.
She sat the pen holder, lamp, rolodex, and stapler on her desk, before reaching down into the box one final time where she retrieved Shane's picture. She initially sat it on the side of her desk before taking hold of it, kissing the glass and placing it upside down in the top drawer.
She spent that night in a hotel with plans to meet the movers early the next morning to unload her life from their truck. She sat on the bed with Olive by her side and she closed her eyes.
She was excited about the prospects of her new job, but her joy was broken by the loss she still felt. Shane should have been with her on this journey of a new jog, and their new life as man and wife.
She felt her heart pounding, and no matter how much water she drank, the lump in her throat refused to go away.
Elizabeth reached into her bag and pulled out her journal. She was afraid to read any of the previous entries as many of them were quite dark, and certainly not the direction in which she had ever seen her life travelling.
She quickly flipped to the first blank page, clicked her pen open, and did her best to cleanse herself of the anger, loss and sadness that she felt…
"Anticipation of things to come…the sadness of yesterday's loss unfortunately impacts the promise of today and the dreams of tomorrow. Still our hearts pound and our palms sweat as our thoughts drift to the new beginnings ahead. Will I ever be prepared? Will I ever be able to let go? And if I do, will I be able to do so without feeling guilty?
Loving someone may also mean letting them go. Both in life and death the emotions can remain just as strong as we fight internally, trying to hold on to what we want, but realizing that it was not meant to be. At some point there will come a time where we will no longer think, wonder, or dream of what might have been, and will realize that we experienced the first day without tears. Can I handle that?
Memories, both joyful and sad cause us to reflect on experiences and the relationships of our past. For every person we meet and each experience we pursue will serve a useful purpose in our lives. Our worst relationships will teach us valuable life lessons. However, our best relationships, those heart stopping ones; those just the mention of your name brightens my day relationships, and those relationships that made you a better person just by knowing them will bring about the most vivid, breathtaking memories of our lives.
When all is said and done, relax, take a deep breath and no matter what, we must believe that somewhere, somehow, the best days of your life are still yet to come."
The moving truck unloaded the last of her furniture, carefully carrying each piece and distributing it in its designated room. She supervised the move, but one they left, she realized that she still had plenty to do to unload the U-Haul truck she'd rented.
She placed Olive in the fenced in back yard of the home she purchased in a quiet neighborhood near the school as she proceeded to empty the rental truck.
Box after box made its way into her new 3 bedroom brick ranch, located on a corner lot in a quiet, well established neighborhood.
As she sat a box down on the kitchen table on her third trip into the house, she was startled by a woman's voice…
"Hello, are you in here?"
Elizabeth walked back to the front door to find an attractive blond haired woman, approximately her age standing in the doorway. "Hi."
"Hello, my name is Rosemary Coulter; well you can call me Rosie."
Still somewhat surprised Elizabeth responded "O-K, Rosie. May I help you with something?"
"Well actually, I stepped over to help you. We're neighbors," Rosie stated as she back up onto the porch and pointed to the house next door.
"Oh, I'm very happy to meet you," Elizabeth stated as she wiped the dirt from her hands before extending her arm to shake Rosie's hand.
"What can I do to help?" Rosie asked.
"I don't want to intrude. I'm sure you have work of your own to take care of," Elizabeth stated. She was actually thankful for the company, but didn't want to impose.
"Nope, my husband is on leave but is out on a deep sea fishing trip with his best friend. Are you married?" Rosie asked.
Seeing Elizabeth's expression change from smiling to tear filled eyes she took her by the hand as they sat on the front porch steps.
"Oh my word, what's wrong," she stated as she felt Elizabeth's engagement ring press into her hand. "You're engaged? This should be a happy time."
Elizabeth swallowed hard, "It should be, but my fiancé was killed in a bombing mission in Afghanistan just before Christmas, and…" she stopped.
Rosie rubbed her back, trying her best to comfort her, "And what?"
"My wedding day was supposed to be this Saturday. When I stop and allow myself to think about it, I don't feel like I can even breathe," Elizabeth rested her head in her hands. "I'm sorry; you didn't come over here to deal with this."
"Maybe not, but my husband, Lee is a Lieutenant Commander, and most of our friends are military, so I know what you're dealing with."
"Do you? Do you really? Was your life tossed around like twigs in a hurricane?" Elizabeth responded before realizing the anger that was passing through her lips.
"I'm sorry," Rosie quickly interjected. "I don't mean that I know exactly how you feel. I just have friends who are in your situation. I'm not a stranger to the loss that we all feel when someone close to us is taken away."
Elizabeth inhaled deeply, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to take this out on you. It's just everyone close to me, especially my family, tells me that I need to move on."
"And you aren't ready," Rosie stated in a whispered voice.
