Okay, so this is actually the novel I've been working on for months. I finished it in May but I never really got a chance to edit it seeing as I was writing the second one (which is half-way through, BTdubs.)
I'm posting this on here so that people can help me to edit it and make it better. Please be overly critical and don't just compliment it. I WANT CRITICISM. (no out-right flaming though, because flames aren't helpful)
If you are coming here from FaceBook, please use your first name to review (reviews are at the bottom) so that I will know who to credit. Yes, if you help edit this, you will most likely be thanked when this thing gets published.
Please read and edit.
Danke. :)
Oh, and some chapters might start out with random quotes that I wrote into the notebook as I was writing. They might be relevant to the chapter, or they might just be me being weird and ADHD.
NOW you can read...!
"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so that you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." -Maya Angelou
"Book bomb level: Cheese!" -Ryan
"On August 17, 2011, I made tea!" -Me
"If you asked anyone where they were when the twin towers were hit, they could probably tell you. I'm one of the people who, ten years later, remember every single detail of that day, and the few days that followed it.
"I was fourteen, almost fifteen, and living with my three brothers. Jonas and Gil were older and Wolf was the baby of the family, six years younger than me. Our mother had died while giving birth to Wolf, and our father had abandoned us two years after my mother died. He left Jonas, who was sixteen at the time, to provide for Gil, Wolf, and I.
"The four of us had to live on the streets for a while, but eventually we were able to move into a small two bedroom apartment. We probably would have ended up in a larger apartment if Jonas hadn't pissed of the mafia.
"Well, he didn't actually piss off the whole of the Italian mafia, just the son of the second man in charge at that time. Jonas did this by dating Felicia Veneziano, who was the daughter of the second ranking man. The two met about three years before the towers fell, and started dating about five months after they met. Jonas didn't tell any of the three of us about Felicia, though. We had to convince him to spill who his girlfriend was.
"And by convince, I mean that Gil had Wolf and me bother our eldest brother about it until he talked. He said that he was dating Felicia, but that she had an older brother who was very over-protective of her and so we couldn't tell anyone that they were dating. Not that Wolf or I would, we didn't even know who she was.
"The real reason was because Felicia's older brother hated Jonas for dating his sister, and was forcing him to do a lot of underground work for the mafia; otherwise Gil, Wolf, and I were dead. If Veneziano ever figured out that we knew what would happen, the price would only get steeper.
"But, unfortunately for us, Felicia was not very good at keeping secrets. Jonas had told her that we knew, and I guess she spilled to her brother, because soon Gil and I began working on the black market. I became very good at thieving during this time, to the point where I hardly ever got caught, even with the security cameras.
"By the time I started high school, we were practically working for Felicia's brother, Carlos Veneziano. I would usually bring my knife with me to school, not because I thought Veneziano would come after me, but because I just felt safer with it. That, and it was a long ride to Bisal High school, and I wanted it there for self-defense.
"Nothing really interesting happened to me during high school, not until the towers crashed and I lost my brothers. I didn't do much outside of my usual schedule. I'd go to school, hang on the edge of the group of punks, go home, do whatever homework I felt like doing, and then go steal stuff until night time. I didn't have any friends at school, but I really didn't care. Most of the kids at my school were Scheisskopfs anyway, and they all hated me, for two reasons. One, I was Jonas's little sister. Two, I was Gil's little sister. The people that knew me through Jonas disliked me because Jonas was every teacher's favourite, but he didn't work well with the other teens. He was mature for his age; he had to be, raising three obnoxious kids and all. Everyone else knew me from Gil, the trouble maker who could easily piss people off. So, before I even had walked into high school, I already had a reputation: stuck-up bitch who didn't play well with others.
"I didn't care what they thought of me, because they didn't matter. But, onto the towers. I woke up on September eleventh just like I did every other day. Nothing seemed weird that morning as Wolf and I got ready for school. I went through the first two periods of my day normally, but when I walked into third period that day, everything was silent. My history teacher had the television on, and the class was fixated on the news where a news reporter was talking about how a second plane had crashed into the Twin Towers. I watched, realizing that both of my brothers were in those buildings, and that they were most likely dead.
"I couldn't stand to watch it any longer, so I snatched some random girl's phone from her back pack and made my way to the bathroom, where I called Jonas first. He didn't pick up, so either his phone was off or he was already dead. I sighed, calming myself, and dialed Gil's number. He responded, but he sounded terrified and there was screaming all around him. Between the coughs, he told me to get Wolf and run before Veneziano caught up to us. I did exactly that.
"Wolf and I raced back to the apartment, throwing everything that we could fit into our respective duffel bags and then going back out. I left a note on the door, telling the land-lord that our father had apologized and that the four of us were heading back to Europe. To anyone besides Gil or Jonas, it would seem as though we really had gone back, but my older brothers would know better: we all hated our father. We would never go back to him. They, Gil and Jonas, would know where to come find us.
"Wolf and I ended up in central park, out of sight, but close enough that Gil or Jonas would easily find us. The next day was where everything started to get a bit strange. Wolf woke up before me, and when he did, he started poking me. I woke up and asked him what was wrong and he pointed behind me. There was a woman sitting on a bench, dressed in all white and staring at me. I stood up and walked over cautiously, asking why she was so interested in me and my brother.
'Are you Liesel Schmidt?' The fact that she knew my name made me nervous. Whatever she was here for was probably not a good thing for me. I instinctively gripped my knife, walking forward slowly." Liesel paused, fingering the same knife she had gripped upon meeting Emily Doherty. The man who had been interviewing her raised a dark eyebrow. "Liesel, continue please."
"I'm not sure if I can keep going. After all, some of the things that I went through during high school are quite confidential. If I told you them, I'd probably have to kill you." Liesel tucked a piece of golden hair behind her ear, keeping her eyes on the dark haired man across from her. The man chuckled. "Miss Schmidt, you're quite humourous. Surely you can tell me! Besides, not all of this will end up in the documentary."
Liesel snorted, shaking her head. "Don't lie to me. I know what the real motive is. You're working with Johanson and you want information on the school so you'll know where I'm holding your queen."
"What are you talking about?"
"You know very well what I'm talking about, Mr. Garcias. Outre has been watching you, we know that you aren't in the filming business anymore. You're loyal to Johanson. Don't even bother trying to deny it. You're only here to gain information about me and my people, how we were trained, how we were able to capture Margaret Johanson before he could get me. Don't play stupid." Liesel narrowed her eyes at the Spaniard, who was beginning to look nervous. Behind him, the door swung open, revealing a pale woman with sharp gray eyes, holding a large, blood-stained knife. "Michelle and I are finished outside. You ready to go?"
"Of course." Liesel nodded to the blonde behind the pale woman. Michelle nodded back and raised her gun, firing a single shot into the back of Garcias' head. The man slumped down and Liesel walked over him, glancing down slightly at the blood stained floor. "We're nothing but a bunch of killers, Garcias. The only difference is that we kill to save lives."
Liesel led the two other women out of the building, thinking back to when she had been told that by the man who replaced her father. Everything had changed for her the day that she met Emily Doherty in central park. She and Wolf would have most likely died on the streets if Doherty hadn't chosen to turn Liesel into an assassin.
"It's actually kind of ironic, that we're alive now. Really, we should all be dead." Michelle placed her gun back into its holster.
"But we're not. We keep fighting." Liesel replied. 'And that's what keeps us alive…'
Okay, so that was the prolougue. (totally spelled that wrong.) Please review so that I can improve this and get it published faster, and I promise that if you do help, you'll be mentioned in the book.
Danke~