"I never chose to be like this. Sure, every girl dreams of being seen as an equal in the eyes of her guy friends and not just the next "I'd tap that," but I never dreamed of this happening. I need to leave but it's my duty to be loyal to the pack. What's a girl to do?" Leah wrote in her diary. All her life she had wanted to be accepted by the guys of La Push but this was something completely different. This was beyond acceptance; there was a bond loyalty and an intrusion of privacy. Being the "Woman of the Pack" wasn't all it was cracked up to be. All the guys were either taken or had imprinted, even Seth; which left Leah to her own thoughts and emotions that, when in wolf form, were met with "you'll find someone" or "worrying is girly stuff and not meant for a rugged warrior."
"Well maybe I'm not cut out to be a rugged warrior," Leah continued, "I just need to get away for a little while. That way I can find myself, or someone or whatever. I need me time. But how can I go without the guys knowing and my parents going berserk?" Leah paused and thought, "I'll figure something out. Goodnight Diary."
The next day, Leah joined Emily in cooking for the boys, who had left Leah to take care of some business in the northern part of the area. Being unusually quiet, Emily immediately became suspicious.
"What's wrong Leah? You don't seem yourself today." Emily spoke, brushing flour from the side of Leah's face.
"I don't know what to do Emily. I'm just sick and tired of being left alone all the time. All the guys have imprinted and are working towards that, Sam has you, and I'm well…here."
"Don't worry Leah, you'll find…" Emily stopped mid sentence when met with a distinct 'don't go there' glare from Leah. "Well it's true."
"Emily, I'm beginning to wonder if I can even imprint. I'm the first, and so far the only female wolf known to the tribe and none of the elders can give me a definite answer as to if I can or not. It's almost come to the point of being completely ridiculous."
"What you need is a vacation. Get away from here for a little while to truly find your womanhood."
"But where? And how do I do that without my parents completely loosing it?"
Emily wiped her chicken covered hands off on a dish towel and placed them on Leah's shoulders and turned her so she could look her dead in the eye.
"Leah, you're 21 years old. I would not be your best friend if I didn't tell you that no matter what your parents say, you are an adult and can do as you please. So go on vacation."
Later that night, Leah did some research as to finding other Indian tribes across North America to see if any of them had the same transformation abilities as the Quileutes. After searching she found three probable options: Wappo in California, Zuni in Utah, and Adai in Louisiana. After brainstorming how to ask each tribe if she could pay them a visit, she was completely stumped. How could you just write a letter asking elders of another tribe if you, a stranger, could interrupt their lives in order to find yourself?
"There's only one person I know of that could help me word this in a way that they won't just turn me away," Leah thought to herself before letting out a long sigh, "Rosalie."