A Change Of Heart

By: Lady of Spain

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight.

Chapter 1: Second Thoughts

I stood there feeling numb—unable to move, the razor sharp rock still tightly gripped in my hand. I could feel the blood slowly inching down my left arm, leaving rivulets of red liquid trickling onto the pristine white snow beneath me.

The moment seemed almost surreal. The silence in the air was eerie and unnerving.

Very gently, I heard a soft voice—Edward's voice saying, "Bella, love, it's over. You're safe. She can never hurt you now. Please, Bella, put the rock down."

I heard his words, but I still couldn't move. My mouth wouldn't utter a sound. It was like my mind was as frozen as the snow under my feet.

Slowly, cautiously, he walked toward me with his arms raised—his palms facing me. As he inched forward, I subconsciously stepped back a little at a time.

"I'm not going to hurt you; no one will ever hurt you again," he whispered.

My mind suddenly came alive with the memory of Edward and me, chatting in the cafeteria at the high school. I had asked him if I could watch him while he hunted. His outburst had frightened me. He explained the dangers of being near him as he searched for his next meal. I could see why; as I had just observed his relentless pursuit and extermination of Victoria. It was furious and brutal. He dismembered her as if she was a department store mannequin.

I wanted to be with Edward forever, but could I stand being like that? Would I be like that? A monster he had called himself; would I become a monster too? It was unthinkable. Charlie and Renee—what would they think of me, a cold marble statue with a ruthless heart? Was I doubting what I wanted for my future?

Once again I was grateful that he couldn't read my thoughts. This would kill him.

Edward softly reiterated, "Bella, love, I don't want you to hurt yourself. Please let go of the rock, sweetheart."

Confused, I looked at my hand clenched so tightly around the edges of the chipped shard, and quickly let it drop to the ground.

Edward walked quietly toward me, as I slowly backed away again. Would I let him touch me?

Too late … he instinctively wrapped his stone cold arms around me in a suffocating embrace. I recoiled as his arms curled around my shoulders. He stiffened slightly, noticing my reaction. Kissing the top of my head, he rested his chin there.

He leaned back a bit and reached out to tear a strip of fabric from my shirt which he placed around my bleeding laceration. Right at that moment, he looked up instantly alert, peering out toward the clearing where the battle was still raging.

I finally found my voice.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

He hesitated, then said, "It's the wolves—one of them has been injured. "He averted his eyes from me as he spoke the words.

Please God, don't let it be Jake, I thought.