RAZOR THORNS
Ponyboy Curtis
tell 'em that god's gonna cut you down
Leila Winston was the older sister of Dallas and if anyone thought he was bad, when they met her they thought he was a sweetheart.
She was meaner than Dallas. No one really liked her much. At least with Dallas you could tell there was something there, some emotion and there was also the way he watched out for Johnny. Dallas Winston was just cold and had quite a few walls.
Leila Winston felt nothing, and cared for nothing. She was mean and rude and she never once regretted it. She did not think twice about anyone but herself. There was no soft spot for a single person. There was no compassion for Johnny's unprovoked bruises and no sympathy for the death of the Curtis's parents. She once said when her and Dallas's mother died, she didn't even blink an eye. Dally had to leave then, he went to Buck's and got drunk to blow off steam. Even this showed that he was human. Leila never had to blow off steam, she never smiled or laughed or cried. She was like stone and she never broke.
Dallas cared for her, well at least he fought to. He really tried to love her but it must of been hard, I could never even fathom that. But you could see him try - when she insulted their mother, he'd leave the room instead of yelling at her like he'd do anyone else and he never fought back when she screamed and scratched at him. Not that he needed too, she was lankier than him, couldn't fight, only with her mouth. It was weird though, seeing him just stand there and take the abuse. He would never once do that with anyone, not even Johnny. Maybe it was because she was the only blood he had.
Physically, Leila and Dallas had even less in common. Dallas had white blond hair, straight as a whip. His face was elvish and he had piercing blue-grey eyes. Leila had copper coloured waves of hair, and her eyes were such a dark blue it wasn't until you got less than a foot away from her that you realized that they weren't black. It was kind of a shame, just like Dallas her eyes were beautiful. Also like Dallas she was lanky, and maybe she could be considered attractive if her face wasn't so dead and emotionless.
When Johnny died it seemed that Dallas's forced affection for his sister wasn't enough to keep him sane. He went crazy and that got him killed. He went out like we thought he would though; reckless in a blaze of glory.
Somehow that sparked something in Leila, it was almost unnoticeable but I had always been one for details.
After Dally had been shot, we all went back to the house and sat on the floor. Darrel called Leila and it seemed she was with us in seconds. I don't think the others noticed because her changes were small.
The first one was her hair was a mess. No matter how it was styled: ponytail, straight, curls... it was always in place. She even cared a tiny brush she could fit in her purse where ever she went.
The second was her clothes, Leila took so much pride in her appearance. My guess was because that all the girl had going for her. She was always dressed to the nines, in a dress and heels. She stood in front of us in Dallas's plaid shirt, tights, and cowboy boots.
The next thing was her eyes. They weren't puffy or red like she'd been crying but they were a brighter blue, they didn't look cold.
These were such tiny details but I knew what they added up to. Her stone cold bravado was crumbling for once and it took Dallas dying to do it.
At first I had been so mad. If she had shown just tiny bit of emotion before, she could have saved her brother. He would have had something else to hold onto, but because of her stand off attitude we lost two people that day. I blamed everything on her in that moment. Then I looked at her again and her eyes were a bit glassy and I didn't seem all that mad anymore because I knew she was thinking the exact same things as me.
All this happened in a matter of a minute and then she was back to herself. Her eyes were black again, her face was frozen and she left us with nothing but a bored glare and a 'I don't care'.
I never saw her again after that, though. Steve did, at Buck's the next night. He came back and told us that she had been drunk and she had been trying to start fights with the girls there. She was finally feelings but now it was all too late, I was pretty sure she knew that, though.
Its been three years since that day, and Leila was in the paper. She killed herself; it appeared her detachment had been what she needed. When she started letting things hurt again, it must of been too much. She was found last week, she drove her car off a bridge just outside Los Angeles.
The one thing the Winston's taught me that the ones that seem the toughest, feel the most violently.