A/N: Normally, I wouldn't put a note here, but I figure I should give credit where credit is due. While it was my idea to apply this to one of my favorite couples, it's not the most original idea. This is loosely based on the last scene Amy and Ephram shared on Everwood in the series finale. Hopefully I'm not the only one who thinks it's perfect for these two as well. This was written for the OCFF Challenge of the week over at livejournal and it happened to be the winner this week. If you do read, please review. Thanks!
He was nervous, there was no denying that. His palms were clammy, his knee was bouncing, and he had yet to let a single minute pass before looking at the face of his watch at least twice. His cell phone sat beside him, and he watched it as if it may begin to talk and start a conversation with him any second. But it was the call that he was waiting for, the call he had waited a year now to hear, and being this nervous over hearing that one soft, sweet voice again was going to be worth all of this.
He hadn't seen her since the night of their high school graduation, over a year ago now that it was the middle of June and she had left sometime in early May. He hadn't heard her voice in that same amount of time, seeing as she never knew when she would be receiving cell phone service in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Emails came daily, but they weren't the same. They promised a friendship when she got back, but he wanted more. So much more… But how did he tell her that? How did he tell her that when he just let her walk out of his life? And now she was coming back. Tonight. He had no idea what to say, but he had to say something.
Ryan Atwood sighed as he ran a shaking hand through his short sandy blonde hair, sighing to himself. If he wanted to blame someone, it had to be Jimmy Cooper's fault. He was the one to offer his daughter an escape, to let her start over, and she had happily accepted. It was definitely easier to blame Jimmy Cooper for his separation than it was to blame himself. But in all reality, he didn't do a thing to stop her. He drove her to the airport, he hugged her goodbye and told her to make sure she didn't forget about him. He listened to her whisper softly in his ear that that would be impossible, and he felt her soft lips leave one last mark on his cheek. He saw the tears clouding her sapphire colored eyes as she pulled back, he made sure to always remember the soft smile she gave him as she whispered one final farewell, and then he watched her retreating form walk away.
He stayed in the airport for two hours after she left, just in case… Well, he didn't know. Maybe it was the FRIENDS reruns that Marissa had been indulging herself in the last couple of months they were together as a couple. If he stayed, maybe his own Rachel Green would get off the plane and he wouldn't have to wait to hear her voice on his answering machine to know that she was still in Newport. But while Ross and Rachel were her favorite couple, she wasn't about to turn back around and run into his arms. So, it wasn't until her flight had already landed in Hawaii, or when it was supposed to have landed, that he left the airport, along with that era of his life.
Ryan had tried to move on in those first few months. He had no idea why it was so hard to move on when they hadn't been together when she left, but it seemed so final. And it wasn't long before he found out just how right he had been. Her summer sailing from Hawaii to Greece with her father soon turned into a year doing the same day after day, which he found out through an email in late July. His mind had raced with questions as soon as he read that message, wanting to know exactly what was making her stay. Was it another guy? Had she met someone? Was it the serenity, the idea of being away from the drama that seemed to constantly surround Newport and their lives? Was it something else entirely? But instead of asking, he had emailed her back to let her know that he thought it would be good for her, that he would miss her while making it seem as platonic as possible, and asked her to write back soon. Which she did, once a day for the next year until now.
It was a week ago that he got her newest email, the subject line reading something along the lines of "I'm finally coming home!" his heart had skipped a beat when he read it, ecstatic to finally be able to see her again. But when he asked if she wanted him to meet her at the airport, she had responded quickly with a no, telling him that it wasn't necessary. She wanted to see her mother and Kaitlyn again first, but she would catch up with him as soon as possible. He had been disappointed, but it soon changed, with her telling him that she would call him that night, so he should be waiting by the phone. And that's how he got to where he was.
He knew that Summer was picking her up and bringing her back to the house that Neil and Summer still shared with all three Cooper women when they were in Newport. She promised to call him as soon as Marissa was safely home, and that had been over four hours ago now, and he was still waiting for that phone call. Sighing once again, he laid back on the bed, only to hear his phone ring just then.
He sat up quickly and pulled it over to rest in his lap, but that was the last move he made at that moment. Suddenly, he wasn't just nervous, he was on the verge of panicking. Since when did Ryan Atwood have anxiety attacks? He didn't know, but he knew that he had to answer this phone call, he had to tell her how he felt that night. Taking a deep breath, he hesitated only a second longer before flipping his phone open. "Hello?"
