Why do I hurt Neal as much as I do? I'm planning the ending of this series soon so be prepared for that!
Warning: None
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Humming softly Mozzie took a sip of his wine as he walked to the next piece of art. It was nice to be able to walk around a gallery and simply look at the art without thinking about how he was going to steal it. He wasn't sure if he was bored or not.
The gallery was on the small side so he had already looked at everything, but the art that was there was decent. Almost everything was painted by local artists and, while beautiful, not ripe for the stealing. Which was a good thing. Boring, but good.
When Elizabeth had asked him check out the gallery with her and her client he had thought about telling her no. It wasn't as if it was his job to make sure that her clients party went off without a hitch.
Except for the fact that she did have a client that had a party coming up. One that wanted to use the gallery for a party. One that had enough money and power to get a lot more clients through Elizabeth's door.
So he came to look at the art and the gallery to make sure that nothing was going to happen at the party. Not that he was actually thinking that it would. The gallery was too small and held nothing worth stealing. It would be fine.
Though he couldn't say that he blamed her for being a little paranoid. Things had gotten a little crazy for her since he and Neal had gotten into her life. It was easy to think that something might happen when it had happened. Not that either of them could be blamed for it if something did happen.
It wasn't their fault that he and Neal were good at what they did. They had spent years studying and working their butts off to make sure that they were the best in their field. It wasn't easy being a con-artist.
He could still remember when he first brought the younger man under his wing. He had wanted to bash his head into a wall half of the time. It was surprising just how hard to get to know Neal truly was.
That wasn't exactly true. It wasn't that he was hard to get to know it was that he didn't trust anyone to not hurt him. He had told Mozzie a few years after they partnered up that he had assumed that being hurt was just part of being around other people.
Needless to say the kid was a contradiction. He loved with all of his heart and he fell quickly, but he also thought that people would hurt him for just being there. It made Mozzie wonder just how much pain he had gone through.
That had been the main reason why he had pushed so hard for the forger to learn everything he could. If his brain was as talents as his art skills than there was always a reason to be kept around. He was invaluable.
It might not have been his best idea, but he didn't regret it. Neal had to be able to take care of himself or convince someone that it was in their best interest to take care of him. That was the thing that kept him alive.
At least it had at first. It still surprised him just how quickly the young man had picked it all up. He took book after book and went through them all until he understood everything. Until everyone knew that he was the best.
Neal had gone beyond his wildest dreams. He had actually gotten enough skill to be able to take one look at a painting and know if it was a forgery or not. Not just know if it was a forgery, but know who forged it. Just one little look and he knew all.
Being able to watch the younger man use all of the skills that he had was an amazing thing to watch. At least it was most of the time. Mozzie really had thought that he was doing the right thing when he took Neal in.
Not because he needed a partner either. Despite was the Suit thought he hadn't brought Neal into the life. Neal had been more than ready to enter it one way or the other. Mozzie had just found him first. Which was a damn good thing in his mind.
If his lover had walked through the life on his own than he would have long been dead. Not because he didn't have the abilities, but because he had a mouth and a fair sized ego. Both things that could easily get one killed.
That was another reason why Mozzie refused to leave the man's side. It didn't matter that he had grown up or that he had much better control over himself. All that matter was the fact that he was still that kid sometimes.
Both he and the Suit knew that he was only ever a step away from thinking that he could do something that he couldn't. Neal Caffrey and 'impulse control' were not words to be used in the same sentence.
Surprisingly enough Neal knew about that little problem of his. He was well aware of the fact that he acted before he thought more often than not. Sometimes he truly didn't care, but other times he'd turn to Mozzie to question if he was doing the right thing.
Those times were far and few between now that he started working for the feds though. Instead of looking towards his lover he looked at his handler. He really thought that he was doing the right thing by staying and working for him.
Mozzie would never understand how that came to be. Criminals and feds could not be friends. It just couldn't happen. No one seemed to have told the younger man that though. Because he cared about all of the suits.
Just that thought made the con want to wrap Neal up and force him away from the situation. He'd do anything to keep the man safe and being around the FBI was the less safe place that he could possibly be.
It hurt more than he liked to admit because, as much as he hated it, Mozzie was fond of a handful of the feds himself. Not all the time and he certainly didn't trust them, but he did like them. A little.
Still, he could admit something that Neal refused to let himself believe. He was a tool in their minds. If he was at his best and doing whatever they wanted than everything was fine, but as soon as he thought for himself he was in the wrong.
He had tried to bring that up with his lover a few times, but the man shut him down. He liked living in that delusional world and, as long as Mozzie was there, he knew better than to try to bust delusions.
That didn't stop him from gathering evidence for the day that the walls finally came down. No, he had a lot of things to show the younger man about why cutting his anklet and running was the best for them all.
One of the main one being just how ill-informed they were. Not just in criminal activity, but in everything else. He and Neal had studied to do their work correctly. No one in White Collar seemed to have ever done that.
Instead they put Neal in dangerous situations and hoped that they could get him out in time. You'd think that someone in their ranks would be able to do what they wanted the forger to do on a daily. They didn't.