Elizabeth looked over as her, "Exactly. Even Shane told me in a letter that he wanted me to move on, but I just can't. I'll never find what I had with him; I don't want to find it with anyone else. It would feel wrong, somehow like I'm cheating on what we had."
"Elizabeth, only you will know when the time is right for you to move on. Apparently you are moving on in some areas. I mean you're here, aren't you?" Rosie mentioned as she reached over, took Elizabeth's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"I'm trying, and I know that I need to take off this ring, but it's the only tie I still have to him," she stated as the tears began to flow.
"Shh, it'll be okay. Hey, you have friends here, and we'll get you through this. Life is wonderful, and it will be that way for you again. You may not think so now, but I promise you it will," Rosie stated as she gave her a friendly hug.
Elizabeth held out her left hand as they both stared at her engagement ring.
"It's beautiful," Rosie commented.
"Rosie, I'm afraid to take it off because when I do it will be so final. I mean, at that point he will truly be gone; there's no chance of his plane landing at Oceana and me meeting him like we did so many other times before," Elizabeth stated as she spun the ring multiple times around her finger."
"Elizabeth, you take it off when you are ready. But when you are ready…"
"When I'm ready, what?"
"When you're ready to move on…"
"I am moving on in some areas. I'm just not ready to say goodbye to Shane," Elizabeth stated as she stood up, wiped her eyes and headed toward the front door.
"Here, let me help you," Rosie offered.
"Rosie, I appreciate the offer, but if you don't mind, I think I need to be alone," Elizabeth stated as she stepped inside and turned around to stand in the doorway.
"Would you like to come over for dinner? With any luck we'll be having a fish fry," Rosie offered.
"Thanks, but I have so much to do here, and I start back to work on Monday, so maybe I'd better stay here," she replied.
"Where do you work?"
"I'm an Assistant Principal at the local elementary school."
"Louise Luxford?"
"Yes; do you have any children there?"
"Yes, we have a first grader and a third grader, a boy and a girl, Aiden and Spencer."
"Well, I look forward to meeting them," Elizabeth stated as they said their goodbyes and each went in their own direction.
Chesapeake Bay- Rudee Angler Fishing Boat
"I can't believe how great the fishing is this time," Lee stated as he reeled in his second large tuna.
"Well, the fish must love your bait, because I haven't caught anything but that small Grouper that I threw back," Jack replied.
They both cast their lines, grabbed their beers and took their seats.
"So, how are things going with you?" Lee asked.
"What you want to know is if I'm seeing anyone, right?" Jack replied.
"Well, that would be a start."
"No, I'm not seeing anyone. Apparently the military life just isn't right for everyone, and I'm better off just staying unattached."
"Jack, you know that's not going to work but for so long. All your friends are married, and most have kids or ones on the way. You can't let what Rachael did turn you against relationships completely."
"I'm just not interested in getting involved with anyone right now, Lee. I'm no longer angry at Rachael, and I wish her well, I just wish that she could have told me in a way other than a Dear John letter," Jack replied. "That's one piece of correspondence that I never really thought I'd receive."
"Well you're a nicer guy than I am, because I'm still mad at her and she didn't break up with me."
Virginia Beach, Virginia
Several hours later they returned to Rudee Inlet, docked the boat, grabbed their haul and headed for home.
"Hey, looks like someone bought the house beside you," Jack mentioned as they pulled up in the driveway.
"Yea, hopefully it's a nice family. Our neighborhood is pretty quiet and I just want someone who will keep up their yard and not have wild parties all the time."
They walked in through the garage and found Rosie sitting at the kitchen table flipping through the church directory.
"What are you doing?" Lee asked.
"Just trying to find a nice Christian man for someone I know," she replied.
Lee glanced over at Jack, "You don't need to look any farther."
"Stop, I'm not interested," Jack blurted out.
"I'm just kidding. We guys have to stick together," Lee replied.
Lee walked to the refrigerator, "Hey Jack, you want a beer?"
"Sure," he replied as Lee grabbed two beers and they both headed for the back yard.
Goose followed Jack outside as the two men took seats on the deck and began discussing the baseball season. Jack, an Atlanta Braves fan, argued playfully with Lee, a Mets fan, over who would win the pennant this year.
"Goose," Jack called out, having lost his partner and close friend.
"There he is," Lee pointed over where Goose was leaning up against the far side of the fence trying to get closer to the beautiful yellow Lab next door.
"Well, looks like Goose is moving on. Maybe you can take a cue from him," Lee suggested.
"I told you I'm not interested in dating right now," Jack stated adamantly.
"Olive…O-live," Elizabeth called out from the back door. "Oh no; where did you go?" She mumbled as she stepped out onto her back porch and perused the yard for her faithful friend.
"There you are," she stated as she found her making friends with the handsome black Labrador Retriever next door.
As she made her way to the fence, Lee smiled as he observed a spark in Jack's eyes, "Now, are you ready now?"
To be continued…