"Hey… It's me…" Her voice was soft and laced with that same shyness that he had always loved about her. While she was confident around everyone else, he had always gotten to see this side of Marissa Cooper, the one that needed him more than anything else. He had missed listening to her talk to him for hours, he had missed this. Suddenly, he didn't want to spend his Saturday nights any other way for the rest of his life, but before he could express this desire, she was talking again. "I'm home. I'm back in Newport."
"I know." I know? He couldn't do any better than that? This was the girl he had just had an epiphany about, the one that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and all he could say was I know? He had to redeem himself now, so he took another deep breath before speaking a little more confidently than before. "So… I was really hoping that we could talk…"
"Yeah, I want to talk to you too… Do you think you could meet me somewhere?" He felt more sure of himself as he heard her tell him the same thing, and he was surprised that she even worded her statement as a question. Of course he wanted to see her now, that wasn't a question he had to dwell on for any amount of time.
"Of course… Where do you want to meet me?"
He was surprised when he was met with silence for a long period of time, the only other sound being her soft breathing every so often. Finally, she spoke again, and he could tell she was biting her bottom lip. "Umm… Well, I'm not sure if you've been there before, I'll give you directions…"
He wasn't sure how to respond at first, caught off guard by her request. After a minute, he responded, a little leery. "Uh, okay… You could just tell me where it is…"
The sound of her melodic laugh filled the line, and he felt himself smile, happy to hear the sound after so long. Her answer wasn't what he wanted at all though. "I like it better if you don't know… At least for now… First, you're going to have to obviously leave the cul-de-sac. At the exit, go east on Sunrise Highway." He groaned as he listened to her voice, only eliciting another cheerful giggle out of her. Whatever game she was playing with him, she was definitely enjoying it. "Then, you're going to turn left at Carmen's Avenue, you know, the one with the big Victorian manor on the corner?" He knew the location she was talking about, and muttered an answer as he sat up on the bed, writing short notes when he realized these directions were lengthier than he had originally thought. "Go right at the first stop-light, and I'll be outside, waiting for you."
He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair again, already standing up from the bed and grabbing his keys. "Marissa, I have no idea what the hell is even there, it's in the opposite direction of all the commercial industries within like a five-mile radius. How do I know you're not leading me on some wild goose chase so I'll make a fool of myself for your entertainment."
"I'll be waiting for you… What? You don't trust me? You're not willing to have a little fun anymore? I said I'm going to be there, and I will be there. You don't have to doubt me."
After complaining a little while longer, he finally agreed to meet her in the next fifteen minutes, trying his best to hide his apprehension about the situation. He tried to think of reasons she may want to talk as he drove. By the time he was leaving their gated subdivision, he had moved on from the obvious reason that she felt the same to the conversation that would start with "I really did love dating you…" and ended with "… I think we work best as friends." Then, the night would cultivate into a nightmare when she left with her current boyfriend and promise to talk to him again soon. He was already starting to feel that same nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach before he had even gone a mile on Sunrise Avenue.
As soon as he turned at that first stop-light, he began to wonder if she had told him right. All he could see was an expansive area of shoreline, completely vacant with only a single streetlight to add to the cold atmosphere. It was already ten o'clock at night, but it seemed darker to him in this unfamiliar area. And he couldn't see Marissa anywhere. This beach obviously had a public access during the day because there was a parking lot there, the source of that sole light, and he pulled into a spot a minute later. He was glad that he had thought to throw on his black leather jacket when he left the car, feeling the cool night air against the back of his neck. He shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked towards the stairs that led down to the water, and that's when he saw it.
The beach below was illuminated in a colorful array of lights that could only come from one thing. A bright Ferris Wheel lay just a few yards from the base of the stairs, and she was the only person there, standing in front of it. His confusion showed as he slowly made his way down to where she was waiting. Her hair was loose and longer than he remembered, blowing freely behind her back. She was in a simple pair of jeans and her Berkley sweatshirt, and he wondered for a minute if that was because she knew that was where he was attending school now. He was only back in Newport for the summer, he knew she knew that. That was why he had wanted to meet her as soon as possible. She offered him a small smile as he stopped to stand a few feet in front of her. "Hey…" he finally managed, but she only shook her head.
She held up a single hand to stop him from continuing on, and he realized for the first time that she was just as nervous as she bit her lip lightly before speaking to him. "Don't say anything just yet. I want to go first this time, and I figured since I brought the Ferris Wheel, you'd let me."
He only nodded in response, not saying anything as she had asked. His initial reaction was to go back and sit on the rocks just a few feet away to keep his knees from shaking so hard, but he couldn't move away from her. Instead, he took a couple steps closer, making the gap between them almost non-existent. It made his heart race to take in her scent again, a mix of the honey scented shampoo she always used and the sweet fragrance of her favorite perfume. He knew that it had a similar affect on her when she had to take a deep breath before starting again.