All of them walked around like they understood the world that they were trying to stop, but none of them were willing to actually take the time to learn anything. It was all down to Neal's skills because they were too lazy.
Not that he was bitter about it. No, he was simply waiting for the other shoe to drop and for his lover to see just the kind of people he was dealing with. Mozzie just hoped that happened before it was too late.
Taking another sip of wine Mozzie attempted to force himself to live in the moment. He was surrounded by art. That was one of his favorite places to be. The last thing he should be doing was thinking of the Suit.
The only problem with that was looking at art made him think of Neal. Not just because it was one of their shared interests, but because he had taught the kid some of what he knew in a gallery similar to the one he was standing in.
He had never really had many pleasant memories before he met Neal. Yes, he had lived and had enjoyed his life, but he was alone throughout so much of it. Every happy memory he had reminded of that he was in fact alone. At least until Neal came into the picture.
After that things had changed. Like the first time he brought the younger man to an art museum. He had been living in the life for so long that he had forgotten to stop and feel instead of just look at the art.
It had been a truly fun experience. Not just because it opened his eyes to something that he had almost lost, but because Neal was just so clueless. You'd think that someone who had as much raw talent as Neal had that he would have an idea what he was doing. He had none.
That was where Mozzie had come in with books, paints, and canvas. He had never thought of himself as a sentimental person, but even after all of the years he still had the art that Neal had created when he was first learning.
He couldn't get rid of them and he had tried. Every time he looked at them though they brought him back to those days and he couldn't bring himself to do it. He also never told the other man he still had them squirreled away. Couldn't let him get a bigger ego.
Mozzie forced himself to take a breath so he didn't smile like he wanted to at those thoughts. He couldn't let people know that he was thinking of something that made him happy. It brought up too many questions. Okay, so he was being paranoid. He just liked having those thoughts to himself.
For the longest time he had to share his lover and that was before Kate had come into the picture. He might not have always like the woman, but at least Neal had been in love with her and had been happy. Mozzie could live with that.
What he couldn't stand was the fact that he had stupidly fallen for the face. He had put the man into that position and it bite him every time he had to sit back and watch Neal flirt and touch other people to get them to want him.
That had almost changed though. After they started to seriously date Neal had wanted to stop doing things like that. He had said that it felt too close to cheating. The idea that he was truly worried about hurting Mozzie had warmed his heart, but he had dismissed that thought quickly.
The best cons came when one got close to the victim. As it was they had slowed down on putting out as being a love interest. Cousins, business partners, and the like were just as easy to work with. Romantic partners came up rarely and with much thought on both of their parts.
It hadn't taken long for him to figure out that the forger was a romantic at heart. He was in love with love and the last thing that he would ever do was cheat on anyone he was with. That just wasn't the type of person the man was.
What he was though was honest. Yes, he would distract when he didn't want to talk about something, which happened a lot, but in the end he was honest about things once he felt like he didn't have to protect himself. There was nothing like knowing Neal trusted you with himself.
That trust lead to so many different things. Like learning just how intelligent that younger man was. He might not have had the skills at first, but he was a quick learner that actually wanted to know what he was being taught.
It was surprising just how willing he was. Mozzie had been told more than a few times just how controlling he got when it came to learning. Neal had taken all of that and ran. That willingness was the main factor in him convincing the man to partner up more permanently. It was his best decision.
"Mozzie," someone said resting a hand on his shoulder.
It took everything in him not to spin around and demand to know who the person was. Only the fact that he wasn't there alone stopped him from doing just that. Turning around he smiled at Elizabeth only to stop when he got a good look at her.
The woman was one of the most put together people that he had ever met. He often joked that she would have made a brilliant con-artist in another life. All of that had been washed away and in front of him was just a woman.
Falling back on his skills with cold readings he took everything in. She looked like she was about to start crying. Which was always worrying. That only doubled when he saw the cell phone clutched in her hand.
His heart dropped when he saw that. A phone call meant that something had happened to someone. It could easily be a friend or family member of hers, but based off the sadness and fear in her eyes he knew that it was someone closer to home.
"Elizabeth?" he questioned already feeling panicked.
"We have to get to the hospital," the woman offered swallowing roughly.
"Which one?"
"Neal."
Nodding his head Mozzie turned and started towards the door without a word. He could barely hear the woman moving behind him, but he knew that she was right there. It didn't matter though. All he cared about was getting to the hospital.
He stood there quietly as she hailed a taxi and forced himself to get in. A small Neal-like voice told him that he should say something, but he couldn't bring himself to comfort her. He couldn't even comfort himself.
Time almost seemed to move differently because before he knew it the woman was linking her arm with his and leading him through the hospital and into a waiting room that already had the Suit and his team in it.
"Elizabeth," the Suit greeted his voice barely over a whisper.
Squeezing his arm she rushed into her husband's arms and held him close. Over her shoulder though the two men stared at each other as if having a silent conversation. At least the fed was talking. Mozzie didn't care about what he had to say.
"Peter," Elizabeth said drawing away from him and grabbing both of their attention, "What happened?"
"He was in a bar talking to a suspect," he answered running a hand over his face, "One second they're laughing and talking about something and the next Neal is on the ground bleeding everyone is yelling and fighting. We still don't know what happened in there."
Listening to the Suit talk Mozzie felt the pain and anger that he hadn't before take a hold of him. With a shaky breathe he turned from the man and walked away ignoring the looks from the agents that he was getting.
He was well aware that all of them knew about his and Neal's relationship. He also knew that all of them were watching him to see what he was going to do or, better yet, if he was going to harm someone.
Not that he could blame them. If he thought that he wouldn't be remembered than he would make a scene. He would yell and scream and do everything he could to make Agent Burke's life complete hell.
He wasn't the type of person to do that though. Even in hospitals it was too easy to remember faces of people that did that. Being remembered was the last thing that he ever wanted to be to the world.
So he'd sit there quietly thinking of all the ways that he could destroy the other man without getting caught. Hell, if Neal didn't pull through he'd stop caring if he got caught at all. He's just hurt the fed every way he could.
It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did just how afraid he was at that moment. He knew that he cared for Neal, but he never thought that the idea of not having him in his life would make it so hard to breathe.
It wasn't the first time that the man had been hurt. It wasn't even the first time that he had been in the hospital. What it was the first of was him having not been there when something went wrong. He couldn't get over that.
He and Neal were partners. They worked together on practically everything. Especially the more dangerous things. Being partners was the reason both of them weren't hurt more often. They knew how to keep each other safe. Something that the FBI obviously had no idea how to do.
As much as he wanted to yell at the Suit for causing all of it he wanted to yell at himself more. He couldn't believe that he had allowed it to get so far. He had let Neal get close enough to a fed to actually care and look where they were. He would never be able to forgive himself it the man died.
"Mozzie," Elizabeth said knocking him from his thoughts.
Looking up he saw a doctor standing there surrounded by the others. He calmly made his way over not bothering to try to elbow his way in and find out what had happened with his lover. At the moment opening his mouth would just result in yelling.
"Mr. Caffrey is going to be okay," the doctor said his voice raised to speck over the feds, "He lost quite a bit of blood, but we were able to stitch up his side. It was a clean cut. At least as clean as a bottle can give one. I'm keeping him here for the weekend to make sure that he doesn't get an infection, but he's okay."
"Can we see him?" the Suit jumped in with his best 'I-am-the-boss' tone.
"Not all of you. He's asleep right now and the last thing I want is to cause him any stress. Shelly, the floor nurse, will show you the way."
Instantly the man was barking out commands to his people telling them that he wanted everything that they had on the man that hurt Neal. Mozzie wanted to laugh at him for thinking that finding the guy would actually help the situation at all.
He didn't do that though. Not because he didn't want to, but because the Suit didn't matter to him at the moment. Neal did and if being quiet meant that he got to see his lover faster than that was what he was going to do.
As soon as the mini suit's were gone the three of them started down the hallway to the forger's room. None of them made a sound as they walked. All too caught up in their own thoughts to care about the other.
It didn't take long before they were standing in front of a room. The Suit stopped short of walking in looking like he was afraid of what he was going to see when he did go in. Mozzie couldn't blame him for that, but he also was angry enough not to care about his feelings.
Brushing past the man he walked into Neal's room forcing himself to hold tightly onto the anger that wanted to escape when he saw the man. He looked so completely drugged. It was not a good look on him.
Neal was an active person. Even in his sleep he moved around. He pulled faces, muttered under his breathe, and curled up against him like an octopus. It was amusing to watch. Him not being like that was just wrong.
Making his way over he sat by the bed and took the man's hand in his own silently promising to never let go. It might have only been a little blood loss this time, but he doubted they would be so lucky again. He couldn't do this again.
"Mozzie," the Suit tried to start taking a step forward.
"Leave," the con cut him off not bothering to look his direction.
"I didn't mean for this…"
"I don't care what you meant."
"I didn't know that this…"
"I don't care, Agent Burke. You're job is to protect your people. You willingly sent him into a dangerous situation without a second thought."
"I didn't know it was…"
"Did you bother to find out? Or did you just throw him into the lion's den believing that he could take care of himself? That he had done this all before so he didn't need you to have his back?"
"That's not fair. I would never put an agent in danger like that."
"He's not an agent. He's your CI. He's the person that you're supposed to protect. He's the one you failed."
"Mozzie," Elizabeth tried to cut in.
"You were supposed to protect him and you failed," the con continued finally looking up to stare blankly at the fed, "You did this to him. You are the reason he's in this bed. Remember that. Because when he's better he'll tell you that he's fine and that it wasn't your fault. Accidents happen and no one could have predicted it. He might actually believe that himself. That's a lie though. You did this. You almost got him killed."
"Mozzie..."
"Leave."
"I can help."
"You've done enough damage. I've got him now. I'll keep him safe like I always have."
"Moz."
"You're his handler and I can't force you to stay away. I wouldn't hurt him like that anyway, but make no mistake. I don't want you here and whatever relationship we had before is over. I'm here for Neal and Neal alone. Now leave."