"Okay… I, umm…" She showed just how unsure of herself she was in that moment as she pulled back down to her feet, pulling her hair back behind her before pulling it all to one side in the next minute. After a long silence, she looked back up at him. "Four years ago, you came to Newport and you changed my life. I never thought that one person could do that to another… but you did… From the moment that I met you, and each moment after that, somehow everything that happened to me kept coming back to you. Luke, Tijuana, that day in the penthouse, my mother's wedding, my relationship with Alex, Trey, my dad leaving, Senior Prom, Graduation… Everything." She paused then, giving him that same sweet smile again. "I don't know if the Ferris wheel reminds you of anything…?"
He looked back up at the towering amusement park ride in front of him before meeting her beautiful blue irises again, a half smile gracing his own lips. "Are you kidding me? How could I forget our first kiss? It's when I first realized that you felt those same feelings for me that I had been feeling for you."
She laughed softly as she glanced back down to her feet, meeting his gaze again more quickly this time. "I can't believe you remember that…"
His brow furrowed in confusion as he stepped closer once again, raising a hand to gently cup her cheek in a less than friendly manner. He saw her own surprise radiating from her eyes as he looked back at her. "I remember everything about us…"
"Me too." She said it immediately, without hesitation, and for the first time that night he thought her voice sounded hopeful. He waited on edge for what she would say next now, but he didn't have to wait for long. "See? That's the thing: Every time I try to forget the feelings I have for you, they just keep coming back, and now they're back, and I don't want to push them down anymore… I don't want to run away from us… Because I never want to lose you again." Her confession was shocking to say the least, and his eyes widened just slightly, showing his surprise. He wasn't expecting this at all when he had agreed to meet her tonight. "And I just want to be with you… Next to you… Wherever you are… Be it Newport, Berkley, Greece, or the moon for all I care."
Hearing her voice, he nodded in response, gently caressing his cheek. "Marissa, I…" Before he could get any further, she continued on with her rambling.
"And I don't want to waste any more time. I really don't… Because I hate that we've lost all this time…And I know it's my fault, I know that it was my decision to leave and then to stay for another nine months… And I just really hope that you can forgive me."
"Marissa…"
But she only took the time to breathe again before forging on and finally admitting her feelings aloud in those three little words. "Because I love you, Ryan Atwood… I love you."
She wasn't able to say anything else as he cut her off, pressing his lips against hers for the first time in over eighteen months. It was the most meaningful kiss each of them had ever experienced. It was sweet and loving, yet tantalizing and passionate at the same time. It held all their unspoken feelings from the past year, the ones that typed words over the internet couldn't express. It was the best kiss that they had both ever had, and they knew that no other kiss would measure up to the intensity of this one. So, he savored her taste, the feel of her mouth against his own, until neither could suppress the need to breath for a second longer.
He met her eyes again as he gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, his breath shaky from the depletion of oxygen only seconds before. "Is it my turn yet?" His attempt at a joke produced a small smile from her as she nodded quickly in response, her heart still racing from the intensity of his kiss. He pecked her lips just quickly before continuing on. "Good… Because I love you too. I knew it then, when we were first together on that Ferris wheel. I knew it then, when you left for Greece. And I know it now. I'll know it forever and always. You're it, Marissa. You're my one and only."
She gave him a shy smile, the one that always made his heart melt as he continued to caress her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I am?"
He nodded, giving her that same half smile as he whispered softly into her ear, pulling her in for a warm embrace. "You always have been…" They stood there together on the beach, wrapped in each other's arms for a long while. Ryan hadn't known this was what his night had had in store for him when he left the pool house, but now, he couldn't see a reunion with a girl like Marissa Cooper, and girl he loved like Marissa Cooper, going any other way.
It was a while later when he finally pulled back, both of them laughing softly as she turned around in his arms to face the Ferris wheel once again, his hands resting at her waist. His mind swam with questions, wanting to know how she had come up with the idea, who had helped her, how she could be so sure it would work, but only one question he spoke aloud. "You want to go for a ride?" She nodded softly in response as she laced her fingers through his, leading him over to the ride where the only other person on this stretch of sand was. The older gentleman gave them a smile, having enjoyed the scene in front of him as they got into the first bench that made its way down to them.
They stayed there on that abandoned beach late into the night, until the moon was almost as bright as the sun would've been had it been midday. His arm stayed around her waist, her head on his shoulder, as they talked about their lives apart from each other the past year and what the future held in store for them. But both of them were content with this moment in time. You could only have one "one", and they were more than lucky to have found each other.